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I want more attention from my boyfriend without nagging or being clingy.
21/f
My boyfriend and I have had to do long distance for the past 1 1/2 months because his family an friends live far away. It's been going well, but it's to the point where we know eachothers routine completely. I could tell you what he's doing any hour of the day. We have about 20 days till he comes back. I really want more attention from him. But, I don't want to sound clingy or annoying. He is much busier than I am, and I've been doing well occupying myself with whatever, but it's getting to the point where we are more just checking in, etc.
So, what can I say/do to show that I want more attention? (without nagging!)
Also, how can I spice things up so it's not just the same old routine?
Thanks!
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Having a one time conversation when he is relaxed with nothing weighing on his mind is the best time. Find out how hes feeling and then if its a good time, tell him you want to have a talk with him.
So let him know you realize that guys usually have 3 or 4 things that are all equal priorities in his life, whether it be a relationship, job, school, family or volunteering, etc... He needs to be good at juggling his time in balance so that you are one of the top priorities, it is only fair. Agree ahead that you will let him know if what he gives is not enough for your liking so the two of you can re-evaluate the relationship...if you are best for each other or not. What he may have to give IS his best and can never change.
The word relate is in relationship. To relate means to respond especially favorably to, interact with, connect with. When two people are the best possible mates for each other, the want to interact with, be with each other is overpowering and places that want as top priority. I have that. It feels like wanting your mate to be with you no matter what you are doing, running errands, doing dishes, shopping, just because having their presence and company to experience life together makes it more fun and enjoyable simply by them being there.
I don't know what your usual routine is so it's hard to give you ideas that you might not already be using as part of your normal routine.
You will know better what you haven't done.
If its more of a welcome back celebration, get him a 'just because' card and write a poem for him inside, pouring out your feelings for him. Have a candlelight dinner and cook or order in his favorite food. Have some wine on hand if you both enjoy it. I remember going to the 2nd hand store to find a top that showed off my cleavage and was very flattering. Something new to the wardrobe to wear for him need not be brand new and expensive. Play your favorite music in the background, not too distracting so you can talk.
Ask him first to tell stories about times he spent with the family. If it's important to him, it should be important enough to you that you want to hear about it. Once that has been shared, he can focus on you. Or he may ask you first what you have been doing. Good luck
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You could give him... less attention? That way he'll want more attention from you. Take a few days completely away from each other and you'll miss each other and have lots too tell when you do chat again. Maybe you could surprise him with a day out or a party when he gets back?
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