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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Hi,
I'm 16 going on 17 year old girl
My boyfriend wants me to go camping with him and his family for a few days my mother says its innapropiate
But we won't be sleeping in the same bed or anything like that.
Is it innapropiate ?
Inappropriateness like a lot of things is based on perception. As someone old enough to be your grandfather life has taught me that how someone perceives something does not make it right or wrong. Since they perceive it therefore it is. I will admit this is a little confusing.
Since your boyfriends parents will be there to chaperon; as you say you you will not be sleeping in the same bed. My perception of you going camping with your boyfriends parents is totally appropriate. If your tent camping you should not be sleeping in the same tent unless the entire family is sleeping in the same tent.
Your mothers perception of just what and how you will be camping and what the sleeping arrangements will be may be what is causing her to feel it is inappropriate. Try explaining in detail just what and how you will be camping. What the sleeping arrangements will be. Is there anyone besides you, his parents and your boyfriend who will be there.
The only way to change what your mother may be perceiving is to give her the full picture. The word "CAMPING" means different things to different people. My wife would never tent camp. To her camping means an RV of some type. So give your mother as much information as you can gather and maybe you can change her mind.
Well I got my period for the first time December 6th. Then I got my next one December 21. My next one came January 18th. Could I be developing a schesule for the 18th becauae my birthday is on June 19th and i really dont want it on my birthday. Also, my first and second periods were really light but my third was extremley heavy the first couple of days and then got lighter until it just ended. Could I always have heavy periods or is it just cause its only my third time?
I think you should ask this question of one the women on this site
16 / F / 5'7 / 117 lbs
(If that has any thing to do with it.)
Usually when I stand up I blackout for about 8-10 seconds, but I can still walk the path I'm going if I know it well. (Ex: From my bedroom to my staircase) But this past week it's gotten worse. It's to a point where when I stand up I black out & I get dizzy, so I'm forced to either just sit/lay down on whatever is closest, which usually happens to be the floor. I don't know what's causing it.
I'm not sure if it has anything to do with this past weekend, I was very sick with nausea which made me lose my appetite for two days, & really bad chest & lower stomach pains. I was also falling every time I stood up. But like I said, now I just have to sit down, I'm not collapsing anymore.
Sorry if it's long, I'm just worried.
It sounds like you are experiencing a drop in blood pressure. What is causing this could be a lot of things. What ever is causing this is serious and needs immediate doctors attention.
Please advice the adult you are with and have them call 911. You need to be ambulance transported to a hospital. Paramedics on the ambulance can evaluate you and start treatment en-route to the hospital. I am a volunteer with a fire department rescue squad and I believe this is the best way for you to get to the hospital.
Yes, if we are right and you are experiencing a drop in blood pressure, it is that serious. We are not doctors and even if we where it is impossible to diagnose and treat over the web or the phone. You need to see a doctor and the fastest way to do so is to call 911.
is there a way to have sex with a garuntee of not getting pregnant?
No form of birth control, including condom usage is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Condom usage and being on birth control is the best way to prevent pregnancy short of total abstinence.
Condoms serve one better purpose; they stop the spread of STDs. Not using condoms during sex means you are sleeping with every other sex partner, your partners has unprotected sex with. Your partner is also sleeping with every partner you have has unprotected sex with. Condom's prevent the spread of Stds and the HIV virus.
Unless you are in a long term monogamous relationship Had two negative blood tests you should not consider sex without the use of a condom.
My head is toatally messed up and I am really considering suicicide. Being paranoid and not being able to engage in conversations with people has been the main to reasons for it. I went and seen a counsilor about a year ago for help and I had to just get up and walk out of the room because she laughed at me which really made me feel worse. I really don't want to be here and want to end this live, I hate living in fear and being so stupid, the only reson that I'm still here is because of my brothers and sisters and mother and father, I know it would kill them, but one day I don't think that will stop me and I will just be selfish and End this live that I'm meant to be living. Please help me if you can please. I'm male and 31 years old
Suicide is never an answer or a solution. You need the right kind of help to fix what ever is wrong in your life.
You say "being paranoid and not being able to engage in conversations with people" is how you see yourself. Most people have a bit of paranoia in them and you appear to be somewhat introverted.
I consider myself to have raging paranoia even though I have expert medical opinion I am far from paranoid. What I have been dealing with is depression, with may be what you are suffering from Medication supervised by the right doctor and talk therapy with a good therapist have done wonders for me.
If as you are reading this you are feeling suicidal please pick up the phone and dial 911. Tell the call taken how you are feeling and ask for help. They will dispatch both the police and fire departments. The police are there to help not arrest you. They have to be there should the fire department find the doors locked and need to force their way into your home. The call taker will want to stay on the phone with you and ask you questions such as where in the house you are, if the doors are locked and so forth.
You can also go to the closest hospital emergency room to ask for help. If you are not actively suicidal at this time tell them you have been having suicidal thoughts or been planning to commit suicide. They will admit you to the ER and have a psychiatrist come to the ER to evaluate and treat you.
Please do not wait; either call 911 now or go to the hospital emergency room. There is help for you out there all you need to do is ask for it. Please don't judge yourself or the help out there by the counselor you first saw. There is better help to be had.
I have a father who's always mean to me. He finds reasons to yell at me -- for example, the trash isn't taken out or the dishes aren't washed. He isn't involved in my educational life at all. When my teachers request a conference with my parents, he almost never shows up. When I graduated from elementary school and middle school, he didn't come to either of the ceremonies.
I'll talk to my dad about these things sometimes, and he says he's sorry and the next day he'll buy me something to try and make it up to me. He can be really nice when he wants to be, but most of the time he's a mean person. He is always putting me down, calling me an idiot and saying I'm worthless and a good-for-nothing son. I really want to become friends with my father, but it seems he doesn't. What can I do?
I am old enough to be your grandfather and I have been where you find yourself to be now. There are many different reasons for fathers to be how they are to there children especially to their sons.
It may not be possible to be a friend with your father, he may feel that being your friend is not being a father. Some parents feel they cannot be both friend and parent to their children. This does not excuse missing milestone events in you life as those are part of parenting.
Obviously there is another problem, one you are not aware of or he does not want you to know about. That was the problem I faced through all of my childhood and most of my adult life. I then found out what the real problem he had was and it was as was the excuse given nothing of my doing. Yet I was always blamed and took the brunt of his anger.
Finale about 11 years ago I said enough was enough. If he wanted to have a relationship with me and my family he would have to come to us. I haven't heard from him since. A lot happened in the 11 years some good and some bad. Fact is he missed all of it especially the good. That's his problem and it will be your fathers problem.
There is nothing you can do to change this. This is how your father is. While you live in his house find away to peacefully coexist with him. Stop trying to please him as it is an unattainable goal that will continue to stress you out. As a teenager you have enough stressors you do not need a goal that is unattainable adding to your stress.
Later in life you can decide how much of your father you want to include in your life. Just remember nothing you have done is the cause of why your father treats you the way he does. This is important. There is some other reason for why your father is treating you as he does. Whatever that reason is it is not because of something you did or did not do. Pleas remember that.
Does a virgin girl get pregnant, without breaking her hymen?
I have a girlfriend and we played together she is a vergin, I just robbed my penis at her pussy only.
She is just scary not becoming pregnant, because her last period passed 30 days as usual and no sign of period yet.
Her concern alone could be the cause of missing her period. To answer your question, the answer is yes.
If any semen escaped your penis and found its way into her vagina, it is possible for her to become pregnant, Even if you did not ejaculate there is semen in your pre-ejaculate.
It only takes one sperm to fertilize and egg and it is a long swim from the tip of the vagina to and egg. Even when you ejaculate inside a vagina one of the reasons you do so as you do is to fire your semen as deep into her as possible to give as many sperm as chance to fertilize and egg. This doesn't mean the little guy up front is the swimmer that wins, it could be the guy at the rear.
If you want to keep from getting a girl pregnant, always wear a condom when near her vagina.
i tried unlocking my car with the keychain button and it didnt work. it's not the battery of the thing cause after i manually unlocked my car i hit the lock button on the door and it didnt go either.
does this mean my car died? or is there only a problem with the lock system?
(i havent tried starting my car yet)
I would try starting the car. If the car starts check the other accessories and see if they are working; lights, horn, radio, AC and anything else. See if the door locks with the switch on the door. If everything works the problem is the key fob.
If the car starts and some but not all the accessories work you most likely have a blown fuse. If the car doesn't start or crank at all you have a dead battery.
I'm trying to settle an argument with a friend.
He claimed a friend of his got a boob job in junior high. I called him an idiot for believing that.
Anyway, who's right? What plastic surgeon would agree to perform a boob job on a 13-year-old, even if she had parental consent, knowing that her body is still growing?
I can think of only one reason a doctor would do anything resembling a boob job on someone as young as 13. It would have to involve some form of mastectomy.
No reputable Plastic Surgeon would perform any type of elective Plastics on someone that young, this would include Rhinoplasty (nose jobs). Most Plastic Surgeons want their patient to have completed puberty and accompanying body changes before considering elective surgery.
I have been wanting to go to a nudist beach for years, with my husband of 36 years. We are both in our 50's yet fit and well. My husband has a very large penis and he feels that will make him uncomfortable. I have told him that nudists do and will not look or share, just get on with being nudists. How can I get him to feel comfortable nude in public? I have told him there will be plenty of other large penis on the beach and not to worry. Thank you in advance!
Bliz is right; Try going to a clothing optional nude beach or nude resort. What he will find is the people frown on those that stare. Nudist are not there to be gawked at. They are at the beach or resort to enjoy the sun and the activities in a naturalist environment.
I will caution you to the fact that your husband will most likely get an erection, new nudist usually do. The only thing I can tell you is that after he gets use to being nude with others this will not happen. Until then you might want to be prepared to find someplace (private) to help him with this.
I cant it anymore. Im 14 an i have had an oversized labia my entire life. realy no one gets it. Mine is huge. Not joking its the size of a golf ball. I cant swim because it looks wierd and i have to hide it between my legs in the dressing room.Not to mention it hurts when i go to sit down and accidently pinch it. I dont feal normal, I dont even feal like a girl because of it. Does anyone have this problem as bad as i do? or is it just me?
There has been a lot of girls writing of late about the size of their labia. I was about to tell you not to be concerned until I read the part of your labia causing you pain when you sit. This is not normal and requires medical attention.
You start by making an appointment with a gynecologist. As a 14 year old you can visit a doctor in complete privacy and confidentiality. This is the law. No doctor can tell your parents or anyone else what they have seen you for or treated you for without your permission. But, and there is always a but, should your doctor recommended surgical correction for this problem you will need parental permission as you are not old enough to consent to surgery. Sort of a hitch in the law.
My suggestion: You tell your mother what problem you are experiencing. While you may find it embarrassing to tell her about this your mother is also a women and has the same body parts as you do. She will understand your embarrassment and may find it a relief as she might not understand why you have not been doing some of the activities like swimming.
Ask your mother to make an appointment for you with her gynecologist and let her accompany you to the doctor. You can ask to see the doctor alone, although by law his nurse will be with you. Then you can have your mother join you for the consultation as to how and when to correct the problem.
I realize the problem is you have is painful to you. The corrective action, small out patient surgery itself will be painful for a few days as well. Once done and after a few days of rest the problem will have been corrected and you will in time forget it ever happened.
Hey
i dont know whats wrong with me.
ive gotten migraine on the left side of my skull down to my neck. and i ALWAYS get them, even from the littlest of noise. i have tablets from the doctor for that, but they keep on giving me the same one and ive had it for years!! ALSO, the scary bit, on my left side of my body. i get chest pains.. real bad chest pains, on the side of my chest. and most times its the left side of my chest,arm and just below the chest. it feels like a big stitch/cramp. and like pins and needles. all on the same side on my arm chest and just below chest. is it anything to worry about, the pain strikes so bad and it very sharp and feels like needles, but it only lasts for 15 seconds or so when it happens. and it happens quite often. im only 16! please help!!
Pain manifests itself in many different ways. I know as I suffer from chronic pain as a result of an auto accident. The orthopedic doctors thought it was a disk problem. By chance I happened to be referred to a neurosurgeon who found my pain was being caused by the SI Joints which had fractures from the accidents. As a result of this I have learned that family practice type doctors generally treat the obvious and do not go looking for the pickle in the herring barrel.
You do not say if you are seeing a specialist or if you are being treated by your family doctor. I would suggest you ask, if needed, to be referred to one or all of the following specialist. You should see a neuroSurgeon, An internal medicine specialist and a cardiologist. I'm including the cardiologist only because of your inclusion of symptoms on your left side.
If you happen to have a teaching hospital in you area or a Trauma hospital use their patient referral line to find these doctors. This is how I was referred to the neurosurgeon who properly diagnosed my injury. Turned out he was a well respected nationally ranked surgeon, an adjunct professor at the med school and the head of the Neuro Recovery unit for the Trauma recovery unit at the Trauma center. It does not get any better that that.
i am 13 years old, i want to get my cartdilage peirced on both ears, my mom will let me. But does she legally have to be with me? Can if i wanted to go to the mall with my friends and get it peirced there, with just them there? Do i need parent consent? Because i know u need parent consent to get your tragus peirced.
I'm sorry but until you are of legal age, with the exception of a confidential consultation with your medical doctor, eye doctor or dentist you need a parents consent for almost anything. At age 13 a Law called HIPPA kicks in to protect your medical privacy . In short the law says your doctors can only release information when they have your written consent and only to those you have consented to.
Suggestion for the piercing: Ask mom to go to the mall with you and your friends. Have her give her permission as to what she will approve and then ask her to leave you ad your friends alone while you select the jewelry and get the piercing.
Don't worry about your friends thinking less of you. If they are pierced they had it done either at a much younger age or had to have a parent with them too.
I'm not planning on breast reduction surgery. i had a 36c sup last year. i was 16. I am about to be 17 and i moved up to a double d cup size and just recently i'm starting to grow out of it. it's getting out of control. i had a c cup breast from age 11 to 16. that means something went wrong. could it be a high fat content diet? what are all the things i could do to reduce the size of my breasts?
excercises? food ? what ? please help!
First off I'm a guy who's wife had to under go breast surgery for health reasons. If your breasts size is not the result of weight gain: or losing weight has not caused your breast to go back to a smaller size. You need to consider some of the following before under going breast reduction surgery.
The most important thing to consider is that as part of breast reduction some surgeons may suggest implants to restore perkiness. Implants have to be changed, at least at the present time, every ten years.
Next is do you desire to breast feed your children. If so you need to discuss this with you surgeon. Most if not all reduction surgery requires the reposition of the nipple and areola. This will effect whether you can breast feed in the future.
When choosing a surgeon. While price is always a factor, cheap is not always good. Ask to see before and after pictures from other patients. Interview several Surgeons before selecting your doctor. Chose a surgeon certified by the College of Plastic Surgeons. This means they have past all the requirement to do Plastic Surgery. If they are only listed by the College of Plastic Surgeons it means they have yet to complete the course and fellowship.
You are only just 17 do not be surprised or upset if a surgeon suggests or even refuses to do your surgery until you are older. In fact any of the Surgeons that do suggest this or just plain refuse are the ones you want to choose from. At 17 you are still growing. Your body is still changing. You are still experiencing the effects of puberty. These doctors may feel, after examining and talking to you, that surgery is best delayed until you are older and puberty is no longer a factor. Puberty can effect a person up through age 21.
I'm not a doctor but common sense tells me; that if the growth spurt you have experienced with your breast is not a result of weight gain, the only other logical answer is the effects of puberty.
14/ f
So, I've been through a lot. Ive been abused by my step mom, i haven seen my real momsince my 7th birthday (court order) because she has schitzofrania, and i was raped by my bioligical mothers boyfriend from age 4-7. Now i see a sycologist, but i feel no change. I feel worthless and horrible, and i feel any guy can take advantage of me because i already feel dirty because i was raped.
& i have no idea how to fix this.
I am still a virgin but i have done everything else, because i feel as if i was taken advantage of already so it doesn't matter anymore. Which sounds like an excuse but i dont know how to totally explain it. Can someone help me think of a way to stay away from guys and just hang out with my friends that are girls and be happy like a normal teenager? and where i can get my focus back onto school?
I would like you to contact an organization called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They have a website:http://www.rainn.org/. They also operate a 24/7 telephone hotline 1-800-656-HOPE. The call takers are trained to help you find the right people in your hometown who can help you get out of the situation you are in.
You may need the help of other doctors and they have people who can put you in contact with doctors specially trained to help abused and raped women. I can also see in your righting that you are also most likely feeling depressed and rightfully so. RAINNS Network can assist you in finding treatment for this as well. By contacting RAINN you will be helped to find the answer to your final question to us.
I have a question for you: Does your father know of your step-mothers abuse of you? If not you need to make him aware of what is happening to you. If for some reason you are afraid to or your father approves of what your step-mother is doing then contact RAINN ASAP.
One of the reasons I am pushing for you to contact RAINN is that there is a fine line between harsh discipline and abuse. Given the background you have supplied if you were to report the abuse to a teacher or the police there may be some question as to if this is really abuse. RAINN and the people you will be referred to will help you with this and help you with reporting any abuse. Most importantly they will help you get out from under your step-moms abuse.
I'm 16, and my parents are separated. My father lives in Saudi Arabia, while my mom and the rest of the family including me live in Minnesota. I lived in Saudi since birth until the age of 13 half way through my school year dad had a fight with my sister who was living with me there at the time and he shipped us off to mom. So I lived in MN for another year, then went back because I didn't like it in MN. So I went back for about 10 months and and came back to the states to be with mom. And now I've been living here for about 2 years and I go back to visit there every winter last winter was okay, but when I visited there this winter I felt like I belonged. I enjoyed my self too much, more than normal. I'm on depression pills and when I went back i didn't need the pills I was perfectly fine, but the issue is when I came back my mom noticed a dramatic shift in my behavior. At first I was bubbly and giggly and having fun. The next day, however, was when the dramatic shift happened. I switched in one day. Does that explain how much I hate Minnesota? It took me one day to go back into depression. And mom refuses to understand. I have now been back for 3 days, and I'm practically on the floor with unhappiness. At first my mom tried to be helpful, but then she switched it and made it about her. I was in my room last night crying, because I had been looking at pictures from home earlier that day. And my mom had bought me a keyboard for Christmas and I wanted to open the box, so I called her from upstairs to help me but she didn't come. So for some reason I balled, and I was on the floor. And she came 20 minutes later and saw me unhappy and began to cry her self, telling me she doesn't know what to do with me and that it was selfish of her to keep me here telling me she was going to talk to my dad and tell him to take me back, but he doesn't want that he wants me to stay here and study. But I told her not to tell him or talk to him about it, and that I would eventually adapt like I had before. But I wanted to miss school the next day, because there was no way I'd be able to function properly with my mind all over the place. But she wouldn't have it because if I stayed home she would have to call them and give them an excuse for my absence, and she was embarrassed. She didn't want to look irresponsible and let her daughter stay home another day. So the next day she comes to me in the morning and tried to get me to get up and go and she got to a point where she started to yell, so I told her do you enjoy being mean? and she flipped and yelled and told me I'll just have your dad call the school then and he'll deal with you. And she wasn't finished she texted me after she left the room and said "I have to tell your dad you're refusing to go to school since he's the only parent you listen to." And another text " He can call your school and excuse your absence ~ I wont" and another "you have to respect me ~ you don't" All this because I told her to stop being mean, she switched the whole situation and made it about her. And she knows my father is a lunatic about discipline and that he'd hate this information. I only tell her those things because she'll listen, he wont. And now she's giving me the silent treatment and texting me rather then coming and speaking to me like an adult and like a mother. I tried to go to my brothers to go and relax bit and get my mind off things, but she prevented me. And my dad called and she saw me crying on the phone with him and she told me to tell him about a trip I wanted to take. It's almost like she's jealous of him that I'd rather be there then here and she's trying to ruin the relationship I have with him. So I stormed off outraged at how she was behaving. And now she saw my status on Facebook which says "I'd rather be anywhere but here." And she said "why don't you go to your dad then", I said "I can't he doesn't want me". Then she says "go to your brother and live with him then", then I said "no one wants me", then she said "you don't know what you want"
Then I said "I want to die" then she says "me too"
and then she tells me "it's me you hate not this place" Do you see how she's switching the whole situation? and how it's about her now?
Please tell me what to do. Am I wrong? what am I doing? What do I do in this situation? because obviously my mom not suited to give people advice.
Someone please help me.
If you are on anti-depression medication you should be monitored by a doctor preferably a psychiatrist not your family doctor. You should also be seeing a psychologist for talk therapy.
Being the child of divorced parents, especially of parents of your ethnicity, can be very stress full. Especially when you are torn from a place you have called home just when entering your formative years.
From what you have written about your mother I would say she is also depressed and rightfully so. Neither of you can help the way you are. The medication and counseling can and will help you. You can help your mother by trying to understand how dealing with you and your depression, the divorce and whatever else is causing her to be depressed.
You need to try and get your mother to see a doctor and be screened for depression and then into talk therapy. Once the two of you are in therapy one or both of the therapists may offer a session or more of joint therapy to help you work out the problems you two have.
I'm sure this is not the answer you are looking for. I'M just as sure this is the solution that is best to make things better between you and your mom.
My parents have been married for 31 years. My Dad is a jerk, cheated on my mom several times early in the marriage, was an alcoholic & is now just plain mean to my mom. He treates her like a slave. My dad has been going outside on the patio, smoking cigars & playing online poker/games for over 2 years now. Just recently my sister & I were sitting on the sofa watching TV. She turned around & saw that my dad had a small window up with porn on it. My mom is a Christian & they both go to church. I KNOW she wont be okay with this especially because she meets all of his "physical needs" when every he wants. I have been very convicted about this & think I should tell her. Please give me your advice. Thanks.
I am old enough to be your grandfather, so I am going to offer some grandfatherly advice to you.
Should you decide to tell you mother about your fathers pornography habit, you will probably be telling her something she already knows and reconciled with. You parents religious convictions may not be in total sync but they have been married for 31 years. I'm fairly certain your fathers viewing of pornography on the Internet in video's or reading magazines such as Playboy is not something he just started. It is something that you just learned about that he is doing.
You obviously are acutely aware of you mothers religious convictions toward pornography and may have your own convictions on pornography. Your father obviously does not stand by the same convictions you and your mother have; this is not wrong on his part. Most pornography is legal to view and possess. So there is nothing wrong with this either.
What is wrong and something you have to come to terms with for yourself is do you wish to force your morality on your father. This of course would mean you agree with your mother that viewing porn is an affront to god.
As I said; I believe your mother after 31 years of marriage already knows of your fathers viewing of pornography and decided not to force her morality on him. As long as he view in private and does not force your mother to view this with him she may have decided to look the other way on this issue. For to force her morality on your father is also an affront
Okay so, not the easiest topic to approach, but I figured I'd give it a shot.
I've been having sex with my now-boyfriend (who's 26) for two, going on roughly three months. He's never initiated anything to begin with, and I've always felt so awkward doing it myself. I'm pretty submissive in the bedroom, so this is a new behavior to me.
However, this isn't the core issue. What I feel that is, is a lack of communication/understanding, or just plain out carelessness, in general. Lately our sex life has taken a halt, and when we are intimate it's not much of a session, or any quality/effort coming from his end, to be crass. He has issues with lasting (five minutes is pretty typical - and he asks if I cum quite often, in which I say no, honestly) I've asked him if he feels as if things have changed (I meant emotionally between us, and he took it as me asking if my anatomy changed -- and responds with, "you're not as tight as when we first had sex, no." Uhm, what?
Needless to say, it left me speechless and then dumbfounded by the utter stupidity. I've been with several people before him, one of which I had sex with nearly every day, for two years, and nothing changed. And at 19 years old, I'm doubting much CAN change unless I feel like giving birth sometime soon.
Anyway. He went onto say that I'm still "tight" and we have "good sex" just things aren't the "same" as the first time down there. I'm not sure how to even take these comments, or how to get it through his head that the vagina is a muscle that doesn't alter every time you have sex or place an object in it. Has anyone else ever dealt with this/and how DO you deal with it?
I'm old enough to be your grandfather . Your question is one of the reasons I joined this forum, to help people like you and your boyfriend by answering questions such as these with straight answers as best as I can.
Your 19 and your boyfriend is 26 making for a 7 year difference in age. He should be the more experienced one in the bedroom. It is quite possible he is not; he may have been a late bloomer or more of the nerdy type in his teen years.
You haven't said what his sexual experience is; do you know how many partners he has had or when he first had sexual experience? The 40 year old virgin is not just a movie title. There are men and women out there who have remained virgins well into their 20's and thirty's.
Sex between two consenting adults is a beautiful thing. There also as you stated a need for communication; generally this is how partners find out each others likes and dislikes. In some cases you may need to find out how experienced your partner is.
When I was your age our parents passed a book around the neighborhood titled "From Acorns Grow Trees". It said very little about sex other than were babies come from and how they are made. To think that today someone your age or your boyfriends age would have little knowledge of sex is almost unthinkable, but it does happen. There are parents out there that are very strict and protective almost to the point of cloistering their children.
Suggestion: You are going to have to take the lead in opening up the lines of communications with him if this relationship is something you want to see continue to grow.
You start by telling him what or how much he means to you. You follow that up with what you like about your relationship. Then you tell him that your bedroom relationship is failing and this is an area that is important to you. You could go on to say that if he wasn't important to you, you could just let the relationship fail and move on. But you don't want to do that. You want to help. If he is still with you at this point you now ask the questions about his past experiences, when he first had sex.? What he likes and doesn't like? At the same time you tell him what you like or don't like. Do you need more foreplay or less foreplay. Are you more clitoral or vaginal? What positions you like. You want him to initiate sex more often and be more demonstrative in the bedroom and what that means. Do you like oral sex or anal sex? What does he like?
As for him coming to soon during sex: Try getting him off during foreplay. At 26 he is young enough where you should be able to arouse him again for a 2nd go in short order. There are also techniques that you can search the web for that will show you how to teach him self control.
Last but not least the two of you can visit a sex therapist together. Don't laugh or poo poo this idea. You would be surprised at the number of people that visit a sex therapist, but married and unmarried couples. You tell the therapist your problems and they discus solutions and have you co home and try something. Then you come back and report on the outcome.
I hope something of what I've written you find useful.
Hello my husband is in Afghanistan and this is going to be our first valentines day apart. I'm clueless on what i should send him for valentines day. I want to send him something cute and a gift but he's very picky and only really likes certain things. I know im going to send him a card with my perfume on it, a box of chocolates but i think there should be something more but i have no idea what. Any suggestions? Thanks
I too would like to add my thanks for your husbands service and to you for the sacrifice that you are making.
Having served in the military myself so many years ago the one thing I missed was life back home. I missed hearing peoples voices. Yes we had tape recorders but they were expensive. Today many people have video recorders and many people have laptops. Even if your husband does not have a laptop I'm sure someone in his company does.
What I'm suggesting is, if you do not own one rent a video CD Camera, and make a recording of what your typical day is back home. Of course if you have children makes sure they are featured prominently in the video. If his parents are alive and live close by make sure you include them as well. Again if you have children include pictures of tucking them into bed and them include a very private message to him as to how much you miss him and what is waiting for him when he gets home.
It may not seem like much but it may mean lot to him. You can always send him a care package from home. Letters are just words on a piece of paper a video takes those same words and puts a face and action to them. What may seem like just another boring day to you without your husband could mean a whole lot to him especially if it includes people and places he cherishes the most.
17/f
Does listening to your gut instinct really work?
I agree with blwinteler. We call it gut instinct, but really it is our common sense kicking in telling us something is not as it seems. This is either learned through life lessons,from observations or things we have heard about. More often than not our instincts are correct.
When you or we are not sure of something our instincts kick in, sort of a fail safe device designed to caution us in many types of situations that could cause us harm. There are times, and this is usually the exception, where our instincts will tell us to do something our common sense is saying we should walk away from. When this happens it can become confusing as we have come to respect our (gut) instinct to keep us safe.
I have generally found this to happen when whatever I am dealing with is not something of my own dealing but something that has to do with someone I am close to, such as a friend. An example would be a close friend has told you there are going to defy their parent and do something you know is dangerous. You want to keep that friend as a friend but saying something to their parents would cause you to lose that friend. What do you do. Your gut is telling you to do what you need to do to keep your friend safe while your brain is telling you to stray quiet. This is a time to follow your gut. I would say 99% of the time your gut, your fail safe device is going to right.