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Everything Teen-What you need to know but can't ask

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homemaker

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ncblondieadvice

Member Since:

July 12, 2005

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May 23, 2006

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about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we're both religious and waiting for marriage before we have sex. recently we've been really open and getting comfortable with eachother. we've been talking about sex a lot on the phone, not us doing it, just positions and what feels good. last weekend I jerked him off, and afterwards I got really upset. then yesterday we had dry sex. it was just like the real thing just with our pants on. After every time we do that stuff we promise eachother we won't do that again, but everytime we're in a bedroom it happens. Please help I'm so upset & disappointed in myself and it's so hard to not do these things with him cause I trust him so much. But we're only teenagers and I dont want to do it, plus its against my religion. He never forces me to do anything, I just do it... help =[

Waiting for marriage before having sex is an admirable thing. While many of us don't wait, I know a lot wish they had, myself included.

I would suggest not putting yourself into the situation where you'll want sex. You said everytime you're in a bedroom it happens, then stay out of the bedroom. Also when the urge hits, try to distract yourself. Go for a walk around the block. Chances are by the time you get back, the urge will have went away.

we all know that the more you shave, the darker and thicker the hair comes in. well every time I shave my bikini area, it comes in darker and thicker and appears in more areas the more I shave. I was wondering if I could wax it, also to prevent the red little bumps I get every time. you know how you can go out to a beauty supply store to buy home eyebrow wax kits? can you use those for the pubic area? also, those who have tried waxing down there, does it keep the hair off way longer? thanks.

You can buy a home waxing kit for the bikini area. Just make sure the box says it can be used for that area. The bikini waxes are made for the more sensitive skin there.

I'm the same person who asked how i could persuade my parents to let me keep my brother's dog while he is forced to live in hawaii(military orders). My brother and I decided to talk to our parents(for the third time) and my dad was cool with it but my mom wasn't. Everything got out of control and my mom and my grandmother got into this violent argument and my mom was close to killing my grandmother. My mom saids that my brother deserves the pain of his problems just because my brother is taking a while to pay her back cuz he doesn't have much money rite now. To her money comes before family so itz her #1 priority. So my mom threatened to pack up and leave home forever if the dog moves in. I'm so upset and stressed out. what should I do?

I think your family needs to sit down with your mom and let her know the toll her emotional blackmail and violence is having. She needs to realize since your brother is leaving on military orders that there's a chance that something might happen to him. Now is not the time to hold a petty grudge over money.

I think that your entire family would benefit from counseling. If your mom won't go, go without her. Talk to your dad about it. What your mom is doing can leave long-lasting emotional scars if left untreated.

ok .. my dad has changed an hes really ill.. an hes sp mean now an i hate to be around him im only 14 .. an like i really dont want to go with him when its time .. an plus hes a lawyer an i cant talk to him about anything hes not a dad to me anymore ... an my parents our divorced an i dont know what to do im just so upset he hits me an i dont know ... i just dont want to go with him cant i make a choice if i can how ?? please help me???

I would suggest asking your mom to petition the court for custody of you. At 14, the court should take into consideration of where you want to stay. If they ask, make sure to tell them that you want to be with your mom and explain to them why. The fact that your dad is abusive should encourage them to let you stay with your mom.

Hello!
I have two questions.
1) I recently got two warts burned off the top of my hand. It left these two circles with a dark rim and a pinkish inside. My docotor gave me a bleaching product called Epiquin? I believe. Will these be scars for life? Anything else I can do?

2) Also, I got two more warts taken off my index finger but this time by using the agent that makes you blister. I believe it is called catharidim??? I got a little antsy and popped both blisters with a needle which I had burned with a lighter right before I used it (to sanitize). Now the blisters are gone but there is a raised pinkish sort of "harder" skin where the blisters where. Will these go away? I thought this treatment was not supposed to leave scars but will it scar because I used a needle and could have infected it? What to do???
THANKS SO MUCH! Im sick of having these ugly warts, then scars on my hands :-(
THANKS AGAIN

Epiquin should help fade the circles. You might also try some lotion with cocoa butter and vitamin E.

Generally it's recommended that you do not pop a blister since it can open the skin to infection. Keep the area clean and dry. It should heal without a scar within a few weeks.

About three weeks ago i started taking diet pills without my parents knowing. After i took them i started feeling really nervous. My heart feels like it's beating really hard and fast. I'm breathing really weird and it takes me forever to go to sleep cuz i'm soo wired. I stopped the pills shortly after taking them but i'm still messed up. Does anybody know what's wrong and how i could fix it???

I think you see why they advise caution when taking diet pills. The side effects should disappear in the next week. If they don't, go to your doctor and tell them what you took so they can work out the best thing to help you.

hey..
I have kind of a darker brunette color and im looking to dye my hair blonde. i want like a golden blonde.. or like britney spears in her my perogative video. the problem is that my mom said if i go to a pro to do it i have to pay for it myslef. and i really had my heart set on getting some new things for school. So if anyone knows any good brands of "do it yourself" dyes that actually work to dye brunette hair blonde.. id really appreciate it. and please dont say im stupid for wanting to dye my hair blonde.. caz im sick of the same old same old.. and i really need this. So please please give me some good brands that will work! thanks in advance.

Going too light from a darker color is hard to do without first bleaching your hair. I prefer Revlon Colorsilk since it leaves my hair soft and healthy looking. It's pretty inexpensive. I pay about $3 at Walmart for a box. Golden blonde is #71 but I would check the box just to be sure that's the color your hair will go. Usually on the side or back of the box, there's a little color chart showing your original color and what color the dye will turn your hair. Make sure when you buy the dye to also buy a shampoo for color-treated hair so it stays healthy and keeps the color longer.

i was outside for a while a couple nights ago and now my body is covered in mosquito bites. how can i stop them from itching and make them go away and not scar? i got bitten like this last year and my legs were covered in scars for a really long time. i have a ton on my feet and my feet scar wicked easily.

Take a Benadryl to help deal with the itching and help block the histamine from spreading. Try Calamine lotion or Benadryl cream to help control the itch and heal the spot.

Would any of you agree with "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts"?

The other night, my friend, who had had a few, told me he liked me, he thinks it can work between us, even that im the girl he sees himself marrying. The next day I asked him about it. I asked if he remembered what he said and he said yes. So I asked him if he meant it, and he said yes. I really like him. but im scared to take it any further because I don't know it its true.

Since he says he feels the same way now that he's sober, I would think his feelings are true. Just take it slow to make sure he really means it.

ok im skinny but i have big and flabby thighs. Does anyone know any GOOD excersise to make your thighs smaller and less flabby?

I rate high!!!

Running, walking, bicycling, squats, even swimming will help tone your thighs. I'm including a few exercises that will also help tone that area.

Inner Thigh Lift
Lie on the floor on your left side, making sure that your head, shoulders and hips are all aligned. Prop up your head with your left hand and place your other hand, relaxed, in front of you for support.Bend your right leg and place it on the floor in front of you. Slowly raise your left leg off the floor about 8-10 inches (higher as you get stronger). Try to keep the leg straight, toes flexed. Pause at the top of the movement and hold, then lower your leg back to the floor. Do 8-12 lifts on the left leg. Then relax and do another set. Turn onto the other side and repeat for two sets with right leg lifts.

Outer Thigh Lift
Lie on the floor with your left side down. Your head, shoulders and hips should all be aligned. Bend your left leg, putting your right hand in front of you for support and balance. Keeping your right leg straight and your foot flexed, slowly raise your right leg. Hold for a moment, then lower your leg. Repeat for 8-12 reps. Relax and repeat. Then, turn around or turn over onto your other side and do two sets of 8-12 reps on that side.

Thigh Crunch
Sit on the floor with your legs extended and your arms stretched out behind you to support your upper body. Do not lock your elbows, keep them slightly bent. Bend one knee and keep the foot flat on the floor. Keep one leg bent at the knee, foot flat on the floor, then raise the other leg 6 inches off the floor and move it out to the side as far as you can. Do not move your upper body. Return to the starting position. Complete you repetitions with on one side, then repeat on the other side.

okay well i used to have brownish/ dirty blondish hair only darker... and well i put sun in in it and now its this dark blondish color. well i want to bleach my hair and im just wondering what kind of bleach i should use on my hair and how i do it exactly and what i can use on it afterwards to keep it from getting fried!

thanks

ps my hairs about an inch over shoulder length in the front and in the back its about 3 or 4 inches below my shoulders and i have bangs straight across my face and my hairs layered and wavy

I wouldn't suggest bleaching your hair as it can be very damaging. I would suggest either blonde highlights or a dye. To keep your hair from getting fried, buy a good quality shampoo and conditioner made for colored hair. A leave-in conditioner will also help keep your hair healthy.

Yesterday my boyfriend and i had sex and i bled on him, we thought that it was jusy my period coming because i am late...but it wasnt my period. He said that it could be possible that i contracted a std from my previous relationship or i could be pregnant. Im not sure what to do or what to believe~Im going crazy because i dont have anyone to talk to about this and if i do have a std he'll probably leave me...and i dont think that i would want to live without him; i'll be better off commiting suicide.

Ok first off suicide is no way out. The next time you feel that way call 1-800-SUICIDE. It's a toll-free,confidential 24/7 hotline. They will talk to you and offer you to a referral to someone who can help.

It's possible the bleeding was your period trying to start up and you were just spotting a little.

Bleeding when it's not your period can be a sign of an STD. Many STDs can be treated easily without any long-term effects on your life.

Spotting during sex could be a sign of pregnancy, but without knowing if you have any other symptoms, I can't be sure if this is the case.

I would suggest going to your gyno, health department, or local planned parenthood office and getting tested for both STDs and pregnancy. While you're there being tested, talk to them about methods of protecting yourself from STDs and pregnancy. In this day and age, it's unwise not to protect yourself since you never know what your partner might be carrying.

Well This Is Goin To Be Long. I'm 15 a Female...and me and my ex just recently broke up we dated for a 1 yr and half..i did 1 thing wrong. i was drunk and selfish didnt no wat i was doin and we broke up..i swear up and down that i love him..he said were history were through he never wants to talk to me again...well i got a msg on icq last night..sayin him and his sister is after me..so i msged him back..and he threatened me and *ALL MY FRIENDS* which is pretty much the hole county. and he said for us to show up at his house and if we didnt we was pussys..well we didnt show up..cause we didnt have a way..and because half of my friends is on vacation. so now his sister said that she gets her liscence monday..and that i have it coming. and shes gonna stomp my ass..and she said for me to watch my back..well she said that i threatened her when i didnt..the only thing i said is if u come up to my house and try to fight me youre gonna get it..she goes thats gonna look great in the police records..well shes 18. and shes already been in jail once..and her brother (my ex) beated me and everything..what should i do???..bout the hole thing...the fight and gettin threatened..should i take a compliant thingy out on her and her family for threatening me..

PLEASE HELP

ill rate ya

First I would tell your parents then I would go file a complaint against your ex and his sister.

I don't know exactly what caused the breakup but I think it was a good thing. What he did to you was abuse and you don't have to put up with it. A true man settles his differences with his words, not his fists. Also since he's having his sister get in the middle of this, it makes me wonder if he's even "man enough" to fight his battles himself.

OK...

My friend has been seeing her boyfriend for just over a month now. For two weeks they didn't even hold hands, they were so shy, but all of a sudden they kissed in the cinema and suddenly they are 'so in love' and on the same day as they kissed, they went to third base.

Last week, they had sex (in the WOODS!) and my friend is pretty sure she is pregnant. However, she is sayign she is 'bored' of her boyfriend and wants to 'move on'. I'm sorry but this is so stupid!! You don't sleep with someone you're 'bored' of and never really liked in the first place!!

She also wants an abortion.

First of all, I am angry at her for the whole 'oh I'm bored with you let's shag!' thing. I am also REALLY angry with her about the abortion because I am really against abortion in about 90% of cases, this one included. She wants to kill her own baby because she thinks she'll get 'bored' with it too, and because she made a mistake. She is 'making up' for that mistake with murder.

Now, I'm her friend and I am SUPPOSED to stand by her whatever, but this puts me in a HUGE dilemma because I do not agree with what she's done and what she is planning to do (split up with her boyfriend, have an abortion, not ever tell him she got pregnant). I'm really really angry at her right now and I can't talk to her, but I know she really needs my support at a time like this. How can I push my anger aside, how can I ignore my own stance on abortion and help her?

I need to stand by her...she needs all the love and support she can get, even though she doesn't deserve it. I was very tempted to slap her and run off when I found out but I realised that it's not my place to forgive or condone or accept or hate what she is doing, just to be there for her.

Please help...how can I get over my anger and resentment at what she is doing and be there for her? And don't just say 'talk to her' - if you have to, help me out on what to say!

Thanks for any help and sorry for the length.

Since you're adamantly against abortion, try gently suggesting to your friend that she take an alternate route, adoption. She can help a couple that cannot have children themselves. Also, if she does an open adoption, she can have contact with her child if and when she decides she wants to be a part of her child's life.

I disagree with your statement that your friend does not deserve your love and support. A true friendship means you're there for each other, no matter what happens and no matter what choice the other makes, even if you don't agree with it.

While I understand your feelings on abortion, ultimately the choice belongs to your friend. Even though you don't agree with her choice, she will need someone to be supportive of her. Your friendship will mean a lot to her if she does have an abortion. Many women regret having an abortion and wonder how their child might have turned out.

I would suggest your friend get counseling before making that choice to make sure that she's not going to have any long-lasting emotional effects from the abortion. Also if she still decides to go through with the abortion, make sure she goes to a licensed practitioner. She doesn't want to risk her life or her fertility by going to someone unqualified for the job.

I do think that you need to talk to your friend about this. Instead of just telling her that she shouldn't have an abortion because of your feelings, let her know of the possible medical and emotional effects of an abortion and let her know of the alternative of adoption.

Ok sometimes i dream things that actually happend. Like onetime i dreamt that iwas in a yard talkin to 2 grls and there were ducks.... then on the 4th of July we went to my Aunts house and we went to the neighbors house to talk and they had ducks and there was 2 girls and it exactly like my dream. I always dream stuff like that nothin important just things that happen. Does this happen to a lot of ppl or just me? And if its just me does that mean im phsycic or something? PLz help i rate high!

I think it's completely natural and wouldn't be too worried about it. I think to some extent we all "see" things. Most of us choose not to see though, if that makes sense. I myself occasionally have dreams that happen, nothing really important but it happens anyway.

Dreams are also our subconscious working things out in our life. For example a dream of being lost and not knowing where to go could be a sign that your life has lost direction.

You might consider investing in a dream book to help you understand your dreams. Dreamer's Dictionary by Tom Corbett, Stearn Robinson ($7.50 at Amazon) and The Dream Directory: The Comprehensive Guide to Analysis and Interpretation, With Explanations for More Than 350 Symbols and Theories by David C. Lohff ($9.98 at Amazon) are book good resources for interpreting dreams.

ok this will be long but please help me out here....

Last summer my mom and I went to canada to visit her best friend (scince high school)she has two sons. we had a good time and stayed over a night. and then we left I never really knew the dad but i said hello cause he had known me scince i was born.
so we left and about six monthes later we got a call from linda thats her name, and she said that her husband had died and that it was a car accident and that he didn't suffer but we were all sad and i was too and i thought that maybe they would come to visit us but for a long time they didn't

Then about five monthes later she calls and says she is coming down with her kids who are ages 17 and 14, and they will be staying near our house and will come to visit us and im so scared because i wont know what to say and what to do. What if they start to cry how do i act what can i say to keep their mind off of the subject?

and what are good conversation starters i feel so bad for them but it will be terrible if i just come out and say it!

someone please help me ill rate a five for good advice.

After five months, they've probably began to heal from their loss. If they do begin to cry, just hold them and be supportive if they want to talk. Crying can be very healing so I wouldn't panic if they do.

If you feel that you need to say something, a simple "I'm sorry for your loss. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here." will work.

I think the best thing to do is just carry on like you normally do. Sometimes getting back into normal activities is what it takes for us to heal. Just talk about the things you did before when you visited them. Try some activities that they haven't had a chance to try before.

Good luck.

i just got a pimple last night and im going to a wedding tomorrow! well when my pimples come they usually are red for a couple of days, what are some things i can do to cause less redness? thanks

Get some visine, put a few drops on a cotton ball and hold on the pimple for 15 seconds or until the redness disappears. A cleanser or cream with salycilic acid will help clear up the pimple faster. Try not to touch it more than necessary to avoid making it worse. Once the redness is out, a light concealer should cover it for the wedding.

people say running is a way to lose wieght but can i just walk instead? if not, why cant i?

You can lose weight walking. It just doesn't burn calories as fast as running. Recent studies have shown that walking is actually better for you since there's less stress on the knee joints.

ok i've never been felt up before so i dont exactly know what the guy does up there anyways. when i feel my boobs i can barely feel the nipple unless its cold. is this normal because i always hear the guys saying oh she had such big nipples and im wondering what they'll think if i get felt up! sorry this is the stupidest question ever!

Nipples vary from woman to woman so I wouldn't worry too much about that. I agree with the other response that the guy will probably just be happy he's getting to feel you up and not worry about the size of your nipples.

does the 6 second ab work, HURRY TELL ME !

If you use it correctly and combined with a low fat diet, then yes it will work. If you don't reduce your fat intake, it will work but you won't be able to see the results because of the fat laying on top of the muscle.

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