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What do I do? Depressed over living situation?
I'm 16, and my parents are separated. My father lives in Saudi Arabia, while my mom and the rest of the family including me live in Minnesota. I lived in Saudi since birth until the age of 13 half way through my school year dad had a fight with my sister who was living with me there at the time and he shipped us off to mom. So I lived in MN for another year, then went back because I didn't like it in MN. So I went back for about 10 months and and came back to the states to be with mom. And now I've been living here for about 2 years and I go back to visit there every winter last winter was okay, but when I visited there this winter I felt like I belonged. I enjoyed my self too much, more than normal. I'm on depression pills and when I went back i didn't need the pills I was perfectly fine, but the issue is when I came back my mom noticed a dramatic shift in my behavior. At first I was bubbly and giggly and having fun. The next day, however, was when the dramatic shift happened. I switched in one day. Does that explain how much I hate Minnesota? It took me one day to go back into depression. And mom refuses to understand. I have now been back for 3 days, and I'm practically on the floor with unhappiness. At first my mom tried to be helpful, but then she switched it and made it about her. I was in my room last night crying, because I had been looking at pictures from home earlier that day. And my mom had bought me a keyboard for Christmas and I wanted to open the box, so I called her from upstairs to help me but she didn't come. So for some reason I balled, and I was on the floor. And she came 20 minutes later and saw me unhappy and began to cry her self, telling me she doesn't know what to do with me and that it was selfish of her to keep me here telling me she was going to talk to my dad and tell him to take me back, but he doesn't want that he wants me to stay here and study. But I told her not to tell him or talk to him about it, and that I would eventually adapt like I had before. But I wanted to miss school the next day, because there was no way I'd be able to function properly with my mind all over the place. But she wouldn't have it because if I stayed home she would have to call them and give them an excuse for my absence, and she was embarrassed. She didn't want to look irresponsible and let her daughter stay home another day. So the next day she comes to me in the morning and tried to get me to get up and go and she got to a point where she started to yell, so I told her do you enjoy being mean? and she flipped and yelled and told me I'll just have your dad call the school then and he'll deal with you. And she wasn't finished she texted me after she left the room and said "I have to tell your dad you're refusing to go to school since he's the only parent you listen to." And another text " He can call your school and excuse your absence ~ I wont" and another "you have to respect me ~ you don't" All this because I told her to stop being mean, she switched the whole situation and made it about her. And she knows my father is a lunatic about discipline and that he'd hate this information. I only tell her those things because she'll listen, he wont. And now she's giving me the silent treatment and texting me rather then coming and speaking to me like an adult and like a mother. I tried to go to my brothers to go and relax bit and get my mind off things, but she prevented me. And my dad called and she saw me crying on the phone with him and she told me to tell him about a trip I wanted to take. It's almost like she's jealous of him that I'd rather be there then here and she's trying to ruin the relationship I have with him. So I stormed off outraged at how she was behaving. And now she saw my status on Facebook which says "I'd rather be anywhere but here." And she said "why don't you go to your dad then", I said "I can't he doesn't want me". Then she says "go to your brother and live with him then", then I said "no one wants me", then she said "you don't know what you want"
Then I said "I want to die" then she says "me too"
and then she tells me "it's me you hate not this place" Do you see how she's switching the whole situation? and how it's about her now?
Please tell me what to do. Am I wrong? what am I doing? What do I do in this situation? because obviously my mom not suited to give people advice.
Someone please help me.
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If you are on anti-depression medication you should be monitored by a doctor preferably a psychiatrist not your family doctor. You should also be seeing a psychologist for talk therapy.
Being the child of divorced parents, especially of parents of your ethnicity, can be very stress full. Especially when you are torn from a place you have called home just when entering your formative years.
From what you have written about your mother I would say she is also depressed and rightfully so. Neither of you can help the way you are. The medication and counseling can and will help you. You can help your mother by trying to understand how dealing with you and your depression, the divorce and whatever else is causing her to be depressed.
You need to try and get your mother to see a doctor and be screened for depression and then into talk therapy. Once the two of you are in therapy one or both of the therapists may offer a session or more of joint therapy to help you work out the problems you two have.
I'm sure this is not the answer you are looking for. I'M just as sure this is the solution that is best to make things better between you and your mom.
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