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Should I Go Single?
My name is Kaitlin, I am fourteen, and I am a female. I've been thinking about becoming single for the remainder of my existence.
It all began when I had my first boyfriend. I was merely eleven years old. It only lasted two days. Kid love, of course. When I was twelve, I had my second boyfriend. It lasted only five days. [It was a stupid one...] My third boyfriend was later that year. It lasted all summer. Two - Three months. Then he hurt me terribly. I trusted him. And I trusted no one else in the world. He lied to me. But I still love him... The fourth one was very recent. It lasted about one year. I am now fourteen.
Last week, he committed suicide. I attempted suicide as soon as I found out. But I failed, because my best friend [The third boyfriend I had] prevented it by taking necessary risks.
I still love him.
But he hates me.
I'm now best friends with his best friends.
And I enjoy every second spent with him.
But I regret ever telling him that I like him.
Should I go single for the remains of my life? If not, what should I do?
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Staying single isn't always great if you can't handle being alone. I'm very sorry to hear about him committing suicide and please, do not ever attempt it again yourself. You shouldn't run away from your problems and instead stand and face them head on, even if they're scary.
A) Forget about your third boyfriend. It's good that he saved you, but he's obviously not boyfriend material if he's hurt you.
B) Give it a shot if you like this guy. If it turns out to be bad, shrug your shoulders. At least you tried. Dear, there are millions of men in this world for you to get to know. You just need to go fishing, but be safe while doing it. Sometimes you can get stabbed with the hook.
If you don't like being alone, if you need someone to lean on, I say keep trying! You've got a lot of time and it's best not to shorten it by trying suicide.
Best of luck to you!
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You don't have to vow celibacy forever just yet. You're still young, and have all the time in the world to get your romantic life sorted out.
You are right, though: you're not ready to date right now because you're not emotionally stable enough to sustain a relationship. Going through the suicide of a boyfriend and your own attempt would break anyone.
Are you currently seeking counselling? A good counselor can help you to make sense of everything that has happened, and help you to take steps to put your life back in order.
Once you can make it on your own, then it's time to open up and share your life with another person. So no, you don't have to swear off dating forever, but a one or two year hiatus would do you a world of good.
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