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I Have a boyfriend. But I like Someone else.
Okay. So. I've dated this guy about 3 times now. The 3rd time, We stayed broken up and didn't speak for months. Then. We got back together and he loves me like he did in the beginning. However. In the months that he didn't talk to me, I started to like another guy I'd been talking to over Facebook since last December. Since then, we've talked all day, everyday. He didn't express to me that he liked me until after I had a boyfriend. In fact, he said he wasn't sure about me when I told him about my boyfriend wanting to get back together. Now I don't know what to do. The second boy said that he wants to make us work and that we'd be together for a long time. And i like the thought of that. But I'm not sure about how much he really likes me. Lately, we're not as in "like" as we were a few days ago. But. Hes the kind of boy I've always wanted. He's a Risk on my feelings getting hurt but he. understands me. On the other hand. My boyfriend is "safe". I know he loves me and I can see a safe future with him. But he doesn't really get me or my interests. He makes fun of me a lot and says really immature things. This makes me sound kind of bad, i know. But its not like that. I care for both of them but I don't love my boyfriend anymore and i feel like I'm not being fair to him. Please Help. And if you suggest I break up with my boyfriend. How can I do that? I've already hurt him before so I don't know what to say. Thank You.
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It's a tough situation to be in when you're confused between two guys.
When you're in a situation where you aren't caring as much for your boyfriend, you need to break up. You don't want to stay with him and hope your feelings for another guy go away. It's just not fair to him.
This is your call, if you are going to break up with your boyfriend, don't go after the other guy, at least not right away.
As for breaking up with him, it will hurt him no matter how you do it. But it's good to be kind and straightforward. You don't have to tell him you like someone else, but just tell him that you're not feeling it anymore.
After that, give yourself time. Take your time with the other guy and make sure that both feelings are mutual.
You're not breaking up with your boyfriend for another guy. You're breaking up with him because you don't love him like you used to. So that's how you make sure you don't feel as hurt if this other guy doesn't want you. If this other guy didn't want you and you knew that, it would still be right to not be with your boyfriend until your feelings are sorted out.
So do this for yourself and give yourself time.
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Whoa...3 dates and you break up and get back together and he loved you already on the first date? I highly doubt it was something as strong as love. Although some people fall in love at first sight, its very few and I doubts they'd break up for months if that was the case. Your agreement to be his girlfriend when you want to check out an internet boyfriend sounds like a mess. I thing that maybe if you understand what the steps are to a relationship, that might help you decide where you are at with number one and whether it is time to leave and go on to number two. Here's a list I have created of the steps to relationships...how they progress or stop at any point if something is wrong. the objective in the end is the right partner one day for a commited long term relationship like marriage.
The Normal steps to a Relationship
Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.
Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.
Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level.
Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself.
Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.
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