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Suicide
i feel like my life is crumbling down. I'm thirteen,
my sister hates me and thinks i lie all the time, my boyfriend just wants me for sex, my best friend talks about me behind my back, my mom doesn't listen when i tell her i hate my life, my parents are divorced, my grades suck and nobody listens when i tell them i cant do it,everyone thinks I'm crazy, my parents both like my sister better, I'm the ugly one of the family who is good for nothing, sometimes my life hurts so bad it hurts, and Ive lost all hope that it can get better. I'm actually crying as I'm writing this. dying seems like the only way out, but i don't know if death hurts. all TV says its a relief and that its carries you away but what do they know? Why cant something in this world be hopeful? I hate it all. someone please help.
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Hey,
I'm sorry to hear about this.But tell me something-why do you want to commit suicide for these bunch of people who don't seem to care about you much?It will have been a waste of your life.And you don't want to make them important enough to waste your life on them-atleast that's what I tell myself whenever my family/friends get me down.
You know the funny thing about us humans-we tend to drown in our sorrows.We like to believe that we are alone in our grief and that no one understands us and the world is hopeless-I felt like that too.My parents used to underestimate me and insult me about my capabilities.My friends would exclude me from a lot of the things they did.The guy I liked insulted me after believing the rumours spread by some random person.I was too big a coward to commit suicide.But believe me,over time either it gets better or the intensity of pain is reduced because you get accustomed.
What I'm saying, may sound like rubbish and you may be thinking that i don't know half of it..and it isn't that easy.It maybe hard for you.But you've got to try.What I'm about to suggest may seem crazy but:talk to your sister,parents,best friend,boyfriend.And NEVER lose hope.Because,we don't live unless we have hope.There's always someone who cares..even if it doesn't seem that way.
Message me, if you just want to talk.
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I Can relate to this Ive had this problem! Dying will only make it worse! I suggest going to see a counsler they can help you get on some medicne its not as bad as it may sound but this could be a good thing just consider seeing your school one first Tell her a little about what you are going though at home also find a hobby that you like to do depression can take alot from you and heres a seacret deppresion is basically slowly killing you so dont give it a chance work against it! You'll be glad you did! and I want lie after being deppressed for lets say about a month you never just jump up and get over it but you have to start some were! Drink plenty of water! I can feel you need lots of energy!
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Edited answer: I'm sorry you feel my answer is wrong. Dying is not the answer and that is what stood out in what I read. Please do not consider dying as the only solution as it is not. Please follow the advice I have given you as it is good advice. there are people, doctors, social workers and therapist that can help you. You feel used and abused by your boyfriend and family.
Part of this is the extra sensitivity you are feeling because of the hormonal changes your body is going through as you go through puberty.To a degree it is normal; how you are feeling is not. There is medication that will help you feel better. Talk therapy with a trained therapist will help you workout the things that are bothering you.
You are 13 I'm 64 that's a difference of 51 years give me the benefit of my years that I know what I'm talking about. I know you are hurting and I would love to make all the hurt go away if I could. I can't the best I can do is give you the benefit of my years of knowledge and ask that you trust me and follow my advice. Call the hot line or go to the emergency room and get some help. There is no shame in asking for help. We live in a cold cruel world and some times we all need some help in navigating our way.
I don't know if you believe in god or a supreme being. I believe we are all put on this earth for a reason. You may grow up to the person that finds the cure for AIDS or cancer, one never knows. Okay you laughing now that's good. You never know what life has in store for you until you get there. You've hit a rough patch, with some help you will get through this and who knows you just may discover something,go on to be someone famous or the first women President.
Whatever life has in store for you remember this; take things one day at a time and always, always be kind to yourself.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
If you are feeling suicidal at this time call 911 NOW or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for help.
Suicide is not the answer to your problem(s). If you have not already done so I would like you to call the National Suicide hot line. There number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate 24/7 and are totally free and confidential. They have a network of crisis center around the country they can refer you to for help, probably one right in your home town or close to you. The call takers are trained professionals who are volunteers and are there to help you; so please give them a call, they can and will help you through this.
As a parent I can tell you that your parents still love you. Parents never stop loving their children. There are times when we may not like them very much, but we never stop loving them.
Please call the hot line I recommended above. If you feel like hurting yourself before you can get to someone that can help you please call 911. Tell the call taker how you are feeling, they will send help. The normal response is to send both Fire Rescue and the Police. Do not be afraid, the call taker will most likely want to stay on the phone with you until help arrives. The police are there to protect you and the others not to harm you or arrest you. The fire rescue people are there to take care of you and to take you to the hospital.
What is hurting you CAN BE RECTIFIED or mitigated that I am certain of. Please call the hot line or go to the hospital for help. I know there are people who love you and would miss you if you were to do this.
If nothing else please remember this: There are people that love you. Your parents love you and four people who have never met you have taken the time to write to you to convince you that hurting yourself is not the answer and ask you to seek help for whatever is causing you to feel this way.
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You are beautiful in your own way everyone is. Sometimes I think I need to tell my self that more often. Lose your boyfriend if you feel he is using you for sex he is not worth it. The best friend tell her if you feel you need to talk about me behind my back we are not that great of friends. Tell her I want to be friends with you but not if you are going to talk about me behind my back. Your grades will improve when who make your self happy. I think you should really focus on your school work. Its so important. ecspecially when you get to high school itll be very important for when you go to college because i know you are strong enough to go to college and show your mom how strong you are. Divorce is so hard. I was 15 and pregnant when my parents divorced and i had a little brother who was a year younger who took it real hard. I had to help my self and him and it was hard but you can do it. Im 19 now i made it i struggled but i know how important it is to have some one to talk to and i really want to be there and help you because suicide is not that answer. do you have facebook.. look me up my email is ashaboo77@yahoo.com and anything you need hun talk to me about it i know about life. i really do. im 19 with two kids and a step son and im married life is hard and i can barly pay my bills
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First off, suicide is a no-no. Not only will it be bad for you, but everyone else around you and that's rather selfish, don't you think? Things are tough, I know. I'm not much older than you, only a few years. My sister won't let me hug her, ever, in fact, she'll beat me up. The worst part? She's younger than me! You just need to play it safe, be yourself.
Break up with your boyfriend. If he wants you for sex, that's wrong! Not to mention you're way too young for that. As for your friend, forget him/her. Backstabbing is wrong. Although, I'm still friends with people who talk about me behind my back, I just agree with them... Most of it's true anyway. I know how it is with grades too. You need to force yourself to do the work and if you need help, FORCE yourself to get help. I know it's tough and you really don't want to, thinking 'Ugh! It's a waste of time!' Just get it over with so you don't have to keep doing it.
There is no such thing as ugly. I'm sure there's someone out there waiting for you, it just takes time. Your life is just beginning and you have tons of time to do things you want.
You shouldn't consider suicide. It's the easy way out and it's painful. Once you die, there's no turning back. You need to smirk in the face of those who mock you and narrow your eyes in those times of harsh reality. Never let people step on you when you try to crawl back up on your feet.
If you ever want someone to talk to, vent to, or something, go ahead and email me as I'm always online and checking my email. It's best to reach me at my Yahoo: fighter_of_words@yahoo.com.
Don't let life step on you! Step on it first!
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Let me help you, please don't give up. Life is only just beginning for you and so many things can happen that you would never dream of. I will tell you what happened to me. I was a happy child, and though I did have rough times when I was your age, only once was I so low that I thought of suicide. I was with a boy who just couldn't keep it in his pants, and he cheated on me with everything in a skirt. I loved him dearly and knew that underneath all of the bravado and the mask he wore for everyone, he was a very special guy. I was going to marry him.
Finally, at 17, I was able to break away. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
When I was 19 I married the wrong man. He wanted me to sleep with other guys. Again, I loved him dearly and I wanted so badly to please him. He made me feel like I was a prissy, ignorant child - he made me feel as if it was the expected thing that all normal people did, swapping wives - that kind of thing. I did it, and I ended up in an affair with the other guy that lasted twelve years. It ended with a devestation that was almost unbearable. I lost my husband, because he had fallen into an online porn habit that made him believe it was normal to want unnatural things - he made passes at our daughter. I found out about it at the same time the affair I was in broke up. I lost my husband, my lover, found out my daughter had almost been molested - all within a few week's time. I was beyond devestated.
It was the hardest, darkest and most horrible time in my life. It made breaking up with my first boyfriend look like a trip to Disneyland.
Then several things happened all at once. I met a man - who I am still with now - and he not only is the man who I've always dreamed of, but he brought me to God. For a while I was deliriously happy; now it's settled and I'm overall pretty happy - but everyone has bad day. *smile*
I was in the darkest place I had ever imagined - but it really did get better, and looking back, all of the bad *had* to happen - so that I could see and appreciate the good I have now. If life is all good, you won't ever be able to understand what "good" really is. Experiencing the bad is necessary, or you can never experience the good.
Things will get better for you, too. You are at a stage in your life where your emotions are stretching their wings - think of it like this: as a child you didn't have very strong emotions, they were not grown yet. Now, your body is changing and your emotions are changing, too. They're testing themselves. They're pushing as far as they can and pulling you along for the ride, and it HURTS. It's the most intense your emotions will be for the rest of your life! They *will* settle, they will calm. It's the hardest time in your life, right now, but you will get past it, you will get through it, and beyond that is a whole world where the opportunities are endless.
Don't depend on your parents or your sister to make them go away - they have forgotton and they don't understand, they love you- just from what you say I know they do, but they just don't know how to react to the way your emotions are battering you right now. They have forgotton.
Your parents are divorced - try to think about you and your boyfriend, and imagine how badly it would hurt if you broke up. That's how badly they are hurting, and they don't know how to handle it. Remember that it's not your fault - none of what is happening is your fault. They are having devastating emotions of their own, and those emotions are overwhelming to them, and they try to help you but they really don't remember how strong and intense emotions are at your age, and they are probably trying to think of a way to help you and just don't know how. To you it seems like they don't care, but they are just confused and in pain themselves.
Your sister is probably going through a lot of the same things - she just handles it differently. She might be holding it all in instead of letting herself really *feel* it. If so, it's going to explode on her one day. At least you are *feeling* it - you are trying to *deal* with it. It's not easy, no, not by any means at all, but you *can* do it! If you couldn't your mind would automatically suppress it. The mind works like that.
Your boyfriend and your best friend need to go - they are not good enough for you. Make sure, though, that you're not becoming too afraid, and seeing what you fear instead of what is really there.
There is hope, my friend, there is a future. What you are going through is actually normal - and it feels like everything is falling on top of you and you're going to be crushed - I know it does! - but you are strong and you can endure it. That's all that you must do, is endure it.
Take a sheet of paper and write down some goals. Then take one of those goals and write down the steps you need to take to get there. Then focus on each step, one at a time, and you will begin to feel better.
Look around at nature - nature is the most powerful force on earth. Nature is *why* these emotions are tearing you apart. Watch a sunrise, alone, and think about how powerful nature is, and try to understand that the very power that creates such beauty is the very *same* power that is pulling you around with these unbearable emotions.
Try to work your way back to basics. Try to quietly make your way through each day - one at a time. Do what you're supposed to do; listen to the teachers, work on your homework, find time to be alone and just think about what your goals are and how you will achieve them. If there are people who make you feel bad - avoid them. If there are things that make you feel good - truly, deeply good - good about yourself, as well as superficially good - do those things often.
Volunteer to help a child. Buy some toys and take them to a church - all churches have need of donations, in any form - tell the church you want the toy to go to a child who is alone. You will feel better knowing that YOU did something that is going to make a child smile.
If things upset you when you think about them, try not to think about them. Push them out of your head and try to distract yourself. It is SO hard, but it REALLY works.
Please, remember that no matter what, there is one person, right here - ME - and I CARE about what happens to you. I feel like your family cares, too, and God knows I might be wrong, but I think they do. No matter what, I do care, and I want to help; I haven't much to offer, but I can offer my best wishes and my reassurances that things *will* get better.
You might also try talking to your counselor at school. They get paid to help the students - not just with schedule issues and so for, but with personal issues! If the counselor blows you off, complain to the principal. If the principal blows you off, go to the administration. Someone along the way will see that you are troubled and will find a way to help.
You have so many, many years ahead of you. The whole world is open to you, and you would be missing out on so, so much if you gave up now. I know, I promise, it gets better - it gets easier; you only have to remember that your emotions are going haywire - they're testing the boundaries, seeing how hard they can push. It's normal - although it is much more difficult for some girls than it is for others. They're just developing SO SO fast that they are out of control. They will settle, and you will see things differently very very soon, maybe even tomorrow, and it would be terrible if you didn't wait to see.
So try to grit your teeth, try to put yourself in places that are calm and beautiful and peaceful, try to see the beauty of nature - and remember that the beauty is created by the same force causing the violence of your emotions: Nature.
I am sorry this has been so very long, but I can't say enough that I DO care. I've needed help sometimes and the world has beaten me down so many times that all I want to do now is BE THERE for other people who are in that dark, unhappy place that you describe and where I was, when I needed help from someone - anyone - who actually might care, and there was no one there. I want to do my part to make sure at least ONE person in this world does not have to suffer being in that dark and hopeless place alone. I am with you, and I care.
I hope I will hear from you soon. Visit my page and get my email, and write to me if you want. I'll do anything I can to help - even if it's just listening. You are NOT alone. *HUGS*
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