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humorist-workshop
I have a boyfriend and have a crush on my boss...
So, I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years now, he is my best friend I love him and his family...this is the guy I will marry for sure.
Recently I have been given a new team manager, he is really handsome and funny. He is basically a massive improvement on my old manager which is refreshing.
So we have one to ones to update progress and fill out paper work you know that type of bull**** that work makes you do.
We both got on really well and found that we have a lot in common! (Despite the 7 year age gap)
We have had a few one to ones as I have been ill and he has to fill out forms and stuff, he has been really supportive and again its refreshing.
Anyway, so I keep seeing him look at me in the corner of my eye when I am at my desk and out of my whole team he will openly say, "dont you think shes amazing at her job?" And "your my favourite" he will out of the whole team start a convo with just me and ask me to do him favours and sends me emails which he again he says thankyou your amazing.
Now I happily offer to do favours for him and think hes a really nice guy, but I just keep feeling like he flirts and I like it, we have jokes and he tells me about his ex girlfriend, in the one to ones he tells me quite personal things about his life and in return I tell him things...I trust him I suppose.
We made this stupid song up about a new plan that has started at work that is clearly not working....and he was asked to sing the song by a team member, then he was like noo its something I could only do around....(me basically)
He asks about my relationship with my boyfriend and makes excuses for us to have to sit next to each other or have a one to one....I kind of like it....he asked me for my pen to use...we work in an office we can clearly get pens anywhere but he asked me....
I keep getting dreams that were together and getting down if you know what I mean and its making me feel guilty...
I keep imagining what will happen at the christmas party....the theme is "prom"....
I really fancy him but wouldnt ever act on anything....I just like the idea? Maybe? I love my boyfriend and like I said wouldnt act on it but....man I dunno I just dont know how I am supposed to feeel!
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Don't worry hon. You're a normal female. Theres a saying I've heard, "I may be Wed, but I'm not dead, I still have eyes in my head". I would assume the same goes for any committed relationship like your own.
Females and males may be in love with just one special person, but we all love it when someone of the opposite sex notices us and flirts. I think it helps us to feel better about ourselves. Maybe helps to build ones self esteem a little.
This sort of situation happens all the time, especially where two people see each other on a regular basis like at work or they get their morning coffee at the same little shop every day.
I am in late 50s and work in fast food. Most people there are way younger but there is always one or two males close to my age. I am married, my coworkers all know my husband cus he's worked there before too. But in two different locations, I have picked up on the personal interest and stuff that womens intuition will tell you are flirts but not obvious ones, like asking you for a pen. Age doesnt matter, I still know that there are men who know I am married, and make no move to have an affair with me. They are honorable but I can tell that working with me, is like a bright spot in their day, it makes work that is usually the same old drudgery to feel more fun and exciting even tho we'd never act on it.
Keep in mind that people can send out vibes so that even if single but not interested in a relationship, people can feel those vibes and stay away. Its done at a subconscious level so most aren't aware of it. So as long as the vibes you are sending out say, I enjoy your company at work but thats as far as it goes, I'm off the market, then you shouldn't have any problems and you don't need to feel guilty about it.
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First; I advise against any type of office romance as nothing good can come for them. Worst case scenario one or both of you can be out of a job. From what you have written his actions toward you border on sexual harassment in the work place.
He is being overly flirtatious with you which does classify as harassment. Some of the comments he makes, "will openly say, "don't you think she's amazing at her job?" And "you’re my favorite." I can see this not sitting well with your fellow employees.
You should find away is tell him that his open praise of you is not just embarrassing but borders on the making of uncomfortable work place for the others which could lead to someone filling EEOC charges. You might also tell him that while you enjoy his friendship and office camaraderie you are deeply in love with your boyfriend and this friendship with him is just that a workplace friendship .
In other words succinctly and as delicately as possible put your cars on the table with him. If he continues to do as he is doing then I suggest you go to HR or his supervisor and report him for he is not supervising properly and he is surely harassing you and in affect stalking you.
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