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Everything Teen-What you need to know but can't ask

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Asheville, NC area

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homemaker

Age:

23

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ncblondieadvice

Member Since:

July 12, 2005

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Last Update:

May 23, 2006

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about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

I asked a question about wisdom teeth not too long ago. Thanks to those that answered (with helpful answers). The operation was today, and all went well (except for the pain i'm experiencing lol). I'm just wondering how long should I be biting on gauzes? Are there certain amount of hours after the extraction? Or it it until my lips don't feel numb anymore? Or what? Thanks a lot!

You should keep the gauze on until the bleeding stops. Just replace the gauze if it gets soaked.

It's natural for your lips to feel numb. It should wear off in a few hours.

I have the weirdest phobia (Well to me) I can not swallow pills. My sister used to have trouble with it too, but she eventually got over it. My younger brother has ADD so he has to have pills so he it's no problem for him. But when I was little I had choked on something and I blacked out before it was dislodged, and even though I know it's not going to happen just because I try swallowing a pill, I still have a "pill phobia". Anyway is there anything I can do that will help me get over it. Or just ways to make swallowing pills easier? I'm almost 15, and a sophmore in high school, and I'm still telling doctors when I'm sick that I need a liquid or chewable, I don't want to be an adult doing the same thing. It's embarassing. I have friends that won't swallow a pill unless they have to, but even if it was the only way, I'd rather just be sick. So if you have tips on making swallowing pills easier or just getting over the phobia, please let me know!! Thanks in advance!

It's natural to for some people to have problems swallowing a pill no matter what their age.

Try starting out with smaller pills that are coated. They tend to go down easier. Place the pill as far back on your tongue as you can and wash it down with lots of water.

This is going to sound so stupid. But I've been noticing some hair under my arms and its getting really dark so I want to shave it. The only problem is that my mom and sister shave their underarms but it leaves bumps and little black stubs/dots. Is there anyway that I can shave and not get any stubble? Like if you shave with a certain razoe, is it possible to have NO stubble? Any tips on shaving would be great! Sorry so long. Thanks!

Making sure to use a sharp, multi-blade razor and shaving often may help. It's also possible that the bumps and dots are because the skin is irritated. Try using a shave gel made for sensitive skin and using a moisturizing deodorant/antiperspirant such as Dove. A last option is to use a product such as Nair or wax the area.

my mom is always saying im ugly. last sunday for church, i let my hair dry into natural curl/waves and she said it was ugly and i should brush it (badddd idea) and wear some makeup because my face looked "bad". i didnt wear earrings & she always says i look bad when i dont wear them. when i do wear makeup for other occasions she says i look like a prostitute. i dont know what to do anymore! i cant always be best dressed and miss cheerful like she was when she was my age. shes always telling me how thin she was and how everyone liked her figure just to rub it in my face that i have no womanly shape. my dad says i look ok because he sees what it does to my self esteem. everytime i get the slightest blemish, shes the first to point it out. i hate it! someone please help me! any advice will help! ill rate 5s...

Tell your mom that you are not her and that her remarks are hurting you and your self esteem. While it's normal for parents to be concerned about you and offer advice, making hurtful remarks is not the way to help. Your mom needs to realize that you are a completely different person than you and what worked for her may not work for you.

If you can't talk to your mom yourself, talk to your dad and have him talk to your mom. It's obvious that he sees what your mom's remarks are doing to you.

Good luck. I hope this works out for you.

I am seventeen, and I've had my period for about 4 years. It has always been regular [never late. always early or on time.] Right now it's 2 weeks late, and I know irregular periods are completely normal for someone who's had it for a couple years. But shouldn't it be pretty regular by now? I am NOT sexually active, so there is no way I am pregnant. (My mom is freaking out and telling me to confess already, ha.) Anyways, should I be a little worried that it's THIS late?

It's normal to have occasional variations on your period, even after 4 years. Dietary changes, illness, exercise changes, stress, even medications can have an effect on your period.

Since you mom is freaking out, ask her to take you to the gyno for a checkup. Your gyno can confirm the fact that you're still a virgin (which will calm her down) and see what's causing your period to be late.

Well I'm not sure what category my subject fits into. so i picked "Health&Fitness->injuries"
I'm 11/F. I'm always sooo depressed in many ways. One of my easy solutioons is that i cut myself. Cutting myself seems like a drug. it always relieves me. I don't know why i do it though. And i don't know why i'm so depressed. I need help now! but i just don't know how i can tell my parents w/out them freeking out. I also starve myself too. but it doesn't seem like that because i'm never hungry. Everybody hates me. My friends are becoming backstabbers. people that are in my class talk about me. and it just doens't seem right. I'm not sure if thats the reason i'm so depressed but i reallly really need help now!!. Please. I'll rate high if the answer to my question is descent. Thanx sooooooooooooo much.

Just like any drug, this can cause an awful lot of damage to your body. You've made the first step by admitting you have a problem and want to get help. Now you need to make another step into getting help.

Tell your parents what you've told me here. The two basic points you need to get across to them are:
1) You're depressed. It's not just a mood, it's been going on for a while.
2) You're harming youself because of this depression. You need help.

Unless your parents are aware that something's going on with you, this is going to come as a big surprise to them. However, they should be supportive of you and assist you to get the help you need. If you don't feel that you can talk to them face-to-face, I think you have three choices:
1) Write them a letter telling them what you've said here.
2) Pull up the site below on the computer and tell them you need them to read it
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
3) Print out a copy of your question that you posted here and give it to them.

If they try to pass it off as just hormones, go to someone else. This can have serious consequences on your health and your life if untreated. The site I listed above is a great resource for dealing with self-injury. I suggest you read it yourself. It will help you understand why you cut and how to deal with it.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

Does anyone know any exercises that can help me get rid of the excess fat on my sides, right above my hipbones? Nothing I do seems to work and I'm finding it hard to maneuver myself to wear I'm targeting that area.

Thanks in advance.

Exercise will help tone the area but you also need to diet to get rid of the fat. Here's a few exercises that will help.

Cross Crunch
Lie on your back, knees bent, so your left foot is resting flat on the floor. With your right knee bent, place your right foot across your left knee. Your neck and head should be relaxed with your left hand at the side of your head and your right hand on the left side of your abdominals. Curl your body up with a twisting movement, bringing your left shoulder toward your right knee. "Unwind" as you slowly lower yourself back to the floor—touch your shoulders to the floor and repeat.

Torso Twist
Sit on the floor with your knees bent and feet flat, about hip-width apart. Extend your arms straight in front of you, and lace your fingers. Tighten your abdominal muscles and lean back about 45 degrees toward the floor. With your abs taut, rotate your torso toward the right as far as comfortably possible. Be sure to move your upper body (head, shoulders, arms, chest, and abs) in unison; don't lead with your arms. You should be looking in the same direction your hands are pointing throughout the move. Hold, then return to center and twist to the opposite side. That's one rep. Do 2 sets of 10-12 reps with a one minute break in between sets.

Seated Knee Drop
Sit back on your hipbones and place your hands on the floor behind you for balance. Bend your knees, press your ankles together, and lower your legs to the right. Contract your abdominals and obliques and slowly pull your legs up and over to the left. Repeat from side to side for 1 minute. Be sure to use your muscles, not momentum, to do the work.

Seated Torso Twist
Sit on the floor with your back straight, knees bent, and feet flat on the floor about hip-width apart. Extend your arms straight in front of you, and place your hands together, palms and fingers touching. Contract your abdominal muscles and lower your torso about 45 degrees, keeping your back straight. With your back straight and abs taut, rotate your torso toward the right as far as comfortably possible. Be sure to move your upper body in unison; don't lead with your arms. You should be looking in the same direction that your hands are pointing throughout the move. Pause, return to center, and repeat to the opposite side.

Side Plank
Lie facedown on the floor with your upper body propped on your forearms and your elbows directly beneath your shoulders. Roll your body over to the right side, supporting your torso on your right forearm, raising your hips, and stacking your feet so your body forms a straight plank. Put your left hand on your hip. Hold 5 to 10 seconds, then switch sides.

Bicycles
Lie faceup on the floor, legs extended, hands loosely behind your head. Slowly lift your torso off the floor and bring your left elbow across your body, while bending your right knee and lifting your leg toward your chest as far as comfortably possible. Hold, then lower back to start. Repeat, alternating sides. You should be twisting your torso, not your neck.

Standing Crossover
Stand with your feet a few inches apart. Bend your arms and hold them out to the sides, so they form right angles with your hands toward the ceiling, palms facing forward. Contract your abs and pull your right knee and left elbow toward one another. Pause, and return to start. Complete a set, then switch sides.

how do you know if you have an std without getting tested

Since a lot of STDs do not have visible symptoms, there's no way of knowing for sure without being tested. If you think you may have an STD, go for testing immediately. Many STDs are treatable, if not curable, if caught in time. This is not something you should waste a lot of time with since leaving an STD untreated can lead to serious damage to your body and fertility, and even death.

Everyone says you can get cute things in thrift stores. Do they mean ones like good will and salvation army? How do I know if it's a good one? Im looking for accessories by the way.

I get most of my clothes from thrift stores. For the most part they look brand new (I have found clothes with the tags still on them before.) and are much cheaper than buying them new. My wedding gown actually came from a thrift store. It had been wore once and was in perfect condition.

Goodwill and Salvation Army do have some good deals from time to time. Some churches and community organizations also run thrift stores.

I generally shop in the thrift stores that are clean, well-organized, have items in your size, and that are in a decent price range. Clothing that has minor stains or easily mended tears are fine but I would steer away from clothes that are extremely stained or in poor shape. Check around at the stores in your area to get a general idea of prices.

if u gave a guy head, and they didnt cum could you still get a STD or aids?

Yes. If he has a sore anywhere on the parts that touched your mouth and you had a cut on your mouth, you can transfer STDs.

my boyfriend goes to a vocation school or whatever and he is going to be a junior, which means all the freshman girls are going to be in his shop classes. it makes me so nervous and he says nothing will happen but i know how girls can be liek and how guys can be like. i am stressing alot badly and i dont know what to do=( help please

I think the question is do you trust him? You have to realize your boyfriend has 2 years on these girls. He's probably already saw all the tricks they might throw at him so he should be able to realize that they are only "tricks" not true feelings like he has with you. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless you have a reason not to trust him.

Also, guys like to be able to talk to their girlfriends about something. You could show a little interest in shop yourself. Even if you don't like it, he'll appreciate the fact that you took an interest in something he enjoys and he'll remember that when he meets these girls that probably just took shop to catch an older guy.

Good luck.

i am going to be going away for a week to aruba and that means : no cell phone service.. i might be ablt to talk to my boyfriend somedays but maybe not. i am going to miss him so much and i want to do soemthing special with him before i go, im scared he`ll cheat=( even thought i doubt he wont it still makes me scared.. anything sweet i could do?.. i was goin to right a note telling him how much i cared and stuff and sneak it in his wallet but is there anything we could do the night before? thanksss♥

Writing a note for him to find after you're gone is a good way to make sure he doesn't forget about you.

You could take a small box and decorate it. Write short little notes to him for each day you'll be gone and put them in the box. That way he's just got to open the box and pull out a note every day that you're gone to be reminded of you and how you feel. Give it to him the night before but tell him not to open the box until the next day.

A romantic picnic or even candle-lit dinner would also work. Scented candles are great because every time he smells that scent he'll think of you and your picnic/dinner. Make sure your couple's song is playing during dinner You can even slow-dance under the stars after you finish eating.

You might consider investing in a prepaid calling card so you can talk even while you're gone without it costing too much. Another option is sending him a letter each day when you can't call him.

Good luck. Have fun on your vacation.

I am applying for a job at clothing store, and on the application it asks why I am applying for this position. The honest answer is because I need the money, but I know you're not supposed to say that on applications. So what should I say instead? Thank you.

Put that you like fashion, enjoy helping people pick out clothing, or that you're looking for experience in the sales.

Generally at an interview they'll ask you again why you applied. Other common questions I've been asked and also asked while I was a manager myself include:
Why should we hire you?
Why do you want to work here?
What are your goals?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?
Tell me about yourself.
What are your strengths?
What are your weaknesses?
What do you consider your greatest achievement so far and why?
Define sucess.
Do you work well in a high-paced setting?
If an angry customer came in, how would you handle them?

Good luck.

okay.. i cheated on my ex and he found out and broke up with me. Now.. hes threatening me and everyone that knew and didn't tell him about it. He won't say what hes going to do to us.. he just keeps saying he knows people to "take care of it"

Hes overage and we had sex.. so if he trys to hurt me.. can i get him on a statutory rape charge? -- my parents dont know we had sex...

and also.. what should i do about the threats?

This just goes to show that age doesn't necessarily bring maturity.

Since he's overage, he can be arrested for statuatory rape as well as contributing to the delinquency of a minor if the authorities think there's enough evidence. I suggest telling your parents now before he does try to hurt you. Then go to your local law enforcement and file a complaint. It's better to have his threats on record before he makes his move.

Hey there, I am a 20 year old MALE with a serious hair dilema! My hair is naturally thick, dry, curly and quite rebellious aka the worst hair you can have for styling lol!
A few monthes ago I got my hair chemically straigtened, and it did wonders for me combined with my ghd straighteners, after SO long I have GREAT looking hair! I wash it everyday with Aussie shampoo and conditioner, and straighten it everyday also using my ghd's and tre semme heat protect.
But after a while, no matter what I do, the ends look frizzy and unhealthy and its REALLY starting to annoy me! I get them cut off every four weeks, but they keep coming back!
I refuse to stop straighteneing it everyday, because I have so much more confidence with my new hair now that its straight and styled, I have done everything I can, even the heat protect spray!

HELP!!!

It sounds like the chemical straightening may have damaged your hair. Try using a shampoo made specifically for processed hair. The bottle usually says for colored or permed hair. I would also suggest getting a nourishing conditioner. It will help replenish the vitamins and minerals in your hair. You might also consider getting a deep conditioning treatment or a hot oil treatment and using it once a week until your hair gets back to it's normal health.

i want to learn to juggle.. any tips. do you know any good websites that tell you how and stuff?

This link provides links to other juggling sites with tips and trips. This is the International Jugglers Association website so I think the links should prove helpful.

http://www.juggle.org/howtojuggle.shtml

Just be patient and keep at it. Clear your head before trying to juggle so you can focus on the rhythm. It's fairly easy once you get your hands coordinated.

Good luck.

I was playing a game on my boyfriend's mini iPod and it froze. I can't do anything with it, I hooked it up to the white charge cord. But it didn't do anything. I tried finding out how to fix this on google but all I can find is wait for the battery to run out then charge it up. Does anyone know anything else I can do to unfreeze it? Its a 4GB by the way if that helps any.

This is the tech support page for the iPod. You should be able to find an answer there.
http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=61705

ok I have a pool and i go swimming like everyday but my hair is getting very damaged from it. Like I take a shower but my hair just look damaged in a way I can't describe its just not silky. Its kind of like it looks scragly and unbrushed. I don't want to stop swimming.

Does anyone know any products or things I could do to make my hair healthy again. Please help I rate high!

A natural remedy to bring your hair's health back can be made by combining 1 egg, 1/2 eggshell full of olive oil, and 1/4 peeled cucumber in a blender and blending until smooth. Massage into hair and leave on for 10 minutes then rinse well.

Another natural remedy is to wet hair in shower then massage 1/4 cup tomato juice through your hair and let sit for 5 minutes. Rinse well then shampoo as usual. This will help pull the green out of your hair.

Try putting a leave-in conditioner in your hair before getting into the water. It will help protect your hair. Rinse your hair as soon as you get out of the pool to minimize the damage. A moisturizing shampoo such as Dove will restore nutrients to your hair.

my mom and my doctor want me on birth control, and its up to me what type to use..so i was wondering whats better, the patch -- or the pill..please help me make my decision!

It depends on which is more convenient for you. If you can't remember to take the pill daily, then I wouldn't go on it. It's only effective if you take it correctly. If you can remember once a week to put a new patch on, then that's the one for you. Personally I've always taken the pill. I made it part of my bedtime routine so I wouldn't forget it. That's just me though. I tend to forget stuff unless I do it everyday.

HEllo again!
Thanks for the advice!
Im just owrried about my raised scar a little more because of the fact that its raised and the skin is tougher and that it also itches somewhat.
Do those factors increase the likelihood of the scar to stay?
THANKS AGAIN!

It's common for a blister to still be raised, feel a little tougher and itch while it's healing. Basically it's forming a hard cover to protect the healing skin beneath.

I blistered my thumb over the fourth of July weekend. By using anti-bacterial soap every time I washed my hands, keeping triple-antibiotic ointment on it, using vitamin e cream and just being patient, it healed up without a mark and now a month later you can't even tell where I got blistered.

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