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how do i tell my mom
I am a seventeen year old girl and just started fingerin myself after being with my boyfriend for two months. The other day when i was fingering myself, i had popped my own cherry. My mom doesn't know i finger myself let alone that i popped my cherry the other day. I've always been a good girl and its not myself to do there type of things. i think that when i tell her its going to hurt her feeling and she'll be ashame of me. How do i tell her that i popped my cherry and started fingering myself just because of this boyfriend i have now.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Masturbation is completely normal. There is nothing dirty about it, or sex in general nor about your body. Relax, see this as just something that everybody does (because they do even if they try to deny it; hell, your mom probably did it when she was your age) and don't overthink it. I would keep this a private matter, though.
Thus, the takeaways here for you are to just live in the moment, don't feel guilty about sex while you manage it responsibly so that you don't suffer any adverse outcomes and be in control of your life generally.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Let me start by saying masturbation is totally normal. Most teenagers masturbate, be they boys or girl, to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the hormonal changes brought on by puberty. A recent report relates that as many as 90% of the population masturbate. Now this would include adults as well as teenagers. This would include such acts as mutual masturbation, hand jobs, fingering and oral sex. One could define masturbation or mutual masturbation as any sexual activity other than intercourse. Masturbation is a natural way to relive this tension. Most of what is done during foreplay is a form of mutual masturbation.
Most religions including the Catholic Church condone masturbation; if this is so why do parents and church elders tell children it is wrong to masturbate? The only reason I can think of is the pleasure received from masturbating leads to wanting the pleasure of actual intercourse. In a sense there is a double standard here. As mutual and some people even use single masturbation as a form of foreplay, adults are telling children that something they do on a regular basis is wrong. Well if it is wrong or sinful for the children, would it not be wrong for the adults.
What my wife and I told our children is that masturbation or mutual masturbation is a safe way to satisfy desire without the chance of anyone getting pregnant. There is nothing dirty or disgusting about masturbation; it is a safe way to satisfy a natural urge. The only time masturbation is wrong is when the urge to masturbate precludes doing everything else.
Telling your mother you masturbate is entirely up to you. From my perspective masturbation is a very private and personal act of sexual satisfaction. While I condone the practice and even suggested it to my children I did not need to know when and if they masturbated. My preference for my children to masturbate rather than have sexual intercourse was mainly a personal one. Masturbation would not result in me having to deal with someone becoming pregnant.
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Good girls do. In fact, what you are doing is a form of masturbation which is healthy and natural. There's nothing to be ashamed of as it's pretty much universal with teens with 90% of males and 78% of females engaging it at all age ranges.
Your friends, classmates and other females you know are or have done so in the past but females are more discreet in talking about it than guys. The fact you do it doesn't make you dirty or a "bad" person.
Your mother knows that this activity is normal (you don't have to mention a boyfriend even) and pretty much knows and or suspects what you are doing that and likely would be more concerned you feel embarassed over it than anything else.
The hymen doesn't need to have anything sexual happen or masturbation to stretch and can happen through rigorous sports, tampon usage etc. If you need to tell your mom about it you don't necessarily have to link it to anything else. at either rate you're doing what almost everyone does and it's okay as long as you feel okay with it.
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