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Is it normal for my husband to do this ?
If my hubby is sad or scared or upset he wants me to hold him and calls me mommy. We've been married for almost 13 years and we don't have any children. Is it normal for him to act like this ? He's 35 years old almost 36.
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Asking you to comfort him during those times you described is normal. We all need comforting or mothering during these times. Calling you mommy during these times is a little strange but might be his way of dealing with whatever is bothering him, he may not even be aware he is doing so. If this is the only time he calls you that I wouldn't be to concerned.
I know people who have gotten in the habit of calling each other mommy and daddy because of the children and just never stopped. Some people would consider this strange as well, especially as these people are now in their 50's and 60's.
If he is only calling you mommy during times of great stress when you are comforting him as a mother would do. If he is feeling safe as one would feel in a mothers arms. Then I don't see this as some type of fetish. We all grow up running to our mother when we are hurt or scared and mom takes us in her arms to comfort us. In a way you could say your husband is complimenting you by calling you mommy during this time as you are making him feel as safe as he did in his mothers arms.
Of course if this bothers you then there is a problem. One which you need to speak to him about. You could start off with saying: "you know when I'm comforting you and holding you; are you aware that you call me mommy?" Then depending on his answer you can go from there. If he say he is then you can ask why? If he says he is not aware then you may want to talk about it and based on your discussion decide if something may be deep seated enough that talking to a therapist may be in order.
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Have you actually asked him why he calls you it? There could be some psychological issue here, but I don't want to start throwing around a diagnosis when infact, it could be nothing at all, like a silly joke for instance, or the possibility of him wanting children?
The fact he wants you to hold him sounds normal - many people like to be comforted in a time of need, but without knowing you 2 personally, the "mommy" issue will have to be addressed by a professional.
If he has trouble talking about it with you, see if he's willing to talk to a therapist.
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This doesn't seem normal. There's nothing wrong with seeking comfort from a loved one when one is scared or upset, but obviously the 'mommy' thing is odd.
The most obvious reason for this behaviour is that he seeks the comfort from you, which a mother provides. Was his mother absent during the time he was growing up? Any other mother issues you can think of?
I think you should talk to him about this. It may seem uncomfortable, but if you can't talk to your partner, who can you talk to? Stay calm and reasonable, as he may be embarrassed. Just speak to him about it, ask him if there's any particular reason he does it. Maybe he doesn't even realise he does it?
But the next step would be to seek professional help. I doubt it's anything major, but someone like a therapist can definitely help to put his mind at ease, and divulge in his inner psyche to help him, to help himself.
Hope I helped :)
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