about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

can sex cause a miscarriage ?

In general the answer to this question is no. Your doctor will tell you when it is time to stop having sexual relations prior to giving birth. The reasons for doing so is because the baby has dropped down into the birth canal and not because it could cause a miscarriage.


If you are concerned you might want to discuss this with your OB/GYN to find out what is the best positions for sex. Which positions would be the most comfortable for you and the safest for your unborn child. Don't be embarrassed to discuss this with the doctor. I can assure you that you are not the first pregnant women to ask these questions and you will not be the last to ask them.

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Most people can spot add or adhd easily but the difference with me is that I'm gifted. I attend a school just gifted students. I have read about adhd in gifted students and I have some of the symptoms. My grades have gone down...a lot. I used to be a straight A student now I have D's C's and maybe a B. One of the symptoms of it is that these adhd gifted students start to go down hill in around 7th grade and thats where I am now. I really want to know why because I want good grades! Desperatly! I had a test yesterday and I studied for 2 hours but I got a 57 on it! Whenever I bring up adhd with my parents they start to yell at me (no joke) and they go on FOREVER! My brother who is not gifted had adhd and they won't even consider it. Please help, thx.:)

We are not doctors and we cannot make diagnoses over the web even if we were. The information you have provided does not contain enough information about you to even consider whether ADHD is something you should be concerned about.


What I will say is that if a sibling was diagnosed as having ADHD by a doctor theer is a chance you could suffer from it. If your parents are refusing to discuss this with you you could discuss it with your guidance counselor in school.


Judging by grades alone does not provide a clear picture as to a diagnoses of ADHD. Being in the 7th grade puts you in the middle year of middle school in the public school system. This is a transitional year from Elementary school to High School. The work gets harder and more is expected of you. This does not mean you suffer from ADHD just because you are having trouble maintaining your grades.


The stress of your concern though needs to be addressed, not screamed at. You need to know if you are suffering from ADHD or using it as an excuse for poor grades. No offense intended, just a factoid that is needed.


My advice as I said is if your parents won't discuss this with you. Talk to the guidance department at school.

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I have been best friends with this guy for three years. He's my rock, he gets me through everything. We text everyday and hangout every weekend. I have no romantic feelings for him, I think. All I know is I wanna hook up with him sooooooo bad. He's expressed how he doesn't want another relationship for the rest of highschool but that he'd really like a f*ck buddy. I wanna volunteer! Haha but how do I do this without making things AWKARD? I really don't think it'll ruin friendship. We've both admitted were extremely attracted to each other. And I really just want a no strings attached kinda thing. Help?? (I'm sixteen, girl. He's 18, boy).

There are a number of things wrong with what you are thinking.


First: From a legal standpoint you could get him in a world of trouble by having sex with you. Depending on the laws in your state you may be below the age of consent. That means even if you have consensual sex with him. By law you are unable to give consent so he can be charged with statutory rape. The only difference between Rape and statutory rape is a legal definition of consent by a minor. Minors cannot consent to sex. Some jealous friend or do good-er reports you two and he goes to jail.


Second: Sometimes friendships are meant to be just that. When friendships go beyond to what you are calling f*ck buddies' the intimacy of the relationship interferes with the friendship. Once you take that step their is no turning back. You have been there. You have had the intercourse and that cannot be erased. For whatever reasons your relationship is forever changed.


You say this boy is your rock, your confidant, your hang buddy. All that changes when you bring sex into the relationship. It has to for it is too intimate regardless of how free and easy you want it to be. The raw facts of sex are being naked with one another and one penetrating the other. It does not get any more intimate then that. When intimacy is involved relationships change.

It is possible to remain friends. It is also possible that one partner wants a deeper relationship after being intimate and the other doesn't see it that way. Then the friendship does not survive.


My advice is to think twice before offering to be his f*ck buddy, then rethink you decision again.

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I usually perceive this offensive odor when i have sex and I went for a medical examination where the result indicated a profuse growth of Escherichia coli. The recommendation I got was to buy Levofloxacin tablets which I have completed its dosage but my boyfriend still complains of the odor every time we have sex. Please i need a lasting cure of this infection. This infection refuses to be totally cured.

Levofloxacin is a very strong antibiotic used for certain types of bacterial infections. It is possible it was not the medication for your strain of infection. It happens on occasion or your strain of infection is resistant to this medication, that happens as well.


You need to go back to the doctor and be examined again. Talk to the doctor about having a culture done to find out exactly what strain of bacteria is infecting you.


In general a culture is nothing more than a swabbing of the infected area that is then rubbed on a petri dish and incubated from 24 to 72 hours. Then a lab technician identifies the strain of bacteria and informs the doctor who can then prescribe an antibiotic known to kill off that strain. Some times the lab will recommend that information to the doctor as well.

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what is sex?

IF YOU ARE ASKING THIS QUESTION YOU ARE PROBABLY TO YOUNG TO BE ON THIS SITE TO START WITH.


This question is best answered by your parents when they feel you are old enough and mature enough to understand the answer.

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19/F; This is my first year in college and I am assigned a research paper 6-8 pages long in APA format about Childhood. I can pick any topic within childhood, so I picked Toddlers. I figured it would be something with a lot of information about; I was wrong. I've look in books, internet, and even articles. I can't find anything.


Can you guys help me with a website that I might have overlooked, or maybe a topic within childhood that would have more information and interesting?

I'm not going to copy and paste; I just need some ideas, and facts; so I can use a work sited page.


Thank you so so so so much!

Try switching the words a bit. I would look under topics in the category of "EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT", OR EARLY CHILDHOOD LEARNING. These areas generally would include the toddler years up through ages I would guess to be around ages 5 or a bit older.

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Ever since I was around 11 years of age, I've been masturbating (I'm a female!) with bathwater and etc. Yet when I hit around 16 to my current age it almost seems insatiable. I probably masturbate at least two to three times a day...

Is there a way to cure this or get over it? Make the urges stop coming?

I'm a virgin as well if that helps.

As someone old enough to be your grandparent I will tell you what I told my children. It may not be what your parents told you.


First: There is nothing wrong with masturbation as long as it does not become an all encompassing activity. Meaning you would rather be home Masturbating then being out with friends doing whatever 16 year old do these days.


Second: Masturbation is a safe and pleasant way to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the hormones raging through you from puberty. You won't get pregnant and it is most unlikely to get an STD from fingering yourself.


Third: Masturbating two to three times a day for someone your age I believe is very normal. I would not worry about it.


Fourth and final: All the old wives tales as they are called that parent tell their children about masturbation are not true.


I don't know why parents tell these to their children, especially when masturbation is part of foreplay. In foreplay handjobs and fingering are given to one another to excite their partners. This is called mutual masturbation. If it is okay and normal to do so in sexual relations why would it be wrong to do so as self gratification.


My advice is to relax and enjoy the comfort and satisfaction you are receiving. Just make sure you have privacy and cannot be disturbed when masturbation.


I would rather have my children, and told them so, masturbate then become pregnant or get someone pregnant as they sought to calm their sexual urges.

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Side effects of propindol tablets

From the Manufactures Website


Propranolol, marketed in the United States under the trade names Inderal and Inderal LA, is a medication used to treat high blood pressure, chest pain and abnormal heart rhythms. In addition, it is used in the treatment and prevention of heart attack. Propranolol is also beneficial in the prevention of migraine headache. It is available by prescription in tablets, extended-release capsules, oral solution and injection.

Read more: Side Effects of Propanol | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5513062_side-effects-propanol.html#ixzz1kUGLstVQ


Side Effects



The most common effect of propranolol is fatigue. Other mild central nervous system effects include headache, dizziness and insomnia. Patients experiencing more serious symptoms such as fever, confusion, vivid dreams, fainting or hallucinations should promptly notify their physician.

Cardiac effects are common and include a lower than desired heart rate, lower than desired blood pressure, heart failure, heart block, abnormal heart beat and chest pain. Patients with these symptoms should also notify their physician.

Shortness of breath may occur, as there are also β-receptors in the lung. Patients with chronic respiratory illness, such as asthma, emphysema or COPD should not use propranolol as it may worsen respiratory function or counteract certain respiratory medications. Any patients experiencing breathing difficulty or sore throat during propranolol use should contact their doctor.

Rare but serious skin effects, such as rash, skin peeling or blistering may occur and require immediate medical attention.

Less serious side effects include sexual dysfunction, nausea, vomiting, constipation and stomach cramps.



Read more: Side Effects of Propanol | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5513062_side-effects-propanol.html#ixzz1kUGpysyG

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hello,

I would like to know what subjects you tutor as I too need extra help at school.

Thanks

This is not the place to find a tutor. In fact I would advise against looking for a tutor to work with you online unless you live in some remote area of the country. It is impractical to do so as tutoring by nature is a face to face, one on one activity.


If you need a tutor the best way to find one is through your school. In high school you should meet with your guidance counselor. Some of your teachers may also be willing to offer after school tutoring if you ask for it. If you're in College you should go to you need to go to the student resource center to find a tutor.

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My husband and I just got married in October and he looked really young he said he was 22 but I looked on his profile and it said he was 42. I'm 19 so he's old enough to be my dad almost. He's been married before and he has 4 kids but his wife and kids left him and never came back to him. I know he's too old for me but I love him and I don't wanna leave him even if he lied to me. I asked him if his profile was right he said yes. Since he lied to me what do I do about it ? Should I keep him or devorce him ? But I hate to leave him he's so sweet and caring.

First: Any marriage founded on a lie is a marriage with quicksand as a foundation. It is bound to fail in the future. This is not an if, it is a when.


Second: My feelings are that this man is looking or looked for someone to marry that he could have control over. Having had his first wife leave him and take his children with her. Not knowing your meaning of;"never came back to him. Does this mean he has not ever seen his children again? My feeling is he is determined not to let this happen again.


By marrying someone as young as you he can mold and shape you into the wife he desires and can control. He is more mature and more worldly than you are. The fact that he is old enough to be your father and you now acknowledge that fact insulates that feeling for me. He will for ever be a father figure for you and to you. Here again that control issue is forefront in my mind.


Neither I nor anyone else make a decision for you we can only offer advise. It is my feeling that this marriage is one as I said that is doomed to fail. When it does fail will you be strong enough to leave? Will you be hurt physically before you find away to leave?


My advice is to talk to your parents and tell them what you have told us. As my advice is to leave now while you can, while your parents and family are able to support you in leaving.


He has already lied to you on one big issue that you know of. How many more lies are out their that you don't know of? How many more lies will he tell you in the future.


You love him now, that love will I'm very sure soon turn to despair and hurt. Get out now while you have a support system and are strong enough to do so.

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Last night I guess i was really tired, so i forgot to take out my tampon and I fell asleep with it in me. I put it in at 9 p.m. and woke up at 6:45 a.m. I had no idea I had a tampon in me (silly right) and then i put another one in while that was still in there. I went to school and at 12:00 I looked at the clock and realized I should change my tampon. I went to the lady's room and took out my tampon to find it to be not very bloody at all. I then found ANOTHER string in there. In my head i thought oh no... as I pulled out a really bloody tampon. I remembered applying it at 9 p.m. the night before but do not remember taking it out! So that tampon has been in m uterus for 15 hours.... I feel fine right now (7 hours later after removing the two tampons) but I am nervous that my anxiety will make me think i have tss and give ma the symptoms/: my mom refuses to bring me to the dr's because she says its expensive and she claims I will be fiiiiine. i know tss is rare, but i'm prone to things such as yeast infections, uti's etc.. could that make me prone to tss??

I think your fine. If TSS where to happen you would all ready be seeing some of the signs.


When TSS first appeared it was thought to be the Tampon itself causing the problem, Later on it was found that young women were leaving the Tampon in for as long a 24 hours if there was no leakage and doing so for the entire time of there period. With the advent of super absorbent Tampons many young women were able to leave a tampon in place from the time they left the house in the morning until they returned home late in the evening.


Doing this day after day for the entire length of a period was the cause of TSS, not the Tampon itself. Forgetting to change your tampon one time is not going to cause TSS.

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why does fingering hurt so bad to me?

If by feeling bad you mean that you feel you did something wrong then you probably were not ready to allow this to happen. That you felt pressured into allowing this to happen to you. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. This is you telling yourself that "Hey I'm not ready for this, I can't handle having someone doing this to me." It is a defense mechanism that we all have telling you that you took a wrong turn and not to allow this to happen again. At least not until you feel better about allowing this to happen or feel ready to do so.


Inherently you did nothing wrong. You can be fingered without getting naked. You cannot get pregnant from being fingered. What can happen is that being finger can feel so good that it leads to full intercourse which you had not planned on and are not prepared for. Then you can get pregnant. Just so you know contrary to what others may tell you , you can get pregnant when having sex for the first time.


Now if you mean by feeling bad something hurts. Then there are a few things that could have happened. He could have scratched you or torn your Hyman. If you are in pain and it does not go away in a day or two you should see a doctor.


If you are over 14 you can see a doctor in total confidence and without mom in the exam room with you. This is by Federal Law so that teenagers can have medical attention for their sexual health without worry. Just tell the doctor or nurse you wish to see the doctor in private and they will take care of having mom wait in the waiting room.


Neither the doctor or anyone in his employ can tell mom or anyone else what went on in the exam room, what you were examined or treated for, without your written permission. Mom can make all the demands and threats she may want. By law she cannot be told.


The Law is called HIPPA and is very specific on what medical privacy teenagers have when it comes to certain health matters.

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I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and i would say we are perfect and plan on marriage after we are done with college. I love him to death but he is breaking me and it isnt his fault at all. He has terminal brain cancer and won't be cured. Only his parents and I know, not even his brothers because he just doesnt want anyone to treat him any different. I cant talk to anyone and wont, but its like im cutting myself off from reality because i can't handle the fact. Yesterday i guess you could say he died, but was brought right back. He fell unconcious with no pulse/heartbeat. What can I do about any of this, its like iv gone mute i dont even really talk around people anymore. What do i do about him too, my life is done if he dies. Any help on anything is highly appreciated, but no i will not go to a therapist. 18/f

Wow, In all the years I've been doing this I thought I had seen all the tough questions. Yours though goes right to the top of the list.


First let me say I understand the pain your in an I an very proud of you for having the love and honesty to stick with him through this ordeal. Especially when knowing what the outcome is going to be. You should be very proud of yourself for there are few women your age or older who would stick by him like you are.


One suggestion I have that you can do that may bring him and you some comfort: is that you can still marry. Be it for an hour, a day or a however long it may be you will still be legally married. Whatever rules as to waiting periods for a license can and have been waved in circumstances like this you just need to ask that they be waived and why. Getting married may bring joy and comfort to him as well as yourself before he passes.


As for you both now and for after he is gone. Their is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. Seeing a therapist does not mean you are mentally ill. We all grieve in different ways. You have already started the process as you know the outcome you face. Seeing a therapist lets you talk it all out to someone that is independent of you and who will keep your confidence.


Grief counseling, which is what you need, helps you expel what your feeling without worry. You can say anything you want in any words you chose. You will not offend the counselor and you will feel better by getting your feeling out rather than holding them in.


Loosing someone close is never easy. Eventually we move on with are lives. A therapist can help you make the right choices as to when you are ready to move on. Many times we move on before we are ready and we make some wrong choices when we do so. Our defense systems are down and we get hurt. We seek comfort and mistake something else for that comfort.


This is the job of a qualified grief counselor to help you grief and to help you recover and make the right choices while recovering. We need to grieve in order to recover. We need to get our feeling out so they don't fester and poison us. This is what a grief therapist can do for you by being their to listen and to allow you to have someone to shout at, cry to and seek comfort from.


You are not mentally ill by seeking help from a grief therapist, in fact you are well balanced by doing so.

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So me and my boyfriend have had a rocky couple of weeks and valentine's day is coming up and I wanna surprise him and let him know I really care. We've been together for about 8 months and we're pretty serious. What do guys really want for valentine's day? like i really have no idea. I wanna try to make this special. Also this is his first valentine's day with a girlfriend and he's actually pretty excited about it hah.

we're both 19 btw. thanks!

I'm a bit of a romantic I like to do things that allow me to have special time with my girl. Not knowing where you live I can't make any specific suggestions so I will tell some of the things I have done or would do if I lived in different areas of the country.


I grew up just outside of NYC so a Romantic evening would be dinner someplace nice then a ride in a handsome cab through Central Park. These a horse drawn carriages of different types where this time of year you would cuddle under a nice warm blanket while the horseman takes you on a night tour of Central Park.


In San Fransisco it would be dinner at Fisherman's Wharf and Bay Cruise. In Seattle Dinner at the Space Needle with a table for two at the window. In Huston a nice Dinner and a boat ride through the city market canals.

Of course this all depends on how much money you have to spend. If money is an issue then a homemade dinner and cuddle time on the couch is always good. Anything my girl, who happens to be my wife now, did for me to show me I was her special guy was always appreciated. Cuddle time is always appreciated as you can never get enough cuddle time.

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a cupple weeks ago i had sex with a 15 year old, now hes telling everyone that i was good so other people have came up to me and asked to sleep with them im almost 14 my older sister said that i should becuz im atlesst good at it but i dont want to be known as a slut. i mean i kind of want to but i know that sex is only for that one guy but how do i find him in this mess?

I tell this to every girl your age that writes to us who is thinking of having sex for whatever reason. Not only are you to young but here is what the boy is thinking.


The boy will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you to have sex with him. Teenage boys do not know the difference between lust and love. They have been hard wired since puberty to find a willing girl to have sex with them as they need to release the pent up sexual desire brought on by the hormones that puberty bring.


Teenage boys cannot keep a secret, as you have found out. They have to tell someone they had sex. They generally tell their best friend and ask that friend to keep the secret. He tells another best friend and before you know it you have a reputation around school as being easy.


You should not being having sex at your age in the first place. You may be able to have the physical act of sex but from a maturity stand point you and your body need to gain more maturity before you have adult sexual relations.


For a boy at this age sex is a mechanical act. To be gross a knot hole in a piece of wood will do in a pinch; anything to get off. There is no love involved. If the girl gets to clingy afterwards she will find herself alone as he will go hunting for someone else.


For the girl sex has to have some feeling of love for sex is more intimate for her. When she finds out that love was not there she feels used, as you may be feeling now.


You are not a slut. You made a bad choice, one you can fix just buy telling whoever new comes on to you that dating is fine but there will be no sex. See how long he hangs around once he finds there is no sex to be had. Also try dating boys your own age. That way you can both explore and mature together. Boys 2 years older than are more mature than you, are going to be looking harder for sex and take advantage of you more than a boy your own age.

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I'm M/16. For the last two years I've been lonely & depressed. I've been watching porn almost everyday after school for a long time. I read some articles on porn addiction. They basically described my life & mind. Selfish, always lusting, etc. I truly believe that if I can get rid of this addiction, I'll feel a lot better. But its been so impossible for me to quit during the past two years. I want to so badly but I basically get possessed at night. I'm not the same person anymore either. I used to do well in school but not anymore. I barely have any girls to talk to, I'm always nervous and tense around them, and I just recently ruined it with a girl I liked. Is there still hope for me? I'm hoping that if I stop ASAP, I'll slowly heal, but I'm not too optimistic anymore. I'm so dumb. I've been trying to fix this depression, and look for causes when all along the big problem is right in my face, right in my head. But I cannot get it out, it's killing me. I also feel like I'm too deep in to heal.

Your porn addition and depression are somewhat mutually exclusive. Your depression may be the reason for your porn addiction. Though your porn addiction has most likely not caused your depression.


Depression does strange things to us, I know as I suffered from depression for many years. Today teenage depression is what parent use to call going through a phase, something we as parents felt children would grow out of. We know better today and have ways to help the teenagers who are suffering from teenage depression


You say your grades have suffered for the past two years. I'm sure your parents have noticed. You and your parents have also probably had discussions about this possibly leading to some type of discipline for poor grades as your answer to their questions were unsatisfactory. This I am positive has only depended your depression.


How do you tell your parents you are suffering from depression and need help? This could be a problem since they are not seeing it. Your 16 capable of seeing a doctor on your own without parental supervision or permission. This isyour right under a Federal Law known as the HIPPA Act.


This being so I suggest you go see you family doctor and tell the doctor how your feeling. Ask to be screened for depression. You may if you wish tell the doctor about your porn addiction and any mastication. Anything you tell the doctor is strictly confidential and cannot be told to your parents without your written permission.


Should the doctor find you are suffering from depression and in need of treatment. Then you and your doctor can have a discussion on just what you want the doctor to inform your parents of. That is all the doctor will be allowed to tell your parents. Which would be something to the effect that you were examined and screened for depression. The results of which are that you are suffering from depression and in need of further treatment and what that recommended treatment is.


That is all the doctor needs to tell your parents. They do not need to know the why of the problem unless you want to tell them. Part of the treatment will be talk therapy with a psychologist. In therapy anything you say is again confidential and again cannot be told to anyone without written permission from you. You need to be totally open about whatever it is that is bothering you and answering the therapists questions if you are going to get at the cause of your depression .


Once you find out the true cause of your depression the porn addiction can be overcome. If for some reason you don't wish to see your own doctor; every city and county offers free mental health screening and treatment. You can go to one of their clinics for help.

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If my hubby is sad or scared or upset he wants me to hold him and calls me mommy. We've been married for almost 13 years and we don't have any children. Is it normal for him to act like this ? He's 35 years old almost 36.

Asking you to comfort him during those times you described is normal. We all need comforting or mothering during these times. Calling you mommy during these times is a little strange but might be his way of dealing with whatever is bothering him, he may not even be aware he is doing so. If this is the only time he calls you that I wouldn't be to concerned.


I know people who have gotten in the habit of calling each other mommy and daddy because of the children and just never stopped. Some people would consider this strange as well, especially as these people are now in their 50's and 60's.



If he is only calling you mommy during times of great stress when you are comforting him as a mother would do. If he is feeling safe as one would feel in a mothers arms. Then I don't see this as some type of fetish. We all grow up running to our mother when we are hurt or scared and mom takes us in her arms to comfort us. In a way you could say your husband is complimenting you by calling you mommy during this time as you are making him feel as safe as he did in his mothers arms.


Of course if this bothers you then there is a problem. One which you need to speak to him about. You could start off with saying: "you know when I'm comforting you and holding you; are you aware that you call me mommy?" Then depending on his answer you can go from there. If he say he is then you can ask why? If he says he is not aware then you may want to talk about it and based on your discussion decide if something may be deep seated enough that talking to a therapist may be in order.

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im 17 and my bf is 19 we have been together since i was 15 and we really want a baby right now, but i cant seem to get pregnant. idk what i should do, i know we can do it, we are both cery responsible and he has a full time job and im finishing school. but i cant get pregnant, idk if maybe my body is just doing the right thing and not letting me get pregnent but i really want a baby. more than anything in the world i want a lil baby girl (or boy) idc what i get.

I have to agree with flare; you are way to young to be having a child. Sure I know of girls that are married and have children when they are not much older than you. In some cultures this is what is expected of women. Not in our culture. Not being able to conceive a child may be your body's way of telling you that you are not mature enough or not yet ready for a child.


There could be a physical reason you cannot conceive. One that would require a doctors intervention. Something I don't think at your age a doctor would be willing to do just yet; as you are still experiencing puberty. Puberty can last until your early 20''s. If you do have a physical problem you may just have to wait until then for medical intervention.


To my mind this would be a good thing for right now to bring a child into this world and for neither parent not have a college education is not a good idea. In today's world employers have the pick of the litter so to speak when hiring. They want the best they can find and regardless of the job being offered if the can get a college educated candidate; that is who they are going to pick. Even an AA Degree from a community college is better than no degree.


You may have strong maternal instincts but I am advising you to suppress them for now while you prepare properly to bring a child into this world. Children bring with them a whole volume of needs; all of which put a strain on the family finances. While I do not think any of us are truly financially prepared to bring our children into this world some of us are better prepared than others. Those of us that are have a much easier time raising their children to be proper and respectful law abiding adults.

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So I have a disease.. Bulimia Nervosa... i've had it for around 4 or 5 years.. i'm not super skinny because i'm trying to get better.. but its soo hard to do this on my own.. my boyfriend tries to help but he doesn't know what i'm going through.. same with my friends.. they think i can just stop and everything will be ok.. i can't everytime i do i just start right back and keep doing it. My parents cant afford anything major so i haven't told them.. my boyfriend and best friend are the only people that know.. i don't know what to do.. its like one step forward and three steps back.. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME FIGHT THIS!

You have an eating disorder; you have done the hardest part of overcoming this disorder and getting better by acknowledging that you have this disorder. Where you have made a misjudgement is deciding for your parents what they can and cannot afford.


If your parents are working and either one of them has health insurance that you are covered under than they can afford to have you treated by a doctor. As long as you are under 21 and living at home or at school the insurance will cover the doctor. If your parents do not have health insurance through their employer there is still help for you.


Bulimia Nervosa is considered a life threatening illness. As such you can go to any hospital emergency room to seek treatment. They must treat you regardless of you or your parents ability to pay. As a minor there are Federal and state programs to cover the cost of children's medical services for the uninsured.


This is the type of illness that you cannot conquer alone. You need the help of qualified doctors. As well as the support of your parents and your friends. The damage you are doing to yourself may still be correctable as far as what the acids you bring up when vomiting do to your esophagus. What you may not be aware of and what is life threatening is every time you vomit you are also upsetting the electrolyte balance in your body.


The electrolyte balance is what, in simple terms, keeps your body functioning properly. They are the basis of the electrical system of your body. When these get out of balance your vital organs can not function properly. You suffer from kidney problems up to and including kidney failure. Liver and heart problems including heart attack and heart failure. How much these organs are effected depends on how badly the electrolytes get out of balance.


What is important for you to understand is,that organ damage and organ failure is a real possibility if you continue to not seek treatment for your illness. Medical treatment and support is the only way you can overcome this illness.


As a parent I can say to you; never count your parents ability to do something. Especially when it comes to the health and well being of our children. You have a serious illness; one that is life threatening. If you were my daughter I would move heaven and earth to find away to get you the medical treatment you need. I'm sure your parents are no different than I am.


Sure we may complain about not having money to do things we want to do. We may complain how bills are stacking up. But that is all they are complaints because we have always wanted to be able to have better. The economy right now is working against us and no matter how hard we work we don't seem to be able to get a head. It's frustrating. But if mom, dad or one of the children get sick we find the money needed to get them the medicine they need and to the doctors they need to see.


So talk to your parents to night. Tell them that is going on with you. Yes they will get up set. First because you have kept this a secrete for so long. Second at them selves for not seeing this. Then they will calm down and do what is needed to get you well.

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my fiance and I are having terrible problems with his 9 yr old son. He has told us more then a dozen times that he is completely alright with us being together, getting married, etc. But we are now experiencing problems.....he (the son) tells her mother (who is a total psycho stalker{we have a restraining order against her}) everything that occurs in our home, makes up lies about me, my children and his father. He constantly lies to us, disrespects us and ignores every word we say. He is concerned only with getting what he can from us. I will not leave my home for him, stiffle my children from speaking with his father or end my relationship. Someone please help us. We are at the end of the line with this child. Also his mother does not make him listen, respect, behave, do homework, care for himself (personal hygene wise) or feed him well {fast food every nite she can't cook}. We cannot at this time take him from his home so that is not an answer.

I agree with Zane that counselling is the most likely answer to the problem. First one on one counseling for him so he has a confident he can confide in who will keep his confidence. Then family counseling with you and his father.


I see a lot of maybes' here that he may not know how to approach you on. It is entirely possible that when he is with you he likes what he sees and is not getting at home. My meaning is he would prefer to live with you and his dad rather that with his mother. Like I said maybe.


Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. He may know what he wants and needs. If your home offers him more security, more love, more of anything he is missing. This maybe the only way he feels he can get it without angering his mom or showing favoritism. I'm sure he loves both his parents and feels he is somehow caught in the middle.


Somehow you and your fiance need to find civility between the two of you and his ex; especially around the boy as this is probably also effecting him. This is a major problem in all divorces. The exes need to be civil to each other for the sake of the children, in the presence of the children and in speaking to the children about the ex. Divorce is more complicated then simple when children are involved as they feel they need to take sides when the parents argue in front of them or vie for their affection.


This young man is in trouble. Trying to place blame is not the answer. The answer for all three adults is to get this young man someone he can confide in who can help him come to terms with what is bothering him. In the child's mind the adults are the problem here. They rocked his world. Now the adults have to do right by him. Punishment is not the answer, as his actions are that of crying out for help. Get him that help and then listen to the counselors as to what he needs to stabilize his world.


Every child is different. Don't judge him by yours.

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