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how to get my crush to open up
hi.. my "friend" and i have this thing going on.. i know he likes me more than a friend and i also like him alot but i cant get him to tell me how he feels himself.. we alwayz try to avoid conversations about our feelings towards each other. but now i am tired of keeping quiet i am too scared to tell him how i feel because i am afraid he will shut me down.. how do i get him to open up and tell me how he feels? please help me i like him ALOT
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The only way to get him to say how he feels is to ask him. You can either write a note or just ask him face to face.
I mean obviously you won't be able to have a relationship with him if you guys avoid important things.
So find a way to ask him and see how that goes.
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I don't know what you have tried with him to get him to say how he feels. If you are relying on more of the same, things you do together, body language, facial expressions, it's nothing compared to good old conversation. One of the foundations of a healthy strong relationship that has surviving power is good communication. If both of you are too scared to be the first one to talk, nothings going to happen.
Our mind is our biggest enemy sometimes cus it tends to come up with fearful scenerios that have very little likelihood of becoming reality. or it blows situations totally out of proportion. So it you are tired of not knowing, ask him. Some guys don't like to talk and keep all their thoughts, their ideas, their hopes and dreams and their feelings all bottle up inside where no one can ever get to see them. If you are the outgoing talkative type and he is the introverted silent type in all of your time together, then he may not be the best choice for a crush. It works better if the other person is much like you. I could not be married to my husband if he was quiet and i had to do all the talking. Luckily he happens to be as talkative as me. To get the conversation started, write a simple question.
"Do you have deeper feelings for me than friends? and put boxes to check for yes and no. If he confirms yes then start talking. Don't avoid because when you assume too much, things can go wrong. Just happened to a 24 yr old daughter. They never discussed feelings or relationship but only said i love you once to her. You can love a sister, you can love icecream, you can love a crush, but unless you are "in love" with the person, a deeper love than anything else, the i love you doesnt count for a long term relationship. He just left her for a living and working on a spiritual retreat center in Hawaii.
I dont know your age. If still at home with parents, you might say, If my dad had to move out of state for work and i had to leave, how would you feel. Some people have difficulty just coming up with thier feelings unless they view a scenerio in their head like a movie clip and then they have some feelings engage as the scene plays out in the mind. Or if you're on your own, ask the same as if you got a job out of state. I find that often when I am thinking something or feeling something that my partner is doing/feeling the same thing. Like a kiss, "Did you feel that, like the lips tingling, it hasn't done that before for me." "Yeah, I felt it too, had no idea what it was." Many times if I hadn't on the spot asking something the moment I felt it, i would have lost many opportunities to learn that we both tracking the same way, confirmations of feeling the same things. So ask questions that can't be answered by yes or no like the one example I gave you. Otherwise you get just the yes or no but no explanation behind it.
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