"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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I recently started my period and Im a swimmer. But I cant find the right hole to put the tampon in, every time I try it doesnt work. And Ive wasted about twenty tampons!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!! Where do I put it?!?! Holly, from North Carolina (link)
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In the trash!
Pads are much better for your body during your menstrual cycle. Pads can be worn during light days, heavy days, and even simple discharge days. Tampons can only be worn during your actual period or your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome increases dramatically. You also do not need to worry about waking in the middle of the night to change your pad if you're not a heavy bleeder; however, with tampons they MUST be changed every 6 - 8 hours or bacteria will multiply so quickly it can cause some severe problems.
Symptoms of TSS include high fever, vomiting or diarrhea, severe muscle aches, a feeling of extreme weakness or dizziness, and a rash that looks like a sunburn. If you ever have these symptoms while wearing a tampon, remove it and tell an adult immediately. Have someone take you to the nearest emergency room as soon as possible.
When I tried tampons I ended up passing out over and over again within seconds of insertion. My body was obviously screaming at me that something was terribly wrong although nothing was painful at all. I often wonder if some other women have experienced this and thought it was normal because it definitely is not okay to experience. I really believe it dramatically shocked my body and that's why I passed out.
My first gynecologist I had actually told me that tampons increased my risk of cancer. My mother had cancer before in her vagina area and was told to NEVER wear tampons again because if there is any cancerous cells in there it will irritate them and cause them to begin multiplying if they aren't already. My mother was also told to tell her female children this too since we are higher risk for that sort of cancer. I asked my first gynecologist about it and he definitely recommended not using tampons because of the increase cancer risk.
The longer you leave a tampon in, the higher risk of TSS you are taking. Bacteria begin to grow in the warm, moist environment of your vagina. These bacteria can grow within the tampon, enter the body from inside the vagina, then invade the bloodstream, releasing toxins that can cause a very severe, life-threatening illness.
Tampons also pull a bit of your vaginal lining out when being removed, believe it or not. This is why many women who use tampons aren't as sensitive as they once were inside of their vaginas and why many tampon-users suffer from yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. The tampon also can leave particles behind from it, causing bacteria and yeast to grow on it. Another case is that women are frequently needing to purchase personal lubricant for sexual activities because their bodies have stopped producing enough natural lubricant to engage in such activities without problems.
The ripping of your flesh and leaving particles of material behind cannot be avoided when using tampons and could very well be why you experience discomfort with removal. I would be big money on that being the reason it is painful to remove tampons from your body. This will not go away until you become somewhat desensitized down there--and what woman truly wants that?! Please consider switching products for your own health and safety.
Here are some good websites about why women should stay clear of tampon-usage. Theses sites are pretty darn interesting:
http://www.thekeeperstore.com/dangers-tampons/
http://www.thebody.com/content/art497.html
http://www.earthisland.org/journal/tampons.html
http://www.frontiernet.net/~ruthb/Tampons.html
Beginners typically feel the tampon inserted until the vagina is desensitized enough from the insertion of a dry piece of bleached rayon/cotton blend and the removal of such, including the lining of the vaginal wall. It may take one cycle or it may take 6 cycles for your body to lose enough sensitivity for you to no longer be able to feel the inserted tampon.
That's right. That painful feeling will go away. After you lose enough sensitivity in your vagina. Desensitizing your vagina!
Just like any other fiber, the tampon absorbs moisture. Your vagina is SUPPOSE to be moist though. So, the tampon is constantly sucking away the natural fluid balance in your vagina. The vagina gets dry. If you've ever put lotion on your arm and then accidentally laid it on a sheet of paper then you will notice how it sticks to it. You pull the paper off and that's that. Imagine putting a wad of thick, absorbent paper in your vagina. It sucks that moisture away from the walls. It sticks to the flesh. Then you have to pull it off. Your vagina is a lot more sensitive and tender than you arm.
If your eyes were constantly watery, would it be okay to put a cotton ball in them? Think the cotton might actually dry out your eyes? Think it might lead to some irritation? After awhile it probably wouldn't feel uncomfortable to remove the cotton either.
In addition, tampons have been linked to dioxin exposure. There is no safe level of dioxin, and dioxin has been linked to a wide variety of health problems (cancer, endometriosis, reproductive damage, retardation, immune system damage).
Do you vagina and your entire body a favor and throw away the rest of the tampons. If you insist on inserting a menstrual product into your body then use something safe, such as a reusable menstrual cup. The link I included above also has a link to what menstrual cups are and how they don't put your body at risk for further health complications and do not cause vaginal desensitization.
"The cotton and rayon that is typical for mass produced tampons may actually contain pesticides and chlorine. Pesticides are used on the products while still in the fields to reduce the risk of bug infestations within the crops. These pesticides kill living insects so that they do not damage the crop. Chlorine is used purely as a whitener to bleach the finished products. This chlorine may actually cause a form of dioxin to be created within the product.
Dioxin is associated with environmental pollution and is highly toxic to the human body. Dioxin is actually said to be one of the most harmful and toxic chemicals known to science today and has been deemed a serious health threat. Dioxin has been linked to cancer, severe reproductive and developmental problems, immune system damage, interference with normal hormonal function and production, birth defects, infertility, increase chances of miscarriages, reduced sperm counts, endometriosis, diabetes, mental impairment, skin disorders, and even lung problems. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has reported no "safe" level of exposure to dioxin."
As a very last note, you may want to check out menstrual cups. Here is a link to a question about some and my answer is pretty thorough when explaining them:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=533850
I hope things are healthy and you find out what your problem is. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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If a guy sticks it in you but doesnt cum.. can u still get pregnant? (link)
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My friend got pregnant this way.
While a full ejaculation can contain as many as 100 million sperm at a time, the sperm count within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million. It takes one to get you pregnant.
Yes.
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I know I will probably get a lot of rude replies, but.. I feel it is the best for my child. I am currently going through a divorce, and of course there is a child involved. The thing is, I never wanted to have her, but because of my religion I was unable to get an abortion. During the time I've raised her, I could never love her. I did try with all my being, but I just could not love her. I am also concerned for her because of her father. I feel the reason I can't care about her is because I hate her father. I felt it may be best if I gave up on her and allowed her to live with him and his family. Is me being unable to love her a valid reason to be able to terminate my parental rights? (link)
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{Edited in to add: My mother appears to have never been happier since making this choice. It was right for her and it may very well be right for you, too.}
In my experience, yes.
Your child deserves to be with someone who does love her.
Having a baby is entirely different than raising a child. A child develops a personality. You spend time communicating and exchanging information with a child, even as small as a few years old. When that child grows and you have not developed appropriate attachment as mother-child then you're likely to not do what's in your child's best interest, as a parent.
No parent should ever dislike their child because their past mistakes. No matter what you choose to do here, you should realize that your child is a separate person from her father. I understand that maybe you can't help those feelings though.
"I felt it may be best if I gave up on her and allowed her to live with him and his family."
If you feel that it's best, and in this case it sounds absolutely correct, then you should certainly do what is best.
I know a woman who got pregnant at a party. She felt obligated to stay with the man who impregnated her. She got married, had that baby, and spent 18 years being miserable and not loving the family she had created. Because of this, she outwardly told the children that they had not really been desired and that they were the only reason she felt obligated to the marriage. When she chose to waiver her parental rights and leave, it was ultimately the best decision. While the father of those children isn't the best parent in the world, it is important to be raised by someone who loves you.
If you don't love your child, and you know that her father will love her more and will raise her decently, then there isn't any reason to keep her. Trapping her into a parent-child relationship where her own mother doesn't love her is tragic. Imagine how it would be if your single-parent mother raised you and never truly loved you.
And, of course, we know that not loving someone doesn't mean hurting them or neglecting them; however, it does mean that a person doesn't always strive to do what is the wise decision for the child in question. Not loving your child doesn't make you an awful person. It just means you need to make the appropriate changes so that your child will be in a situation where she IS loved.
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What happens when the guys finishes first and he just stops leaving you unsatisfied? Do they know to keep going or do us girls have to tell them to not stop? (link)
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Typically, after a male ejaculates he loses his erection. Without an erection, penetration is difficult and very uncomfortable for the man to attempt. Requesting him to continue thrusting would be the wrong thing to do.
It's like being told you MUST have sex when your vagina isn't wet just because your partner wants to "get off". It would be uncomfortable and might even hurt. It just isn't what our bodies are suppose to do when it comes to sex.
If something happens and the man ejaculates before a woman has climaxed then there are plenty of things that can be done. Communicating with your partner about this beforehand is the best place to start.
Make some sort of plan. Suggest that if either of you climax before then you two could engage in another activity, such as oral sex or the other masturbating the not-yet-climaxed party.
Talk with your partner and throw around a few ideas. Tell him about your worries before you engage in this sort of activity. If problems arise, you'll have a little bit of an idea of how to proceed. Then, if he climaxes before you, he will have an idea of things to do to ensure your satisfaction as well.
Another thing that many people find extremely helpful is to build up the woman before engaging in the penetrative sex. If she is already close to climax before beginning then the odds of her climaxing along with the man is greater. The build-up to the actual penetration can be anything from sensual kissing and touches to oral sex. Again, this is wise to be discussed with your partner beforehand.
And, as always, please know that not every woman climaxes. A lot of women have found that it takes a great deal of effort to reach that point. Some women never have an orgasm. Requiring that your partner help you to achieve orgasm every single time you engage in sexual activity would be ridiculous. Sex is just having that intimate bond with your partner and shouldn't be used as a tool strictly for physical pleasure.
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Me and my boyfriend had anal sex and it slipped into my vagina. Can u get an infection from it? (link)
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Yes, and a pretty nasty infection at that. We're not talking about a normal yeast infection. We're talking about bacteria growth inside of the warm, moist environment that your vagina is.
Be on the look out for infection signs. Remember, having just one symptom is enough to merit a doctor's visit.
So, look for things like:
Odd discharge
Odd odors (strong, sour, fishy, musty, anything different than the normal 'you')
Vaginal pain or discomfort
Itching, burning, irritation
If you get an infection that you think relates to the fecal matter that was probably shoved into your vagina then see a doctor. There is no (NO!) over the counter remedy for bacterial infections and leaving them untreated can do damage to your reproductive organs.
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Almost 15/F Guy is 20/M...
I've been talking to a guy online and he's from a different country. I like meeting new people, but at first he came off really strong.
He would call me, and text me, and comment on my pictures on facebook, which really was uncomfortable.
I texted him back and told him that he was being stalker-ish, at that time, he backed off and we became sorta "civil".
I have trust issues with guys, A LOT of trust issues, and I can't find myself to trust this guy much, but I am still talking to him.
He acts like he's met be before, and it's not freaky, I'm only curious. He asked me if he could call me sweetie, and I didn't really care, so I told him sure. Sometimes he asks me if I missed him when we don't talk and we'll have in depth conversations, which is nice because my guy best friend doesn't know half the stuff about me that this guy is guessing about.
It is nice to have someone to talk to that really gets me.
Anyways, how should I tell him to "back off" nicely? I don't want him to say sorry, I just want him to know that.....I don't know how to explain it. Maybe that: I don't understand why he is getting so close to me and saying things to me like that. (link)
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You need to stop sending mixed signals. Seriously. You're even sending YOURSELF mixed signals. Read this:
"I have trust issues with guys, A LOT of trust issues, and I can't find myself to trust this guy much..."
"He would call me, and text me, and comment on my pictures on facebook..."
"...I am still talking to him."
"...we'll have in depth conversations, which is nice because my guy best friend doesn't know half the stuff about me..."
You met this strange guy from another country. You gave him access to some of your personal details (Facebook), including your photos. You gave him your personal phone number, in which you've answered calls and texts from him. You allow him to call you sweetie and discuss missing each other frequently. You tell him things that not even your best guy friend knows about you.
This. This is not trust issues. You've opened yourself up completely to this stranger.
You tell him to "back off" but then you still communicate with him in this manner.
I'd be confused too.
Does she like me, or doesn't she?
"I don't understand why he is getting so close to me and saying things to me like that."
You are LETTING him.
Now, I'm not saying this guy is some creepy predator that has scoured the internet for the his next 15-year-old victim. Not at all. Most people on the internet are not pedophiles looking for a victim.
However, as unfortunate as this sounds, a lot of people from outside of the U.S. are overly flirty with American citizens in hopes that they will build a connection so that they can come to America, too. Even people in decent countries will play on the hearts of Americans to help gain citizenship so that they can begin their dream life as something like an American actor. I'm not saying that this is certainly what is beginning to happen here, but I am saying that it IS a great possibility and outweighs an online-pedophile-factor by a million.
What you really should do is break it off with this guy and make it clear that what has happened has been inappropriate. Two people have told you this and it appears you didn't want to hear either of them. You should realize something here though: you are leading him on.
You're giving him all of the green-light "go-ahead" signals here. You're giving him your personal...everything! You're spending a lot of time with him. You're revealing things about yourself that are personal. You're giving him direct lines of communication. You're allowing him to be "in your circle" as if he were standing next to you, as if you went to school with this person.
Maybe you don't care about being called Sweetie. It isn't a big deal, right? Consider what he thinks of it. "Sweetie" is endearing. While he may not say that outright, it means there is a bond of a feeling of closeness. If he started calling you "Slutbag" you'd have an opinion, wouldn't you? Letting him call you "Sweetie" is an issue if you don't feel that connection to where you want to move things forward.
You should have stopped him there.
"Thanks for wanting to be so nice to me, but, really, I don't think that's appropriate for this situation. We're just online friends and calling someone 'Sweetie' typically means more. I'm sorry but that would make things uncomfortable for me and might give you the wrong impression down the line, even."
Telling him to "back off" nicely is going to create more of a dilemma. He's going to think that he still has some "chance" or some "connection" with you and that you're just playing a little harder to get. You need to be clear, straight-forward, and BLUNT.
"I know we've been talking for the past little while and I need to address something pretty serious here. I don't want to offend you but I think I've given you mixed signals. The truth is, for me, we're just online friends and nothing more. I shouldn't have allowed you to call me endearing names and I shouldn't have revealed so much about my personal life to you. It's gotten to the point to where I'm getting uncomfortable with this situation because I think you're trying to push things forward and I'm trying to go in reverse a little. I need to make this clear though. Please know, we are just online friends and that is all. Nothing more. I enjoy chatting with you occasionally but there will never be anything more."
So, what is what it boils down to.
He's being aggressive because you've opened the doors for him and invited him to pursue you. You've been fairly accepting of his flirts. You've played a little hard to get and, when he pushed forward with wanting to call you a sweet name, you invited him on forward.
You need to be direct with the man about what is going on here. You need to be honest with him and yourself. You made mistakes here. Clear them up. Express the issue. Let him know your side.
And, like the other Advicenators, I certainly do recommend you cut off complete contact; however, I get the distinct impression that you won't be doing that. Just, as additional advice, I'd stop communicating with him since things have gotten out of hand. That is all.
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missionary doggy and cowgirl. (link)
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Correction to the information below!
Cowgirl is not when the woman is on top and the male is giving oral sex. Cowgirl is when the woman is on top "riding" the man's penis. The same goes with "reverse cowgirl" only the woman's butt is facing the man as she "rides." Not on the face!
Wikipedia actually has these explained a little more and has cartoon examples:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_positions
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19f
Okay so the past couple of days i have noticed my nipples have gotten bigger my boyfriend has noticed too. We are sexually active and I am not on birth control yet, I am waiting for my period to start before i begin them. The thing about my period is already 3 days late but any form of stress always makes me late and it has been a very stressful month haha. I have taken a HPT and it was negative. So i dont think it is caused from pregnancy. What are some other reasons for nipples to grow??? (link)
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It very well could be a symptom of pregnancy.
Negative pregnancy tests can lie. Positives don't though. Remember that.
My friend in high school was 17 and pregnant. Throughout her ENTIRE pregnancy all home pregnancy tests showed negative, for whatever reason. We're talking, her sporting a giant 8-month pregnancy belly holding a "-" pregnancy test. It was pretty funny.
If in doubt, see a doctor. Pregnancy tests from the doctor don't typically show false-negatives if they do the bloodwork correctly.
However, when I was young, around 11, I noticed one morning that my nipples had changed drastically. They had previously been fairly "normal" sized and were suddenly larger.
I had not had sex. I had not engaged in ANY sexual activity. I was certainly not pregnant.
What I figure? Hormonal changes.
At 19, you probably wouldn't be experiencing these changes; however, they do say the female body is still maturing into the early 20s. At 19, it's possible that your hormones are fluctuating and your breast tissue, including your nipples and areolas, have grown because of this.
On a side note, I hate how people just throw around "abortion" like it's no big deal. Like, God forbid anyone would ever even CONSIDER adoption if they didn't want a child, right? Just a minor rant. ;)
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whats the first sign of pregnancy besides a missed period? (link)
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Most of the symptoms are also symptoms of PMS, unfortunately. For example, many pregnant women have felt light cramping and spotting for a couple of days in early pregnancy.
Nausea / Vomitting
Cravings
Appetite changes (increase / decrease)
Frequent urination
Irritability
Fatigue
Breast tenderness
Hot / cold flashes
Mood swings
Diarrhea / constipation
Lightheadedness
Dizziness
Heartburn
Bloating
Lower back discomfort
Sensitivities to smells
Body temperature increase
Weight gain (if very overweight, unexlained weightloss may also be a symptom)
A positive pregnancy test ;)
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Hello to all and thank you for your interest; this question is open to all! :)
I would like to know your brutally honest opinion about girls with dread locks.
Hot? Gross? Don't care? Let me know!
Thanks for your time!
Blessings :) (link)
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Hideous.
Short.
Long.
Male.
Female.
Any color.
Any race.
Hideous.
Absolutely hideous. Additionally, disgusting. Revolting. Don't do it. Major turn-off. Major ick-factor. And, no, my issue with them is not that I think the hair isn't washed or something. It's just extremely unattractive looking.
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Okay, so I'm 16, and I'm female, my boyfriend is also 16, we have been together since we were 13, and we love each other, my dad died last year and my boyfriend was there an he was my dads bestfriend, I'm worried what my dad would say if we had sex for the first time... Should we? Lame question but I need advice:( (link)
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I just want to say that engaging in mutual masturbating, oral sex, or anal sex when trying to avoid vaginal sex is a TERRIBLE idea. What happens is that you get in that heat of the moment. Your hormones are going crazy and your body is doing things your brain hasn't yet thought of. You suddenly find yourself in a position where you haven't thought things through clearly. Trust me on this.
Saying, "No vaginal sex! But we can masturbate each other, have oral sex, and maybe even try out anal sex a time or two..." is asking for trouble. Big trouble.
If you must, if you truly must, engage in some sort of sexual pleasure then masturbate alone.
You're 16.
You know in your heart that your father wouldn't approve right now, and that's because YOU know that YOU don't approve of these actions.
Hold off.
Love doesn't mean you have to have sex. Lots and lots of people have sex every day and don't love each other. Having sex doesn't show love at all.
Be 16 with your boyfriend. Do 16-year-old things. Go on double dates. See a few lame movies. Go rollerblading. Pick up a hobby together.
If you love each other, truly love each other, then waiting for sex is no big deal. Sex has it's time. 16 is not the time.
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So I'm almost done with my first year of college and I'm transferring for my sophomore year. I found this amazing college down south that has my major and pretty much everything i want, it sounds perfect. I'm just scared that I'll be alone. That's my biggest fear. I have two best friends that i would die for up here and my family and everything. I guess I'm just scared I won't make any friends. I'm a super nice person and i make friends easily, but I've never ever been "the new girl" or the girl coming in knowing absolutely no one. So is there anyone out there that went to college far away not knowing anyone and how did it turn out? (link)
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Consider this a part of transitioning into your next life phase.
I say this because, while I went to a college very close to home, eventually you will have to be the new person somewhere, even if it's when it comes time to get a job. You can't always bring your friends to work ;)
I work a great job. 40 hours a week, Friday through Monday. Did I know anyone when I started? Absolutely not. Not a soul. Not a person in my training class. Not a person in the office building at all.
As a matter of fact, I grew up in North Carolina and I'm currently living in the Northern part of the Mid-west. MAJOR difference. Talk about being far away from home! ;)
And, while it was scary, it's a part of life. Being the newbie is a part of the transitioning.
If you experience it while you're young, it'll be easier to deal with. You'll know what to expect from people who are also new and people who are well-adjusted to the environment already.
Leaving two friends behind to transition into your next phase is okay. You can still communicate with them, and still see them occasionally, but it opens you up to meeting new people, building new friendships, and learning new things, even though they are all currently out of your comfort zone.
So, I say, go for it if you're truly interested in this other college and everything else (family, finances) are accepting of this. Don't let being "new" ward you off because, like I said, eventually you will come to a part in your life where you will be forced to be "new."
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My girlfriend has been lying to me about smoking since we starting going out. I caught her about 6 months into it and a couple of times after that and she has tried but its not working out.
This question is for smokers
Would you be able to quit smoking for your boyfriend or girlfriend?
she says she loves me and wants to marry me but she cant do this even with my help it seems (link)
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Smoking is more than a bad habit. It's an addiction. There are things that happen within the brain when a smoker inhales a puff of a freshly lit cigarette. When they go hours without smoking they have withdrawal side effects such as minor tremors, headaches, fatigue, irritability, and strong cravings.
She may WANT to quit.
She may be physically unable to just quit though.
It's like a cocaine junkie. Do you just tell them, "If you love me, you'll never snort that again!" and they follow-through because they love you?
It isn't that she loves cigarettes more than you or doesn't love you any more or less because she's a smoker.
It means she's addicted.
Her lying is the REAL issue.
Why does she lie?
Is she ashamed?
Or does she seriously not WANT to quit but wants to keep you around?
That's what the problem is.
If she WANTS to quit then it's a process that takes time. She has to gradually cut back or look for alternative solutions to help curb those cravings and reduce the desire for nicotine. The patch, gum, electronic cigarettes, even.
But that's only going to happen if she truly WANTS to quit.
It's a process.
Talk with her. Communicate your feelings. Tell her that you're so unsure now. That you know she says she'll quit and that she promises she has but then you realize she's still smoking and that it is hurtful. Encourage her to seek some additional help. Sometimes smokers get some guidance through therapy sessions with a counselor to help reduce some of the stress they may experience.
And smokers do tend to do very well with getting into a scheduled routine. If she smokes very often then maybe a smoke every hour or two can be scheduled. Then, after a week of being on a set schedule, she cuts one of the smoke breaks out and see how she does. If it's difficult to cut out a smoke break, give it another week, and then during the time she would normally be having a smoke (and is cutting this one particular break out) she has a healthy snack of, say, baby carrots. Smokers tend to do REALLY well with something like that.
Help her find alternative solutions. Maybe the patch program. Maybe the gum. Maybe a hobby that she'll get swept up into and it'll help her cut back on the smokes. Talk with her. Get your feelings out there. Work on this TOGETHER.
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First of all, no judgements.
If I were to get pregnant with my boyfriend and before the abortion time limit he decides to stray(cheat, leave me, etc) and I find myself suddenly unable to go through with the pregnancy for whatever reason, does he have a right to say no? In other words, can the law stop me from having an abortion if he doesn't want me to have one?
If that were to happen, I don't see why it would be fair that he makes me go through 9 months of hell so he can have the kid when he was unreliable and irresponsible enough to cheat or leave me... once again, no judgements, please. I just need to know my options.. (link)
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Unfortunately, no.
While it may be "your body" the law doesn't quite grasp the fact that it's also HIS child. A child is 50% of his genetics. He reproduced WITH you. You didn't spontaneously become pregnant when he approached you, you know?
Any input he might have about a potential abortion would be directed to you. It would be up to you if you wanted to respect his opinion and ideas about his own child. Legally, he has no rights to the unborn even though it is considered to be his.
9 months of Hell isn't quite right. A lot of women really love pregnancy. A lot of women aren't ill during pregnancy. A lot of women feel empowered knowing that they carried a growing life inside of them for 9 months. I've never met a woman who said she experienced "nine months of Hell" after getting to cuddle her newborn. Single woman or not.
And, speaking of single, my God, do you know how many men and women are infertile and would give up A LOT to be able to have a newborn to raise as theirs? I know, first-hand!
On the opposite hand of your partner potentially being unreliable and irresponsible...have you considered the fact that YOU would actually be the person who CHOOSES to be connected to this person deep enough to be sexually intimate and risk the chances of pregnancy? What I'm saying here is, if you have a fear that you may possibly be choosing the wrong guy then hold off and make the RIGHT decision to begin with. CHOOSING to have sex is CHOOSING to take on the risk of possibly becoming pregnant. He wouldn't be "making" you do anything. If you're old enough to be having sex then hopefully you have enough mentality to figure out the consequences of such and reconsider your actions based on that knowledge of potential pitfalls.
Abortion isn't for people who are in the situation of being single parents. How many single parents are there that love their children and get by well? Plenty. Nobody is happy when they are left but it doesn't mean you should take that pain out on a child, born or not.
It might sound scary to not have a partner to help you raise a child, but, seriously, killing the child because of this? And your only worry is that the father would disagree with that decision? Honestly? That's what you're worried most about?
Consider this: If the man truly doesn't want you to have an abortion...maybe he's willing to take on the responsibility of raising that child. Obviously the child would mean something to him, even if it means nothing to you.
While you may be the one carrying it for 9 months, the father could actually choose to raise this child. For years. Without you.
9 months < Years
Feeling down for 9 months < Raising a child and putting their needs ahead of your own for YEARS
Neither of you want to raise the baby? Adoption. I'd willingly hold out my arms for the infant as soon as he or she came in this world. You wouldn't have to know any part of the rest of his or her life. Making sure a baby is taken care of, even if it isn't by you? Responsible.
And you can't say, "If he wasn't responsible enough to remain faithful then I'm not giving him my child!"
...murder isn't very responsible either. Running from your problems is not responsible. Making poor decisions, where you didn't quite think things through and build a sturdy foundation in a situation, is also irresponsible.
If all your worried about is "9 months of Hell" if your partner were to leave you then keep your panties on and build a relationship first.
Unwanted pregnancies are mistakes. Adults don't run from mistakes. We deal with mistakes. We learn from the mistakes. We take responsibility for our actions. We don't pretend the mistake never happened.
No judgments. Just honesty. Open your eyes.
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monday through friday i take showers evrey day. and i usually curl or straighten my hair so i need to blow dry it, so i use heat tamer. and i dont over do it. but they after i blow dry it it gets staticy. so then after i curl or straighten my hair i have to put in serum. so like today i blowed it out and straightened it and the roots looked so greasy i have no idea why! i think some of it is because of the blow dryer. cause when it air drys it doesnt feel staticy or sticky or greasy..whats the problem hear?? also i hear putting egg or olive oil on hair helps?? how do i go about doing so? thank you lots. (link)
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I'd think about switching shampoos and other hair products and minimizing the usage of hair products like blow dryers, curling irons, and straighteners.
They all can weigh your hair down, and while your hair might LOOK normal, the roots are being tugged on by the extra weight and it's causing the pores to secret more oils. Having a heavy shampoo that is difficult to rinse out can make your hair look awful. Did you know it takes at least 4 minutes to rinse most of all of the shampoo out of your hair? Most people don't even rinse for a full minute.
When applying conditioner, skip the roots. No need to slather on the conditioner on your roots. If you must, go very light on your roots with conditioner. This also goes for any after-washing oils or leave-in conditioners you may use.
So, you might want to try some other brands of shampoo, conditioner, oils, etc.
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so i hooked up with this guy just once and we're both back for spring break and i wanna hook up again. he said i was really good after the first time. we both don't want a relationship so don't say "don't cause you'll fall in love" or any of that. i just want to hookup haha. do guys like being umm a bootycall i guess? lol so should i text him? (link)
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Based on your previous questions, you're likely to be fibbing a little here. You even say:
"I hooked up with this guy the first time we hung out...
I'll see him during spring break ...
I don't want to be remembered as easy because i hooked up with him ...
... want to get to know him better. Like a date.. ..."
You are asking to be hurt.
If you have any feelings, ANY AT ALL, that you might possibly kind of somewhat want to be in something even remotely like a relationship with this guy at any point in the future...
No.
No, no, no. You're just dragging yourself into a pit of darkness.
And, I'm sorry, but do girls actually LIKE being bootycalls? No self-respecting girl does. You end up degrading yourself and allowing yourself to be a tool. You look back on it years later and say, "Man, why did I do that? Ugh."
Just because you don't see any consequences right at this very second doesn't mean they don't exist and won't arise.
Be a young woman. Grow. Don't let yourself be used and tossed around. You are better than that.
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My friend with benefit go out with another lady,
and still want FWB with me, but I compuse, ia that
cheater? I fell hurt when they togother, Now he said (link)
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You need to know something upfront:
Friend with benefits means nothing.
It doesn't mean he likes you. It doesn't mean he has any attachment to you. It doesn't mean he actually wants to spend time with you. He doesn't care about YOU. He cares about the BENEFITS.
That being said, he isn't cheating on you. Not at all. Friends with benefits is like saying, "Let's sleep together--and with other people. I don't care."
You could very well tell the other gal that you're seeing him too. If she's cheating on her husband with this guy then there are good chances that she's just in a friends with benefits relationship with him, too. Which, again, means they're both open to sleeping with other people.
Would I tell her? Sure. I'd say something about seeing what's-his-name, too, but I wouldn't be defensive and be like, "He's mine! You stole him!" because she didn't. Not at all. You kind of AGREED to only be sex to him. You can't expect him to think it was anything more.
Stop sleeping with him. Stop seeing him. Move on, move forward, and avoid the creeps!
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I have gotten cold sores since elementary school and manage them fairly well now (I am 21). I used to always get so mad because I was the only one of my friends with this problem and it was embarrassing having to call it "herpes". My mom always tried to comfort me and would say how it's really unfortunate I was born with it. But she doesn't have type I or type II herpes... So I'm starting to feel very unsure and confused as to how I was possibly born with it or acquired it so young? (link)
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Coldsores are always herpes.
Always.
You can be born with them, sure. Passed along from your mother during childbirth. Most certainly.
It's still herpes though.
My mother believes that coldsores are something a person catches like the flu virus.
Mothers aren't always correct.
Coldsores = herpes
Always.
Don't believe me still?
Go to your doctor. Have some bloodwork done, specify you want them to look for HSV-1 AND HSV-2. I promise you, one of those will come up positive.
During an outbreak...have your doctor swab the sore a bit and test it for HSV-1 and HSV-2. I promise you, one of those will come up positive.
You don't have to go around screaming, "My cold sore is herpes!"
But it's the truth. You can deny it all you want. It's still the truth.
I caught hsv-1 from my mother when I was about 4 years old. I remember being in kindergarten and going to school with my first-ever outbreak, which hurt SO badly. My mother had innocently passed it to me, and still doesn't even understand what herpes is.
And, of course, there are SO many people who pass it along through innocent kissing. How many times have you seen parents kiss a newborn on the face and lips? All of the time! All of the time! They think nothing of it. The truth is, even when there isn't an outbreak, the virus can spread. So, they might have not even experienced an outbreak recently but still passed it along--and it may have SEEMED like you were born with it if you contracted it very early--but, chances are, you probably weren't born with it. I say this because if it's passed on through the delivery process then the baby is usually born blind or has sores on the face/eyes/nose, too.
Yes. Yes. Yes. It's herpes.
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l am having the sympoms of a pregnent person but l am a virgin.we only kiss and finger fuck with my boyfriend. (link)
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If there is no semen getting to your vagina then it would be a miracle from God.
If your boyfriend has sperm on his fingers and then "finger fucks" you then sure, it's possible.
If you and your boyfriend are actually hygienic and wash your hands like you're suppose to before putting them in a vagina then there's nothing to worry about.
And...I'm sorry but...finger-fuck? Are you serious? That sounds so disgusting. Just say "he fingers" me or something. Finger fuck sounds something a whacked out prostitute would use, "Hey, baby, wanna finger fuck me? $10 tonight, tomorrow, and next week only!"
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how do you get to a girls g-spot (link)
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A woman's g-spot is 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina, towards the "front" or the stomach. You can reach this with your penis or your fingers. It's more of an "area" rather than a specific "thing" (like a clitoris).
It doesn't really differ from woman to woman. It's just a spot like the place a man's penis is. The size can vary. The sensation may vary. But it's there.
And, for note, I'd wager that most women have no idea where their own g-spot is. Asking her might not help in the search.
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