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im 17 and want a baby soo bad
im 17 and my bf is 19 we have been together since i was 15 and we really want a baby right now, but i cant seem to get pregnant. idk what i should do, i know we can do it, we are both cery responsible and he has a full time job and im finishing school. but i cant get pregnant, idk if maybe my body is just doing the right thing and not letting me get pregnent but i really want a baby. more than anything in the world i want a lil baby girl (or boy) idc what i get.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I know how you feel, trust me I do (my boyfriend and I basically have ants in our pants we want a little one so bad... Especially when I'm menstruating and my hormones are going crazy).
When I was your age (which was only a couple months ago!) I wanted one so bad. When I turned 18, I wanted one even more! I was legal! I could have one without my boyfriend getting in trouble!
So that's the first thing I feel compelled to say: wait until you're 18. If you have an infant, while under the legal age, your boyfriend may get in a lot of trouble depending where you live.
Another thing I think you should do, is have your own place (the two of you) and get your diploma. Finish your diploma before you have the kid, because you can always go to college but going back to high school isn't as easy (and for some it's really embarrassing). Have your own place, not only for the baby but for the both of you. You may love each other, but what if you have some issues living together. You should work those out before adding more stress into the situation. (i.e. the baby).
Estimate about how much a baby costs a year, you can do so with some research online (you can google such things, and factor in anything and everything). Does your boyfriend make enough a year? for clothes, food, furniture, doctor visits, and so on? Or would the two of you not have enough to go on (pay for the bills; electric, water, rent. pay for clothes, food for you and him, or anything else that there may be to get). The money is the only thing stopping my boyfriend and I, the rest is pretty much worked out.
Are the two of you able to miss a lot of sleep? waking up every couple hours to take care of a screaming infant?
You said you've been trying to get pregnant, but you can't. I have a friend who got pregnant, but had a miscarriage. She did everything right, took care of it and everything. The only problem was her body wasn't ready, even though she was. So the fact that you can't get pregnant may be that your body isn't ready to have a child for nine months yet, and so you need to wait. As much as it sucks, you have to.
But on the bright side, when you're 100% ready and you still can't get pregnant: you can talk to your doctor about fertility medications. Then you will be prescribed some pills (most likely) that you can take that will boost your chances of pregnancy significantly.
Until then, you can talk to me about what it's like to take care of kids. I have two little sisters that I take care of 24/7. I don't pay for them, they are paid for, but I cook for them and I have raised them since they were born. I can't tell you much about pregnancy itself, just what I've learned not felt, but I am able to tell you what I go through every day taking care of them. They are now 6 years old and 7 years old.
Emicharlie@gmail.com is my E-mail if you have questions or anything about what it's like. And eventually, I can tell you any tips and tricks I've learned about getting pregnant. Like the dates you should have intercourse to increase the likelyhood, and such like that.
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Boy this is a tough one to answer, take it from me... I have 2 kids, and no matter how ready you may think you are...its really tough. Its expensive, fulltime job or not. and being a parent comes with maturity, and establishment. You need to have a nursery setup. clothes, bottles, health insurance... the list is endless, I would personally wait a little while longer, save up some money so your not scrimping to get the next pack of diapers. Having a child is a beautiful thing, i know, but make sure its at the right time of your life. Goodluck
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I have to agree with flare; you are way to young to be having a child. Sure I know of girls that are married and have children when they are not much older than you. In some cultures this is what is expected of women. Not in our culture. Not being able to conceive a child may be your body's way of telling you that you are not mature enough or not yet ready for a child.
There could be a physical reason you cannot conceive. One that would require a doctors intervention. Something I don't think at your age a doctor would be willing to do just yet; as you are still experiencing puberty. Puberty can last until your early 20''s. If you do have a physical problem you may just have to wait until then for medical intervention.
To my mind this would be a good thing for right now to bring a child into this world and for neither parent not have a college education is not a good idea. In today's world employers have the pick of the litter so to speak when hiring. They want the best they can find and regardless of the job being offered if the can get a college educated candidate; that is who they are going to pick. Even an AA Degree from a community college is better than no degree.
You may have strong maternal instincts but I am advising you to suppress them for now while you prepare properly to bring a child into this world. Children bring with them a whole volume of needs; all of which put a strain on the family finances. While I do not think any of us are truly financially prepared to bring our children into this world some of us are better prepared than others. Those of us that are have a much easier time raising their children to be proper and respectful law abiding adults.
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Why do you want to get pregnant? Children are not supposed to have children. It takes a mature adult to do so. If you cannot see that being a 17 year old mother is irresponsible, then you are not mature enough to have a child. You're finishing school, but how about college?
Is your boyfriends job stable? Does it pay well? It will have to be very stable, and very well paying to raise a child properly. Do you have your own place? If not, then it obviously isn't time. If you do (which I doubt), are there good schools in the area? Will you be able to afford your extra expenses as well as the rent? Insurance? Furniture? etc?
And how strong is your relationship? You may think its fine (as you have been together for 2 years), but that's not enough time! People usually move in together to test the water, then get married after a few years, then decide to have a child when they are stable enough to. To do so before is extremely, EXTREMELY, unfair to the child.
I know this isn't the advice you were seeking, but its the only advice I can give you. Stay in school, get a proper job, mature, think about the responsibility, stop being selfish, and then think about it again when you have the financial and emotional means to do so.
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