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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Hey I just want to no um well I get like yellow and brownish stuff in my undies and I no it's discharge but I have it every day and it's turning brown and I'm really scared and embarrassed to tell my mum if she can get my any panty lines can you give me some ideas on how I will tell my mum I got discarge and I need panty liners
Adviceman gave you a wonderful answer. Yes dear, go talk to mom, she'll understand.
Coming from a woman, as to the two different colors, both are normal I can assure you. the yellowish one is your bodys normal cleaning system working, constantly self cleaning your vagina. (Its best to leave it up to nature and not use dueches as that will cause infections.)
When the discharge is brownish, it means that a flow of blood is soon to start but is being delayed a long time so the spotting is actually like older drying blood. This occurs when your first period hasn't come yet. It can show up between your periods if they are delayed due to illness or stress or something like that. So don't worry, theres nothing wrong with you. This is normal. So just go up and ask for panty liners and tell her you have some discharge and think your period will start soon.
i have asked the question on how to ban critcism and apparently i dont like Ninjaneers answer to Dragonflymagic if you get this in your advice colum can you report it and have it removed thank you .
Under the FAQ's for Advicenators is this question and answer
Advicenators Frequently Asked Questions
Can I delete my answers?
No. You can, however, edit your answers to your heart's content.
Deleting answers was suspended due to users deleting answers in order to artificially boost their ratings.
So based on the FAQ above, that means every advice giver on here is not able to delete their own or anyone elses answers. We can only edit them, and that rewriting like spelling errors or such after hitting send.
If you post a question on here, you have no control over who is going to see it and post a reply. The site says no one on here is a professional. So there is the likelihood of a range of answers from really helpful to not helpful at all or maybe even irritating. As an advicegiver, I have days where one person says I was wonderful, and helpful, a life saver and rates 5 while another posts a similar question anouther day and is not impressed and rates the same advice a 3 or 4. We know nothing about the people who are asking questions and their personality and how to speak in a way that will benefit you best and be easiest for you to understand. So that is also another issue that can occur, same answer from two columnists bu ut the choice of words from one is easier to get, or like than the words of the other. So if you don't like an answer, it doesnt reflect on you. Your rating of how helpful someone was, will reflect on them in their ratings. However ratings isn't enough for there to be a problem with the owners of Advicenators. There would have to be multiple complaints from several different people against one advice giver for posting bigotry or some other kind of discriminating or bullying type speech over and over. Such a person would then be banned. But not banned just because someone didn't like an answer or it wasn't useful.
Hope this helps give you a different perspective on this site.
My wife keeps the bedroom feeling like an icebox even when it's cold as you know what outside. We could have snow on the ground and she has to sleep with fans and a window cracked. The inside of our bedroom feel like being outside to me and I already have arthritis. On top of it all, I hurt and am always waking up feeling like crap. She is constantly sick but very hard headed.
Her not wanting to compromise to see that atleast eliminations can would help both of us. PLEASE HELP, I miss sleeping in my bed and just want to feel like myself again. Like right now fans are off, heat is on in the house but because they stay on all night, our bedroom is freezing and I'm stuck in a semi warm closet.
I like what adviceman had to tell you. I have the same problems with hot flashes, day or night. At least I don't need the room at freezing, I am just constantly pulling the covers up and then back down. It\s not so bad i have that to an extreme each night. Sometimes I move the covers without waking. I do sleep hard so if I've yanked the covers off then hubby will get cold. What we've done is often use two separate blankets for each of us, and his stays up when I am yanking mine down. And thats what made me think to suggest something like that for you, but not just separate blankets, make yours an electric blanket to keep you real toasty. In the days before central heating when a fireplace was the only heat, our ancestors went to bed wearing a night cap, since most our heat escapes through our head, if we keep it covered, we stay warmer.
I think if you allow her to use a fan and keep a window cracked a tiny bit but you wear a knit cap and use an electric blanket, then all should feel comfortable for you.
Good luck
Some time back, i asked you guys what to do about my sick and stupid fantasy of having sex with my aunt who is 31 years old and extremely beautiful.I was then 13 years old, i am now 14 years old and i still want to have sex with my aunt. I feel so dirty because she is my blood related aunt. I am scared to confront her because i am scared of the repercussions but i can not continue like this because every time i see her, i feel like raping her . Someone please help me!!!!!!!
Theres two obvious reasons why you can't act upon it, she's your relative, and you are not the age of legal consent to have sex. An adult female would be commiting rape against you according to the law even if you were willing.
So if you are asking how to handle seeing her, like for the holidays and such, all I can think of is
that if you start avoiding attending functions where she is, then eventually family will be asking for an explanation of your behavior. You may just have to tell your dad or if you don't have one, your mom as to what you are struggling with. I'll explain why in a sec.
Lets say you're now an adult.Throughout your life, even as an adult, you will come up against women where your body has a sexual attraction to them and you can not act upon it because its a teacher, a co-worker, your boss, the neighbor, etc. You are going to need to learn to exercise self control because some females are just plain going to be off limits. When you feel these feelings, do your best to continue on with normal actions and when you find yourself begin to fantasize sexually, stop yourself and change your thought line. Force yourself to visualize something about the person that would kill your sexual attraction for the female, You'll figure out what works for you. A couple suggestions is the female covered with terrible herpes sores, (it helps to look up photos on the web to see how badly this can look) or another scenerio to imagine is the clothes coming off only to see that the female is a trans-gender person who still has their penis.
Imagine your aunt has come to your house for Christmas. It's going to take some practice to get good at controlling your thoughts. In the meanwhile, if someone close like dad knows whats up, and you are failing at controlling your thoughts and need some distance, you may have to abruptly leave the group to go to your room or if at someones house, out on the porch for a while.
It may be helpful to have a family member who knows what you are working on so if everyone is worried about your behavior this person can reassure everyone its nothing bad, just something that you are working through as a teen and sometimes you're overwhelmed and need your space. And if any relatives offer to go talk to you to try to help, your dad or whoever can stop that from happening.
I know, embarrassing to enlist the help of a dad or mom but as long as they know you are trying to work on this, they will understand you needing to remove yourself from the group.
Good luck dear! And Happy Holidays
23/F
So I met this guy at the gym (he works there) back in July and we recently began talking more and hanging out. It was pretty obvious that the two of us had feelings towards one another. I am leaving the area this coming summer to move back with my parents (I'm in graduate school and it's cheaper). It's about 40 minutes away from where I am now. He came over last night and before he left he kind of ended it between us because he doesn't want to catch stronger feelings if I'm leaving soon.
It's 6 months away and I feel like he's throwing away something that could be great without even trying. He automatically is thinking we will have to break up when I leave because that's what happened with his ex-gf. He's fixating over his past relationships instead of letting go and moving on. I am going to talk to him this week sometime, but I really don't know what I can say that will change his mind.
I want to try things out. I feel like it's stupid to just give up so easily on this because we could be something great.
Only 40 minutes away?!! Heck thats nothing, no big deal. I traveled that far to go see my now 2nd husband.
Sounds like he is using anything as an excuse to not allow himself to be hurt again. A person like that can build a wall around their heart so that they can't get hurt again. Life is full of hurts, pains and disappointments and if it's not gonna come at him from a relationship, he's gonna get it elsewhere.
Only problem is, the wall built to protect oneself, not only doesn't allow another persons love in, but their love for you can't get out. I knew of a 50 yr old woman like that, married all that time to one man. He even had a counseling degree and tried to work with her to get her to take down those walls. She never did. They could never be really close cus that wall around her heart was always there, He tired of it and divorced a couple of years ago.
Yeah, you and I might see it as silly to give up on you so easily, but even in the case I mentioned where the love is strong enough for the damaged person to make a commitment to you, it will never be a good as it could possibly be if he keeps a wall up around his heart. And you deserve better than a live in companion who may also be your sex partner and shower you with all sort of gifts except for one...his love. Because he can't when its walled up to protect his heart.
Someone like that needs counseling and even then, who knows if that will really help the person conquer that fear. There is nothing you can do to convince him otherwise, thats how strong such a fear is. I am sorry to hear this dear. Don't pester him but keep tabs on him but texting, FB, phone calls every once in a while to see how he is doing. If by some miracle, his fear of being hurt has been dealt with then ask about getting back together. You might also try praying that his angels get a message through to him to let down the wall and not fear being hurt again. Other than that, I don't see a promising ending to this.
im getting sick and tired of mom always trying to put me in a suit and tie or tuxedo whatever they call it i mean maybe on occasions i can where but i just dont want her taking pictures of me in it fitting in is not or will it ever be my thing sticking out is better after all im nobody but me so how could i get her to stop that i dont want to wear a tuxedo especially if its about fitting in .
Not sure if your complaint is mom taking photos of you but demanding that you put on a suit like a business suit. Or if it is about her demanding that you attend black tie events where owning or renting a tux is a must, out of respect for the event itself. For some of the richer families, or their placing in society, it is more about keeping up an image for the public, where fitting the image is more important than being yourself.
In real life of the majority, even at weddings, usually its only the groom and groomsmen who are wearing tuxes, not even the male guests. they may wear dress slacks and a button down shirt or wear a business suit but not a tux. Since you are using the word, tux...I assume that a business suit isn't good enough for mom. If it was a publicity thing for the family name type thing, she wouldn't be the one taking all the photos, it would be professional photographers and reporters and journalists who follow your family around cus of who you are importance celebrity wise. I would ask mom for a compromise. If you own a tux, lets say you set the ground rules that you will agree to pose once a month for a photo in a tux, the rest of the time you will dress in your own personal style and she must respect that.
Good for you on wanting to be your own person, finding your own path and not fit in and become a carbon copy of everyone else. Always be true to yourself. If you are not, you will be unhappy and life will suck. You may have to make a few compromises to keep mom happy if this is so important to her. But the way it really should be is that a parent is more concerned with their child being happy than fitting an image in their mind of how things should be. You might let her know that you wish that her top wish for you would be that you are just happy, nothing else. And just tell her that dressing up so often and expected to do so out of duty to your placing in society is not making you happy. If she persists, then if you are a legal adult or when you become one, I would reassure her that you love her but you will dress as you wish. Being requested to Prove your love for a parent by doing as they wish, and not making your own decisions for life can become a deadly mistake to do. This is a controlling, manipulating tactic which if you decide to go along with it, You lose your own identity and can become depressed enough to give up on life.
Hopefully a good heart to heart talk with mom will set everything straight. If you have already had such talks and it hasn't worked, perhaps there is more light you can shed on your situation so we might have some more specific ideas for you to try.
Good luck.
I am married for around 8 yrs, but just after my marriage my wife has started creating issue with my family. We were a joint family and just because of her high Temper, she never looks where she is standing in the house or outside, when she is angry she will just burst out with very high volume. Also i recently came to know that she has been physical with 2 to 3 guys before we got married. It came to my notice that some one msg her and I read it. She told lies that she dont kneow, but she use to get the msgs mostly daily so when I focused her she confused that she dont know who is the guy msg but yes she has been physical with some guys and that to 1 night stand. My whole life is gone for toss. I cannot tell anyone about this nor can do anything becuase she is not raedy to leave me. I know she is not telling me the whole truth. She is still hiding many things. I dont have anyone with me so that I can share my feelings. I have started drinking and even I am spending more time in office. Please advice.
Its so easy to jump to conclusions based on what you did say but there is much left unsaid that I cannot give advice with asking questions and making some statements based on what you have shared. Problems with family arose only after marriage as you say so was there no sign or hint of this type of behavior from her before marriage?
If not, perhaps she was on her best behaviour, presenting a false front, not showing her real self. How long did you know her before marrying her? People wearing a mask to hide their real self must put lots of personal energy into it and can not do that long term so after a few months, once they are comfortable with another person, they will let the mask slip and you get glimpses of who they really are. I was married to such a person. I saw those warning glimpses into who he really was before marrying but was too naive and inexperienced to know what I was really looking at. Even a person with mental illness can put on an act for a while, not just the average person who chooses bad habits. I am guessing that either it was a short dating before marriage to her or you just were blind to it or lying to yourself.
Many of us are prone to be on our best behavior when dating and usually its not with an intent to hide anything bad, just make a good impression. If she began to fight and mistreat family so quickly, likely it is an issue that has always been a part of her life. Has she ever been seen by a mental health practioner? She may have some serious mental illness that she should be getting counseling if not also be on meds for. Perhaps she is bi-polar or some other such problem.
People suffering certain mental illnesses never are successful in relationship because their issues always destroy the relationship. That is one issue.
Next thing you stated is coming to hear that she had physical relationships with two guys before marriage. You did not say whether this was while you were dating and engaged or before you two met. This could be an issue either way depending on some piece of information I do not know about you. Are you and her both professing christians who were supposed to be 'saving themselves for marriage' and not have sex before marriage. If you were a virgin at marriage and she said she was also but wasn't, then that is lieing and disceiving practice and starts off a marriage without trust. Even though you didnt know yet, she did and that can still affect the marriage.
ON the other hand, if she had sexual relationships before she met you, I don't see what the problem is if she were committed to you once you met. Most people if they are acknowleging their sex drive and keeping healthy by having a sex partner, that is normal. The fact that you just didn't know...if thats what is bothering you, should not be an issue...there is no discieving or lying there if you two never discussed each others past relationships.
Obviously we all agree if the 2 guys came along while you were dating or engaged, then there is a problem. I don't know what to tell you since there are 3 possible scenerios. I dont have enough specific detail to know which it is.
Your next issue is the fact that some one messaged her. No info on who, what, when where why how...again. You did not say whether it was one of the two guys previously mentioned, or if it was someone else. You did not say what the content of the email was.
This could also have a few different scenerio's. Just because a guy writes the wife, doesn't mean something is afoot. If it was the previous guys and she did not sleep with them after meeting you, the guys intent may not have been bad, just checking up on an old friend to see how she's doing. The issue would be in the rest of the content, what did they discuss? Also, a female can be married, committed to her husband and have male friends. Both hubby and I have always preferred friends of the opposite sex rather than same sex for close non sexual friends.
I don't mean any disrespect to you sir, but How am I to know that you don't have issues with jealousy and jumping to conclusions and happen to be very controlling. Some women are attacked by the husband if a stranger in a store happens to even look at her,let alone receive an innocent email from a male friend.
You say she had daily messages. Were they from the same guy? It becomes suspicious to be talking to someone daily and especially claim to not even know who they were. That is the only thing I can get from your letter that I can know for certain is an issue. You did not even state whether she was confessing to having been physical and having one night stands with anyone before meeting you or since you've been married.
If this is happening during marriage, then theres a couple things to have to look at. It is never the resulting issue of just one person, it takes two. While one may be totally innocent and is doing nothing wrong, the only wrong thing may be that the one person is not the right person for the other, never was and marriage was a mistake. there are some issues regarding learning trust and good communication skills and such that can help all relationships. Marriage counselling is good for that. However there are people who get married who are mismatched in personalities, beliefs, goals and while those can be worked out with a counselor and make compromises, compromises do not work as well in the sexual department. If the two have differing libido's, what enough and often enough for one may be too much or not enough for the other. Also, there may be a lack of chemistry, no spark of romance and turn on, for one with the other or both feel the lack but push on and force the sexual relationship. This is often the reason for unhappiness in the sexual side of the relationship. I and ex were sexually mismatched and he ended up having mental illness too. Both were a killer of the marriage. It is possible while maybe you have desires for her sexually, she may not feel the same for you. Why she couldn't just tell you that, I dont know. Secretly trying to get sexually satified behind your back is one thing that will happen with marriages where they don't want to hurt the partners feelings by breaking up for that reason, but the alternative of discovering cheating is just as painful. Another reason is that they may really love the person..love like a best friend, love like a platonic love, but are just not happy sexually. Thats what happens when two 'best friends' who love each other marry who dont have sexual chemistry. Both are important foundations to a successful happy relationship, and without one or the other the relationship will be unhappy or break up.
Another reason to stay together though unhappy is because of children. That one I'm sure you've heard about before.
So the two of you need to be honest about how both of you feel sexually with each other. No sugar coating from her, no blaming of each other. While you may be the best lover in the world for a woman you have sexual chemistry with, just being yourself and doing all the same with another will not work with lack of chemistry. And since there is nothing in the world anyone can do to create chemistry...its either there or it is not, you can't blame her for lack of it and she can't blame you either. The only blame can be in choosing to continue to not talk about it and be honest about it. This talking can be done on your own but may go better with some separate and then together visits to a relationship counselor.
Your drinking will not make the issue go away for long...it'll alway be there. Avoiding talking to find out what you already suspect may come to pass, is not going to make you any happier. It is not going to make her any happier. The adult thing to do is to have both of you admit there is a problem and decide if it's something that can be fixed by counseling or an issue such as I mentioned that cannot be changed. Her not being ready to leave cant be the basis of whether you can talk to a professional or not. I have heard of couples who got divorced so legally they had no claim to each other anymore but they still shared the living situation for a while after the divorce. What makes this an option is that both are now free to pursue other relationships. And just like having a room mate, you let the new date know you have a room mate who is your ex and you are only sharing living space until she can get on her feet. Makes it tough finding an understanding new partner but it is one thing to consider. If her behaviour is such that she'd yell and mistreat any new love of yours, then that option will never work. See a lawyer about getting separated which is kind of like what you are working towards by being at the office so much. Decide what is the amount of time you will be separated to give her a chance to find other living arrangements and a job if needed. Most folks go to stay with a friend or relative when splitting up. She must have someone she can go to.
You may really be the only one holding this up, by trying to be the nice guy for her and see to her welfare. It may be that you are the type of person who lives their life as 'being in service' to others so you feel this is one of your services or duty in life. Where one goes wrong here is when they don't love themselves first. that bible verse about love your neighbor as yourself isn't about teaching on being loving and caring and in service to others. On the contrary, most of us miss the fact that it subtly says that we must learn to love ourselves first before we can properly love and help others. If the action being taken to help others has a negative effect on yourself, then what you are doing is not a very loving way to treat yourself. Of course you deserve better, you deserve to be happy and to have someone who loves you as a mate. Do what you need to do for yourself, keeping that little piece of scripture in mind. It is not a selfish thing to love yourself first. Until you love yourself and treat yourself accordingly which includes the situations you allow yourself to be in, you can not be truly able to love someone else. When you have decided to really love yourself, then how does loving the wife come into it? If you want her to be as happy as possible, your hearts mindset will be for her to be released from the marriage commitment so that she is free to go find the one who is right for her. If that alone isn't enough to make her happy, perhaps you would be willing as a friend to accompany her to finding the right therapist and getting some personal counseling, maybe mental health help. If she is resistant to your doing the right thing for your and her best interest, you will have to do so anyways, even if she throws fits because you know that you are going about it for the right reasons and so there is no reason to feel guilty. All of what I shared are things to think about and consider. with the missing info I had this , is the best I can offer...lengthy but there is no quick, easy, painless remedy to your situation. Peace to your heart and soul and may you find the personal strength to face your problem and bring it out in the open rather than avoid it as you are currently doing. Good luck
I am a 24 year old female and I have a date with this guy I have like for a long time now and he finally asked me out and I want to look my best but I don't really have a lot a clothes to wear and I only have $20.00 to spend right now and I won't get more money until Monday so I can spend much money on an outfit for the date . we are going to church first and then going to my house to hang out because he wants to meet my family before we start officially dating because he says he is old fashioned even though he is 25 he was raised this way that he is suppose to go to the girls house and meet their family before he goes out on a date with her to hangout .
Here are some out fits that I have planned that I could wear and I just wanted some opinions on what every one thinks that I should wear :
1 . I have some black leggins that I could wear with a black long sleeved shirt that's kind of low cut but I could wear a pink undershirt underneath to fix that problem and my cousin is going to let me borrow some black boots to go with it if I decide to wear that . would that be to much black on the first date ?
2. I also have some blue jeans with silver rine stones on the pockets of the jeans they arn't missy me's but they look kind of like those and I was thinking if I wear those I could wear my blue long sleeved shirt with the jeans but the sleeves are see through and I could also wear the black boots with that out fit that my cousins going to let me borrow . with the sleeves being see through show to much for church and the top shows my back but I could wear a black undershirt underneath to fix that problem .
3. I have a white sleeveless sund dress but since it is winter time I am afraid it would be to cold for the dress amd I wouldn't have any shoes to match because the only other pairs of shoes I own besides the black boots that my cousins going to let me borrow are tennis shoes and I don't think the boots would go with the dress and I know for a fact that tennis shoes won't go with dress i won't even try that .
4. I have 3 pairs of some more blues jeans but they don't have any kind of design on the back of them they are just plain blue jeans and I have several t-shirts that I could wear.
5. I also have 2 pairs of black denimn skinny jeans that I could wear but I don't know what top I should wear with them and I don't know weather I should wear the black boots or my pink and black tennis shoes with the skinny jeans please help me decide on what to wear on my date any opions are greatly appreciated thanks for everyones help in advance.
I used to attend church, have been in several different types. Some churches are naturally cool about dress code, as long as clean and not torn, jeans and tee are acceptable. Others may say anything is fine but inwardly expect higher standards of dress with the women wearing only dresses that are respectable, no jeans, etc... and will treat you snobbishly if you dont meet expectations.
You might ask the boyfriend what women wear to his particular church.
Some churches are also against smoking or anything that might "disgrace the temple of God", refering to our bodies as the temple of the HOly Spirit.
So you might also ask him right away exactly how he believes. If you haven't followed any belief in particular yourself, he may be hoping you will adopt his. This may or may not become a deal breaker for either of you if he or church wants you to conform to their wishes and you do not and should not change who you are to meet his or their expectations.
Just a warning, because I got sucked into people pleasing that way, trying to change who I was to please the husband but then the church didnt approve of ways I dressed so I had to be one person for church and another for husband and deep down I was not happy. End result, the husband ended up not happy with me.
As to what to wear- -be yourself!
Go with what you are most comfortable wearing.
Since you have mostly leggings and pants, wear whichever pair you like. Jeans will go with just about anything and the tops you wear can be casual or you can wear a dressy fancy top with jeans, thats also a nice look. If you have nothing dressy in a top that is appropriate for keeping warm and comfortable in winter, then pop into a 2nd hand store. Christmassy type tops will be singled out and on display this time of year.
If you do choose to buy a fancy top, then wear the boots or see if you can find a pair of dress shoes 2nd hand also. While that sounds icky, I have found many a pair that someone bought and after wearing twice didnt like the feel and donated the footwear and the sole and heel were not worn down yet.
This guy is interested in you, and didn't have to be impressed by the 'wrappings'. If he is really into you, that will include your personal style and tastes as well. The moment he begins to suggest you try something different or the church does, and you decide to listen to them, you are changing who you are to please someone else. Never change who you are to please others.
If you wear makeup, use it the same as you always do, no changes cus you want to be you. Same for the hair. Wear it as you always do, covering your ears. No need to make it really glamorous looking like for a bride in her wedding. If you find yourself fussing too much over how you look and worried about impressions you're gonna make, you're going about it the wrong way. No one should judge you for how you look.
How long can you go without a cigarette, will you need to have a puff directly before entering the church or right upon exiting? If so, you might say, "Since I have heard some churches disapprove of smoking, I want you to know that I do and I am pretty addicted. I'll probably want to smoke right before I enter the building and need one again right after its over. Is this going to be a problem? If you don't have that strong an addiction and can go for a while, then obviously theres nothing to worry about as far as church is concerned. If you and he are spending all day together from church directly to see the parents, then somewhere in there you're going to need to have a smoke and if he sees you smoke there while doing the old fashioned things to meet the parents before dating you, then if the smoking is a deal breaker issue for him, he may feel quite awkward to be there to gain their approval to date you when now he's changed his mind. Hopefully he's not that shallow. I knew quite a lot of really sweet people attending church who were smokers so he may be cool with that.
Only you know what things he might have issues with and since you mentioned smoking, your gut hunch is that it might be a good idea to bring that up now. The sooner, the better. But not just smoking issue, have that discussion on beliefs, his, yours or the lack of. Can there be an acceptance of each other even with difference in beliefs or is his way...the only way and all others are wrong. You don't want to get mixed up in willingly joining a group who is so narrow minded. And the two of you if committed to being together may have to decide what church or belief is a better fit for the both of you. Good luck dear
I am a level 8 gymnast and have done gymnastics for a while but i need to know- is it time for me to quit? Ive always been the last one in my group, but this year everyone moved up- BUT ME. Also, i seem to be prone to get mental blocks. I have periodically gotten and lost many skills over the years , and my coaches seem to hate me for it. They call me a coward, a wimp, and that I shouldnt be a gymnasts. Through the years, ive dealt with it but I dont know if i cant stand it! If i talk to my mom she says " just keep your head up!" But how can i if everyone keeps pushing me down?
All the same, im reluctant to quit. Ive done it for so long, and its a big part of my life. Its never been my dream to be an Olympic, but i feel that if i quit ill regret it and/or let everyone down . What do I do?
The question you need to ask yourself is, "Why am I doing gymnastics?" I am pretty sure your answer will be, "Because I enjoy it." Otherwise, you are doing it because a parent expects that of you or a best friend is into it and you've always copied her, or for someone other than yourself.
You did say that you are not in it for an end goal or purpose of going to the Olympics, but I am sure there are many other other regional levels and medals to win. So are you into gymastics because your goal is to be competitive. Is it possible to be a gymnast and not be competitive? If you are not into competing, your subconscious mind will place those mental blocks because the competitiveness is robbing you of the joy of doing it simply for love of it.
When you say "if i quit ill regret it and/or let everyone down" I wonder about the letting others down part. Are you part of a team that competes locally with other gymnast teams? Does your skill level or lack of it hold the entire team back? If so, and your end goal isn't the same as theirs, you are letting them down. The coaches if they are speaking those actual negative words to you, are more into winning competitions as a team than into the individual to find ways to use gymnatics as the vehicle through which to discover your own personal greatness. Have you sat down and talked to your coaches? You could always try hypnosis if you feel you have a mental block and you really want to do as well as the others? But another question to ask is, am I fighting myself? Is your awake/conscious mind forcing your subconscious to do something it does not enjoy at all. Like being two different people, but the battle is between the two minds. If your subconscious is not on the same page and asking yourself doesnt bring the obvious answer why, then hypnosis may bring the reason to the forefront so you can then better make a decision whether to continue or not.
Maybe you DO enjoy competing in Gym but the problem lies entirely with personality clash with the coaches, and not liking, respecting or trusting them fully. So the answer might be to look for a different team to be a part of rather than stick with this one and be unhappy or quit in which case you will also be unhappy. I can't tell you whether to quit or not, just what questions to ask yourself so you can come to the conclusion on your own. Hope this helps. Good luck
use tp
me and my boyfriend have been together gor about 4 month and im scared that he might break up with me because we dont talk like that and we cant see each other like that because my mom deosnt trust me. what should i do?
Is it really an issue of trust or is it that the parents set a rule about when you can date and you're not old enough to go out on official dates yet. You didn't mention your age.
If hanging at school only doesnt feel like enough time spent together, the only other chance is to see if you can have him over as a friend when the parents are home to supervise. If you haven't dated before, this is a good way for starting out so the parents can learn to be comfortable with the boy.
You can try asking if you can invite a friend over who is a male friend from school. I would avoid using the term boyfriend with the parents for now, as that immediately conjures up images of dating which they may deem you too young for.
Then start out with hanging out in the family room or living room so the parents aren't worrying about the two of you alone in your bedroom. After a few times, check if it's okay if he hangs out with you in your room, maybe with the door open.
I know it may not be what you had in mind for dating a boyfriend but you have to start somewhere. I have talked with teen girls whose boyfriends hung out at their place all the time and the parents got to really liking him and trusting him. And they were able to have unsupervised dates sooner because the parents knew the boy would treat the daughter right.
If your parents were game for it, the only problem might be if this was too scary for the guy. One of my daughters had a guy interested in her late in 6th grade. I told her to invite him to hang at our house. It was too scary for him, he chickened out.
I'm a 20 year-old guy and I just started college at a university filled with hot girls, and I always think about girls, all day.
I am single and have been for a while, and I just always think about girls and sex and when I am in my house that is all I ever think about. Do I have a problem?
My dear, you're a perfectly normal male. And this is something you'll be doing most likely all your life since its normahttp://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Guy-Oul. Yes even the older guys still think of sex all the time, married or not. There's much to be said about fantasizing, but eventually the next step is to take it from the thinking and fantasizing about a relationship with a girl to making it become a real life reality.
There are a lot of dos and don't to know. How does a guy walk up to and start conversation with a gal he sees that he likes. Just walking up and saying hi is wrong. But there is a right way. I will post a link to one guys you tube channel where he posts nothing but help for guys and has several specific websites like one just for shy guys. There are others out there too offering advice but many seemed more tongue in cheek than actual serious as this guy. Hope it helps you get started.
http://www.youtube.com/user/stephanerdman?feature=watch
is it okay to ask out guys?
Guys love when a girl asks them out, it takes the pressure off them of asking.
Here's a cute article with steps on how to make it easier for yourself with good tips. Good luck!
http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Guy-Out
I want to make out for the first time But... I don't know what to do whit my tong can u maybe help? I am male
Start out kissing gently and slowly, and build pressure. Do not thrust tongue into her mouth wildly like an eel demonstrating dance moves. Kiss for a while and then initiate the tongue slowly probing into her mouth. If she doesnt respond with her tongue, either she's not ready for that stage of kissing or she doesn't like it at all. Wait a while and try again. Use hands to hold her head, hair, cradle her face. One thing to know about females, it may take a while to get them worked up romance wise, but once there they stay hot a long time like an iron. So give plenty of time to the kissing and vary the kisses. There are enough kiss scenes in movies to give you an idea of how to vary the kiss, maybe using light nibbles along the chin and neck and ears as well.
Right, so there is this boy who I like and I think he likes me too (it's hard to tell because we're both really shy) and basically I want his number so I can talk to him more outside of school (we're in year 11 by the way) but I'm way to nervous to just ask him as it would be awkward and I don't know how he'd react...
Anyway, today one of my friends said that he gave my number to this guy that I like about 2 months ago. The thing is - he hasn't called or texted me and (when I'm with him) has told people he doesn't have my number. I'm confused as to why he would just not use my number and I'm not sure if I should ask him if he has actually got my number?
With the conversations you do have at school,have you learned if you have some similar interests/hobbies/or goals? There should be some way in convo to sneak in a request for phone number related to the convo at the time.
Example, you both are talking about your favorite genre of movie and you ask him hey can I get your phone number? I want to text you a link to one of the trailers of (mention the upcoming movie). It would also be fun to be able to talk about it.
I wanna go see it and who knows, maybe we could go see it together.
Here's where you missed an opportunity, he is with you at the time he is telling others that he doesn't have your phone number. He isn't directing this statement at you but them. However you are there at the time to hear it. Maybe he wanted you to hear it hoping you'd give it to him.
No matter why he said it then, and if he really lost it,
it was the perfect time to pull out a piece of paper and start writing down your phone number as you say (mentioning the names of the other friends there that you know have your number) Well gee Kyle, I'll have to fix that. I'll give you my number. Mike here has had it for a long time, so has Steven and Julie. We're all friends. I don't see any reason not to have it." Hand it to him and give him a blank piece of paper and hand him a pen, "And while we're at it, could I get your number too? You may not come up with a creative idea like that the instant he's said it. But in a few minutes as you come up with a reasonable reason to ask for it, say something right away without letting more time go by.
Or plan an event at your house with parents permission, a Saturday movie watching time with popcorn and pop and chips or other goodies, maybe making it a pizza and movie evening. Then ask for his number so you can do a last minute check with all the friends you're inviting so you know how much pizza and stuff to have on hand.
Once you get your mind thinking and creating all these scenerios you'll find it is easier to come up with a good way to ask.
The easiest way to ask of course is directly. Its awkward yes and hard if shy. If you don't also volunteer why you asked for it without him having to ask why you want it, then its even more awkward. Its easier to have some valid excuse for asking for it and do so in the same sentence.
Good luck dear.
boyfriend's family is not very friendly to my niece. They are both teenagers and very much in love, so my niece has to keep visiting his house. But the boyfriend's family gets nasty and sometimes slaps him when she leaves. As an aunt should I intervene?
You didn't make yourself to clear. At first I thought you meant your boyfriends family. But I read it several times and think you are saying that you are the aunt of a teenage girl who is crazy about her boyfriend. She visits his house. While there, no one is friendly with her. when she leaves the house, the boy is yelled at and slapped around by his family.
If that is what you are trying to say...I have some questions. You said she "has to" keep visiting his house. Who is forcing her to visit him there? Why can't they meet elsewhere? That part is not clear. I highly doubt that someone is forcing her against her will to go to his house.
Next question: How do you know that the teen age boy is being verbally and physically abused when she leaves? Is this what the niece tells you? Or have you been there to give her a ride home and witnessed this?
If you have not witnessed this, you can not report the family to Child protective services. If its only what has been told to you by your niece, thats not evidence. I dont say she is lieing, just that CPS may not take it seriously if you say its what your niece told you.
If you are not talking about intervening on the boys behalf and his physical welfare, then my next question is:
What were you thinking of intervening about? I can understand your emotions getting riled when you love your niece and hear things are not going well for her. But everyone has the free will, and with free will can not be forced to behave a certain way such as being friendlier to your niece and allowing the two to date without hassles.
Okay, so I've known this boy for over a year now I'm quite close to him and his friends and we would all normally have a drink together on the weekends. He's so fun and I really like him, he gets along so well with my family and always jokes about how we'll end up together someday. He would stay over in my house occasionally after a night out but nothing ever goes further than a kiss, well that was the case until last week. We slept together and its been nearly two weeks and I haven't had so much as a text which isn't unusual because we only really speak at the weekends. Am I reading too much in to things? I really like this guy and I know he isn't the kind of person that would use me. If this is only a casual thing how can I turn it into something more serious? id appreciate some help please.
are you waiting to hear from him first? I'll bet the both of you have imaginations running wild with wondering what the other person is thinking. You need to contact him and have him over and have a good heart to heart talk. I can't tell you what's up. Maybe nothing and he had something come up the one weekend and forgot to text and say something.
I don't know if you're both the religious type who don't usually go for sex before marriage or he is just very old fashioned.If so there could be guilt. And If that is the case, here's how the imagination can get carried away: He now feels that for either of those reasons he's killed his chance with you by having sex with you and the fact you haven't contacted him means you don't want to see him anymore. See what I mean about imaginations running wild?
Or the fact you haven't heard from him has you imagining all sorts of things such as, he likes me but doesn't like sex with me.
Neither of you are going to progress well without lots of misunderstandings if you don't communicate better and talk things out. Neither of you are mind readers so you have no idea whats going on in each others mind and need to ask.
Ok, so tomorrow me and my boyfriend are going to kiss for the first time and I have no idea how to kiss! im totally screwed please help!
For most of us, kissing comes as a natural instinct. For some things in life, there is no course to that to learn how because the best way to learn is by just doing, and kissing is one of them.
Remember learning how to ride a bike? I'll bet you didn't take a class to learn how. Some things you just start doing and learn to get better along the way.
All adults I have talked to on the subject, all were scared or nervous about their first time kissing. Just as I was both excited and scared about the first time riding a bike. Kissing is the same. You've seen enough kisses on TV shows and movies to know that each person doesn't come on straight nose to nose because the noses will clash. One person tilts their head to one side, which one, doesnt matter, one direction will feel more natural to you, like being right or left handed. Leave out the french kissing for a first kiss, or at least work into trying it later. Not everyone likes that to begin with, so its a matter of being willing to try that when ready and if not liking that, communicate it.
As for any practical advice, kisses can be soft or harder but don't apply pressure so hard that you grind a persons lips into their teeth. A fun thing to do is build the anticipation of a kiss by slowly approaching their lips. Do something with your hands such as putting your hand at the back of their head, playing with or grabbing their hair, firmly but not like trying to pull it out. Or cradle their face with your hands or one hand on the cheek or holding or stroking a shoulder. Hope this helps
Could it be possible that i have undetectable antibidies due to hiv 4 years ago and would a pcr and rna hiv hep c test
Detect the virus which it is meant to uf infected, but will it after 4 years
If I were you, I would ask someone who works in that field.
So heres a link to Dr. Cameron who specialize in HIV and AIDs. She is online and will answer you when you type in your question.
Good luck.
http://www.justanswer.com/hiv-aids/85k7q-hi-doctor-i-protected-i.html
I'm a thirteen year old (nerdy) girl, and it's been pointed out to me that thinking nerdy boys are cute is atypical. I simply don't find what people would consider "normal" boys my age attractive. I think nerdy boys are very cute, especially boys with glasses (I've also been told this is odd), and I've never had a crush on anyone who isn't as smart or smarter than I am (I realize this may seem somewhat rude, as that's saying I think myself to be very intelligent, which I do not- just somewhat competent). What do you think? Is this weird? I never thought of as being so, just not the dominant opinion.
While it might not be something normal at your age due to most girls not having figured out that it is best to go after what is attractive to them yet,
being attracted to nerdy guys is perfectly normal.
It is unusual for young teens to know with out a doubt exactly what they are attracted to in the opposite sex. Some older adults are still trying to figure that out or havent a clue and just go for someone attractive on the outside but not on the inside.
When I was dating to find my new partner after a divorce...I came across some guys who looked like models in a magazine. Almost all had some issues, usually so into themselves requiring adoration cus they knew they looked hot according to Hollywood standards, or were bossy, domineering etc...
So stick with your standards and don't lower them or settle for less ever. Having an intelligent brain and great personality are just as important if not more so factors in finding someone attractive or sexy.
Okay i am a 13/f in middle school.Okay my friend T and me have been friends every since 3 grade to now.Last year in 6th grade.I started to have a crush on him.He said he had a crush on me every since 3 grade.We went together that 6th grade year then broke up that summer to 7th.He broke up with me for i don't know reason.Later in July he asked me back and i said no.Because i was afraid to get hurt again.This year we became close friends.One day in a connection class he was closer to me than normal and my friends was just looking like why he so close.The boy that had a crush on me was getting mad. Every time i see him he smile at me. when we switch classes he find some way to see me in my class. He always whisper stuff in my ear.I really do miss him we seem to have that chemistry.
My question is do you think he want me back.
And should i give him a second chance?
Thanx for your time.
At older grade school thru high school there is a lot of changing and growing up that a young person will do, including you. You can't label a person you know today by what they have done in the past.
In your case, you don't know why he broke up with you. So ask him and let him know that the never having known why has weighed on your mind all this time. Obviously by his current actions, there is an interest in you. If he didn't want to win you back, he wouldn't be putting so much effort into being close to you..something a guy does when attracted to a girl.
Most likely causes for break ups at that age are boredom/loss of interest or they are interested but can't handle the teasing from friends after a while and break up. If your girlfriends are staring and another boy with interest in you in getting upset, I'd say that isn't bothering him even if it did once in the past.
Did he lose interest in you? If he admitted back then he had a crush on you since 3rd grade, I find it unlikely that he lost interest or got bored with you. More likely a peer pressure thing. So you do need to ask. Even if he's gotten over whatever the problem was, the break up is still having its effect on you, and until you get explanations and apology, you personally won't be able to move on with your friend because that is between you. If you get on so well together it would be sad to see you not work it out. He may not know it bothered you so much. He is still young and needs to know that you are not a mind reader so he has to communicate better and you need to learn how to ask questions when he is not forth-coming with information. I think it is more a lack of experience rather than trying to keep things from each other. Good Communication is a very important part of every relationship, not just dating ones. So don't assume anything or make a decision without more info. talk to him
Good luck dear! Happy Holidays to you