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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

So, I have a second instagram that I use to quotes and stuff (do bacically not a personal). Well my friend just made hers this week and has more followers than me. And now she's trying to help me and its so annoying. It's like so brags when she's trying to help me.😠 I should have more followers than her.😞😒 I just don't like it, but when ever I try to tell her how I feel she just doesnt listen or she'll just say " no I don't" what do I do?

What's wrong with using Facebook to create a page. You need to have a basic interest of your own that prompts you to create a page. For example I have a daughter who is very much into Cosplay. So she created a page where she shows people photos of her in costume at several different conventions. Posts lots of helpful pics and links to people who provide like the wigs, colored contacts, etc..
She even created own out of her love for her cat and posted photos of her cat.

Do not let anyone help you. Whatever you create should be your own. I think you may be trying to find some self worth by seeing "numbers" of people who follow you. Hon, that is not the way to build up your self worth. Sorry I had to be blunt about it. Maybe its a shock to you but the goal should be first to build up your self image, becoming happy and satisfied with who you are inside at core.. .to a point where you do not Need to have followers of anything. Then when you create something, there is a better energy behind it and it will attract people with similar interests. This has been bothering you for quite some time. I believe you may have written in before. There is no magic wand or wish upon a star that will make you happy. If you don't learn now how to find joy within...you will have the same problems throughout your whole life...always feeling you don't measure up to others and being unhappy. the reason you will never measure up to being exactly like someone else is "Because you are not supposed to measure up." Each one of us is a unique creature. You just need to discover who you are and only then will you succeed at anything. It is like you are the round peg trying to fit into a square hole. You were never meant to.

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how do you show someone how much they mean to you if you dont see them ?

How do you show anyone that you care about them. We all have what is called our love language. We tend to show that we care about someone alot or love them by the way that we like to be shown love. That doesn't work if lets say the person you want to show love for only recognizes "Quality time" when you are "Giving gifts". Its not as meaningful to them. There are 5 love languages.
I have already mentioned two. the rest are:
Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Physical touch. If you are doing the long distance relationship thing, then you can see that acts of service and physical touch are going to be impossible to do in case that was the love language of the person you care about.

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I am a young 46 yr old Grammy to two boys ages 8 yrs old and 20 months old. I am extremely close to them as well as my daughter, mother and father. I got fired from my job in 2011 and have been unemployed since. I have been watching my grandsons (older one in school during school year) everyday mon - fri 9 hrs a day since then.
I got married last September to a man I've known since childhood. He has been living in North Carolina since he was 18 but moved back up here 5 yrs ago. He wants so badly to move back down there because he has a captains license and can easily find work there. Work that he enjoys. There are not many opportunities here in pittsburgh for a boat captain. He is very unhappy here. I too adore the Carolina's but am having a difficult time moving away from my family. I moved myself and my daughter to Florida when she was just 4 yrs old but returned to pa within 2 yrs because she missed my mom and dad so much. I've been sacrificing for my family my entire life. My daughter thinks its terrible for me to move so far away from my grandsons. Half of me wants to move to nc and make my husbands dreams come true but the other half can't bear the thought of saying goodbye to my grandsons. My question to you is, should I stay or should I go?

So if I understand right, the man you married was living in your area and knew how much your family meant to you. Did you two at any time before marriage discuss moving around for jobs if it became an issue? I am a grandma too. We worked for work. It didnt pan out. Right now broke and trying to scrape money together to go back to family. Hubby and I have 4 daughters between us all in the same area. Being away from them for no matter what the reason, has made me realize how important my family is to me. Daughter just got dumped by boyfriend and I couldn't be there to hug and hold her. I have a granddaughter and miss her so much too. I have been away for a year and a half. We know we must go back. If we had to, We would live like poor people, what ever it takes, all that matters is "being there for them"

If you know already now that it would break your heart to be away from them, then you have to be honest with the new husband. It wasn't like you married someone who was already living in another state at the time of your marriage. You assumed you'd get to stay in the area to be with your family and be married to him.

Like you said, you feel like you've always sacrificed your wants and desires for others.
Moving just so he can be happy, would be sacrificing again. Maybe its one of your lessons to learn in life and it is Not being selfish.
From what you said, it sounds like hubby has a job, its just that its not where his heart is. Thats too bad. He made a commitment to you. However if he lost his job, you'd have to move if he found work there. With the economy the way it is, that is possible in the future still.
So you two need to have a heart to heart talk. No blaming of each other. Just the facts. In the long run, can he squash his dreams and be happy staying with you? Or is the sacrifice too big? He could even become resentful feeling, towards the situation, not you, and that can affect the marriage. It may come down to him having to make a choice between you and captaining a ship. I think your decision has already been made. Good luck dear

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i feel like i sould get over him and find someone real like i have never met him and sure hes a good guy but not really if i havent met him once in 5 years but he says he wants to all the time but im always so busy and i dont know if he still feels this way and he says he wants to take it to the next level but i dont know what that would be and he asked me if i wanted to move in with him i do but i dont see that is posable ?

If you are looking for a relationship, you need to know if the guy really loves you or not. Dont move in with him unless you're simply looking for a roommate and it doesnt matter if its a male or a female as long as they pay their half. Am I right in guessing this is a long distance relationship if you only met once? Those can turn out, some do but the majority don't for several reasons.
1. being that one person has to change schools or jobs and that is a big one, to go live with the other.
2. It is impossible to truly know a person until you have spent time in their company. I have met plenty guys online who talked my talk but were unable to walk my talk in person.
3. everything may be perfect about him but when you start having the intimate sexual part of relationship on a regular basis, you may discover that the excitement of the first night masked what it was really like (NRE,new relationship energy) and you find that you don't have any sexual chemistry at all or not enough for your liking.
4. Some of the main signs of whether a guy loves you cant be proven in text or phone calls, it can only happen in real life in each others presence.

If I understood this wrong and you have extra information for me, let me know by writing to my inbox on my column

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i just started sleeping in my lil sis room cuz she no longer lives there so she said i could have it when she did live there she woke up and a earwig was cralling on her and her room is damp i felt this one nice when i was sleeping in her room i wouldent care if an earwig would go in my ear or like wake up and i feel like there is an earwig in my ear and im a women and wondering do Canadian earwigs hiss ? does it hurt alot ?

Can't remember where I heard it but earwigs don't have a natural craving for ears...that its an old wives tale. If you are feeling like something is in your ear...it could be a buildup of a small amount of fluids. It may or may not go into ear infection but I have had this happen a couple times. It can tickle like i have something in my ear. I might even hear a pop or gurgle but usually itching will come along at some point. It only happens during summer or when there are spring and fall allergens around. I am not a highley allergic person and often do not have any symptoms of hayfever some years. Other years I do. I dont have to have itchy eyes and sneeze for my ears to act up, they do it all on their own so most people who never get allergies are left wondering whats wrong with their ears. If there is no inflammation of an ear infection, seeing a regular dr. won't help. If you believe it may be allergy related, you can always try an over the counter allergy relief medication to see if it will help. Better yet, go see an allergist specialist and find out what you may be allergic to and if it is causing your ears to feel that way. If the problems persists year round, you may want to see an ear,nose and throat specialist

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So I've been off my period for about a week or so and I have yellow discharge. I've looked up what it means & it says infections. Well I'm not itchy or anything. It's just yellow. Is it normal?

Your vagina is its own ecosystem and when healthy, it cleans itself out. I'm in menopaurse now but remember Between periods finding a yellow crust like secretion dried on my panties. Sometimes some hairs dried in with it so I felt a twinge like someone yanking hairs when I tried to remove panties. That is all natural. Nothing to worry about. If no itching or bad odor, all is well.
I may as well warn you now that using soap or douches can and will upset the natural balance of the bacterias in your vaginal area. There are good bacteria there that help keep the bad bacteria from overtaking and causing vaginitis and other infections. Using soaps and douches washes away and kills the good bacteria. Just use plain water in a sitz bath or in your shower, swish a couple fingers around inside you and rinse off any residue that comes out with. Plain water on the labia is enough to cleanse also.

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How do males masturbate????

By using their hand on their penis and moving it up and down in a rhythmic motion to simulate having sex.

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you answered a question a few days ago about a guy that stopped texting me and that I should text him first because he probably thinks I blew him off. but before that when we were texting we took like a 9 day break then started texting then stopped like I said. then yesterday he texted me hey and we talked neither of us didn't bring up to hangout we were just catching up on stuff. and I said something and was like I guess I miss seeing you all the time lol and he was like lol aww thankyou. he said he appreciates being missed because I asked why he said thankyou I mean I didn't expect to say it back but im like really confused

I am not sure what to say. It sounds like the only relationship you have is one of texting each other, not being in each others company and experiencing things in life together.
To be honest, I did not grow up in such a technological era. The very first computers were available when I married but not user friendly no windows and no email, no cell phones. I enjoy the technology but I never over rely on it as a method of trying to meet someone and start a relationship.
Texting and computers should just be looked at as a tool.You want to plant a flower, you use a spade to dig the hole. Texting is a nice supplement to an already established relationship. Men don't make commitments like women do. Their brain is wired different. Women have to communicate and be blunt to know where they stand with him. So you can say, Looks like we both enjoy texting each other. I was wondering if you are ready to go to the next level and actually hang out together in person dating. If he says no...ask why. And don't take it hard if he just isn't into you other than a female friend he texts sometimes. I have a feeling you are looking for more than that in a guy. AAnd they are out there. If he isn't wanting to date, then be nice and texting friends only with him but turn your search towards other guys for a potential relationship.

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I love my boyfriend. We've been together for 2 years, but he's my first boyfriend.

He wants to marry me eventually. He's positive about it. He tells me all the time. And I love him so much and he's my best friend...

But I feel like... we're not right for the long run. I feel like we're perfect for each other at this point in our lives though.

But I know I'd never be sure about marriage with him since I've never dated anyone else.

I'm happy, but I feel like I'm still not sure what I want in a relationship because I haven't had experience with other guys...

But, is it okay to date someone you don't want to marry as long as you're both happy at the time?

Am I being unfair by staying in the relationship when he wants marriage? Is it okay to date someone you love but don't think you'll marry?

We're both happy and we both love each other... but looking to the future... I feel like he's not the one. Though I always want him to be my best friend.

we're not right for the long run
I'd never be sure about marriage with him
date someone you don't want to marry
I feel like he's not the one

Those are all your own statements. It means your inner voice is telling you something. You already know that he is not the one so staying with him is counter-productive to you.
Staying with him when you already know the eventual outcome is like knowing you are allergic to nuts and what reactions you have to live with in the end, but eating them anyways. It doesn't make sense. Do not be shocked if he can't handle remaining best friends when you leave him. But that is no reason to stay with him.
A marriage needs a couple to be best friends, but the sex half of a marriage is just as important. So there needs to be some really strong chemistry there. Also, you want someone who have very similar hopes and dreams and goals. If you both are pursueing interests and goals that take you in opposite directions, no matter how nice he treats you and how good the sex, you will eventually drift apart. So you're looking for a combo of all three. Good luck dear!


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I met a wonderful man just two months ago, and we've been dating seriously since. He's fantastic and I think we both see a future together - but I got some big news yesterday that could change everything:

I will be moving halfway around the world, to Kenya, for work in about eight weeks.

The boyfriend, "Tim", has a successful career in the United States, but one he isn't terribly happy with. Since I got the news we've been making jokes about moving to Kenya together, and I can't tell if he's serious - we have even been looking for apartments online together! I get the feeling he is actually considering coming with me.

I know we've only been seeing each other for a short time, but I am falling for Tim and I don't want to lose him. I am considering asking him to marry me and come to Kenya. (One important factor he has mentioned is that he has a chronic illness and cannot be without health insurance ... a marriage would mean that he could share mine.)

Is this a crazy idea? Will he laugh at me? Will I regret proposing to a man? I need advice!




I don't know in the two months how much time you have spent together. It could be good news or bad.
If you haven't spend much time together, it is easier to hide the real you and keep up a false persona which you will eventually discover. You have heard those who say, he isn't the same guy i married a few months ago. Happened to me.
Or if you have spent a tremendous amount of quality time getting to know each other, lots of communication rather than going to movies or on bike rides, he really could be the perfect guy for you. Also happened to me the 2nd time around. Only you can be that sure of him. If you believe he is the right one and you have already talked about Kenya together. I would say to go ahead and ask. You don't have much time to debate back and forth.

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Last night I had my second or third dream about this boy. He has jet black hair, kind of long at the back. He has bangs straight across. Also he has chocolate brown eyes. He looks about fifteen or sixteen. And he's so damn cute! When we were together, he kept giving me jelly beans. And he gave me a note asking "Do you want to just be friends or do you want to go out?" All of a sudden we're up town and I pick him over my (so called) boyfriend. Then I woke up. He is the EXACT same boy from my previous dreams. Does this mean he's "The One"? Does this mean I'll meet him? If so, where?

Dreams come from your subconscious.
Sometimes it is an acting of the hopes and dreams you have for your self.
Other times, your subconscious is who receives messages from God, your angels or guides if you believe in that. Take the dreams of Joseph and others dreams he was able to interpret in bible stories. He was foreseeing a famine that would occur. If he had not acted in organizing the storing up of the extra plenty ahead of time for the 7 yrs of famine, many would have died from starvation.
All of us when young dream of meeting our prince charming. Reality is that not many guys will turn out to best the best choice for us.
You did say that in the dream you choose him over a so-called boyfriend.
All I can say is that your subconscious mind is sensing the current boyfriend is not right for you. You can't stop dating altogether waiting for someone that looks exactly like him to come along.
If you have dreams the same person again and again, there could be a significance, a message that you are being given. That you are not just to settle for less when you get to the time and place of being old enough/ready for long term relationship or marriage. This may be a message that the perfect guy is out there, someone who will be your soulmate. But you may not meet him for quite some time. You may meet him next month or not meet him until late 20's for example. There's no way to know. Plus he may not look like that. In your dream, you had to be shown someone who would appeal to you right now where you're at. If you saw a 30 yr old guy and you're 15, that would be freaky. No one can know where you will meet so just go on with life as normal. If you are meant to meet and living in different states and towns, then your angels will be working to bring the situations along where one of you needs to move. I have heard stories (several) of hypnotists who take people back to before they were born and the two souls who were supposed to meet and marry were told what would happen so that they would know its the one. Since we come into this world with no knowledge of any such thing, it has to be something in your subsconcious mind that lays waiting. A guys says a certain phrase to you. Like: I love dogs, I like yours, my favorite I have one just like him. Your conscious mind thinks oh how nice, a dog lover, your subconscious mind screams at you...get his number, get it and ask if you can walk your dogs together sometime. And that is all it takes. You have to learn to listen to your inner voice. It's that important so you don't miss out on opportunities in life. If I can help with anything else let me know by going to my page and leaving message in my inbox

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hi.. my "friend" and i have this thing going on.. i know he likes me more than a friend and i also like him alot but i cant get him to tell me how he feels himself.. we alwayz try to avoid conversations about our feelings towards each other. but now i am tired of keeping quiet i am too scared to tell him how i feel because i am afraid he will shut me down.. how do i get him to open up and tell me how he feels? please help me i like him ALOT

I don't know what you have tried with him to get him to say how he feels. If you are relying on more of the same, things you do together, body language, facial expressions, it's nothing compared to good old conversation. One of the foundations of a healthy strong relationship that has surviving power is good communication. If both of you are too scared to be the first one to talk, nothings going to happen.
Our mind is our biggest enemy sometimes cus it tends to come up with fearful scenerios that have very little likelihood of becoming reality. or it blows situations totally out of proportion. So it you are tired of not knowing, ask him. Some guys don't like to talk and keep all their thoughts, their ideas, their hopes and dreams and their feelings all bottle up inside where no one can ever get to see them. If you are the outgoing talkative type and he is the introverted silent type in all of your time together, then he may not be the best choice for a crush. It works better if the other person is much like you. I could not be married to my husband if he was quiet and i had to do all the talking. Luckily he happens to be as talkative as me. To get the conversation started, write a simple question.
"Do you have deeper feelings for me than friends? and put boxes to check for yes and no. If he confirms yes then start talking. Don't avoid because when you assume too much, things can go wrong. Just happened to a 24 yr old daughter. They never discussed feelings or relationship but only said i love you once to her. You can love a sister, you can love icecream, you can love a crush, but unless you are "in love" with the person, a deeper love than anything else, the i love you doesnt count for a long term relationship. He just left her for a living and working on a spiritual retreat center in Hawaii.
I dont know your age. If still at home with parents, you might say, If my dad had to move out of state for work and i had to leave, how would you feel. Some people have difficulty just coming up with thier feelings unless they view a scenerio in their head like a movie clip and then they have some feelings engage as the scene plays out in the mind. Or if you're on your own, ask the same as if you got a job out of state. I find that often when I am thinking something or feeling something that my partner is doing/feeling the same thing. Like a kiss, "Did you feel that, like the lips tingling, it hasn't done that before for me." "Yeah, I felt it too, had no idea what it was." Many times if I hadn't on the spot asking something the moment I felt it, i would have lost many opportunities to learn that we both tracking the same way, confirmations of feeling the same things. So ask questions that can't be answered by yes or no like the one example I gave you. Otherwise you get just the yes or no but no explanation behind it.

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I fit so many of the symptoms of sociopathy. I lie. I feel nothing, pnly rarely to I feel a small bit of emotion, but only for myself, never for anyone else. I quickly get crushes, but then find the feelings have dissapeared, and I am only wanting to feel the emotions. I get angry, and frustrated, and want to hurt, seriously hurt, the person who made me angry. I don't think aboutt lying. I just do. I'm 13, and realized all this only recently. I've got no idea what I told myself regarding my lack of emotion, but I never questioned the way I was. I know what made me the way I was, and also know I was somewhat this way already. When a close family member died when I was quite young, I wasn't sad, even though I had loved him. I started displaying these traits at twelve. And, for the sake of uncharacteristic honesty in this question, I had sex for the first time at twelve, and got drunk for the first time shortly after that. What I enjoyed most was, I wasn't supposed to do either of those things. I loved that, the feeling of doing the forbidden, just the sensation of feeling anything at all. Music is the only thing that can make me feel emotions. Songs can, over and over, give me a small flicker of what I want most- happiness, sadness, everything. I want to know, how can I just not be the way I am? I don't like who I am, I want so badly not to be like this. But I just can't tell anyone, I just can't start feeling things, stop lying, stealing, manipulating. And. Why am I like this?

I had a husband with mental illness and a few friends too. It prompted me to read many books about the different kinds of mental illness and sociopaths and how to deal with it.
The symptoms of someone I knew could fit almost all of the illnesses. They seem to have so much in common. So my advice is to see a professional who has trained for this for years and knows the subtle differences, the causes and solutions.
I did ask a friend who was a counselor why it is so hard for me to identify which it is and he said it takes lots of years of training. So my advice, if it was hard for me to identify my husbands and friends exact illness it will be hard for anyone even you at 13 to self diagnose. I do believe from daughters who've had depression that there comes a lack of feeling for any thing. It could be a combo of things for you. in this case i would not recommend you read self help books because the more books I read as an adult in my 40's at the time, the more confused i became. My advice is to see an expert, because you could be suffering from a combo of things that make you seem to be sociopathic.

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So I like this guy and he is always there for me. He is also sweet and genuinely cares about me. (Not to mention he is cute!) But there is one problem...I'm scared to get into another relationship. The ones I've had sucked major butt and the guys always seemed great at first, but they ended up the same. I don't know if he is any different. I mean I want to be with him, but the idea of a relationship terrifies me. I also don't want to lose him. As you can see, there are conflicted feelings. Please help me.

I don't know what your criteria was for choosing a guy to be in a relationship with so I can't help give much on hinters as to what to stop doing and what to start doing.
One thing though I have found, and it happens at any age, even 40s, 50s on, is that people who have something to hide try to put their best impression out there for you, a fake persona, the nice person. Once they think they have you hooked, they drop the fake stuff and go back to being themselves. It takes lots of energy to keep up a lie about yourself 24/7 It doesn't have to be long, it can be after a handful of dates that the mask slips, or it may take as long as a couple months. But the first moment you see anything in behavior that reminds you of the other guys, then break it up. You don't have to point out what was lacking in them...they wont see it. Just say, there wasn't enough chemistry.
I will give a good example from my own life. I was married to a verbally abusive man. Eventually I left him and started dating. Once I met a guy I really liked at our first meeting. I liked our 2nd date too, no warning signs. But on the 3rd date, he had me over to dinner at his place and said he was embarrassed how the place looked and that his worthless piece of shit house maid...and called her racial names too. No, it wasn't directed at me, so I COULD choose to ignore it. But what I learned from experience is that if a person thinks and lives that way at core in their being, it would be only a matter of time before he turned those insults on me. I dropped him like a hot rock and told him I met someone else.
So my advice is to not lock yourself away from a possible good relationship just because the immature or bad people seem to outweigh the good. I had to go through lots of ugly ducklings personality wise before i met my 2nd husband. This one is my prince charming. We are soul-mates or twin-flames as some people call it. If you choose to build up a wall to protect your heart, then no one will be able to reach you, even family. It is better to make a harder effort to look for those warning signs to come early. This is part of what dating is all about. You date to get to know who they really are inside and then you decide whether to be in long term relationship if they seem to be a great person. Dating is not meant to be a entertainment, we went to a movie, went biking, went dancing or out to dinner. That is not going to tell you as much as regular every day life is where you spend time around them. Like in stressful situations, how does he handle them? Someone calls him a name or challenges him, how does he react and so on. I will also say this, if you're younger than mid twenties, peoples brains, the decision making part for good or bad choices doesnt complete growin until then. Any time before that, young people are trying to navigate life with a brain that isn't fully capable yet of making the best decisions for itself. So at this period in time, it is important to have someone or several someones as sounding boards. Someone local for you who will give you their advice and opinion when you ask for it. A mom, aunt, maybe a neighbor lady you're friendly with. Try to stay away from peers becasuse they are in the same boat as you and you wont likely get much anything constructive from them or than: He's sooo cute, you'll kick your self if you dont go out with him and someone else does. I hope this helps. If you have any other concerns dear, you can write to me on my columns in box.

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Straight to the point: 4 weeks ago we found out we are having another baby (yay!), that will be child #6. We had been saving a little to go on a couple's vacation (possibly a cruise) besides doing our annual family vacation (usually 4-5 days to a nearby beach) A very interesting opportunity presented itself, to take the whole family to Bermuda for 2 weeks. My best friend lives there and she finally has a place big enough to accommodate all of us. The trip would cost a little more than we had allocated for both trips (which would just be food and airfare, the rest is covered and we are very low maintenance, as in, we don't need fancy dinners or stuff to keep ourselves entertained) , but I think it would also be the vacation of a lifetime!!! for both the kids and us, the parents. I am torn and can't decide, part of me thinks we should jump on the opportunity, because once the new baby comes, things are gonna get A LOT more complicated. On the other side, I feel we would be doing something irresponsible. We have a small savings account, and we are comfortable financially, after surviving the recession, we came back stronger, thriftier and our priorities are now where they are suppossed to be. We've grown up a lot and learned from past mistakes.
Any advice/opinions ??

That is a tough one so I think you'll need to come up with a list of pros and cons. Not the cons as much as which has more positive points than the other scenerio.
Scenerio #1 is good because it is a wonderful thing to have couple time. While you may find time for each other at home with 5 kids, it's not the same as being away from home together without kids. For one thing, you are so carefree together that you can be spontaneous. As for a beach vacation for the kids, i remember all the family times, traditions or vacations as special times. What is special for children is the making of memories, family traditions that are unique for your family. For example we had a tradition of taking our 3 girls to a Christmas tree farm from infant-hood on. It was what they came to expect. We also had a tradition to get one ornament for each child to represent each Christmas. We picked them out for babies first Christmas and maybe a second Christmas but from then on, it was their choice. I remember middle daughter choosing a large purple ball coated in glitter at 2 1/2. We made outings to pumpkin farms too. Now that they're all grown, they carry on those traditions and make their husbands, boyfriends do it with them. Since you said you don't need to be entertained, for couple vacation, the cruise would be lower on the list than another only because most the time is spent on the boat between whatever ports it pulls in to. The amount of time for sightseeing at ports may not be enough. The boat time is nothing but one entertainment planned after another.
The kids ages might determine if any could really appreciate Bermuda. If you have enough of them who are lets say ages 8-9-10 and up, they could have enough memories of it that it would be the opportunity of a lifetime. At the age of 5 my parents took a trip to Germany where they had relatives. I do recall some specific points like how dark the Black forest is, how many nude or creative water fountains there were but not much else remains in my memorys.
The obvious down point to Bermuda is spending more money. I don't know how much that would set you back or if you would have no emergency money left in case lets say the car breaks down and needs repairs soon after you are back. If you were to do a couple only vacation, might you choose some exotic location like Bermuda? If so, and the whole family can enjoy, then it might be a good idea to go to Bermuda after all. I am sure your friend wouldn't mind looking after the kids one whole day so you can take off and be gone the whole day, just the two of you, or maybe add on an evening where the kids are watching a movie with the friend while you go out to somewhere the locals go, low cost but good and maybe find some free entertainment. Your friend may have ideas since living there, and can put together a list of low cost things to do for just the two of you. If you are considering this, ask if she'd be willing to help you out this way.
So those are some things to think about. The decision is still up to you and hubby

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I'll try to keep this short. 20s/Male. Basically I want to adopt. I don't want to have children that are mine genetically. My parents have a few negative genetic traits each and I seem to have pretty much all of them. Having children biologically would risk having children with addictions, anxiety, heart and digestive problems, and more. Still, I think I would be a good parent, so I would love to adopt and give a childhood to a child that wouldn't have one otherwise. A problem I have had when I date is when to break this information to my significant other. If I say it too soon, it seems like I'm entering the relationship too quickly. If I say it too late, it seems like I'm withholding an important fact and wasting someone's time. If anyone could give me some insight, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks -Sam

I think I know how you feel. I was on dating sites before I met my 2nd husband on there. I like to be open and honest right up front. The fact is that people date to determine if they have chemistry and are compatible enough to marry or being in a committed life long relationship. I know for myself that if I date and am starting to fall for the guy and then reveal my possible deal breaker piece of news, if the person can't handle it, then both my heart will be crushed and so will theirs. I wanted to avoid that. While it seemed a crazy thing to say at the start as I did in my profile to screen them out ahead, (they wouldnt write me if they couldn't handle it) for those ladies you just meet by coming across in public, if you are on your third date, you might go ahead and say something like, "Since there was enough attraction to get past the first date, just in case we ever get to the point of committing to a relationship together, I'd rather convey this piece of information to you in case it may be a dealbreaker." And then tell your story.

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god told me show him how much he means to me i dont know who and how please help me !

I just answered you and now see this.
Okay if i understand right, in your mind you heard the phrase, "Show him how much he means to you" just those exact words, nothing else. Well, I get bits and pieces from God too. Its not because he isnt giving the whole story...it's like we are a tv set that is having problems recieving the signal, so the picture freezes in pixels...ever see that happen? The programming goes out but something interferes with our minds ability to receive a clear message. As I grew older, throughout life I learned how to get whole complete conversations. But there are still days when I get just a piece in words or like a snapshot in my mind.
When I do I simply ask God what does that mean. Tell me in words or show me a movie clip in my mind that explains it. If you get nothing at the
time, don't worry cus its likely not a crisis of the moment thing you need to hear. Just ask again. God is not going to give you specific instructions (nor will your angels) like go to that college, do that for a profession, work at that company or Marry that person. Those are usually personal choices. Whatever lesson you are meant to learn and experience, you will get no matter what choices you make. God gives us a choice. What we learn will be from interacting with people on the planet. There will be people everywhere school, jobs, in community for you to learn a lesson on how to have patience with another, or being forgiving.

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ive liked this guy for 5 years and my dad says hes going to merry someone else and god told me merry him no names i dont know who but im guessing its him please help

When I was a teen I heard from God but as I grew older, I realized that half the time I had been interpreting the message I heard wrongly. With life experience and maturity, you will learn to get better at knowing what was a divine word and what was up for question.
Here's a good example using a term of words.
"I will knock you up later." That is an idiom. In our country it means that someone is promising to get you pregnant. In the U.K. that term means I will get in contact with you (by phone or knock on door) later. Sometimes, it is the frame of reference, like where your mind is at and your strongest hopes and dreams that can influence it.I am assuming you are a teen. I did not date around to discover what I liked and didn't like in a person. It is easy for a person to present a fake persona, until you live with them or after a few months they let down their guard and show the real self.The teen and college years are a time for dating..not just one but several people, not all at one time though lol. If you don't go through several relationships you won't have the perspective or frame of reference to make the comparisons of what you like or not. So just relax and take one day at a time. If someone wants to date you or you want to date someone, just ask. If its not the guy you like, it's okay...you have to start learning somewhere. Attraction isn't always both ways. Sometimes only the guy likes the girl but shes not interested in him or its the other way around. Thats life. You don't want to force a relationship to happen that may not be meant to be because it will crash and burn at some point. Of course even if I did not tell you this, you would some day learn the hard painful way by experiencing it. Don't keep yourself out of the dating ring by waiting for the 5 yr guy to notice you.

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my boyfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago. The first week, I was in devastation. Being only 14, it was difficult for me to handle all of it, as I loved him alot. But then one day, I overheard his conversation with one of my friends ( she allowed me to be on confrence while I heard him talk about some other girl and totally random stuff.) When asked about me, he would answer with impatience in his voice. From that day on, till today I haven't picked up the phone to call him once. He told my bestfriend that "I couldn't sleep for a week, whatever anyone says I will always have a soft corner for you and that I am not myself." What is wrong with this guy? Why does each and every move of his hurt me so much? I am angry at him, really angry. I don't think he ever did love me for the four months that we dated, and usually I spend my time being happy. But there are still moments where I miss him. Why do I miss him if he doesn't miss me? What are his reasons for behaving like this? I know I haven't moved on but how long will it take for me to look at his face and not feel anything?

I don't know how long you were dating but at your age the statistics are for relationships to last an average of 5-6 months. There can be exceptions. However, at this age guys don't even know who they are at core let alone what they like or don't in a girl. One way for us to find out is to go through several dating relationships that start and end. Yes, the heart will always be investing some interest, both both people or at least one.

What I need to make clear is that when a guy asks you to date him, the interest level at that stage is based on how you look, how you handle yourself with others, the sound of your laugh etc. and maybe even some feelings of excitement where your heart does somersaults, etc. That is enough to only start the dating. The purpose of the term Dating is only to hang out with a person long enough to discover if you have enough in common on the inside, your personalities, and whether there is something stronger than the initial feelings of attraction like the heart somersault. To move from dating into a long term relationship, you need to be able to feel comfortable about every aspect of the person and have a very strong chemistry. While many think it's strong, when on a scale of 1 to 10 most marry at a 5 or less, you really need an 8,9,10 for a relationship to last. I am not saying have sex right now. But that's a piece of advice for your future. The ones without enough chemistry end up breaking up, doing cheating him or her, and marriages ending in divorce. The two important foundations of a long term relationship are a good sexual relationship, and being each others best friend. Without that, there isn't much chance of a very successful, fulfilling relationship.
So, at 14, maybe your guy saw things in your personality that turn him off. I am not saying you do anything bad. Because what turns him off will be the exact thing that draws other guys to you like a magnet. Everyone has their personal taste in looks and personality. I prefer brunette men to blondes and redheads. Doesn't mean the others are ugly. So he isn't doing anything wrong in deciding you aren't the type for him. His only problem is that he was not "man enough" to tell you. But then again, you have to give him some slack, most females your age are very hormonal now and their emotions always set on a hairline trigger ready to explode, so a guy is going to be reluctant to be honest and then have to deal with all the tears and/or anger and shouting. If a guy could feel comfortable about talking to a gal without her getting all wigged out about it, then guys would learn at a younger age to be honest.
So, if you can think of it that way, based on everything I said, you really have nothing to be so angry about. Talk to yourself and let your subconscious know that. Your subconscious mind will then find it easier to let go of the feelings you have of liking him. Don't hold on to anger. Being disappointed it didn't work out is okay. But anger and resent that you carry will send out invisible vibes that other guys will pick up on and they will automatically steer clear of you so that no new guy approaches you.
Take care dear.

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15/f me and this guy have been talking for like a month or two on and off. we are friends and we hadn't talked for like a week or something and then he texted me like a week ago and then we started talking again like everyday until we went to bed. he started asking me to hangout with him and we always tried to make plans but something always came up. like he'd be like you wanna hangout soon? and i'd be like I cant right now and I actually couldn't I was dying my hair and i'd be like maybe later and then when we were talking later he'd be busy so then he'd be like im down tomorrow so then he'd ask me the next day and I was like I cant im going out right now and I actually was and I was like I'll text you later and I did and he was like you never texted me when we were supposed to hangout im out now I cant but tomorrow i'll see if I can . so the day after he was just saying he was bored just hanging out and I said the same thing but he never like "asked" me to hangout like he had before and then he stopped texting me out of nowhere the next day. and its been like 4 days since we talked and I wonder if I should just text him to hangout because I think he thinks I was blowing him off but I really wasn't I actually wanted to hangout with him. he also asked me If I wanted to hookup (makeout) awhile back and I said yeah I would and maybe he thinks now that if we hangout I wouldn't want to. he is a good guy and i'll be like lets hangout later at night and he wants to hangout during the day just me and him. I don't know what to do if I should just wait for him to text me or just text him and what do I say to not make it awkward even though we are good friends?! thankyou

It's natural for people to lose interest when things just don't seem to come together. If none of your "talking" was actual verbal communication and just texting, there's already much missing from the conversation...like the nuances of your voice...how excited you sound to hear from him, the sadness in your voice if you can't. Plus its easier to put in the details of why you can't. texting only allows for the basics of communicating and giving more than the basic, I am busy now, becomes very tedious.
So he probably thinks you were blowing him off.
Your only 15 so probably self conscious around guys yet and not comfortable with everything.
But if it was someone I was crazy about, i would try to find a way to see him anyways, no matter what the circumstances. Here's some examples of what I mean: "I can't come over to see you cus I am busy dying my hair but if you come over right now, you can be the first person to see how it turns out." If your first thought is, I can't let him see me that way...then think again. The message this sends to a guy is that you like him so much that you are comfortable with him seeing you not at your dolled up state, if he's the right guy, he will find that to be precious and it confirms how much you like him. Or when he asked again and you said I cant. Make sure you do not say I'm busy or I cant anymore. Instead, tell him what is going on and give him the chance to decide if he's still interested in joining you or not. "So you wanna hang out right now?" "Well, I was about to leave the house, I am actually going shopping with my mom and grandma but if you don't mind hanging out with a couple of older ladies along, I'll ask quick if they don't mind.
In both instances, if you made the invite open, most guys would likely turn down the invite. A few might accept but generally no. However they will feel touched in their minds and hearts that you wanted him to be along. It conveys to him that you are still interested.
So a little explanation is a good thing. It can be done in text. Try calling and explaining what happened those two times and how you feel badly that you didn't feel comfortable enough to tell him why. You truly are interested in him and hope he doesnt think you were blowing him off.
Best to say this in person. 2nd choice, call and talk to him if he's willing to answer the call. Last choice should be texting all of this in detail. Hope all goes well.

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