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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
am having testicle problem since 10 years ago,one of my testicle has been effected,the remaining one is rotating everyday. it gives me so many pains,chest pain,waist pain,stomach pain,joint pain,weakness of the body.the big problem is that my penis has become like small kid own.
You should see a Urologist as this is the area they specialize in.
I'm almost 14 and I feel upset sometimes because of my parents. I mean, I get that parents lecture and that's their job to educate their child, but my parents take that too far. So on one odd morning I was going to be late so I forgot to make my bed, so they lectured me the whole morning and yelled at me, not even because of me being unorganised, but stuff like I'll be a beggar and no man would want me and very off topic subjects. And they think everything I do is stupid, like the way I tie my hair, or wash the dishes. They complain that I don't do my homework but they always call me down to do the dishes or sweep the floor when I'm home. They always compare me to my cousins and friends, like 'why don't you start being like her? ' they lecture me and practically yell and swear at me and go on and on forever. I sometimes cry in my room because of this. I know it's probably because I'm not good enough, but please give some advice!!!!
Lets start with the end. Stop with the not good enough. If you start believing your not good enough you will become not good enough. You are good enough in fact you are better than good enough. I can tell from your writing just how good you are and for 14 you are ahead of the curve.
The unfortunate thing about being a parent is when we take you guys home from the hospital. The hospital does not give as a handbook like they do at the car dealership when we drive off the lot with a new car. Each parent is left to fend for themselves and to learn to parent on the job.
Many parents, your seem to be in this group, use peer pressure as a way to parent. It is unfortunately not a very successful parenting strategy as it leaves the child resentful and as you were head for a poor self-image. Surprisingly it is a very overused parenting strategy. My parents used. My Aunt used it to an extreme pitting her son against her daughter. Today her son does not talk to his sister and the two hate each other and it is my Aunt's fault.
What can you do about this. Unfortunately not much. You can become a duck and let these insults just slide of you back like water off a duck. Keep telling yourself you are better than what they are telling you and maintain a good self image. Get the best grades you are capable of in school.
This type of parenting is border line mental child abuse. If it gets worse talk to a teacher you trust or your school principal about what it is like at home. Should either feel your parents have crossed over the line into abuse there are steps they can take to make life better for you at home.
Of course we are always here as a sounding board should you want to ask us anything.
I have an old friend who lives far away and we've been chatting through messenger or other messaging apps for almost two years after i found him on facebook. Some months ago i visited his country (germany) for work (pleasure as well), we met and together for a view days. We made love on the second day and afterwards, eat, picnic, met his mom, or hanging out, etc. He always had plans and prepared for entertaining me, i am a guess after all. After i back to my home, we are still doing the chat until now. He calls me some endearment las usual. I've told him that i love him but i dont need us to be a special. Honestly i want keep him as a best friend and he seems okay. He doesn't tell me he loves me back either and i dont need that.
I've told my another friend about it and he said that it is completely impossible for us to stay friends forever. He will ask more than that, he said. What do you think? I am not seeking a relationship with him just very enjoying his companion and i dont want to change that. Please give me insight and what should i do to keep it this way
The fact that you two were intimate while you were a visitor in his country does not mean your friendship has to end. From what you have written it does not sound like you are looking for anything more than a pen pal style of relationship.
What I mean is you two are not going to be seeing each other on any type of frequent basis. The best type of relationship either of you can hope for is what you have. Make sure he understands that you want him as a special person in your life but that you have no designs on him for a loving relationship other than as a friend. Hopefully he feels the same way.
I'm 27 years old, and have a complicated personality which sometimes i don't even understand myself ,and i'm tired of doing the same mistakes over and over ..
Since my divorce which been three years i've been in a relationship once and it only last three month, and till now i'm still under the spell of it ,it was the first time i experienced such feelings and couldn't heal completely because i felt the pain in a different way that i can't even describe ,it's been almost a year now and i began to accept it ,accept the reality and move on .
There is this guy one of my closest friends that is my ex's friend at the same time, he's really a nice guy and really a good friend you could ask for ,he helped me a lot in my problems with my ex and whenever we had a fight he was the one who patch things up .After we broke up after some time he started to act differently ,everything was different he changed and one day he confessed he was in love with me from the beginning but he had some self confidence issues and couldn't bare it anymore so he let everything out and i didn't say anything i was in shock because lately he was the only one that i could talk to and he was really a good friend i didn't expect it.
so after a while i started to feel something that maybe if i try i could be with him and i started to look at him differently ,i saw how he can be the perfect partner,lover,brother and father..and i thought to make a move and i did .
I was with my friends drinking so instead of going home i went to him,we talked laughed and suddenly i kissed him without even thinking and he was shocked obviously ,the day after he started to act like i was his girlfriend and started to stress me and i told him to stop it was my mistake and now i want some time i don't know what happened maybe it was because of the pressure i acted like that,,anyway after a week i missed him i went to him we talked and i did the biggest mistake ever i slept with him,and now i feel there's no coming back and its been 4 days we're in a relationship of course he's gonna think like that c'mon i slept with him ,i don't love him i understood that ,he's an amazing friend but i don't love him,after that kiss and then me wanting to end things made him think that i was playing with his feelings imagine what he would say now,,,i can't even imagine ,that's why i'm just going with it ,''maybe after some time i could love him'' that's the only thing that im thinking when im alone with myself ,am i acting or thinking stupid just help me out please,,i can't lose him as a friend and i don't want to sabotage my image in front of him because im important to him i know i made a mistake but my head was really confused.. :/
The quickest way to lose a friend is to be in a relationship with them and then to sleep with them. You are now at that point and it is a terrible place to be.
The quickest way to send him a message is to tell him you do love him but like a brother and it was wrong to have sex with him. It is also the worst thing a woman can tell a guy that is in love with her because you will hurt him to the quick especially after you have engaged in sex with him.
Essentially that is what you are going to have to say to him, that you value him more for his friendship than you do for a lover and possible husband. That sleeping with him was a mistake or you can leave that part out and say that it might be possible to be friends with benefits. something I would not suggest this though it is something you might want to think about.
So I have reason to believe I am depressed because of random things I have said to people (different things to different people) that have led to them questioning me on my behaviour and like all the symptoms of depression....
That's not really a reason to believe I am depressed, it's more like what confirmed it for myself. I have been feeling off for months and in the past few months and weeks the feelings of something being wrong inside have intensified.
My problem is I don't know what to do about it. I know I should get help of some kind but I just don't know how to seek it.
I am 18, in my first year of university, and living on campus, but still in my hometown. I could talk to my mom about what is going on, but I really really hate talking about my feelings and my relationship with my mom, while wonderful, does not make it easy for me to talk about deep stuff with her. What makes it worse is that I am not living at home, so I don't have a lot of opportunities to just sit and talk to her even if that's the way our relationship was.(Talking to my dad would be 50 times worse and more difficult). I could go to my family doctor I suppose, but I am terrified of my family doctor, so I don't want to do that.
I just don't know what to do, but I know something needs to happen because at times it is really hard to function and do what I need to do...
While I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist what I think you are feeling is what many freshman feel which can be classified as a form of depression.
Most colleges I am aware of have a health center on campus. Go to the health center and ask if the have a psychologist you can speak with. A psychologist is not a medical doctor rather they have a PHD in psychology and through talk therapy they can help you with what I believe is the root of your problem.
If there is not a psychologist on staff then ask to see the medical doctor. Explain to the medical doctor how you feel and ask to be referred to a psychologist off campus. You parents health insurance will cover most of the cost.
Hi.. 17 F..
I have dark brown long'ish hair, blue eyes and I wear glasses. I'm a bit overweight. I can't seem to find love?.. personally I don't think I'm that ugly but I don't think I'm gorgeous either. I can't flirt and is a bit shy. I have straight white teeth and a full mouth. I am really depressed because I feel loanly. Please help me? I like this boy at our church but he doesn't even look at me.. he is also a bit shy.. what should I do?
What I see first is you have a horrible self-image problem. Facial beauty is only skin deep. The real you lies below the surface. This is the person people fall in love with not the advertising of the outer beauty. Those tall blonde and blue eyed people can attract but have trouble keeping because there is no one home under the outer beauty.
You can color your hair and have it styled at a hair salon. You can talk to your eye doctor about contacts. A bit of lipstick and eye liner can go a long way in enhancing what you have. At most department stores they have people who will not only help you choose the right makeup but show you how to best use it for you.
As for being overweight you can diet an exercise or you can dress to show yourself in the best way. There are men who prefer women with a bit more weight on them as opposed to women that are skin and bones.
As for the boy you like at church you have two options. You can bite the bullet and go up to him and introduce yourself. Or you can ask the Pastor or someone else in the church who may know both of you to introduce you to him.
There are things you can do to enhance the outer you which should help you with your self-image problem as well. You can also speak with a psychologist who will help you find the reason for your self-image problem and help you deal with it in a more positive manner. Your parents health insurance from work should have an EAP program. This program is designed for something just like this.
Generally the EAP program will help you find a psychologist to talk with and pay for the first few sessions. If you feel more therapy is needed the health insurance takes over based on the contractual agreement. Ask you parents to get the number of one of their EAP program coordinators. It is a benefit and it is totally confidential.
17, F, (USA)
Now before anyone jumps on my for calling myself an idiot, it is because of the topic I decided to choose.
Allow me to explain, I am in a small sociology class at my local Tech-College. I am the only one at my location, and the teacher is often at other locations and teaches via conference call esque video feed to all the different locations. Anyway, a few weeks ago she was at my location and she was explaining our group project which is a presentation given on the last day of class.
Since I am the only student at my location, I chose to do it myself, rather than mess with trying to contact people who live 40 minutes away. She asked everyone what topic they chose to do it on, and when it came to me, I couldn't think of one, so I said the first thing that came to mind.
Abortion.
I chose abortion. The most overused and controversial topic I could have possibly chosen. So now I have to make a 7 minute long presentation on abortion that relates to the three social theories, and how it relates to society as a whole while not angering anyone and presenting it in a way that hasn't been done a hundred times before. Not only this, but I also have social anxiety, hate being the center of attention(so this project was already stressful enough), and I have 3 weeks to complete the presentation and I have no clue how to do it.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
First you’re not an idiot at least not in my book. You happened to choose a very timely topic given the results of the recent election. The recent election should give you plenty of material to work with on the, "How it relates to society today."
This could be the longer portion of your presentation given a Supreme Court Justice will be chosen who will most likely be the deciding vote on this issue for some time to come.
You’re the only student at your location so you can control your social anxiety as you will be the only one in the room. Place a mirror next to the camera or lap top you’re using to address the others. Look at the mirror not the camera or lap top so you are speaking to yourself as if your rehearsing your address at home in your room or dorm. Practice doing this at home or in your dorm and it will be easier for you when you make your presentation.
As to the three social theories: There are many to choose from. One I have is that abortion since Roe v Wade may be responsible for more promiscuity among younger more immature women because abortion is available on demand. You can also explore the relationship of abortion to the changes in unwed mothers and the changes or lack of change in society towards unwed mothers.
In a school that was built about 10 years ago near me. There was a federal mandate to include a nursery in the school to accommodate unwed mothers. This is another sociological change that I believe stems from the many modifications to Roe V Wade.
There are many topics on this subject you can choose from. Will they cause a debate? Probably because everyone has their own thoughts on this subject. Example a pro-abortion person could draw the line at late term abortion. Another subject that shows societies change to abortion since Roe v Wade.
Abortion is a very complex issue. Politically it is a liberal versus Conservative issue. It also is very much a religious issue for many of the pro Life supporters.
i noticed a white substance while i was fucking my girl does that mean some other guy jizzed in her?
Time for sex 101. In order for you to enter your girlfriend her vagina must be lubricated or you will cause her pain and injury. If you have turned her on she will self lubricate. IF you have really turned her on she will be extremely wet. IF so when you are copulating these lubricants her body has produced turn creamy. Sort of turning cream into butter.
No it does not mean you are getting sloppy seconds.
I want to know from a guy's point of view is it ok for a girl to ask a guy out?
Back in the dark ages of when your parents or even when your grandparents were your age a girl was considered very forward if she asked a boy out. The one exception was for the Sadie Hawkins Day Dance.
Today things are very different. No one thinks twice about a girl approaching a guy she likes if he hasn't approached her. Just make sure he isn't involved with someone else. Then if you know each other already go up to him and ask him if he would like to do something with you. IF you are not acquainted introduce yourself and tell him he looks like someone you would like to get to know better. Depending on you age you can then ask him to go out for coffee with you or whatever is appropriate for your age.
Well I was laying down on the catch and just searching for something watch. My mom walks in and asked, how was your day?
Me: it was good
Mom: was your day fun ?
Me: umm yeah I think so
Mom: what did your friends and you do today?
Me: just same old same old. Like talking
Mom: do you have an attitude today?
Me: I don't why ?
Mom: cause it seems like you don't wanna be bother
Me: I answered your questions and I didn't say it with an attitude. I just answered your question and there wasn't anything to add.
( mom says nothing and gets a drink and goes to her room)
So I'm a girl and even I don't act this crazy. She's always been a weirdo but I don't understand why I was treated like the bad guy.
I cannot give you a really good answer for two reasons. First I don't know you or your mother and second I wasn't there and didn't hear the conversation.
As to a possibility. It is possible mom had a bad day. Does she usually come home and have a drink? If not that should have been a signal something was not right with her day.
If she did have a bad day maybe she was looking to have a quiet conversation and relax. Of course you didn't know this and responded as is typical for the teenager I am assuming you are.
What I suggest for the future is you be more alert to mom when she speaks to you. If the questions she asked were not typical of her when she arrives home. That could be sign she may have had a bad day.
You need to respond with something like. You had a bad day mom? What can I do to make it better?
If you know how to put together a decent dinner then you could say. Hey mom why don't you go upstairs take a nice bath and let me cook dinner tonight. If you want to add a little levity you can add, I promise I won't burn the house down.
I don't think you did anything wrong and you are not the bad guy. I think you need to learn to key in to moms mood and be more sensitive to her moods. Just as she has had to be to yours as you have grown up and will continue to grow and mature.
I talked to a manger about a job and was told to call back later this week . How many days should i wait before calling back ?
If they want you they will call you. Most employers will only call if they want you. There are some who will call and thank you for coming for the interview and say they have selected another candidate. What you can do Today and should have done immediately upon arriving home is this.
After each interview type a short letter to the interviewer thanking them for the interview. It should read like this.
Dear
Thank you for taking the time to meet with me for the position of _______. I believe I possess the necessary skills and education for this position. I look forward to joining your team and becoming a valuable and productive member of
your organization.
Sincerely,
You can chose your own words though it should be something to this effect and just as short. This is your second chance to put yourself in front of the person you interviewed with. This letter also speaks volumes about you as few if any of your fellow applicants will take the time to send a letter like this.
Type up a letter like this in a business type format. If your not sure of what a business letter should look like your word processing program should have several templates to chose from. Save the letter to a file in your computer so that when you return home all you need do is type in the information such as the interviewer's name and the company name and address. Then sign it address an envelope and take it to a post office or mailbox that day.
You do this for every first interview and have a second letter ready with slightly different wording for any second interviews you may get.
So, I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years now, he is my best friend I love him and his family...this is the guy I will marry for sure.
Recently I have been given a new team manager, he is really handsome and funny. He is basically a massive improvement on my old manager which is refreshing.
So we have one to ones to update progress and fill out paper work you know that type of bull**** that work makes you do.
We both got on really well and found that we have a lot in common! (Despite the 7 year age gap)
We have had a few one to ones as I have been ill and he has to fill out forms and stuff, he has been really supportive and again its refreshing.
Anyway, so I keep seeing him look at me in the corner of my eye when I am at my desk and out of my whole team he will openly say, "dont you think shes amazing at her job?" And "your my favourite" he will out of the whole team start a convo with just me and ask me to do him favours and sends me emails which he again he says thankyou your amazing.
Now I happily offer to do favours for him and think hes a really nice guy, but I just keep feeling like he flirts and I like it, we have jokes and he tells me about his ex girlfriend, in the one to ones he tells me quite personal things about his life and in return I tell him things...I trust him I suppose.
We made this stupid song up about a new plan that has started at work that is clearly not working....and he was asked to sing the song by a team member, then he was like noo its something I could only do around....(me basically)
He asks about my relationship with my boyfriend and makes excuses for us to have to sit next to each other or have a one to one....I kind of like it....he asked me for my pen to use...we work in an office we can clearly get pens anywhere but he asked me....
I keep getting dreams that were together and getting down if you know what I mean and its making me feel guilty...
I keep imagining what will happen at the christmas party....the theme is "prom"....
I really fancy him but wouldnt ever act on anything....I just like the idea? Maybe? I love my boyfriend and like I said wouldnt act on it but....man I dunno I just dont know how I am supposed to feeel!
First; I advise against any type of office romance as nothing good can come for them. Worst case scenario one or both of you can be out of a job. From what you have written his actions toward you border on sexual harassment in the work place.
He is being overly flirtatious with you which does classify as harassment. Some of the comments he makes, "will openly say, "don't you think she's amazing at her job?" And "you’re my favorite." I can see this not sitting well with your fellow employees.
You should find away is tell him that his open praise of you is not just embarrassing but borders on the making of uncomfortable work place for the others which could lead to someone filling EEOC charges. You might also tell him that while you enjoy his friendship and office camaraderie you are deeply in love with your boyfriend and this friendship with him is just that a workplace friendship .
In other words succinctly and as delicately as possible put your cars on the table with him. If he continues to do as he is doing then I suggest you go to HR or his supervisor and report him for he is not supervising properly and he is surely harassing you and in affect stalking you.
i am a male around 30 years old i have been with the same girl for the past 8 years i know i dont have a STD i noticed that i pee a little bit randomly... me and my GF have really not had much sex in the past 18 months i was wondering if my muscles down there have become weak and that is the reason but i am sick of having yellow stains on the front of my briefs thank you for any help
P.S. i asked my doctor and she told me that i might just have a weak bladder but this just started happening in the past year and has gotten a little worse every month or so
I will assume you spoke with you primary care doctor. Primary care doctors know a little bit about everything but not a lot about any one thing.
The doctor you need to see now is a Urologist. This is a doctor who specializes in the care and treatment of the Urinary tract. If your problem is a weak bladder this doctor will or should be able to give you some relief.
Make sure the doctor you see is Board Certified in this Specialty. This means the doctor has done a Fellowship in Urology and has past all the test to be certified by the College of Urologists. If you do not know of any Urologists call your local hospital patient referral line. They will match you up with one of their doctor in your area.
Yesterday i made out with someone for the first time for really long and a lot of times. Now my ribs really hurt that it hurts to move it or stand up. Could it be from that?
Without knowing exactly what you two were up too I can't say for certain. Though if he was on top of you or hugging you to tightly it is very possible your ribs would hurt.
16/f
Ive never taken any form of drugs before, not even weed. I went out with this guy now and we hooked up he then said " have you ever taken drugs before?" So i said no and he said " well i took acid just before i came here so if you start to feel sick then yeah" and i feel nauseas is it possible its that?
I agree with Razhie this is more of a mind over matter thing. Which is reasonable given the circumstances. You don't do drugs which is good. Stay away from guys like him for at some point if you continue to see a guy like him he will want you to try whatever he is on. Most times a guy will not take no for an answer and continue to wear you down until you do.
When you do if your lucky all that will happen is he will take advantage of you. Generally this is in the form of a sexual nature you are not willing to go to.
Just so you know drugs and alcohol do not make sex or anything else better. They are not stimulants they are actually depressants. They depress pain and other feelings and in some cases give you an artificial high that isn't actually a feeling of good.
I'm a 33 year old female, I'm 5'8 average built, and I think I'm a cute person. I don't have self esteem issues, I look in the mirror and think of myself as cute. But no guys ever approach me that I'm even remotely interested in. It's always guys old enough to be my father, which completely grosses me out. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of older attractive men out there... I for one rather not date someone in their 60's... Ten years older than me is my limit. And that's usually who approaches me, or weirdo looking guys, I wouldn't dare go out with. I keep my make up nice and simple, I'm kinda a perfectionist when it comes to beauty, so my hair is always neat... I'm a cocktail waitress, and writer... So I see guys on the regular, at work.. Stores etc etc... Yet no one that I'm even at all attracted to approaches me. And let me put it out there, I'm not one of those females with imaginary high standards. You don't have to be the most handsome or rich dude out there... I just prefer someone I have some attraction to. Please don't suggest online dating... I've tried it... From the paid sites, to the free ones... No luck, I've only been approached by weirdos, old guys, dudes who were already in a relationship, or guys looking for a meal ticket, guys only wanting hookups... The first and only date I had... Which wasn't technically a date at all... We met at Starbucks, and I had to buy my own coffee... Let's just say we never talked again.... I can go on and on... But I won't, lol online dating is no longer an option for me... Yet I feel like without it I have no chance... I understand whomever is reading this doesn't know me personally... So you can't give the most accurate advice... But any little can help... I'm just so tired of being alone, I want love so bad it hurts...
My son has the type of job women are reluctant to get in a serious relationship with men in his type of work. He is a paramedic/firefighter. While firefighting is much safer than it use to be, firefighters and cops are two jobs where a wife never knows if her husband will be coming home at end of watch. This and the fact he was looking for a custom fit in an off the rack world kept him single for a long time.
I tell you this because from what you wrote you sound a bit like him. He did the online dating and until my daughter in-law, who has said at first she wasn't going to contact him because of his job, contacted him he went through a number of unsuccessful relationships.
You can find someone using the online sites either paid or free sights. Who you attract depends on what you write about yourself and what you are looking for. Given the fact of who you say you are attracting I believe you need to change how you complete the questionnaire.
I don't know you so I can't make any suggestions. My only advice would be to have a good close friend sit down with you and assist you in filling one of these questionnaires out.
I know myself that I am my own worst enemy, my boss told me this when I filled out my own annual review. Having someone who knows you well might change the what and how of what you say about yourself.
You sound like someone any man would be proud to take home to meet his mother. Some how that is not coming across in your dating site.
I am 14 and I am usually an A student. However on this certain maths test I got the worst mark I've ever gotten in my years in middle school. I didn't fail or anything but it was still pretty bad. I was upset not only because of that but also because we have a pretty bad teacher; she confuses us, like she first says it's that then she says it's the other way around. And some of the things on that test she didn't even teach us about. I am very upset as I found this unite easy usually.
Advice appreciated.
If you have a bad teacher or a teacher who is hard to understand and won't clarify what they are saying. The time to say something is when you first feel this way; not when you get a bad grade. Doing so now is like a mechanic blaming his tools for not correcting a problem with your car.
If as you say you do have a bad teacher or one you have trouble understanding you can not fix this yourself. You need to have your parents have a conference with the school principal to plead your case. You will be part of the conference at which time you can tell the principal how you feel about this instructor and why. Your parents can ask if another class is available for you to be moved to that class or you can be removed from that class and make it up over the summer or possibly at the community college in the evening.
These are the options available though your parents need to make the request.
Female, 15
I am part of a pretty close knit group of about 7 people. We spend every recess and lunch together and we catch up frequently. We always are talking on our group chat and sharing things in our Facebook group. They're all my best friends. However, because we're all growing, our group isn't what it used to be. People are finding new interests and changing/growing.
I am quite weird and random, and sometimes I guess I come across as annoying to those who don't understand my humour. I love philosophy and am very curious about the world. I love nature and music. My friends don't really have that in common with me.
Recently every time I talk none of them listen to me, or they tell me I'm annoying or something. They say it in a sort of joking way, but because they do it so much I'm thinking they actually mean it. It's not everyone but it's a few people in the group. They go "you're so annoyinggg haha". I've mentioned how much they say I'm annoying several times before, hoping they realise that it actually affects me, but they just ignore it.
Whenever I talk to them about the world and issues that I feel actually matter, they turn around and start talking about how bummed they are that they got a 70% on their math test.
They're generally nice, but they can be pretty two faced at times, and fake towards each other and me, but only occasionally.
Overall I am confused and am not sure what I should do. Advice would be appreciated!!
Everyone matures at a different rate. As we mature our interest and some of our values change as well. While our basic values hopefully remain as they were instilled in us we acquire some new values and opinions with them.
You are learning new things in school such as philosophy. This has meaning to you, is a subject you enjoy and wish to explore. For your friends it is most likely just another subject they must endure in order to graduate so they change the subject when you bring it up.
As for the world, well right now the world can be a scary place and while they should be paying attention they have chosen to ignore while you have chosen to take note and explore.
What to do about this. First don't give up on these friends just note that your interests and theirs are growing apart. That when you are with them in school that your interests need to be tabled unless they ask for your input.
For you and your interest you need to develop after school activities to further your curiosity and interests. Talk with your philosophy teacher to see if there is a philosophy club at school. If there is not find out if the teacher would be interested in forming one with you. The same is true with your other interests.
I will admit it has been many decades since I was in high school though I doubt things have changed all that much. There were clubs for almost any scholastic interest as an afterschool activity. You can also look at your local community college to see if they have any clubs that are of your interest you can join.
Most importantly is to sit down with your parents and tell them what you want and need in this area. It is our job as parents to help you cultivate these areas of interest. Why, because these areas of interest will help you when you start to apply for college. Which is why I believe you will find these activities in school if you ask. These interest you are developing are interest's that come with maturity and both the interests and your level of maturity are what colleges look for on your application.
So let's start with I have three kids my oldest daughter is 12 my son is 10 and my younger daughter is 3. In June we moved so me and my husband relocated about 5 hours away from our old home for job purposes. In August the older kids started school. Ever since my son has talked about new friends and clubs and classes. But my daughter on the other had is now very boxed in and unlike our own home has had no sleepovers or friends over. I thought this was just her starting to block me out as a teen but the other night she came and cried to me about not having friends and wanting to move again. She is a very nice girl and I'm now regretting the move. It seems her old friends have blocked her out too. PLEASE HELP😭
This is a problem of teenagers and middle school all over. By the time girls more than boys reach middle school they have developed their inner circle of friends or clicks if you wish. They are very protective of these circles and outsiders are not easily welcomed.
As wrong as it sounds and is in order to gain access to any of the popular groups she has to bring something to their group the either need or want. I truly don't support this action as it only affirms in the others how they can dictate the actions of others.
My best suggestion is for your family to join the religious organization of your choice and have your daughter get active in their programs for teens a girls. You can also look to your local parks and recreation for programs for teenagers and teenage girls. Many of these programs are group participation type programs that require the groups to interact and work together in teams. From teamwork friendships can be built.
Most importantly though you must get her to realize it is not her. It is the others and she is the new kid and it will take time but she will make friends. It all starts with one friend and builds from their.
Also very important for a teenage girl is to have the in style cloths to wear to school. If your budget can afford it make sure she has a couple of stylish outfits for school. Designer labels are what counts.
As for her old friends unfortunately she is gone and out of sight. They have moved on without her.
Pamper her a bit to make up for the hurt but do not spoil her.
I don't know if this would cause to continue to have meltdowns and Anxiety today but about 4 years ago I saw a drive by shooting in front of my house while I watching my 9 year old nephew and my 2 of my nieces who were 13 at the time of the shooting. I did have these meltdowns before the incident but I have noticed that they have been more frequent after the shooting. I still have issues with it like when I am outside on the porch and a car drives by and the exhaust goes off I cover my head and start crying.
I use to wakeup in the middle of the night screaming, luckily that no longer happens. I also still have severe panic attacks when I am cousins when I hear my cousins hunting dear in the nearby woods.
I am not a psychologist though what you have written sounds like something that would cause a PTSD type event. This is something you should discuss with your therapist as it is the type of thing the therapist can definitely help you with.
I still believe you need to see a psychiatrist for the other issues if for no other reason than to get a medical doctor to confirm the diagnoses. Your psychologist is not a medical doctor. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is a Medical Doctor better trained to treat the problems you described.