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future relationship or casual fling?
Okay, so I've known this boy for over a year now I'm quite close to him and his friends and we would all normally have a drink together on the weekends. He's so fun and I really like him, he gets along so well with my family and always jokes about how we'll end up together someday. He would stay over in my house occasionally after a night out but nothing ever goes further than a kiss, well that was the case until last week. We slept together and its been nearly two weeks and I haven't had so much as a text which isn't unusual because we only really speak at the weekends. Am I reading too much in to things? I really like this guy and I know he isn't the kind of person that would use me. If this is only a casual thing how can I turn it into something more serious? id appreciate some help please.
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honestly most of the time if it means someting to them and they want to continue they would text you. but it could be that he just doesnt know what to say or is confused/scared. some boys wait a wierdly long time before texting girls or sometimes you have to let it happen by accident one more time and then at that point they 100% would have to text you if they want it to be something more.
i wouldnt read too much into it yet hopefully you guys will hang out one weekend again soon and see what happens from there.
maybe mid hook up next time as things are escalating say someting like "well i dont know if i can do this i dont usually hookup with people who dont text me after" (but phrase it a lot better) and say it in playful and teasing tone but it forces him to adress it and explain if he has an explanation. also lets him know that you want him to text you and want something more seirous so that if thats what he wants also he can try.
doesnt need to be exactly like that but just do something subtle to let him know your interested and to pursue it if he is.
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From what it seems, it just seems casual. If it was more, then most likely you guys would be dating at this point since he has already stayed over at your house a few times but never took it further.
It's really hard to go from sleeping with someone, to dating. It's usually the other way around. It's not impossible, it's just extremely difficult because you guys skipped the stages.
Since he's not the type of person who would use you, then you'll most likely end up getting an honest answer out of him if you asked him how he felt.
The reasons why he hasn't texted you or anything would either be that he doesn't think there would be a reason to text you since it was just a hook up or he's just doing the same thing as you and is confused.
So as for trying to turn it into something serious, you can either ask him how he feels or ask him to hang out and go from there.
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are you waiting to hear from him first? I'll bet the both of you have imaginations running wild with wondering what the other person is thinking. You need to contact him and have him over and have a good heart to heart talk. I can't tell you what's up. Maybe nothing and he had something come up the one weekend and forgot to text and say something.
I don't know if you're both the religious type who don't usually go for sex before marriage or he is just very old fashioned.If so there could be guilt. And If that is the case, here's how the imagination can get carried away: He now feels that for either of those reasons he's killed his chance with you by having sex with you and the fact you haven't contacted him means you don't want to see him anymore. See what I mean about imaginations running wild?
Or the fact you haven't heard from him has you imagining all sorts of things such as, he likes me but doesn't like sex with me.
Neither of you are going to progress well without lots of misunderstandings if you don't communicate better and talk things out. Neither of you are mind readers so you have no idea whats going on in each others mind and need to ask.
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