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I just need help..
14/ f
So, I've been through a lot. Ive been abused by my step mom, i haven seen my real momsince my 7th birthday (court order) because she has schitzofrania, and i was raped by my bioligical mothers boyfriend from age 4-7. Now i see a sycologist, but i feel no change. I feel worthless and horrible, and i feel any guy can take advantage of me because i already feel dirty because i was raped.
& i have no idea how to fix this.
I am still a virgin but i have done everything else, because i feel as if i was taken advantage of already so it doesn't matter anymore. Which sounds like an excuse but i dont know how to totally explain it. Can someone help me think of a way to stay away from guys and just hang out with my friends that are girls and be happy like a normal teenager? and where i can get my focus back onto school?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
the best advice is top pray, and ask God for strenght. Ask him to help you in your situation and to give you a hand when you are falling down. if you open your heart to him, he is willing to answer and is ready to recieve you because he wants to help you.
I am sorry for everything that has happened to you and i hope you can get through it all with the help of God in heaven....
with luck
sarline
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I think you need to open up more to the professionals around you. Don't keep everything bottled up inside of you. Let them hear every thought in your head. And when they say something you think should be otherwise then dont be afraid to speak out. The more you open upto them the more they can help you.
You also need to learn how to interact with males again. They are a part of everyday life. Not to mention this shouldn't prohibit you from ever having a future relationship with a man. You need to learn from experience that there are many bad apples and evils in this world but that sometimes, some men are actually worth taking that leap of faith for.
YOu need to put in as much effort, if not more, into your own care and progress as possible as well as re-learning how to do handle your feelings, different situations and learning other vital social skills. As you progress you will improve in all areas including focus and motivation which will aid you in getting back into mainstream education and into that normal life you want so badly and rightfully deserve.
Start making goals, working on every and all challenges you face and working out yourself, your past and how to move forward.
Five years ago - at your age - i was in the same space as you. Depressed, suicidal and in an inpatient hospital. I've seen many come back from the worst of human atrocities and have the lives they've dreamed of and I, myself, am my own miracle. Have faith in yourself. You are worth it.
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all i can say is just do the best u can in school and try to make the best of everything i no wht ur going through and
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all you can do is make the best if any situation that you go through i know it's tough but stay in there. so far as the guy thing you gotta find other things to do be active with friends or simply try out for after school things,hope things get better for you ;)
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You just have to be strong you are just 14 you are young and don't need a boyfriend make it a choice. Dont date guys you have to strength your self. Such as make your self feel pretty and in charge. get up bright and early stretch then go for a jog or a run. to start your day. Dont date and do not put your self in a situation were you are alone with a guy. if a guy asks you on a date just explain to him you arnt looking for a relationship right now but maybe we can go out with a group of friends. school work is you just have to find the best way to get your focus on it just think in your head its part of making your life better think about that day you are going to ge to graduate high school!
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with the guy thing, only you can help yourself. you need to realize that just because something traumatic happened to you, you are not devalued or worthless. but hookin up & usin boys as a momentary esteem boost will only make you feel more worthless in the end. youre a young girl, you need to change this as soon as you can & break this cycle.
like the others have said, if youre house where youre abused, you need to report it. its unacceptable & no one should live that way. contact RAINN like he said, so you can be helped. you need to be selfish at this point & do whats best for you.
if you ever need to talk, my inbox is open.
I hope you take all of our advice to heart.
x sweeethoney
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I would like you to contact an organization called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They have a website:[Link](Mouse over link to see full location). They also operate a 24/7 telephone hotline 1-800-656-HOPE. The call takers are trained to help you find the right people in your hometown who can help you get out of the situation you are in.
You may need the help of other doctors and they have people who can put you in contact with doctors specially trained to help abused and raped women. I can also see in your righting that you are also most likely feeling depressed and rightfully so. RAINNS Network can assist you in finding treatment for this as well. By contacting RAINN you will be helped to find the answer to your final question to us.
I have a question for you: Does your father know of your step-mothers abuse of you? If not you need to make him aware of what is happening to you. If for some reason you are afraid to or your father approves of what your step-mother is doing then contact RAINN ASAP.
One of the reasons I am pushing for you to contact RAINN is that there is a fine line between harsh discipline and abuse. Given the background you have supplied if you were to report the abuse to a teacher or the police there may be some question as to if this is really abuse. RAINN and the people you will be referred to will help you with this and help you with reporting any abuse. Most importantly they will help you get out from under your step-moms abuse.
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First of all I'm sorry
If you are currently with your step mother and she is still abusing you, You need to report it. Tell a school guidance counselor or an adult that you trust. People who have been raped, It takes years and years of therapy. No matter how much you want to forget it will always be there and somehow you have to find it within yourself to overcome the past and conquer it. The first step of moving on is to focus on YOU. Keep yourself busy, Keep seeing your therapist and most of all keep hanging out with your friends. You must realize that what happened is NOT your fault. Life can be great, You have to put your mind set in another place and try to think of the positive. Keep attending school and spend time with friends use that as your focus to prove yourself. NO guy can take advantage you, Not anymore. It is not expected of you to hang around guys, Take time to heal yourself. Right now focus on you. If you need to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. You can even talk to a guidance counselor at school, Talking helps.
"You have a very powerful mind that can make anything happen as long as you keep yourself centered."
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