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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Would you consider a sixteen year old girl that is 5'6 and 110 pounds to be "small"?? Because I'm often told that I am "tiny" which, I am quite thing and I have little feet and hands but I feel like I'm taller than average...? Am I?
Thank you for writing back. We do not always receive feedback and are left to wonder about if are advice was helpful or even read. I was concerned, which is why I answered the way I did. I'm glad to hear your doctor is comfortable with your weight and is monitoring your health.
Sixteen is a wonderful time of life especially for a young women. I'm glad to hear you are healthy so you can enjoy this time. One other thing; never worry about what other people say. There is only one person you have to be better than and that is the person you are today. If you adopt that as a motto you will go far in life.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
For the most part I agree with DearAbby92. Your height is right in the top of the average range while your weight is at or below what may be consider your optimum weight range.
I would be more concerned with your weight than your height. According to the attached weight chart you are 7Lbs below the low end of the ideal weight spectrum for your height. Understand that this is an average and does not factor in individual BMI or frame size.
http://www.rush.edu/rumc/page-1108048103230.html
The best person to ask about your weight is your family doctor. Being underweight is just a bad as being overweight.
In my view you do not fit the definition of tiny. You more closely fit the definition of Petite.
I would ask that you do one thing which is to check in with your family doctor about your weight. Being 7Lbs underweight may not sound like much. Your doctor can make a more educated evaluation of your weight than I can as all I can do is evaluate height and weight against a chart. Your doctor can do so based on those two factors plus his/her overall knowledge of you.
If there is a need for you to put on a few pounds it may simply be a matter of seeing a nutritionist or dietitian for proper meal or diet planning.
Can u get pregant by a 14 years old boy?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
The short answer to your question is yes.
Once a boy starts through puberty he starts producing sperm. The same is true with a girl; once she starts through puberty her eggs mature and she can become pregnant.
Grandfatherly note: 14 years of age is way to young to be experimenting with sexual intercourse. While your bodies may have matured to the point that they are ready, you as a person do not have the maturity to handle the possible consequences of sexual intercourse. I urge you to reconsider and refrain from intercourse. There are other just as satisfying ways of satisfying your sexual needs without intercourse.
If you want more information on the how or what those ways are; please write back to me.
I'm 17 turning 18 and i'm a girl.
Whenever there is a silence in the house, my parents always bring up the subject about my future, they always say stuff like 'what will you do when you grow up'. When i tell them i do not know, or i can't decide, my dad just said that i'm some sort of highschool dropout even though i get Bs or As, sometimes Cs in my classes. They're always saying stuff like: you're such a disappointment, can't you do anything right?, why can't you care about your future?, you are so ungrateful, etc. They never praise me, and if i do manage to get a good grade average, they say stuff like: you better keep it this way, why can't it be like this all the time?
One of the worst things is that my mom puts words in my mouth, she rants on and on about how her friend's daughters are so successful yet i'm not. And whenever i do something wrong i get yelled at for about an hour about it. And sometimes my mom says stuff like: maybe i should just leave and never come back, i'm so tired of you, you make me miserable.
What should i do? I'm afraid to stand up to them because they might kick me out. Thanks to their ranting and insults, i actually have a phobia of being wrong. I always expect someone to lash out at me or something. Sometimes i think they don't know how much to hurts for them to say these things about me. They even talk behind my back even if i'm there in the same room. Please help!
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
There is usually more to these types of stories than what is being written. That's the wisdom and age thing talking.
Based just on what you have written; you could say you are being mentally abused by your parents. Are they aware they are doing this? Are they even doing this on purpose to be mean, spiteful and hurtful? Fact is I doubt it, it is probably a result of the way they were brought up. Doesn't make it right, doesn't make it any less hurtful.
What worries me the most though about what you have written is the talk of having a phobia of being wrong. Phobias' have a way of being all consuming if not addressed. In addressing your phobia we will hopefully address the other problems which are the cause of the phobia.
Lets start with your supposed lack of direction in life: Your not alone in not knowing what you want to do after High School. Just about 50% of all graduates lack a clear and concise path as to their future. The reasons for this are not material at this time just the fact that you are not alone or abnormal is what counts.
The largest percentage of this group will try out the local community college. They do so for a variety of reasons, stemming from grade improvement to the opportunity to experience college life on the cheap so to speak. Mostly this buys time to find direction.
All of us mature at different rates. Just because we are a certain age and graduate high school does not mean we are ready or have the maturity to take he next step An analogy would be something like baking a cake: Some cakes bake just as the directions on the box say they will; others need to back in the oven for a few more minutes. Not the greatest of descriptions but it works.
As parents we all want what is best for our children. Some of us plan our children's lives out for them and if they don't achieve our plan it is their failure not areas. This is wrong on all counts. No one likes to fail, children do not like to fail their parents. Parents hate to fail there children. What is wrong is for a parent to blame a child for a parents failure, something that may be at work here; I don't know so I can't say.
I do not believe you have failed your parents, I believe your parents may have failed you and are blaming you.
What I would like you to do is have a talk with your school guidance counselor. I would like you to tell him/her just what you have written to us with emphasis on your growing phobia. Your school guidance counselor should know you better than I do and will know the best way to help you.
I have two areas that you need to ask for specific help with.
First and foremost is the phobia. This needs to be addressed before it becomes all encompassing.
Second: Id talk to your counselor about what classes at the local community college that might interest you. It may be you have the basic preparation for introduction to certain subjects that you can forgo the prereqs the first semester and get directly into the meat of a subject which you will find much more interesting than your high school liberal arts subjects.
Hopefully this will also get mom and dad off your back as it will show them you are at least looking for direction
Good luck
Hi, I'm M/15. I was wondering what it's like to be mechanical engineer, what is a day of work like? Who do they work for? Are they given a certain project or task by a boss? Do they work in Labs? offices? Facilities? How do they get their jobs? Is there competition? Is it really hard to get a mechanical engineering job? What's the youngest you can be to have an engineering job? I'm interested in Engineering. What if you're not too skilled at Math but have good ideas & stuff?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
This website should be able to help you: http://www.asme.org/
asme is the American Society of Mechanical Engineers. Through the group page hopefully you will find a chapter in your area that will be helpful to you.
It is not often that we are asked this type of question, which is a good question, one I enjoy answering. When I do answer these questions I usually give the following advise. Some of the advise you can act upon know. The rest will have to wait until your 16 and can apply for working papers as even an unpaid internship requires working papers.
There are many different type of engineers each of which have different facets to the work they do. Some engineers work strictly in design and never leave the office. Others work in design and installation working both with the design team and in the field with the installers or builders.
If your goal is to be a mechanical engineer your right to question what the career entails and the different facets of the career. The best way to do this is to contact a mechanical engineering firm in your area.
You could do this by phone or by letter. For this particular career and what I am going to suggest a letter be the first form of contact.
Here is how you go about this: Using the website I gave you look at the member ship listing for the group in your area. Do some research on the members and try to find a medium to large firm in your are. If the President of the firm is listed that is the person you want to write to. If the President is not listed you should call the firm and ask who the President is. You will probably be asked why you want this information. Be truthful and explain your a student interested in a career in Mechanical engineering and would like to write to this person with some question you have. This should get you the proper contact information for them.
Next you want to write a proper business letter; templates are available on MS word. List as you have written here what your questions are. You might want to have your English teacher review the letter before mailing, but that's options. In the letter ask if it is possible and how old you must be to intern with their company or if it is possible to job follow/shadow for a day or two.
I have had a successful career in sales by asking people to teach me about their business. This essentially is what you are asking them to do for you. Most all of us are proud of what we have accomplished and like to show what we have accomplished to others. We also like to teach. You are asking them to teach you about your career choice. Unless I am very wrong or you have chosen a firm that is engaged in projects where you would be in danger if you job followed in the field, I see no reason anyone would turn down a request to be taught about their chosen career.
Good luck and thanks for writing
I'm 16/f and I'm going to have sex but I obviously want to be safe. I know I should use condoms but I know it would be better for me to be on birth control right? It's just, I don't know if I can without my parents getting involved?
I live in California if that helps any. I mean it's gonna happen so telling me not to isn't really gonna help. So is there any way I could get birth control?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
At 13 years of age, by law, you have medical confidentiality. Meaning you can go to her doctor or someplace like Planned Parenthood and receive birth control.
The law allows for you to visit a doctor or clinic in total confidentiality, meaning no one, not the doctors or the nurses can tell your mother the reason for your visit without your written release of information. The law is called HIPPA, Health Information Personal Act Privacy. This law was passed for a number of reasons one of which was to ensure that women like you could seek proper medical care.
At a Planned Parenthood clinic or any other women's health clinic, they will exam you, make sure you’re not already pregnant and prescribe a proper form of birth control for you.
The clinics that offer these services are Planned Parenthood clinics and any clinic that offers abortions. Clinics that do not offer abortions often are anti-abortion rights clinics; many of which also do not believe in birth control as well. So make sure you choose the right clinic.
The website below is one I often recommend to women who write to us for advice on first time sex. I think you will benefit from viewing this site.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
I am a seventeen year old girl and just started fingerin myself after being with my boyfriend for two months. The other day when i was fingering myself, i had popped my own cherry. My mom doesn't know i finger myself let alone that i popped my cherry the other day. I've always been a good girl and its not myself to do there type of things. i think that when i tell her its going to hurt her feeling and she'll be ashame of me. How do i tell her that i popped my cherry and started fingering myself just because of this boyfriend i have now.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Let me start by saying masturbation is totally normal. Most teenagers masturbate, be they boys or girl, to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the hormonal changes brought on by puberty. A recent report relates that as many as 90% of the population masturbate. Now this would include adults as well as teenagers. This would include such acts as mutual masturbation, hand jobs, fingering and oral sex. One could define masturbation or mutual masturbation as any sexual activity other than intercourse. Masturbation is a natural way to relive this tension. Most of what is done during foreplay is a form of mutual masturbation.
Most religions including the Catholic Church condone masturbation; if this is so why do parents and church elders tell children it is wrong to masturbate? The only reason I can think of is the pleasure received from masturbating leads to wanting the pleasure of actual intercourse. In a sense there is a double standard here. As mutual and some people even use single masturbation as a form of foreplay, adults are telling children that something they do on a regular basis is wrong. Well if it is wrong or sinful for the children, would it not be wrong for the adults.
What my wife and I told our children is that masturbation or mutual masturbation is a safe way to satisfy desire without the chance of anyone getting pregnant. There is nothing dirty or disgusting about masturbation; it is a safe way to satisfy a natural urge. The only time masturbation is wrong is when the urge to masturbate precludes doing everything else.
Telling your mother you masturbate is entirely up to you. From my perspective masturbation is a very private and personal act of sexual satisfaction. While I condone the practice and even suggested it to my children I did not need to know when and if they masturbated. My preference for my children to masturbate rather than have sexual intercourse was mainly a personal one. Masturbation would not result in me having to deal with someone becoming pregnant.
I was recently told by my doctors after an ultra-sound that I had a cyst on my left ovary, so they perscribed a birth control called Nortrel. I've been on it for a while. Recently, maybe a week ago? I've been vomiting a lot and I grow easily nauseous. I've also been having extremely bad pains on my left side down in that area. It feels kind of weird, like an achy pain and it hurts to get up sometimes. And I just sat down a while ago and that part of my side made a weird noise. I can't exactly explain it and it feels just a bit tingly.
Also, when I was six and seven, I had two hernias and I had surgery for them. I'm wondering if maybe that had something to do with it? Because I normally don't exercise and I've been trying to lately, jumping on the trampoline and stretching...
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
The fact is none of us are doctors and cannot and should not be making diagnoses. What I do know is what you have explained sounds extremely abnormal; to the extent that I would suggest you see a doctor immediately.
It is possible the cyst has grown and is getting ready to rupture. It is also possible that what looked like a cysts may have been something else that was too early to diagnose at that stage. Like I said I am not a doctor, what pops into my mind are things like ectopic pregnancy and tumors.
You don't say how old you are but if you plan on having children in later life you need to have this issue addressed. I would suggest you go to a hospital emergency room and have a staff gynecologist look at you.
If you still live at home with your parents this is something you need to tell you parents about. If it is an ectopic pregnancy they will not know about it unless you tell them. By law you have medical privacy and confidentiality. Meaning mom may not be in the room while your examined, unless you want her there, and the doctor cannot tell mom you do not give him/her permission to tell them. The law is called HIPPA and under that law no medical professional, which would include emt's, Paramedics, Nurses and anyone having access to you medical records can release information without your written consent.
With this in mind I believe the the best thing for you, considering what you have written, is to see a doctor today. If this means going to a hospital ER then do so.
I am 25 and 5 months ago I had my second child (20 months apart from my first one). I am breastfeeding, and I have noticed my period has been really off and weird. But I also noticed that I cannot get aroused at all..and even if I try masturbating alone I can never reach a climax...It is very frustrating for both me and my husband.
Is this normal? and is there anything I can do to fix this??
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
There are a few questions I would have liked answered before I tackle this question, though I think I know the answer without them.
Your 25 years old with one infant and the other child being still an infant or a toddler. On top of caring for these two children it is very possible you work outside the home as well. You still must keep up the home, do laundry and cook the meals. Even if you husband shares this work load to some extent, this is a lot of work for one person.
The most likely answer is you are just plain tired. It is hard to become aroused when you are tired, then add to that the fact that with two young children at home; regardless of how much you may want to have sex, you cannot turn off your mom instincts. Part of you is going to be listening for one of the babies crying.
Being 5 months postpartum you could be suffering some effect of postpartum depression.
My advise is to do 2 of 3 things:
First: If possible see if one of the grandparents can watch the children for a night or weekend. Having the children away for the night or weekend will allow you to relax and turn off the mom instincts. You should be able to relax, become aroused, climax and enjoy sex with your husband.
Second: Grandparents not available; hire a babysitter and go to a motel for a couple of hours with your husband. It may just be enough to allow you to turn off your mom instincts.
Third: This is the must do, check in with your OB/GYN. I don't believe your period being off is a big think but then I'm a male and not a doctor. It is worth discussing with your doctor. Your doctor can screen you for postpartum depression. This is a common illness and nothing to be ashamed of, especially since it is easily addressed by your doctor.
I have a friend that needs help with tellin her mom that she is having sex again. My friend is 16 years old and her boyfriend now is 19. My friend used to have sex before and her mom fount out, she promise her mom that she was not goin to have sex again. Now that this new boy have came around she has had sex with him twice in a week. The first day the had sex he broke all her condoms and they have been using the pull out method since then. Now she wants to get on birth control. How can she tell her mom she is having sex again and wants to get on birth control. Please help me to help my friend
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
While I don't cone the fact that your friend is breaking a promise she has made to her mom; neither do I want her getting pregnant or getting an STD from unprotected sex.
At 16 years of age, by law, she has medical confidentiality. Meaning she can go to her doctor or some place like planned parenthood and receive birth control. The fact that her boyfriend has broken all of her condoms I would suggest the two of them visit a planned parent hood clinic together.
The law allows for her to visit a doctor or clinic in total confidentiality, meaning no one, not the doctors or the nurses can tell her mother the reason for her visit without your friends written release of information. The law is called HIPPA, Health Information Personal Act Privacy. This law was passed for a number of reasons one of which was to ensure that women such as your friend could seek proper medical care. Anyone over the age of 13 is covered by this act.
At a Planned Parenthood clinic or any other women's health clinic, they will exam your friend, make sure she is not already pregnant and prescribe a proper form of birth control for her. They will also show her and her boyfriend the proper type of condoms to use and how to put them on without breaking them.
The clinics that offer these services are Planned Parenthood clinics and any clinic that offers abortions. Clinics that do not offer abortions often are anti-abortion rights clinics many of which also do not believe in birth control as well. So tell your friend to make sure she chooses the right clinic.
As I said I don't support her breaking her promise to her mother. I also do not support unprotected sex. I would hope she and her boyfriend would refrain from having sex until she is properly protected.
I also hope your friend is actually 16 and not 15 approaching 16 for depending on the age of consent in your state; the fact that she is having sex with a 19 year old male could lend itself to her boyfriend being in deep trouble with the law. Some how I feel this is the real reason she may not want to tell her mom.
The short answer to your questions is; Telling the truth straight out is always the best way to resolve this type of question.
I am a 17 year old girl and just started wantin to enter the sex world. How do i tell my mom that i want to start having sex with out going crazy on me. I really dont want to go behind her back and do it but i have a feelin i will if i cant tell her soon. Sex has become a urge for me and i really want it. Please help me find a way to tell her.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
I don't think there is any easy way to tell your mother your planning on loosing your virginity and starting a sex life. Depending on what age mom was when she started having sex may depend on how wild she gets when you talk to her about this.
In fact this might be the starting point for a conversation. By law, in most every state you have reached the age of consent; meaning you can legally consent to a sexual encounter.
So if you combine the two in a conversation with mom it might be an easier way of telling her how you feel. I would suggest you do so someplace away from home. This is an old salesman's trick, and as I am an old salesman I will pass it a long.
Take mom to the mall or a restaurant for lunch. Taking mom out of the house when you have this conversation will force her to limit her reaction when you get to the point in the conversation that is the main purpose for the two of you being together. If you have siblings remember to ask mom out for a special time you need for just the two of you. This will probably alert mom to the fact that you have something personal or special to talk to her about though I don't feel it will alarm her or that she will refuse you this special time with her. It is fairly normal for a teen soon to turn into a legally adult women to want to have a special conversation with her mom.
You could start your conversation with; "mom, how old were you when you first had sex?" She might reply with one of two answers. 1) That's personal. 2) Why would you want to know that. There is also a third answer she could come up with which would be; "are you planning to have sex?" This answer leads right to what you wanted to speak about . Your answer would or could be a simple yes or I'm thinking about it and I wanted to discuss this with you.
Whatever your decision is after talking to your mom I would be remiss as a parent and a adviser if I didn't add some advise on protection when having sex.
Visit you gynecologist and get a prescription for birth control that is proper for you. Make sure that your partners always use a condom and that you know how to make sure he is wearing it properly. You can practice on a banana if you want. Even though you are on birth control condoms protect against the transfer of disease.
Most importantly never let a partner force you into a sexual act that you are not comfortable doing. Sex is a beautiful thing between two consenting adults. The operative word here is consenting. Both partners need to consent in order for the beauty to come through. Nothing is weird as long as there is consent from both. Both partners also have to understand that no means no and stop means stop, regardless of when it is said. Communication is the key to a good sex life.
Below is a link to a website I found for you women who have asked the question "Am I ready for sex". I think you would benefit by looking at this website, it would probably be best to do so before you have your talk with your mother.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4years, im happy and we love each other, the only problem is, my dad doesnt like him. He gets along with my mum & she absolutely loves him! At the start when we first started dating my dad seem to like him until he started judging him on little things. Because he is 3 years older than me, (im 20) he doesnt have a house or nice car or isnt like a man he wishes my boyfriend to be, it really upsets me. My dad never really says anything positive about him until 1 day we almost broke up & I was really upset, he seemed to care then about our relationship? & he went back to normal again... My boy is good to me, he buys me everything, treats me right, knows how to have fun & he may not have the best job in the world but his always willing to work hard. My dad always judges him and he doesnt realise my bf looks up to him becuase he respects him. Its makes me sad becuase it always feels awkward when they are both together (even though they are friendly towrds each other) and knowing the fact that my dad secretly hates him, well I dont know for sure, but its not something I can never ask my dad the truth. I have feeling its becuase he doesnt want me to waste my time (i can do better) and wants me to have a good future and my bf isnt the right one... & he always remindes my sister to find a bf that has a trade or 'good job'(referring to me)??? I have no idea.. please help!
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
Your father probably won't like what I'm about to say, so it may not be a good idea to throw my words up too him.
A good job is any job that supplies a steady paycheck, that your good at doing and happy to go to work doing everyday. If this describes your boyfriends job then he has a good job. Not all jobs are skilled labor jobs. We need unskilled labor just as much as skilled labor. We need the bus drivers, sanitation workers and other jobs likes these just as much as the electricians and plumbers.
Is your boyfriend is good to you? Is he is the type of man who will come home to each day after work and not go catting around in bars? He would love you and not hit you? Then he is a good man.
Money does not buy happiness; in general all the money in the world would only buy bigger problems. As long as the two of you resolve to live with in your means you can be happy.
Speaking as a husband and father we would love to see our daughters marry that fairytale prince. Not many can have the fairytale. The best we can hope for is the man she chooses will love, honor and respect her for who she is. Mostly that she is my daughter and I give him to her to protect and cherish, to keep safe from harm and not to harm her. If he can do all that then he is her prince charming and all I can really hope for.
Yea, I know a little mushy right. But that is how fathers think about their daughters, not so their sons. They expect their sons to take care of themselves. But even in this day and age with women very capable of caring for themselves a daughter is and always will be daddy's little girl.
If your boyfriend is everything I would like to see for my daughter, then you need to find away to tell your father. All he really wants is what is best for you. Frankly in most fathers minds no man is ever good enough for their daughters.
Just remember one thing when talking to dad. Moms father probably felt the same way about him as he feels about your boyfriend. You grew up and, lived with the improving version of dad, not the original version that grandad saw.
I think my mom is cheating on her birthday he asked her what she wanted for dinner because he wanted to cook for her and her answer was NO. That evening I went to her job and there was two big ballons and flowers there. So I thought it was from my dad. It was from a guy named Sam.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
Sam is a nickname often used by a girl named Samantha. As for your father cooking for her I can think of a number of reason to say no, starting with the mess he would make that she may end up cleaning up and ending with your father is a bad cook.
If these is the only reason you have to believe that mom is cheating? You have not only gone to the edge of the cliff you have jumped off.
What I am trying to say is you do not have the evidence to support your conclusion. So stop worrying about something that may or may not and is probably not happening,
Today I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone while I was doing homework. I was actually making progress on it (more than I would have otherwise) because I was doing something I enjoy at the same time. My dad yelled at me to hang up the phone and get off of the computer so that my brother could play his computer games. I tried to explain the situation but he wouldn't listen. He said I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone in order to avoid homework. He didn't understand that it was actually helping me. I am afraid to tell him that multitasking is actually a better way for me to study. As I said my goodbyes to my girlfriend he continued to yell at me. I tried talking to him in a calm voice which just made him mad. He grabbed my arm and pushed me against the radiator (my back really hurts) and told me that I was giving him bullshit. My own father won't listen to me and I don't know how to get the message to him that I need him to let me take care of my own academics. I feel like I will go more insane than I already am if this doesn't end.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
As the saying goes there are two sides to every story and this story begs for the other side to be told. It's not that I don't believe what you have written, I do. I have questions that might be answered by hearing your fathers side.
First: I don't like that your father pushed you into the radiator. What I would like to know is if this is this something that happens often, not pushing you into a radiator, but physical abuse in general.
Second: What are your grades like? Are you an A/B student or more of a C/D student? How long was it, in actual minutes and how many times did he tell you to hang up, before you hung up and he grabbed you?
If your grades are good to great or even at just a level that it is felt you are capable of, I might be able to see your side. We all multitask at one time or another. I will listen to music while writing reports and yes it does help.
Writing reports, listening to music, talking on the phone is a little to much multitasking.
If your grades are not good or not at a level you are capable of then I can see why your father got upset. Your method of homework through multitasking may be getting homework done; but you are not learning from the homework because you are too busy multitasking. Is this possibly what your father sees?
Kicking you off the computer so that your brother could play games was just his way of eliminating one of your tasking's. If you truly need to computer for homework I don't believe he would have kicked you off of it.
Reexamine the issue here and look at it from dads point of view with the in site as it may be appropriate that I have offered.. If I am right, write back to me and I will offer suggestions on how to make peace with dad and how to go forward. If I am wrong tell me where and I will offer suggestions on how to approach dad to point these things out to him.
I would also like to know if physical abuse on you by your father is a regular form of his manner of showing his anger and displeasure. If so I can help with this as well. I will need details on this and how often it occurs. Children of any age should not be physically abused for any reason.
Ok....so im a 13 year old girl, and i went over my friends house a few days ago(she's a girl). Anway while we were on the floor watching tv about to go to sleep she reaches over and puts herhands down my shorts and starts fingering me... i sort of liked it, then she takes my hand and tells me to do it to her, so i did and the nxt day she said that she wants to do it again... what should i do?
ps:im not bi-sexual or lesbian
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
What you should do is entirely up to do, no one can tell you what to do in this situation. Neither should you let anyone force you to do anything you don't want to do.
You are not a lesbian or bi-sexual. What happened between you and your friend is totally normal. It is called experimentation; learning about ones sexuality. Most teenagers start to learn about their sexuality by experimenting on themselves through masturbation or through same sex touching and feeling. This is what I believe has happened with your friend.
Puberty brings on a lot of changes within you and to your body. Some of these changes are going to bring on sexual urges. There are different ways to handle these urges, which start as you have just found out with your girlfriend.
The key here is to learn to control your urges and to act on them appropriately. There is nothing wrong or sinful about what has happened. As I said the decision as to do it again has to be yours and yours alone. Do not allow anyone ever to force you to do anything sexually that you do not want to. That is advice for know and the future.
Hello.
My name is Lilian Owoka, i went through your profile today and i wish to continue relationship with you if nature will permit we have a long way to go.
to tell you more about myself and including some pictures of myself too. I will like you to get back to me through my private email (lilianowo@yahoo.com)
Thanks from Lilian
I do not conduct private on line relationships. I am available only through this website for advise only.
Thinking about having sex in public. My SO and I are going to try it at the park in the woodsy type of area. It's a risk that we're both excited and anxious to take. Thrills are good...
But I wanna do it to where it isn't as noticable as we could make it seem. What positions would be best?
I was thinking about straddling him or something.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
Public sex can be exciting be forewarned; depending on where you plan to have this public sex your chances of being caught increase as do the legal charges you can be charged with.
Being charged with lewd and licideouse behavior does no look good on college entrance requests or future job resumes. Being charged with a sex crime can also have your name placed in the National Sex Offenders Registry.
What sounds like fun and probably is very exciting has some real life consequences to it. I really do not want to rain on your parade just have you understand what could happen.
If you want to experience outdoor sex with some of the excitement you are looking for. I would suggest you and your boyfriend go camping. Find yourselves a secluded camping spot, wait until nightfall and then have sex.
what does it mean when someone keeps blacking out?
it happens all the time at the most randomest moment. im in a middle of saying something and i just freeze.0.o
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
Blacking out is not normal. There are a number of physical ailments that can cause a person to blackout. Ailments of this type range in level of severity from non-life threatening to life threatening. You need to see a doctor immediately. Until you see a doctor, if you are old enough, you should not operate a car or operate any type of machinery.
If you cannot see your doctor immediately then have someone take you to the nearest hospital emergency room.
If you still live at home this is something that you need to tell your parents about so that they can take the appropriate medical intervention for you. This is not something to hide from them.
Well im a girl...and i was over my friends house, who is also a girl, and the whole night she was trying to finger me. Now i liked it and im really tickelish so i was laughing...then later on that night we were in the basement and she fingered me,like she put her vingers in my vagina sooo... i did it back to her and we both liked it. Now i really just don't know what to do because we both want to do it again :/.
This is sooo embarressing.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about. It is quite normal for young ladies such as yourself and your friend to experiment with your sexuality. Boys do it to. If you want to put a name to it it can be called mutual masturbation.
This is not a time to put labels on your sexuality as this is a learning experience. It is finding out what it is like to have someone else touch you an an intimate manner. It is safe because that person is of the same sex as you. Also parents usually do not have a problem with 2 young people of the same sex being behind closed doors, even sleeping in the same bed.
As I said there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Almost all teenagers experiment in this manner. You decide how far you want to allow your friend to go in touching you an such an intimate manner. This is nothing more than a learning situation for each of you and should be looked upon it as such. Do not put labels on yourselves as you are still learning about your sexuality.
Depending on your comfort level in discussing matter of sex with your mom you could consider discussing this incident with her. I'm about 95% positive at some point in her life she had a similar incident. If the two of you are comfortable of discussing sexuality with each other you could benefit by having a discussion with your mom on this subject.
What is used to treat diverticolitous
Diverticulitis is swelling (inflammation) of an abnormal pouch (diverticulum) in the intestinal wall. These pouches are usually found in the large intestine (colon). The presence of the pouches themselves is called diverticulosis.
Treatment
Acute diverticulitis is treated with antibiotics.
The involved portion of the colon may need to be removed with surgery if you have:
•Abscess
•Hole (perforation) in the colon
•Fistula (abnormal connections between different parts of the colon or the colon and another body area)
•Repeated attacks of diverticulitis
After the acute infection has improved, eating high-fiber foods and using bulk additives such as psyllium may help reduce the risk of diverticulitis or other symptoms
For more information visit the following website:http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001303/
16/f
Is it wrong to genuinely hate my mother?
I was adopted from birth and feel as if I've always felt neglected by my mother ever since I was little. From what I can remember, there's always been something kind of quarrel or discrepancy, and it's frustrating, because I used to try really hard to, as much as I hate her, acquire some approbative pride in me from her...
She's a bigot, self-righteous, narrow-minded, intensely judgmental, and has always more or less acted officiously toward everyone else besides my dad that yells at her, and once he yells at her, she'll start throwing things and slamming doors, cupboards, etc.
I know I'm not a five year old anymore, but it really bothers me, and whenever I visit home (I begged my parents to allow me to attend a boarding school), I just want to get away. She screams, and has fits. I go to therapy, and although I know I'd never act out so rashly, I find myself always at ends with this feeling of conflicting emotions. When she screams at me, I want to bash her face in, but act with a calm and understanding demeanor, which just makes her look like the child, and so, she just get's even more worked up...
I'm not sure what else I have to ask, but if anyone has any advice as to how I should deal with this, I'd greatly appreciate it. I don't want to grow up to become one of those resentful women who despise their mothers. My mother's an educated woman, but for some reason she just--she acts like a bitch.
Thanks
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
I'm not sure I have an answer for you. What I have is possibly some grandfatherly advice.
First you are very lucky, not all children put up for adoption actually get adopted. Those that do don't always turn out as well as you seem to be. From your writing the school your parents have sent you to have done very well by you. I don't need the fingers of one hand to count the number of 16 year olds', male or female who write as well as you do.
As for you and your mom not getting along; that is actually quite normal for a teenage female of your age. What is not normal is some of the other things she does that you have written about. Unless you can get your mother to see a doctor to find out why she is like this, there is not much you can do about it.
One thing you should discuss with your therapist is the way you handle your mother. Your calm and understanding demeanor may be taken by her as belittling of her, which would only make her more angry. I'm Sure it is not your intent to belittle her; your calm manner could be interpreted by her as such and would be felt as disrespectful as well. Adults expect teenagers to be reactionary not calm and understanding.