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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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My boyfriend says he loves me sooo much. We've been together 6 years. He jokes around a lot. He's cheated on me in the past, I know this may sound bad but today when I went to the store I set up a voice recorder before I left. He was beggin me to go boat riding. But told his friend on the phone he'd prefer I didn't go so he would have more fun and look at bikinis. I confronted him and he says it was said as a joke, I really don't know what to think... any advice? Btw we are in our 30s

Hon, what do you want out of life. 6 years with a guy and there is no commitment for life? You are in your 30s so if that's what you really want, maybe you have to be truthful with yourself.
You can't change another person. What you see is what you get. So if you are satisfied with no commitment, just him liking you, or maybe loving you like he loves his friends, but not being "in love with you", then you are on the right track. Just keep doing what you are doing.

Somethings bothering you deep down inside but you may not have leveled with yourself yet to determine what it really is.

Ask yourself this: Does my boyfriend strengthen me or weaken me?
Strengthen means he loves you just as you are, so he is always encouraging you, building you up, supporting what you like to do, upholding you in everything. Life is more fun because you are in it even for mundane things like wanting you to go along with as he runs errands, or shops or does the dishes. When apart, he can't wait to be back together with you. He is building your trust that you are the only one for him because of how he continuously seeks you out, how he treats you and treats you as if your his Queen and he is your servant.
So weakening is all the opposite of that. He doesn't encourage, shows more interest in other women whether in front of you or behind your back, he never seems to miss you, treats you more like a live in maid with sex benefits than the love of his life, etc....

I think you know what you have there. The question you need to ask yourself is why you are staying dear.

My ex and I broke up a few weeks back. There are times when I feel really happy but because he's in my class in school, I always hide my real feeling i.e sadness at times and missing him. The thing is, he's upset because of his family issues. Though I'm not sure about it, I feel as ifhe doesn't miss me. The times when Im happy are amazing, I'm just myself. But what do I do when I feel like I'm stuck somewhere where I can't go infront without my past blocking out my future completely? I don't want to go back and relive the last four months in my head; but when the memories start rushing back, what do I do? There is a limit to which I can shut myself out and distract myself with work, friends, etc. What do I do in the times I feel as if there is nothing left?

Your subconscious mind is where all your feelings and emotions come from. So apparently your subconscious mind hasn't let go yet and besides, you still need more time to pass.
One thing to help you along is how you view the whole experience of dating and relationships. If you look at end of dating relationship as a failure of some sort, then you are always going to agonize over it. No matter if he wanted out, or you did, or both of you, it needs to be seen as part of a natural procession of selection...you date to discover what you do and don't like about someone to form a conscious idea of what you are looking for in a guy. You are not supposed to settle for less and go for life with the first guy who wants to date you for any length of time. Chemistry is important. A guy could be real sweet, wonderful, a real prince charming but if you feel no spark, it's the wrong guy. What you need to do is make lists of what you did like about the ex from those 4 months you were with him and what you did not like. What you dont like is Really Important and you need to learn to spot those things earlier on like at the conversation stage before you start dating. That way there will be less times of getting emotionally involved with someone who doesn't work out. Here's something I've written my views of the stages of relationships. That might help to keep in mind. The first three stages don't last long before progressing on or ending. My guess is that he left at stage 3, Dating while you wanted to go on to Steady relationship. Some women go all the way to the end with the wrong guy and end up married to someone wrong for them, who mistreats, a jerk, or totally mismatched in chemistry, sex, likes and hobbies and other personal tastes, and mismatched in beliefs and values. It boggles the mind why we do that, perhaps we feel we wont find someone better. Thats why I jumped at age 20 into marriage which was hell for 30 years. Once my daughters were graduated, I left. So glad I did. I had to learn the hard way but I feel I can at least offer some good advice to the younger females so they don't make the same mistakes I did. Here's my ditty on relationships.

The Normal steps to a Relationship

Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.

Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.

Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. Find out more about the person you have interest in which happens only if you start seeing each other regularly making it a conscious choice. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level. Usually a move to being a steady couple happens automatically without any conscious thought.

Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself.

Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.

Every time I get my period I get bumps

An STD doesn't stick to a regular schedule and come and go with periods from what I have heard.
Something like Herpes is released when experiencing
One thing that can happen is the same thing as when you were an infant in diapers. Its almost inevitable at some point that a baby is going to have a diaper rash. While the urine can contribute to that, a lot of it has to do with any prolonged amount of time that wetness is in that area against your skin if you are using pads. If using pads, switch to using tampons and see if that helps. If you are already using tampons, then you may want to see a doctor to find out what it is. It could be a benign skin rash and there may be something they recommend that makes it feel better if it's irritating you. Best to know for sure just to lay your mind at rest. If you don't have a family doctor, check with Planned Parenthood.

My ways of coping w/sadness have never really been healthy. Self-harm was a part of my life for 3 years & the last time was 4 months ago. I don't have much desire to do it again because I don't feel it has the same affect on me anymore. About a year ago I began praying & trying to put my life in Gods hands & I feel I've built a strong relationship w/God I feel I've gained a lot of hope/faith from it, but when I'm sad I feel I become a completely different person I become so angry & feel so helpless & all I do is cry & feel like dying after I've taken some time to calm down those feelings subside. I'm just afraid I won't give myself some time to calm down & I'll end up acting on those feelings... need advice :)
Thank you! any advice is very much appreciated :)

There are things that are sometimes interpreted as bordering on the mystic or new age for church people but it is actual scientific reality of what our body is made up of...not just the physical body, but chakras and we have energy that flows normally in our bodies when we are not stressed. Also our brain needs sufficient amounts of neurotransmitters (chemical messengers used by nerve cells) to function at its best. Stress, worry, emotional distress, drugs, alcohol, poor eating habits and pollution deplete neurotransmitters. Additionally, today's normal diet does not provide sufficient nutrients to produce adequate neurotransmitter levels. All combined, these factors can contribute to many awful conditions. So there is a product, I have come across but I haven't used it personally, however I know many natural products work wonderfully. Here's an article to that product:
http://www.more-serotonin.com/

So here is something you can read to take yourself from a stressed state to one of being more stable and actually happy. What it involves is raising the vibrational levels of your soul. I gave it to my daughter a couple years ago when she was depressed over losing a boyfriend and 6 month later had lost so much weight because of it. She didn't think much of it and went to one free counseling appt through her job. The counselor knowing she was going to have to battle it on her own told her the same things I told her that are in the article on this blog that I want you to down load and read and save on your pc. You will refer to it many times in the future. I have it saved on my pc so if you have trouble downloading, let me know and I'll send it on here but its long for this venue.
Daughter told me then that everything I sent her that was in the article was what the counselor recommended. I still use them today. Important to get into a regular practice of this. You may not have the desire to do these at first but push yourself, it gets easier. There is one not mentioned in the article...and that is hugging. Getting long proper hugs each day helps lots. I use these all the time at the first sign that I feel stressed or unhappy. My favorites, singing, dancing, skipping, and playing songs whose melodies have the effect of making my heart or soul feel light like a balloon floating out of my chest...that exhirated feeling just by the melody...words don't count as much. A non christian song, Clocks by coldplay is one that does it for me. Not the words, just the melody.

http://www.erinpavlina.com/blog/2009/08/10-
ways-to-raise-your-vibration-in-under-10-minutes/

If you need to talk further, feel free to write my inbox

OK! This will take some explaining so I apologize. I met these 2 guys at during Field season last year. One was my age (both 8th graders at the time) and the other one was a sophomore (3 years older than me). I got really super duper close to the guy my age. Like full on crushing. He sadly had to move half way across the country (very hard on me) and it turned out we both liked each other a lot. He doesn't know when he will be able to come back. He had told me that we have a very unique connection with each other, and he thinks I'm the one (I don't want any lectures on us being to young to feel that) but I can tell we are starting to grow apart a little bit. I have never been in a relationship before. I miss him a lot and I'm trying to move on for the times sake (I don't think I'll ever fully move on) Anyway, so he's been gone a few months now. I didn't know the other guy (The Sophomore) very well. After a performance for Band and Guard (I in Guard, he in Band) we started talking A LOT more. We text almost everyday. He's never had a GF, like me with a BF. Well, We've been talking a lot and I asked him what his favorite memory from last year was and he said it was meeting me, he's told me that I am very special and that he doesn't want to leave me when he graduates. We are both very shy and I ran into him at a music store twice. Both times he hugged me leaving (He gives very nice hugs btw ;D) and I was surprised he broke the touch barrier. He's called me beautiful before and I asked him what he thought of our friendship and he said it was excellent. The thing is though, I think he likes me. I don't know for sure. Can you tell me if he does? The problem though is... I think the first guy and I... "Really Really like Like" each other. I know he won't be back for a long time. But I am kind of developing feelings for the older guy. I don't know what to do. I know it's good to move on. So should I try and see what happens with the older guy? Don't comment on age difference please. And I know older guys tend to try and chase younger girls for easy sex, but I know this guy well enough that he would NOT do that. I need help! please!

I remember you. The part of the guy who was shy meeting you in music store and giving you a hug there is what clued me in.
Last time you did not tell about the guy you loved who moved away. Oh how heart breaking dear. Yes, it doesn't happen often but I believe some people can fall in love as kids & teens and eventually marry.

Fate can bring along events in life to older people who are in love, one dies of a disease or in a car accident, it isn't an age specific thing that may pull two people apart. As you can already feel, the long distance is having the effect of you growing apart. Some people start with an on-line relationship and then try to make it work face to face later. You already know what it feels like in person. So you know that much of What you experience in person can not be duplicated on-line.
Is it possible to having strong feelings for two guys at once, maybe even love two guys at once? Yes it is. It is called polyamory. The heart is capable of having genuine feelings for more than one. But honesty between the two is important with both being okay with sharing the female or vice-versa, two females sharing the same guy. But because that is so much more challenging I am not promoting that with you, just the fact that it is possible to have those feelings.
So your decision then can't be based on your feelings but rather on which relationship has a better chance right now of growing. Yes, its hard but that is what you are faced with. It looks like the older guy is the better choice based on that.
I don't know who is telling you that the age difference is a problem. Some juniors and seniors dont care to associate with freshman or younger due to how immature they are.
In your case, I sense you are very intelligent and mature from what I can pick up from your writings. You are correct that many older guys will go after younger girls for sex but there are also a few shyer guys who are more respectful of women and that is why they haven't dated yet because they are waiting for someone they truly care about getting to know the person inside, the personality. They are;t into dating just to show off for their friends.
I think we established last time that the older guy is really into you and would love the opportunity to get to know you better. He has given some of the strongest clues one could give. He says things that build you up and make u feel good, he has chosen to hug u infront of people at the store...it shows that he is not embarrassed what others may think...so he won't be one to cave into peer pressure. He is never going to be the first to make any move to start the next step of relationships. You two have gone past initial attraction and the conversational friend stage and need to move on to the dating stage if you both are ready. I am sure he is but he is leaving it up to you to show him you want to take the next step. If you are ready...tell him. He may wonder if the guy who moved could come back and mess things up for him. At that age, a teen is stuck having to go where the family goes and if dad moved because of a job offer. Its not likely he'll be back any time soon. If they moved to care for an ailing/elderly parent/grandparent it could be a year but it could be 10 years. Who is to know how long the elderly will live on.

But then thats the only piece of info I don't have...why the family moved away. Only you would know if there was a great chance of him being back in a year. A year is bad enough and might have adverse affects on the relationship, but longer than a year at your age could really have detrimental effects...meaning both of you not feeling the same about each other anymore.
Unless there is something I don't yet know that could help, I would go for getting to know the older guy. Here is a piece I share about the stages of relationships so you can better gauge where you are at with the local guy.

The Normal steps to a Relationship

Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.

Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.

Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. Find out more about the person you have interest in which happens only if you start seeing each other regularly making it a conscious choice. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level. Usually being a steady couple happens automatically without any conscious thought.

Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many of those of legal age choose to live together at this time. There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself.

Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.

Is it normal for a 13 year old girl to watch porn?

Hi dear. Yes it is. Keep in mind that some porn is not very realistic or good practices...such as a man giving a gal anal and switching immediately to vagina or to her mouth. It looks that way on film but I can assure you thats not what they are really doing, otherwise, the woman would be having raging bladder infections all the time from the germs transfered by the penis from the anus.
If you are curious about sex and relationships and want to learn more, I have just the thing for you. Its on youtube a channel called Sex plus with Laci Green
http://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen

She's 23 and a fun but well educated peer to teach on all sex and relationship topics. The videos are 3-4 minutes long and entertaining but so jam packed with info that you likely want to watch several of them over or freeze frames when she posts statistics.
Hope you enjoy her as much as I do.

21/f

My boyfriend and I have had to do long distance for the past 1 1/2 months because his family an friends live far away. It's been going well, but it's to the point where we know eachothers routine completely. I could tell you what he's doing any hour of the day. We have about 20 days till he comes back. I really want more attention from him. But, I don't want to sound clingy or annoying. He is much busier than I am, and I've been doing well occupying myself with whatever, but it's getting to the point where we are more just checking in, etc.

So, what can I say/do to show that I want more attention? (without nagging!)

Also, how can I spice things up so it's not just the same old routine?

Thanks!

Having a one time conversation when he is relaxed with nothing weighing on his mind is the best time. Find out how hes feeling and then if its a good time, tell him you want to have a talk with him.

So let him know you realize that guys usually have 3 or 4 things that are all equal priorities in his life, whether it be a relationship, job, school, family or volunteering, etc... He needs to be good at juggling his time in balance so that you are one of the top priorities, it is only fair. Agree ahead that you will let him know if what he gives is not enough for your liking so the two of you can re-evaluate the relationship...if you are best for each other or not. What he may have to give IS his best and can never change.
The word relate is in relationship. To relate means to respond especially favorably to, interact with, connect with. When two people are the best possible mates for each other, the want to interact with, be with each other is overpowering and places that want as top priority. I have that. It feels like wanting your mate to be with you no matter what you are doing, running errands, doing dishes, shopping, just because having their presence and company to experience life together makes it more fun and enjoyable simply by them being there.
I don't know what your usual routine is so it's hard to give you ideas that you might not already be using as part of your normal routine.
You will know better what you haven't done.
If its more of a welcome back celebration, get him a 'just because' card and write a poem for him inside, pouring out your feelings for him. Have a candlelight dinner and cook or order in his favorite food. Have some wine on hand if you both enjoy it. I remember going to the 2nd hand store to find a top that showed off my cleavage and was very flattering. Something new to the wardrobe to wear for him need not be brand new and expensive. Play your favorite music in the background, not too distracting so you can talk.
Ask him first to tell stories about times he spent with the family. If it's important to him, it should be important enough to you that you want to hear about it. Once that has been shared, he can focus on you. Or he may ask you first what you have been doing. Good luck

15/f im not in a relationship with a guy but we are together and its weird we are good friends but we hookup and if we have sex I don't know if its gonna be one time or more so it doesn't really pay to get on birth control pills. does an IUD mess up your hormones like birth control does? does it hurt getting put in and taken out? how effective is it? and will I feel it once in and during sex?

Hi Hon. I had an IUD put in at 20 when I was getting married. I felt a temporary twinge of pain but then again I have hight pain tolerance. I never felt it again. No cramps or heavier periods. Every woman is different.
However I do want to point out that there are two basic IUDs, the Mirena which does use contraceptives in its makeup and the copper IUD. The copper s properties act to inhibit the ability of a fertilized egg to implant. The walls of the womb become too slippery or hostile for implantation so it flushes out. There is a lot to read up on the 'copper IUD'. Just put that in a web search. Of all the contraceptives, it has the highest efficiancy rate next to having the tubes tied. In the long run, it is also more cost effective. You put it in and it's good for 10 or so years on some.

My ex and I were together and engaged for two years. It's been 8 months since he left for being unhappy, and almost 4 months since I've had any kind if contact with him, verbally & physicallly. I recently, maybe a month ago, blocked him from Facebook and anyone who contacts him because seeing his name is not helping me move on. I will admit, I am fine without him although I do wish we could be back together, but I've accepted reality and understand that will never happen.i think about him almost everyday but for some reason I keep having dreams about him. First it was him comin back saying he made a mistake. 4 times. Then it was us being back together and me crying because he was yelling at me. Then last night he told me he wanted back with his ex he was with before me (which they are in real life hanging out, idk if its friends or what) and I was crying and told him I hated him and he ruined my life and I wish I never got with him. Every dream I have of him I wake up in an icky mood or I'm crying. What can I do? I never wanna see him again, period.

Dreams are generated by our subconscious mind. I would have to state that your subconscious mind doesn't seem to be with the game plan yet as far as where your conscious mind is at concerning the ex.

Subconscious mind is responsible for many things including all our feelings and emotions. It's your subc. mind that wishes you were back together and will continue to. It thinks because you were engaged 2 years that is meant something.
He may have been lying to his subc. mind and believing that being engaged was something else.
I don't think it takes two years to plan a Wedding and get married. So the state of engagement may have been more like steady relationship. But not the one with vows and oaths as you thought you were at. You need to have a good talk to yourself. When you talk to yourself, you'll be talking to your subc. mind. Its like having to reason with a child sometimes, but she will get it. Let her know why the guy is not right for you. He may have been a great guy in many ways, but you need to find one where not just one of you but both have that chemistry together. Good for him that he finally admitted to himself that he was not happy. If you had married to an unhappy man, your marriage would not have been wedded bliss. So he did you a favor by being strong enough to make that move.
Never give up on finding the right guy. I was married 30 to an abuse man. Once I left, I needed some healing and adjustments in how I thought. Now I am married to a 'prince of a man'. But a relationship takes both putting in equal effort to make it work. I am in love and so is he. But I didn't get that until I was 50. Not saying it will take that long. Just that it is always possible. Ask yourself this: Are you more afraid of being alone, being single than of not finding the right man? Fear is an emotion and therefore comes from the subc mind also. A fear like this in your mind could cause you to not be fully truthful with yourself and willing to overlook things that actually were warning signs that something was not right.
Here's something I've written about the stages of a relationship. At any point, one of the two can decide that they are finnally sure this isnt the right person. The end goal is a lifetime commited relationship with or without marriage license. Hope this helps you decide to keep trying.

I am 14 a year ago I flahsed my body on omegle to heaps of guys (very stupid I know) . To be honest I'm not afraid of it being leaked online cause I can tell people it wasn't be it wasn't me but I am worried on the men I flahsed to may be stalking me or trying to find me am I being paranoid ?

The internet is considered dangerous for teens who just "talk" to so called internet friends because of adults who pose as teens to gain your trust to meet you in person and try to have sex with you. If you are making it easier by willingly flashing men, i am sure that quite a few fantasize about getting their hands on you though not all would carry through on such a thing in real life for the reason it is illegal to be with underage.

For the few who don't care what the rules are, yes, there can be a few who stalk or search for you if they had some way of getting your address. Or without that, knowing your town and last name or school you go to is enough. Go back over what you may have told these men...what could they possibly know about you other than seeing you topless on a computer screen. If they have no information, you're probably safe

Okay. So. I've dated this guy about 3 times now. The 3rd time, We stayed broken up and didn't speak for months. Then. We got back together and he loves me like he did in the beginning. However. In the months that he didn't talk to me, I started to like another guy I'd been talking to over Facebook since last December. Since then, we've talked all day, everyday. He didn't express to me that he liked me until after I had a boyfriend. In fact, he said he wasn't sure about me when I told him about my boyfriend wanting to get back together. Now I don't know what to do. The second boy said that he wants to make us work and that we'd be together for a long time. And i like the thought of that. But I'm not sure about how much he really likes me. Lately, we're not as in "like" as we were a few days ago. But. Hes the kind of boy I've always wanted. He's a Risk on my feelings getting hurt but he. understands me. On the other hand. My boyfriend is "safe". I know he loves me and I can see a safe future with him. But he doesn't really get me or my interests. He makes fun of me a lot and says really immature things. This makes me sound kind of bad, i know. But its not like that. I care for both of them but I don't love my boyfriend anymore and i feel like I'm not being fair to him. Please Help. And if you suggest I break up with my boyfriend. How can I do that? I've already hurt him before so I don't know what to say. Thank You.

Whoa...3 dates and you break up and get back together and he loved you already on the first date? I highly doubt it was something as strong as love. Although some people fall in love at first sight, its very few and I doubts they'd break up for months if that was the case. Your agreement to be his girlfriend when you want to check out an internet boyfriend sounds like a mess. I thing that maybe if you understand what the steps are to a relationship, that might help you decide where you are at with number one and whether it is time to leave and go on to number two. Here's a list I have created of the steps to relationships...how they progress or stop at any point if something is wrong. the objective in the end is the right partner one day for a commited long term relationship like marriage.

The Normal steps to a Relationship

Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.

Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.

Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level.

Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself.

Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.

Okay, I'm a 15 year old girl who has been depressed for the past few months.

So there's this teacher who I have got on really well with over the past year. I've known for some time now that he was going to be leaving but I don't think it ever really sunk it. Until today that is, because it's been his last day.

He's been there so much for me at school and has been really helpful and supportive. It got to the point where I would go and see him every day for advice because he was literally the only person I could talk to.

Now he's gone I don't know what to do. I have no way of contacting him (his school email was deleted today) and he's moving to the other end of the country so there's no chance of seeing him at all.

I just don't know what to do because he was everything and now I have nothing.

Your last sentence reveals it all, exactly what is going on with you. You say you have nothing because he was everything.
I understand that he was a teacher but there are couple relationships like this too.
In the relationship, one person has no life on their own and lives their through the other person, they need to lean on another for strength because they lack inner strength of their own.
Hon, if you don't work on discovering yourself and building your own character and becoming a strong person who does not need another person to lean on in life to feel capable of existing, then you will keep running into this scenerio over and over in life until your dying day.

It is a misconception that another person can make one complete, whether it be a parent, a child, a spouse, a teacher, a best friend, etc...

Often a person will say, I found the right guy to marry...he makes me whole.

No, no, no...that works in math, two halves make a whole but it doesnt work in relationships.
If two wholes come together in relationship, there is a synergy. Def in dictionary: synergy-the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements.
So here, one plus one equals three.
Neither person enters any type of relationship, in a deficient state, where they are lacking personally. So the relationship is balanced.
A friend of mine told me of someone she knows a woman much like yourself, but older and still a weak person leaning on others. Her husband divorced her, she went to lean on her mom who was taken from her. Mom died, then dad, then a sister. As she kept looking for someone to live her life through, they were taken away. She finally realized that God was trying to tell her something and had a Spiritual awakening I had a chance to talk to and encourage her and I am glad to say, She's working on becoming a strong individual. Discovering herself, developing her own interests and hobbies, trying to live life and experience it on her own. discover her likes and dislikes, develop her own character, her set of morals and beliefs, finding wonder in the miracles of life, etc . .. this is what I wish for you too dear. But I have a feeling you are not ready for it yet. You still want to live your life through someone else. How do I know? Because you didn't directly ask what you can do to get past this. You posted an indirect question by stating "I just don't know what to do because"
I wish you the best in your long road ahead.

hey just wondering how do u gain fat on your knees b/c in this one skirt i tried on i have my knees look boney..thanks i

There is no way to change the look of knees or elbows. What you have is what you're stuck with.

The only knees really covered in lots of flesh is usually in very obese people and that is not healthy. If you are young and not done growing yet, the rest of your body may yet fill out so your knees don't seem to stick out. In meanwhile, either wear skirts that go to just below your knee but not to floor, or try colored tights with patterns that may distract the eye from the shape of leg and knee.

how long can you leave tampons in?

A medical site said change it every four to six hours. Leaving one in too long, like all day or all night, can cause TSS Toxic Shock Syndrome.
With pads, you can see when you are no longer flowing, but with tampons you can't. I think 4-6 hrs might be a bit exaggerated but certainly if you put one on in the morning, I would change it by afternoon like by dinner. One put in at bedtime could be changed by morning. If you are closer to the end of a period where the tampon isn't soaked and starting to work its way out due to weight, its better to use panty shields to take care of the spotting. I have forgotton tampons before too, but only during the last day or two of cycle when i was barely spotting. Some use one on heavy days with a pad because the flow is that heavy.

Well tomorrow its supposed to be hot so we were planning a trip to the beach. This place has been reported to several shark sightings. Im just wondering what do I do if I see a shark? I cant swim fast or run out because I have a sprained ankle any tips?

If you are that concerned, then don't go out far. If you need to cool off, you can wade in to waist level and squat to get wet all over. For the purpose of swimming exercise, I'd stick with the local swimming pool if I were you.

Okay, so I want to make a garden filled with different and bright colors. The thing is, I've tried this before and lots of animals around my neighborhood destroyed the plants no matter what we did. Now we have some pots with plants in them. We have tomatoes, and morning glories. Our marigolds died sadly along with the petunias and I want to replace them. Being it is Summer, and I live in Southern California, could you recommend plants that can tolerate heat, maybe drought, and lots of sun? Thanks!

It is more fun to walk through an actual plant nursery and the workers there can show you plants that work well for the area. Usually a California nursery is not going to carry many plants that require cooler, shady rainy climate like the pacific north-west. It is better because you can discuss your issue with neighbor hood animals getting into the yard and what type of animals. Dogs and cats...or do you need deer resistant plants. Once you've been shown all that works, then you can make your purchases based on what appeals to your eyes and what limit your budget is.
Good luck

I just started speaking to this boy and at first conversation he was extremely nice! And he said he would speak again with me he said i was hot too, we agreed to do silly stuff, like he'd teach me the break dance and stuff like that but after like 3 weeks he never popped up again.. We started speaking again when I moved to the same town like 4 days ago, I go out and 'hang' out with my mates and stuff around the street but they don't live in the same town so they get a bus home, and I have to walk home every time, so I was walking home and him and 2 friends were behind my on bikes because he lives close to me, but he started saying my name in a high pitched voice and slowly and his mate was like 'stop being a pedo' and the next day, he said 'hi (insert my name here)' from across the street when he was with his mates and we started speaking after that, he says talk later, but he doesn't I had to start the conversation and I hate that there's nothing I hate more than that, but I might have gone into too much detail but I just need advice ! Whether he wants me to speak to him or not ! Please I don't know what to do? :/ and he's 2 years older so I really don't know :( help please! :'( thanks for the answers in advance!:)

right now it seems you are in between the first two steps of a relationship, beyond initial staring at attraction but not quite fully into communication. You can make yourself available to speak to but he has to have enough personal want and desire to seek you out in communication to determine if he likes you enough to date. Also you will be doing the same thing at each stage. If he is interested for example but you decide you are not, you break it off. This is all about finding what you like and don't like in guys so you can make the best choices when you get to the final stage, life time commitment. If you are the one always going after him, you could say after a while, "Look Joe, you showed some interest in talking to me in the beginning but as of lately show no interest in talking to me. I have to start any communications we have. Either you are interested enough to talk more to decide if you might be interested in dating or you are not. Let me know now so I don't keep trying to talk to you if you are not interested."

It is not being too forward, you are not being pushy because these stages are normally fairly short. Only cus people are shy or don't understand relating to the opposite sex does it get drawn out longer. Here are all the stages to help you in the future. Copy and save somewhere on your PC to refer to in the future.

The steps towards a relationship

Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.

Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.

Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level.

Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself.

Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.

Well this boy that I talk to on Facebook everyday told me he likes me and I like him too. I have only known him for a month though. He lives very close to me and Ive hung out with him a couple of times. Should I ask him out or wait a little longer?

INternet friendships can turn tricky once you've met in person. But you already did. You said you have hung out a couple times. It only takes a couple times to know if there is an real chemistry to the person besides meeting of minds. Either he was more like Dad or brother, or he was attractive to you like a boyfriend.
You are at stage two of a relationship...talking to find out if there's enough interest to start dating.
Dating is NOT a commitment. It is only a time to get to know each other better in person. There are things about a persons behavior you can't pick up from talking on net or phone. Right now in this stage, you are looking for things that help you learn what you like and don't like in a guy...same as you did in conversation...it's just a bit more indepth.
Communication stage and date stages can be very short...no need for lenght in time spent at that stage. Where you do want to invest time is the next stage which some used to call
Going steady...its the closest thing to the next stage which is life long commitment.
Going steady now means instead of dates to dinner, dancing or movines...the time you spend together is more 'real life' stuff. You are getting to know what he's like 24/7, how he handles good days and bad days, his inner codes, morals and ethics. At this stage, those old enough, start to live together which is great. its the best way to truly find out what the person is all about. If the person still sounds perfect, you decide to be together forever. Or if finally something comes to the surface where his behavior weakens who you are, then you let him go.
You both do well at communication stage and not turned off by each other so there is no reason to wait to go on to the next.

So much for your insight on things. You help a lot. I'm just not sure what to do. Like how should I go about approaching him or getting some of his guard down. Hes so confusing on how he is with me and I just want to know how he feels like deep inside but he runs from emotions and feelings. Like why is he kissing me but doesn't want to be in a relationship or have sex with me? I've never been in this situation before. He talks and stuff about how he wants kids and everything. Were very much alike. We want the same things. We just tend to say stuff that sets eachother off. Its usually simple little things. And I'd really hate to compare it to the notebook but my friend already did that. I'm not aure how much of a fairytale believer I am anymore due to experiences. But noah and allie fought all the time but were soulmates. Is that in anyway possible? I like to believe anything is. But I don't know what I'm feeling about love and relationships and stuff anymore. It just all seems so cliche I guess in lack of other words.

Sorry but there's nothing you can say to make him decide to take his guard down. Just hang out with him and love and accept him as he is if you want to stay. Deep down, your soul may be sensing there is something for you to learn in this very difficult relationship and thats why you haven't gone running the other direction.
If you have read up on soul mates, yes they definitely can fight and rub each other the wrong way.
Right now your guy talks about kids and future. Talk is cheap. It doesn't mean a person will go through with it. A person who has his guard up due to past hurts and experiences can take a long time to let it down enough to let you in. My ex was a small business accountant and went to meet a new client. >The man acted very bristly and gruff towards him and it continued that way from quite some time until he finally trusted his accountant and let him see just a crack inside. He was still not a sociable friendly person, quiet and reclusive, but he didn't try as hard to be gruff and bristly in his attitude. And that was it, the most he improved.
Maybe thats what you have here. I'm not saying don't stay with him. Just be mentally prepared for it not improving enough for your tastes after years spent being with him. There are people who make it tough to love them. Some end up worth the commitment to stay with them and some are not. Can't say what your guy will be like. It's still up to you.

Maybe give yourself a time limit you are willing to invest before giving up so you can relax more in the now. Say that maybe you are willing to give up 3 years of your life with him, to give him time to come around and if he doesn't, you'll finally leave and move on. If that happens, you are okay with 3 years and nothing to show for it and do not feel it a waste of time. At whatever point your subconscious tells you "any more than such and such amount of time is a waste of my time and effort," then abide by that or you will go on for years being angry with yourself and that turns away possible suitors for a relationship.

19/f Most people think that you have an eating disorder when you're waay to skinny or really big. But the thing is that I'm quite normal sized. I weigh around 112 pounds and I'm 5'4".
I was quite big as a kid and started losing a lot of weight when I was around 10 years old. And ever since then my relationship with food was never normal. Even when I was big I always ate to make me feel better cause I didn't have any friends. After I lost weight I gained some again and then I continued starving, then I gained weight and then I starved again and so on. And that cycle never really stopped until today. I either eat way too much or nothing at all. I dont know how to eat normally. I don't really enjoy food. Either I shove it down my throat or I starve. And right now I have days where I starve and other days where I eat way too much. So I pretty much stay at the weight that I am now cause I'm constantly gaining and losing. Thing is I hate my body. I want to be thin so badly and I dont think that I am. I look at myself and I could cry. Sometimes I dont even shower cause it discusts me. I hate myself so much after I eat. And i have the urge to continue eating even though I'm full. I think about food all the time. When I'm starving I watch cooking shows so I can "eat" with my eyes which actually helps me (weird I know) And when I eat I hate myself all day for eating. I dont throw up my food though and I dont have anorexia. So do I have an eating disorder? Or is this a normal thing women go through? I have talked to my mom about it but she doesn't really bother. I think she thinks that it's normal or not a big deal. I mean she sees me eating and I'm not too skinny so why should she worry right? Is there something wrong with me? Or am I really just overreacting about this?

Yes, those are signs of an eating disorder. I am 5'3 and 110 usually. That is normal for me so you at 112 is not bad at all. Even if you were 118-120 that is still okay.
This issue is you not thinking your body is beautiful and being disgusted by it. To what are you comparing yourself if at all?
The ads we see for clothing, makeup, vacations, you name it, all have the prettiest looking, sexy people. on tv, magazines
Its all fake. The photos are airbrushed, the models have to have an unnatural low weight that is unhealthy because TV camera's tend to make a person look heavier than they are and younger than they are. Plus the celebrities without makeup, some look worse than I do as an average person. No one knows what natural beauty is any more so most women think they are deficiant in their looks somehow. Its just that not all get into an eating disorder over it but they are unhappy with their looks.
I suggest asking a college counselor to point you in the direction of help or if you are working, what your insurance plan covers on counseling, most have a one or two time free visit and after, you have to pay. But you could at least get some recommendations.
I also would like you to look up celebrities without makeup...before and after pics. And I Hhave one to share of what natural boobs for young women look like as well as women who have nursed. You will note that none look like the celebrities on tv.

http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

Also, you need to realise that guys all have different tastes. The few who are attracted to the fake look of women do not make good boyfriends or husbands. The ones who like the natural, real woman, with her spots/freckles, wrinkles, zits, chub, fine hair, and silver hair are wonderful men who will know how to treat you right and a pretty face will never make them want to look elsewhere because they like you exactly as you are. I have some silver hair and my face has wrinkles. I still catch the eyes of men where-ever I go who like my particular look.

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