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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

i need some kinky ideas for my partner and i. But not the usual scratching or biting. something really good that he would enjoy. The kinkier the beter.

Not that I'm kinky but I put in this on net search "Kinky sex ideas" and 7 websites showed up.
So you might try that

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This is long, I apologize

I have veen with my husband for 5 years abd when we first met things were good until I met his mother... she from the start had a problem with me and portrayed me as being the women who was coming between her and her son. She has tried to break us up countless times, called us 25+ times a day, left nasty voicemails...we both changed our numbers and moved because it became unbearable. We move...then 2 years later we decide to try again a d forgive her so we wrote her a letter. She wrote back again indicating her son atopped talking to her bwacause of me etc. No, Her son stopped talking to her because well several reasons... she was on drugs, in and out of rehab and lost several apartments from not paying rent and her rude manipulative ways. We have gone to the police.. now here is the problem, she lives in the next state over and we do not know where sge is. ANYWAY! after changing jobs...she eventually finds out where my husband works and has been calling his work! He is pissed! We do not know what to do as we dont know where she lives... please help!!!

-at wits end

Adviceman is right about the police or at least going to them and asking for names of private dectectives you could hire. Sometimes the work load for the police is too high too have the time to investigate all angles.
I dated a private dectective for a while. >He didn't give details of cases but told me the tricks they use to track down a person. Never has trouble finding them.

Good luck.

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Well I have this "best friend"
I dont even no what she is really. we both have done so pretty fucked up stuff to one another, sutff that it acutlaly extremely interesting and fucked up beyond believe but that would take another paragraph to explain ( email me if you want the story, it is very unique) But all and all, I love her. latley tho, things have been the rockiest the ever have been. but i am still holding on. I dont even think I like her very much anymore, but I keep remeber our past and how good she was to me than, and I am hoping this is just a phase for her. I mean, she isnt mean to me at the moment, she just... lies around aloot. And her values are a bit fucked up. But with me, we are still best friends. Its just when we are in different places do I realize she may not be treating me right. Why i think this is a phase is because this all started when she started going out with this guy pete. ever since they have gone out, she like protiztizes him first and that sucks. So i am just trying to get people opinions what to do... should i keep around this girl who was amazinng to me before her bf , and although she still isnt BAD to me persay, she puts me 2nd...which is a super bad feeling. Idk. its just hard to place someone first in your life and than be placed second in theirs... but does that mean u take a break? or deal?

I left way to much out, so if you are turly interested in my story. shoot me an email. more than happy to share.
thanks!

The natural ways of life are that a man or woman will eventually find a mate and if it is a healthy relationship with 2 mature people, then they will be the closest to each other. I don't think you'd like it much as a girlfriend, let alone a wife if your sweetie says, hi hon. hope you have plans for yourself, I'm off to go bowling with Mark and tomorrow by the way, I'll be at the races with Phil.
You would not go for that if he put his best friends first, and left you in 2nd place. If you can handle that, You're unique and one in a million. No one else would stand for that.

It's hard for you seeing your friends attention go elsewhere. Eventually your turn will come and you'll likely do the same, total focus on the boyfriend.

New relationships are more intense in the beginning, it's called new relationship energy or NRE, and this will settle into a more normal less intense state after some time has gone by and at that time, it's easier to begin to focus on old close friends and begin to spend some time with them again.

If you feel I've understood this wrong because you have more things you did not mention that are important to get the right advice, then let me know.

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Hey there! I'm saana. I'm 15 years old and I'm female. Well you see, I have this very very close friend of mine. And we talk like everyday! I really like him a lot.. He mostly says 'Miss you!' When I'm gone or asleep. And sometimes we skype and he just makes funny faces and is just so cute with me.
But idk we know each other for like a month now. And we don't talk much :/ It's also cause of our time zone! But he's here now and we still don't talk much :/ I just want him to notice me a bit more instead of me always starting a conversation! I feel annoying when I always start a convo :s
What should I do?

There is no users manual like there is for a camera or appliance, when it comes to knowing how to talk to girls. Guys are not instinctively as social as women. We need no prompting, we just volunteer info. and tell our girl friends what happened without them having to ask. Since women are the ones who know how to have convo's it'll be up to you to teach the guys by example.

As has been suggested, you can try the silence method which I think works great when we're talking college age or older. By then they have some experience communicating with women.
At 15, he probably has no clue yet...and that's why the short messages and silly faces. He is really totally clueless. Only way to find out how into you he is, just start engaging him in more convo's and ask the questions you want answers to. Make sure he feels comfortable answering, like "Don't worry, I won't go all wacko on you no matter what your answer is. I just really would like to know." Guys fear womens emotional reactions too. So if you can stay calm and detach yourself if the answer isn't what you wanted, then other's will notice you are safe to talk to and other guys may approach you. Try not to take things too personally at this age. This is mostly a time for both genders to begin to learn about each other.

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So I went to washington Dc with my mom for a political convention. It was three days. The first day we were there my phone fell in the toilet. I had no way of contacting my boyfriend because my mom doesn't have a phone and our schedule was packed tightly. The only thing I thought of was to email him or try using a computer texting app. I texted him to tell him what was going on that same day so he wouldn't freak out. He ignored all texts and emails. I got back and called him and he said he doesn't want us to be together anymore because he doesn't trust me because I ignored him for three days. I don't know how to feel about the situation. what do you guys think about the situation.

If I understand correctly, it wasnt on the 3rd day that you used computer to contact him and tell him what happened, you said:
... to tell him what was going on that same day so he wouldn't freak out.

So I will base my answer on your alerting him the same day the cell fell in toilet.

I can see a loving caring boyfriend being concerned by not hearing from you, but "freaking out" is a bit extreme. For you to describe him as such makes me wonder about him and his character.

The warning bells go off in me that a man is so needy, demanding, suspicious and unreasonable. So he is likely very immature on top of that. Your feelings for him will cloud your ability to see that.
Doing something very independent like going to a political convention for something you believed in, made him feel threatened perhaps. He may be a very dependent person or have have feelings of inadequacy. To compensate, men with problems of trust and some of the above mentioned, could potentially become extremely controlling and when an independant woman does not bend to his demands, he withdraws or tries to break her will by restricting her further, usually by Force and worst case scenerio becomes verbally and physically abusive.

Consider yourself fortunate that he doesn't want to be together anymore. There is a chance that he may come back after he gets over things not going the way he had thought in his mind. My ex husband had that problem. Turned out he had a mental illness,not severe enough for most people to notice so its' easy for them to learn to hide it except once at home behind closed doors.

So if he comes back, don't take him back. You can do much better.

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There is this guy and I am not sure if he likes me. We have never talked before but we have had shared multiple eye contacts everyday and there are times when we stare at each other for quite a while. However, our facial expressions are usually fixed. No smiles no nothing.
There are times when I will look first and vice versa.

Thanks you for taking time to read! :)

It's a sign that there is an attraction based on looks, a chemistry. Once you get to know a person better, you may discover that while attracted by looks and there is some chemistry that way, you don't like his character otherwise. That can happen sometimes. The chemistry could be moderate which works for dating, however in the long run, for a mate...you'll not only want someone with a strong chemistry but whom you have much in common with and enjoy each others personality and company.


Do you find yourself looking at other guys even half as much as you look at him on purpose? Probably not. There's your answer. If you're doin it, thats a genuine curiousity in him and that means he has the same for you. The only way you'll know if it could become more than just aquaintences or friends is to say hi and you've probably noticed me looking at you sometimes. I'm kinda shy about starting conversations with someone I don't know well, but felt brave today. How are you? Its his turn to talk. If you have to drag a conversation out of him, just let it rest and focus on other friends. If he's interested, he'll find a way to come around

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Hey I'm a teenage girl, I'm in the eighth grade. I have a 3.0 so I don't have to take semester test and this is my last week of school so I want it to go by super fast. Any ideas on how I can make this week go by super fast?

Remember, time doesnt speed up or slow down.But there are some things that are true.

If a person is not busy, their hands and mind idle and keep looking at the clock, time drags on.

On the other hand, if one's daily schedule is crammed with almost more things to do than you could reasonably fit in lets say "a work day", then the time flies by. I have experienced plenty of days where i looked at the clock and it was long past the time to go home because I'd been kept ridiculously busy.
I am gonna guess that there arent any friends of yours who are free as you are. So try doing something you've never done before. If you need to make time pass in school, volunteer to help any teachers who want help with grading or whatever. I did that while in middle school. My daughters were in a middle school that was K thru 8th so they could volunteer to sit with and read with younger kids. Ask for volunteer work. If you are not in school and with permmission released early from school, I'd again look to do something along the lines of volunteer work. Need a suggestion? A great one is going to a nursing home or retirement home. The older folks are lonely for visitors. When Dad was in one, all the other residents wanted us to visit with them too.
It didnt have to be special. Just start talking abut your life. School and your friends and ask them to share their story. Start at the office and say you have come to volunteer some time visiting. Who in particular might enjoy a visitore. have a favorite book or maybe a book of poetry to read aloud to a group of people in the recreation room, or if you play an instrument, play for them or sing too. I saw some older ladies whose barrettes were falling out of their hair. Offering to brush and style their hair might be very welcome. Stick with the people whose minds are clear and can converse with you. Its too hard to do that with those who aren't quite there. HOpe this helps give you ideas

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Long story short, my roommate is AWFUL. She uses up my groceries, leaves a mess everywhere, and purposely goes in the bathroom whenever I get home from work because she knows I need to shower. Those are only a couple examples. We have a house together and only a couple short months left. However, I need a way to get some type of revenge on her. We've had plenty of conversations and arguments about ways she needs to change- she doesn't even have anything against me- and it never helps. Don't bother preaching to me about how revenge isn't the solution- I've made up my mind. However, it can't be the type of revenge where it's obvious I'm trying to mess with her.. that'll just bite me in the butt. What ways can I make things difficult for her but she can't be absolutely positive I had something to do with it?

If you only have a couple of months left, I hope you are looking for a new rent situation and a new room mate. Your mind would do better to focus on that.

You say you are bound and determined to get back at her.
Lets say your soul is in 5th grade and hers in Kindergarten. Can you expect a Kindergartner to understand and be able to do the things you do in life?
And then, your soul is in 5th grade, not high-school, So you would think a person with a more mature soul might look at you and say that you should be acting like them, as in the example of not going for revenge. But no, that won't happen.
The more mature person will not aid you in suggestions how to continue to operate at 5th grade level. Instead we would urge you to take baby steps towards 6th or 7th grade way of dealing with it. NOt a giant leap...just some personal growth that is Positive. Think on it dear

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Can I get rid of stretch marks by natural ways ?


I personally have never had stretch marks but I do love using natural products for other conditions.
So I looked it up on-line. Here's just one site, scroll down to where it starts.

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So i asked this girl out and she said yes, it was kinda awkward at the beginning at it still kinda is. She acted nervous around me, and told her friends that she liked me, even her best-friend.
But today i found out from one of my friends that she said yes not to hurt my feelings! Was this just a fake? Could it be that she wanted to end the awkwardness by saying she doesnt like me?


There's a party game called the telephone game in which the host whispers a phrase to the first person who whispers it to the next. Each person cannot ask to have the phrase repeated, just whisper to the next what they thought they heard until it has gone full circle. The last person in line then tells the crowd what was whispered to him.
In most circumstances it no longer resembles what was originally spoken.

The lesson here: Do not count on messages passed back and forth by 3rd party members. Only count on what you hear straight from the person in question. It will do you good to learn this now or you will have to learn it as an adult often with much more embarrassing and critical outcomes.

Only way you can know for sure is to hear from her.
So not to make it embarrassing for either of you, and give her a chance to be let off the hook. So you'd have to be creative in what you say to her...not a message given to your friend to give to her. Use your own words but it could be something like, "Hey Jill. Thanks for agreeing to go out. I am still new at the dating thing like you so if something comes up or you change your mind, just let me know. I wouldn't take anything personally."

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Okay well I have a really close friend I knew for like 2 months now?
We actually talk everyday. About life and about all the random things!
But yesterday I mentioned my step mother in one of our chats. And he said: Wait.. Step mums? You have a step mum?'
So I said yeah and I told him I don't talk about her at all cause we aren't that close so basically I thought okay sorted.
But he sent me a picture on snapchat saying goodnight
Then he sent me the message on a messenger after that.
But since then he ignores my snapchats
And I have a feeling he's a bit different with me. He one word replies! :(
Do you think he might be angry for me not telling him about my step mum? We don't know each other in person. He's in America and I'm in Europe.
If it helps, I'm 15 and he's 16. And I'm female :p
Hope someone helps!

Talking every day does show interest in the other in most cases but still...2 months is not a long time in an on line relationship. When I did online dating, I had a male friend I talked to daily, for a year, who didn't live far from me and never wanted to meet in person. Who knows the reason why some people like an online relationship, and why others don't stick with it.

So because of his reaction to you having a step mom and right after not responding to your chats, you are connecting the two as related. While they might be, they also may not be. If he never responds to a chat, you won't have the chance to ask why he was surprised to hear you had a stepmom.
If you shared in detail about other family members, it might be a surprise to hear there was another by marriage. But it should not be shocking to any guy you ever talk to again. Why?
Because everyone in order to be alive on this planet needs to have had a mother and a father. They sometimes divorce and re-marry. That is a fact of life. Nothing unusual. Also nothing unusual in not clicking with the step person and or their family. But being civil to them is. Not being close is nothing for you to be ashamed to admit, alright?

There is always a very slight possibility that he comes from a very strict religious background that frowns on divorce. If anyone you ever meet is that narrow minded that they can't accept you for who you are no matter what the rest of your family is like, then steer clear of the guy.

Your age is a perfect time for learning the ins and outs and ups and downs of friendship with the opposite sex. Dont dwell too much on this and move on when you're ready.

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I like my friend at school and she doesn't like dating what do i do?

Perhaps the parents set a guideline of no dating before a certain age and she's sticking with it?
When she said she does not like dating, did you ask why. Dont know your age...so if your 15 or older thats a fine time to start, if you are younger and her too, it is better to focus on just being a male friend. How else will you find out about what
girls are like if you dont befriend them. If she is open to being just friends, go for it. If you're young,Find out if the parents are ok with you both hanging at each others house sometimes on weekend like her girlfriends probably do.

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I need 365 reseons to love my mom can you help me

If you cant finish it in time, give it to her later. If you give up, make a coupon book. Breakfast in bed, offer her a massage, back, scalp, facial massage, there's so many thoughtful things to say and do for mom.

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How much does the medicine,cost for the abortion

The people best equipped to answer this will likely be your local Planned Parenthood. Besides pregnancies, they have information on abortions too.

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First my brother is 18 and im 13 i just noticed today that i wont be seeing him that often and i cant stop crying
.I can see all of the memories flash in my head what do i do?

Is he off to college then? He'll probably try to be home for holidays on school breaks. Or if he's moving elsewhere for a job, either way you can keep in touch by facebook. And occasional phone calls if the long distance cost is too high.
I think its so wonderful that you have such a close relationship. Come up with a project, a memory box or a scrapbook into which you can place and record all of the things in your life he is missing, Then when you see him next, pull it out and show him and he can laugh and enjoy your memorys with you

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my niece let's call her Kat she is only 12 years old she told me that she has an online boyfriend and she isn't even allowed to date until she is 16 I mean she is 12. she doesn't live with her mom she lives with me and my mom . could she be doing this for attention because she doesn't live with her mom. also she has other behaviors I am concerned about she's always talking about how she drinks and is always talking about boys. I have caught her smoking ciggerates already what should I do I am only 16

I am all for promoting 12 yr olds having friends who are males, but not boyfriends. If she is able to invite girlfriends over, then male friends should be acceptable and that way she has adult supervision. But that doesnt sound like the real issue. She is troubled for whatever reason, likely something to do with not being able to live with mom and admiting to drinking and cigarette smoking...I think are signs she needs counseling. Even though you are family, she is too young to see reasoning from you. The frontal lobes of the brain that help with making good decisions doesnt finish developing until our mid 20's. I got married at 20. I didnt make a good choice...wrong guy couldnt see it, brain not developed enough. I dont know what a counselor can tell you but your mom needs to know so she can get you all into counseling. Not that theres anything lacking in you but like your mom to learn how to help your niece/or cousin. You will need to understand how to not enable her to continue a rebellious path. It was good that you cared enough to write us but i think you both will need more help than our column can offer.

Good luck

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I have always been jealous of my childhood best friend (we haven't really been friends in the past few years). I still compare myself to her even though we're very different people.

What really irks me is how fake she is. She puts on this act, does things specifically to get a certain reaction out of people, works on her reputation, etc. Thanks to all of the above, though, she's popular and has a great group of friends.

I don't try to be popular, I don't want to be the type of person she acts like, etc. But I do want people to like me and admire me and think I'm cool. I thought college would be my escape, but she's going to the same college as me. It's a big school and I just know I'll see her and hear about her.

How do I get over my jealousy?

Jealousy is when a person experiences negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, anxiety and an fear of loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. Sounds like thats what you're going through.

So Tell me, do you know what the opposite of Jealousy is? Thats what you need to strive for.
It will be the opposite of what wikipedia says above that jealousy is.

Taking it in order:
That means you need to focus on feeling SECURE, at PEACE, BELIEF YOU WILL GAIN SOMETHING, in place of anger, LOVE, in place of resentment, look for THE GOOD in the situation, ADEQUATE, all your needs being taken care of, in CONTROL, and able to feel and take PLEASURE in life.
Focus on yourself, not her. We can only change ourselves. Dont ever marry someone thinking you can change them. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE ANOTHER HUMANBEING not shouting just want you to get it..cus its that important.
So again, Focus on yourself. Get some self help books to help you become secure, a healthy self image and all the rest. Once you have dealt with your personal growth and strength...that will shine like a beacon and draw to you the people that will make the best true friends for you.

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Hey :)
So i dated this guy for 8 months, it was an unhealthy relationship and he yelled at me alot so i broke up with him. I have been dating my current boyfriend now for 9 and a half months and we have a good relationship. My problem is, i was bored one day so i went in facebook and on my ex boyfriends wall there are all these cute pictures of him and his girlfriend and lovey dovey posts they post on each others walls and all that stuff. It has been really bothering me because i feel like was i not good enough or what because he never posted sweet things like that when i was dating him but yet he always claimed he loved me so much. Help me please, thanks

Some people just dont have the right chemistry together.
Lets use me for an example, in 30 yrs of my past marriage, my ex blamed me that we did not have a good sex life. He wanted me to change my hair, my nose and my boobs, which I chose not to do. He called me frigid. He did not excite to orgasm. I didnt have my 1st orgasm with a man til I left him. Thats when I discovered that this thing called chemistry is for real. The new boyfriends did all the same things the ex did but now i was having hot wild sex and men said I was anything but frigid. Lots of orgasms and learned to squirt too. Was I not good enough? NO, I was not right to begin with.
I am soooo glad I moved on because I now have a husband who calls me a Goddess, bends over backwards to do things for me, is my sexual equal and worships the ground i walk on. You deserve that too. Do you feel the current boyfriend is much of an improvement, if not start looking for someone that puts you up on a pedastal and treats you like a Queen and with whom you have lots in common, you can't stand it to be apart, the mundane things in life is more fun just because he's at your side, and the passion is out of this world. If you're willing to settle for less thats your choice but if you want to be cherished which is why i believe you wrote...then pray for Mr. Right to come along.

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my love has left me. I don't have any way to alieve. I will kill my self verry soon

If you plan to kill yourself soon, then you wouldn't have written in to an advice column honey.

Everything looks depressing when you have invested time and your heart in a relationship and the partner dumps you. My own daughter became very depressed when her very first boyfriend left her. She lost so much weight there was nothing but skin and bones, she looked anorexic. I told her there were some natural things she could do to get out of depression. She didnt believe me and went for a counseling appt. He told her the same thing I told her, and it works.

You need to get your mind back to working at natural hormone levels. Neuro transmitters in your brain create the hormones like serotonin and others needed for a person to feel good in life. What Drs. do for severe depression is give medicine that is a serotonin to people when their brains are perfectly capable of producing it but there is something you need to do to get that going. The simple action of singing, dancing, listening to music that makes you feel better and hug therapy(look it up on line), laughter/comedies and skipping like kids do...will stimulate your brains neuro transmitters to create the much needed serotonin. This isnt a one time thing but must be a daily part of your life forever to remain healthy.
No it isnt easy to start. You have to push yourself to do it everyday. But it should slowly get better. Once your brain is at normal levels,you will have a differing better outlook on life and it will be easier to find ways to move on. Please try it if you really want an option

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Yesterday I dyed my hair with red splat trying to get my hair like ariana grande. Now it's just wayyyyy to bright my mom got really mad and won't let me go ANYWHERE. I really need to get it faded out a lot so I don't keep getting in trouble. :( I have done the dawn in my hair more then once, washed my hair a million times and I've also done vinegar. I tried the vitamen c thing and it didn't do anything. Please please please help me :(

It would be too harsh on your hair to dry and redye with natural color so if you end up thinking of this...don't. I did and my hair began to break off in chunks. Scared the crap out of me. Some girls have had their hair break off at the scalp. That would be worse than too bright.
You could always contact the manufacturer of the hair dye and ask them what you can do. If they have no solution, I'd say to ask your local profession salon how long before it is safe to re-dye hair and wait as long as they say to. You may be stuck with this for a while.
I know lots of girls like to experiement with creating their own looks. You probably have a good idea ahead of time which ideas would not go over well with mom. When you're 18 you can do as you please, but to keep peace with mom, open communication with her and let her know what you are wanting. See if theres a compromise she would be okay with. Tell her youre sorry for not telling her but you want so badly to create discover and create your own look. Ask if she can be open minded enough to at least talk what you about styles, clothes, hair makeup. Show her on computer pics of what you want. In some cases, mom may actually know something that you don't like what colors may look more better with your skin tone so you don;t end up looking sickly. You and she will need to learn to trust each other at this stage. Good luck

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