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I'm always wanting more from men. Why?
My boyfriend is a prince, pure perfection, any woman's dream. He caters to my every need. He opens doors for me, calls me beautiful constantly, cooks for me, and gives me so much happiness- without all that materialistic stuff. We have been through thick and thin together. There is never me without him, or him without me. We're not known to be without each other. Ever.
He works down the street from my house, so I see him often. We've been having more romantic date nights and stay-ins watching movies more than we used to. Our relationship has improved tenfold. I stopped abusing him the way I used to, he stopped walking away during arguments, and we've matured a lot. I'm going into college, and he's supporting me every step. I couldn't be any more happier.
However, there is a catch. I'm always wanting more. Not from him, but from other guys. I talk to maybe one or two particular guys on an app I have. I lie and say I'm single. I crave their attention. I don't smile or feel pretty when my boyfriend tells me- even when he describes every small particle and thread that makes me beautiful to him. He is a romeo, a charmer, yet I do not feel any excitement, butterflies, or sexiness when he tells me these things. SO why do I feel it when other guys tell me? Why do I crave the attention of other guys? Why do I desire to be swooned from them? Truth is, I secretly wish I didn't have my boyfriend around, but I guess I am keeping him around because I know none of these guys could EVER give me what my boyfriend gives me. I've been neglecting my boyfriend, become sneaky jerk. I lock my phone, computer, and my heart. He pries and pries, yet I simply tell him I am just stressed and I don't want everyone going through my stuff- particularly my family. For example, we went on a date last night, and I couldn't wait for it to be over so I could talk to another guy. I am such a horrible girlfriend. I neglect him, secretly want him gone... and I even told him this, but he stayed. He told me he would help me through this and support me, but honestly, I don't think I will ever be able to stop. I don't know what our relationship is lacking, I don't know why I act this way. Why? I have everything I want, so why do I desire others? I don't want to be this way, I want to love him unconditionally like he loves me. I keep trying to contain myself, to stop myself from texting other guys, but I can't. I don't know how this started or why.
I don't want to keep hurting him. Help me...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You don't say how long you've been together. Hopefully it's been long enough to know whether you have enough in common. Just the fact that he is a great guy, a charmer a gentleman etc...doesn't mean that the two of you are perfect for each other. If that is who he is at core, those are his values, he would treat any woman like that. No matter what your age, I have a feeling you don't have enough skills yet to know what to look for in what compatibility truly is. You mentioned not feeling excitment or feeling sexy when with him...there's your clue. If there was enough chemistry and sexual energy between you, you'd know it.
Here's an example maybe not the best but it will have to do. Some time after leaving my ex and before meeting my current husband, I tried to live the polyamorous lifestyle, having more than one lover at once. It is not for just sex like swinging but real relationships where all the men involved knew i was poly. It was still in my dating profile when i met my husband. He used to be poly too. But when we met, the chemistry in our friendship, our personalities and with sex was so tremondous that neither of us has had any thought of wanting attention from anyone else.
As wonderful as he is, he doesnt sound like the right guy. Lets say on a scale of 1 to 10 that you have experienced men who are 1-or2 and your current prince is a 6 for you. Compared to your past, it would seem he was a 10 and that's all you can expect to have sexually from a man. However, how would you know that he is only a 6. and not a ten, that there is something more. The reason your inner voice or subconscious is leading you on a chase after other men, is because your subconscious knows something your conscious mind hasn't figured out yet. That sexually, he doesn't really light your fire, very little passion, Your body will react to being stimulated but its not what it could be. Deep down you sense something isn't quite what it should be. What you may be looking for is a man who is every bit the prince your current guy is except that both of you are more sexually compatible, suitable...maybe the pheromones. And your current guy has nothing wrong with him in that department because he will score a 10 when he is with the right lady. So you can choose to stay. But you will be frustrated to the point you may go for an affair. And over long term he will sense something isn't right. He may have feelings for you, love you and feel totally satisfied with the quality of your sexual side of relationship.
My ex was. His need for sex was lots less and lots different than mine and i stayed for too many years. It won't change no matter what you read or try to change it. It just is what it is.
While it could be that you have an addiction and are a nymphomaniac....that is less likely than the scenerio I just gave. If you think you have an addiction, go for counseling, your gut feeling will let you know if thats the issue, or that theres not enough spark.
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It seems to me that maybe your relationship is to "perfect" that it makes you wonder if other men still find you attractive· Many people become like this in relationships ...long relationships. Maybe you need a day to yourself and think. Do you want to see someone else or stay with this guy. Your having a desire for attention and if it doesn't get fixed now it may just get worse and worse until he won't want to be with you anymore and than it will be to late for you to make a decision.talk to him and tell him you need the relationship to have spice. Not the gentle care of the perfect gentleman but something you can prove. Instead of him cooking...you cook. You open the door for him and joke. give your relationship spice and sexy. And if nothing works...well than I think the answer is move on. I hope this this helps you. Good luck.
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