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Boyfriend Accusing me
So I went to washington Dc with my mom for a political convention. It was three days. The first day we were there my phone fell in the toilet. I had no way of contacting my boyfriend because my mom doesn't have a phone and our schedule was packed tightly. The only thing I thought of was to email him or try using a computer texting app. I texted him to tell him what was going on that same day so he wouldn't freak out. He ignored all texts and emails. I got back and called him and he said he doesn't want us to be together anymore because he doesn't trust me because I ignored him for three days. I don't know how to feel about the situation. what do you guys think about the situation.
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I don't want to be mean, but your boyfriend really sounds like a waste of time. You know you emailed him, and there is no way he couldn't have gotten those emails. He is trying to make you feel like you are the reason for him wanting to break up, when its really him being a coward. There is most likely a more selfish reason why he doesn't want to be with you and is just finding an easy way out. Don't beat yourself up for any of it. If he is a good guy, he would find a way to fix things instead of giving you up so easily.
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If I understand correctly, it wasnt on the 3rd day that you used computer to contact him and tell him what happened, you said:
... to tell him what was going on that same day so he wouldn't freak out.
So I will base my answer on your alerting him the same day the cell fell in toilet.
I can see a loving caring boyfriend being concerned by not hearing from you, but "freaking out" is a bit extreme. For you to describe him as such makes me wonder about him and his character.
The warning bells go off in me that a man is so needy, demanding, suspicious and unreasonable. So he is likely very immature on top of that. Your feelings for him will cloud your ability to see that.
Doing something very independent like going to a political convention for something you believed in, made him feel threatened perhaps. He may be a very dependent person or have have feelings of inadequacy. To compensate, men with problems of trust and some of the above mentioned, could potentially become extremely controlling and when an independant woman does not bend to his demands, he withdraws or tries to break her will by restricting her further, usually by Force and worst case scenerio becomes verbally and physically abusive.
Consider yourself fortunate that he doesn't want to be together anymore. There is a chance that he may come back after he gets over things not going the way he had thought in his mind. My ex husband had that problem. Turned out he had a mental illness,not severe enough for most people to notice so its' easy for them to learn to hide it except once at home behind closed doors.
So if he comes back, don't take him back. You can do much better.
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You did nothing wrong here. I'm sure you know that. He is overreacting and he has some trust issues. That's not your problem, that's his. Just because you didn't talk to him for 3 days doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. If he was a normal boyfriend, he probably would've came to some conclusions like, "She's busy, she'll talk to me when she can." or "Something must have happened to her phone."
He has his own issues to deal with. If he wants to leave, let him. You don't deserve a guy who doesn't trust you just because you didn't talk to him for a couple days.
My advice is not to beg him to keep you. If he talks to you again and tells you that he wants to break up, then don't fight it, don't argue, just say ok and move on.
His insecurity will ruin his future relationships. Don't stay with him and let him think that this is ok behavior.
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Sometimes in situations like this we learn our fate. Unfortunately, he has jealousy and trust issues. It is sad that it took for this to happen for him to show his true colors yet how much he really cares about the relationship.
You deserve better, You could try to explain to him what happened but if he continues to act immature then it may be time to move on.
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