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Should I move away
I am a young 46 yr old Grammy to two boys ages 8 yrs old and 20 months old. I am extremely close to them as well as my daughter, mother and father. I got fired from my job in 2011 and have been unemployed since. I have been watching my grandsons (older one in school during school year) everyday mon - fri 9 hrs a day since then.
I got married last September to a man I've known since childhood. He has been living in North Carolina since he was 18 but moved back up here 5 yrs ago. He wants so badly to move back down there because he has a captains license and can easily find work there. Work that he enjoys. There are not many opportunities here in pittsburgh for a boat captain. He is very unhappy here. I too adore the Carolina's but am having a difficult time moving away from my family. I moved myself and my daughter to Florida when she was just 4 yrs old but returned to pa within 2 yrs because she missed my mom and dad so much. I've been sacrificing for my family my entire life. My daughter thinks its terrible for me to move so far away from my grandsons. Half of me wants to move to nc and make my husbands dreams come true but the other half can't bear the thought of saying goodbye to my grandsons. My question to you is, should I stay or should I go?
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So if I understand right, the man you married was living in your area and knew how much your family meant to you. Did you two at any time before marriage discuss moving around for jobs if it became an issue? I am a grandma too. We worked for work. It didnt pan out. Right now broke and trying to scrape money together to go back to family. Hubby and I have 4 daughters between us all in the same area. Being away from them for no matter what the reason, has made me realize how important my family is to me. Daughter just got dumped by boyfriend and I couldn't be there to hug and hold her. I have a granddaughter and miss her so much too. I have been away for a year and a half. We know we must go back. If we had to, We would live like poor people, what ever it takes, all that matters is "being there for them"
If you know already now that it would break your heart to be away from them, then you have to be honest with the new husband. It wasn't like you married someone who was already living in another state at the time of your marriage. You assumed you'd get to stay in the area to be with your family and be married to him.
Like you said, you feel like you've always sacrificed your wants and desires for others.
Moving just so he can be happy, would be sacrificing again. Maybe its one of your lessons to learn in life and it is Not being selfish.
From what you said, it sounds like hubby has a job, its just that its not where his heart is. Thats too bad. He made a commitment to you. However if he lost his job, you'd have to move if he found work there. With the economy the way it is, that is possible in the future still.
So you two need to have a heart to heart talk. No blaming of each other. Just the facts. In the long run, can he squash his dreams and be happy staying with you? Or is the sacrifice too big? He could even become resentful feeling, towards the situation, not you, and that can affect the marriage. It may come down to him having to make a choice between you and captaining a ship. I think your decision has already been made. Good luck dear
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I saw this question on the open forum and it is not one I or anyone can answer for you.
All I can say is North Carolina ant Pittsburg are not all that far apart, a days drive at most. You have to live your life with your husband.
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