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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
young female
Okay so I'm mostly straight (I've only dated guys), but my first kiss was with a girl (I was at most 7 and my older sister kinda...you get the idea.) and I've made out with a female friend a couple of times.
I come from a strict Catholic family, from a homosexuality standpoint. But the times I made out with my friend, well... they were amazing. The first time we were just messing around and pretending that we were going to kiss eachother, but at one point our lips accidentally met. We both looked shocked for a moment, and then pulled in for another, and started to make out quite intensly. I was becoming a bit overwhelmed afterword, because my parents view it as sin and because we both had boyfriends (we were 12 for gods sake), but she reassured me that we were just practicing on one another. The second time, I was feeling aroused and invited her over. We ended up making out, each taking turns to stimulate the other, and eventually dry humping. We both decided then that that was the farthest we'd go, including 'scissoring'. But that was the last time because I freaked out and almost killed myself over shame.
Now I feel kind of bad, because I could tell that both of us were developing crushes.
I guess my questions are:
1. Is this sin? Should I be ashamed?
-and-
2. should I contact her- the friend- and apologize? Its been 2 years, but we're still in contact.
Thanks.
Oh hon, I'm so sorry to hear how you're carrying such a load of guilt.
Your parents are doing their best to raise you as they saw was the most proper way to do including religious beliefs. I did the same with my girls, a different type of church but same thing regarding certain beliefs. As they got older, like 14-18, they began to have some differing ideas, nothing major, one started out wanting to attend a different church with her friends family and the youngest had some psychic experiences that she felt she couldn't tell me of since the church considered that evil and taboo so she ended up going to her aunt with it. I am not so narrow minded now and believe God himself took me on a spiritual journey of lots of eye opening and revelations to my heart, nothing that anyone else told me. I only made these changes later in life to learn to think and believe for myself, not blindly follow what someone else says.
So I encourage you to read anything and everything you can about homosexuality from both viewpoints, those who are christian and say its sin and those who are christians or spiritual people who support it. You need to decide for yourself what is right. It is through our experiences in life that we come to believe certain things, truly believe them so that no matter what anyone else says, or objects to, we know what we know deep in our hearts and nothing can ever change that.
So ask yourself if deep inside, while doing it, you felt you were doing something wrong. There are so many religions in the world and everyone thinks they have it right, and all the rest are wrong. What if everyone had one or two pieces of the truth, but the rest of their beliefs were off or totally wrong? There's a saying, Do not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
So keep those parts of the belief that you sense are right and discard those that don't. Develop your own senses for what is right or wrong. Your inner voice, and your angels and God will speak to you and let you know if the way you are going is okay or not. Too many people have presumed to understand and know who God is and what he's really like and what he considers a sin. Do you think you have sinned when you get a bad grade on a test? I certainly hope not. I dont think any student would think that getting a failing grade is equivalent to sinning against God.
The earth is our classroom dear, our life is like passing grade levels as we mature. Sometimes we have to make repeated mistakes to learn something. In archery, to sin simply means to miss the bullseye, miss the mark. I am sure God rejoices once we learn but he is not ever angry with us when we do anything in life, no matter if we label it good or bad, as long as we learn something that we are personally meant to learn. God himself is our only standard, not the bible or any religion. Get close to GOD and hear from him personally and you will know if you are doing the right thing for you.
Just as there are different learning styles, there will be even more different paths for every living person to take, one that is uniquely meant to be experienced only by him/her because it is on that path they will be more likely to learn or remember and mature and grow on. Thats all a parent really wants, for their child to grow into the healthiest person they can be as an adult both mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritu
ally. And yes that is Gods goal too.
remember how you felt like killing yourself over what you'd done? The area of sexuality is one of the biggest reasons that teens actually do kill themselves. The kids don't feel there is any support from the family, and society really has very little clue and is so biased or uneducated. This should not be so.
Truthfully, I think there are very few options for teen girls to take care of their blossoming sexual urges from age 10 on. You cannot go and purchase vibrators or dildos, and after a while, just using your fingers doesnt cut it. The safest thing for a young girl, is to have sex with another girl, even safer than getting on birth control like the pill and having sex with a guy at that early an age, because the hormones in the contraceptives really mess with a young body that isn't even fully done growing yet. Many females get many terrible side effects from hormone based stuff so the best choice they have is to explore with another girl, whether they really truly are bi-sexual, gay or not.
When being intimate with someone, feelings will easily develop, its natural. You will discover once your much older that even with a guy
there has to be some feelings for the sex to be good, otherwise it doesnt always last long.
My opinion is that you have nothing to be ashamed about.
Should you apologize to your friend? You only need to apologize if you have done something wrong. Neither of you forced the other or black mailed the other to explore sex. It was a decision you both made and made you become closer than most girlfriends would. Cherish those memories. If you have other related questions or thoughts you want to get out, just write to me. I am pretty open-minded sexually. In the end, what you do, and the beliefs you form must be your own, I can only share other perspectives you may not have thought of yet that help you decide what you believe and what path you will take in life.
Hello 15/F*
My mom keeps reading my diary! I try to hide it but she is allways snooping around!! I write EVERYTHING °̩n there because that's the way I express my feelings. I don't act weird I'm allways bubbly, but I have my down days. Why does she keep reading it. And any good ideas where to hide it? I can't hide it °̩n my matress or pillow. So any other ideas? ThxX lvj! XxX
Does mom do this openly or sneak and do it and get caught? Does she tell you what she read and ask about it? It is not right for mom to not give you the same respect and courtesy as she would her best friend or a co-worker. To be caught snooping through a friends bedroom drawers or through her purse is wrong and disrespectful.
My first question on reading this was to wonder if you and mom ever talk much and have meaningful conversation. Sometimes when teens begin to learn to make their own choices, choose their own friends, and past times, they end up getting all their socializing needs taken care of with other teens and siblings or parents get left out. Where there was once lots of talking and communicating is no longer there. You may not have realized if this is what happened. As a mom, when my daughters were teens, if they suddenly stopped wanting to take time to talk with me and that kept on with any attempts from me to get them to just talk to me and share about school or their friends, I would think something may be wrong that they are attempting to hide. Parents had to develope an instinct when kids were little. the moment a child is playing and then it gets really quiet and you can't hear them anymore in another room, a parent knows to investigate because thats usually the moment the child has gotten a hold of scissors and is attempting to cut their own hair or is unrolling all the toilet paper or stuffing things in the toilet, etc.... If your situation is that you have unknowingly become too quiet with mom, that could be what has driven her to be concerned. However her choice of how to remedy that, is not right. A better choice would be to sit with you and have a talk and share how she is feeling concern. If mom doesnt know that you know what she's been up to, its time to bring this out into the open. Tell mom that you know, and ask her to be honest and tell you why. Is she worried that you might be getting into trouble? Is there anything she is picking up, the false signal that there is a problem? Does she feel the two of you don't talk and communicate enough? Reassure her that you love her.
If she denies it or tries to pretend she has no idea what you're talking about, then share whatever proof you feel you have of her behavior. It may come to the point where you need to state that if she's trying to feel ,closer to you, or worried or suspicious of your activities as a teen, then snooping is not going to help, it will draw a wedge between you and her by destroying trust, And let her know that by snooping, she is setting a bad example for you and any siblings by doing what she's doing, no matter how she justifies it in her mind. work to put this in the past and kiss and make up.
By trying to keep finding better hiding places, you are not choosing to face the issue, the problem head on. Finding better hiding places is not going to solve a problem if it is solvable.
If perhaps your mother has some mental issues where she needs to be under the care of a dr. with medication, then this will not be the only issue you have with mom. Do you have a dad? If talking to mom doesnt help, I would talk to the other parent. If thats not possible, go to an aunt or grandma you're close to and tell them the story with facts, not emotional hysterics. And ask them to have a talk with your mom and find out whats going on with her and see if a solution can be found. Its hard for a parent to take correction from a child but mom soon will need to learn to go from her mothering role to just being your sounding board/ a source of emotional support, a person to bounce your ideas or thought off of, only when asked by you, and this is a hard change for parents to do when their child is an adult and we witness them making mistakes but are not being asked our opinion. I must speak with my grown daughters the same as i do with people who write in here. Giving them other perspectives to look at, offering some different points of view that might help bring clarity but in the end the decision is still yours, and with my kids, its still their decision.
Let me know how it works out and if you end up with any more questions regarding your situation, let me know.
So my friends were bugging me to talk to this boy and I finally talked to him last night it was around 9. We start playing 21 questions but after he says I'm really cute but before the game he said he really didn't like anybody at school . I'm so confused right now I mean I wanna get to know him better but him hiding his feelings are bothering me
And what did you say or what did you ask when he said you were cute but earlier said he didn't like anyone at school? If you did not say anything, how did you expect to get clarification?
Anytime that two human beings need to interact like in a classroom/teacher-student, at work boss or coworker and you, family, a potential boyfriend or many other .... interactions, good communication is important or there will be confusion, assumptions, or mistakes or missed opportunities.
The sooner you learn this, the less problems you'll have in all areas of like including dating.
there's never any time like the present to ask questions right when the situation is occurring. It is much harder to bring up a similar subject at a future time and steer the conversation to the thing you are wondering about so you can ask a question.
I will give you an example. When he said after the game that you are really cute, without sounding like you're interrogating him, you could have asked for clarification in the following manner. "Um Jake, I am kinda confused here. You just said I am cute, so is that just an observation and comment you're making or are you maybe attracted to me? I am wondering because of what you said earlier of not liking anybody at school and I go to the same school? Or is it that you just never noticed me before at school?
All people...even grown ups make the same mistakes in communicating...they may not choose the best words or their words sound misleading without them intentionally trying for double meanings. So we have to ask when ever we are not clear on what was said, even a simple comment that may not end up being important. As soon as you find yourself questioning what someone said, ask.
I do not understand why you state that he is hiding his feelings? How do you know that is what is truly happening? Is there some piece of information you have not shared here that might shed some more light on what is gong on?
For example, if he is known to be very shy with everyone, doesnt talk much or share his thoughts, ideas and feelings with anyone, including friends? Is this some character trait of his?
If it bothers you to think that he is not outgoing enough to share more information up front without being asked,it's best if you realize that he may not be intentionally hiding anything, he's certainly not psychic where he can know what your thoughts and questions are and automatically begin answering your questions just by seeing a puzzled look on your face, and he may be young, shy, inexperienced in talking to girls, etc...
If you want to know if he's really interested in you, body language can share lots. Look for his attempted to catch your eyes, staring at you often, finding flimsy excuses to come and stand or sit near you, at least within arms length. Any two people who subconsciously do that will also back away from someone they are not comfortable with and attracted to or they stay put or move even closer. A person interested in you will lean towards you when talking with you. And another thing someone does when interested in the other person is begin to mimic their movements, again without conscious thought so it may not be exact, like repositioning your legs as seated, the other will move theirs too right after you do your but maybe not the exact same position.
Think of your life as a series of 21 questions and another 21 questions, make that 21,000 questions...don't ever stop asking questions. And so my dear, for you to know what this guy or any guy means when he says stuff, you have to ask the particular guy. What one guy gives for an answer will not automatically be the same thing another guy feels, beleives, etc... No assumptions, only questions.
I am bisexual. No one is aware of this, and everyone just assumes that I am straight. Recently, a coworker of mine and I have been getting closer, and I'm starting to feel as though I am developing romantic feelings for her. As far as I know, she is straight.
How should I deal with my growing feelings for her? How do I handle my work relationship with her?
If she is single or married and straight, the way you handle your feelings or work relationship is the same way guys need to learn to handle a sexual attraction to someone other than the gal he is with if he's dating or married, he's uses willpower to not go there.
I know thats not much help but unless she leaves the job place or you do, you are going to have to face the fact you have feelings and not act on them.
When a person is first attracted to another, that attraction is usually surface level, there is only so much one can witness about that person to be attracted to them. I can't say that you are attracted to the same qualities in a female as you might be in a male.
A constructive thing to do is take note of exactly what those qualities are. Perhaps its her style of humour, her laugh, how she carries herself, her looks, mannerisms, how organized she is or how she handles pressure at work. Great things to admire in a person. You will want to be looking for the same qualities in a female who is bisexual also. I personally am not but have known many bisexual females who were married. They let their husbands or boyfriends know as soon as they discovered this about themselves. Guys are pretty good about the situation being explained up front, and don't like surprised of something like this discovered later by accident. So if you have a male significant other, it's best you share with him now so he has time to get used to the idea and decide if he's okay with or not. You need a man who doesn't feel threatened or like he's lacking in some way. I talked often with the husbands and found they were very supportive of the girlfriend/wife. One let her find her female b
partner by using an online site, dating site...where you can put your status as being bisexual and looking for women. Another guy accompanied his wife to a swing club where he sat and enjoyed the band that played but did not engage in dancing with or sex with other women, just there in her support. Its much easier to begin with searching for a female who has already declared herself as being bi, than trying to find one that you might stumble across in your regular schedule and activities of life. If your senses are picking up signals that make you think she may be bi, you can always try to innocently steer the conversation that way. If you are becoming more chummy at work, that should be easy, starting a conversation. Maybe mention a movie or show you saw on the subject and then ask what she thinks about that and ask if she's straight or bi curious at the least.
tonight I hung out with my ex, things seemed to be going well, and he was being flirty. we started to watch a movie and he got real quiet then he turned the movie off and all of a sudden he changed. he said he doesn't want to do this anymore he doesn't feel connected to me, he wants to leave the past in the past and start a new chapter, he said whenever I asked him advice on guys he said it felt awkward for him to tell me how to go about getting to know another guy, and he doesn't want to have a physical relationship with me. and he got angry when I didn't even do anything to him. he said some of the things I do and say and he said im smug and stuck up. he said he thought me and him being friends would be different than how it is but tonight he didn't want to be there with me like he thought he wanted to be and he has a lot of stuff going on, why did he suddenly get angry with me for no reason? and why did he lash out on me? whenever I tried to ask him why he would just tell me "I don't know"
Have you asked yourself why you really feel a need to spend time together with an ex boyfriend?
Don't lie to yourself and say all the reasons why that don't really bring up the truth. If you can't be truthful with yourself, you are not going to move on very well and may keep repeating the same things that have led to this because you did not learn.
Either you or he or both of you felt guilt about splitting up, or felt awkward not at least staying friendly with each other, or felt your last decision to split might have been too hasty.
Getting together again because of guilt will end in failure because the things that caused you to break up in the first place are still there.
Hanging out with in order to be friendly towards each other is going a little too far. Being friendly means there are no hard feelings and if you bump into him at the store, instead of pretending he's not there, not talking to him or being rude, you greet him and say hello and ask how he's been. But taking it to the point of spending time together snuggling and watching a movie together isn't about remaining friends. Again, don't lie to yourself, Its' about a hope deep down that maybe you can get back together. nOt picking on you, it may be him feeling this instead or also.
If my last guess is right, that you both weren't sure about your first decision to split and were attempting to give it another chance by just hanging around in each others presence without talking it out in detail together, voicing each of your hopes, concerns, expectations, and lastly ground rules and being ok with all of those....then there would not have been a frustrated and angry lashing out, just a calm, hey...this isn't working for me and you both agree to not try again and move on with your lives.
Yes, asking an ex for dating tips is one of the most awkward things there is. I am not surprised that he feels uncomfortable helping you get the next guy. I don't know what you and he may both be doing wrong relationship wise but dating is a road we take where we make many wrong turns, and come up against road blocks. and never seem to make progress if we are unaware of something we do that unintentionally kills the relationship. And it may be several somethings.
If he says he doesnt know, its a good chance he really doesnt. He has no more clue than you as to what is wrong and how to fix it. If the two of you lack that romantic chemistry together, you can go through the motions but you will never feel what you want to feel with the other person and there is nothing you can do to change that...theres such a thing as the pheremones your body lets off and you cant change that any more than you can change the shape of your teeth or color of your skin. If there is no pheremone connection, it aint happening...and if you force it, one or both of you will become disillusioned, frustrated and angry over time. In dating, I met some guys that were real sweet wonderful men but I did not feel that connection with them. Thats just life.
So if you want dating advice, don't ask him. You could come here and ask the specific question.
But My advice is that the better option for your situation is for you to start studying books and videos on relationship and dating advice. It is okay to not know and make mistakes out of innocent ignorance, cus there really is no 'class' one can take to learn it all, like taking a math class in school. We all start not knowing much. Some of us may have better instincts and accidentlyl do the right things but a good majority of us make mistakes that will kill a relationship. Now that I've pointed this out to you, for you to continue on with the dating scene and not choose to self educate yourself on how to have a successful relationship will only amount to you knowingly sabotaging future relationships by lack of information. If you want help finding some good books or video's, I'd be glad to help you search for those.
Good luck dear.
Hi. I'm 15 years only and when I was about six I started putting the bath sponge in my mouth and chewing on it, I have never swallowed it but I am addicted to the taste, smell, and texture of sponge, recently it has become so bad that I have started taking bits of the sponge and putting it in my mouth outside the bathroom. I have found out about something called pica and its the closest thing I can find to what I do but the people who have it swallow what they are putting in their mouth, can anyone help me to identify what I have and if there's any danger to it?
I have seen ads for TV shows, short clips of people who have strange habits and like you can't truly explain why. All I remember is one person who ate nothing but chalk, and another who would eat powdered laundry detergeant. Without being a doctor or having a fancy degree, I know already that doing so is going to make someone physically ill at some point. In your case, you are not actually eating sponge, or at least not yet. So I guess something odd like this is beginning to become more common place. I can't say why. And hon, what you are doing may be rare or unique enough that doctors and scientists would not be able to answer if chewing on sponges could pose any potential danger to your physical health. Do I think it means you and others doing similar things are crazy? No, I think it is something else going on in the mind. There may be some mental or emotional need deep in your subconscious mind that somehow you are finding this action seems to help. The person best equipped to help you discover why you do this may be a psychologist. Of course this would mean your parents would have to know so you can go through the proper channels and get those appointments. I am guessing that you have kept this secret from everyone who knows you. If You continue to do this in secret, you for sure will get no answers. If you can become brave enough to ask for help in discovering why...then maybe a solution can be found, but it may take a long time, and even then I can't promise that the professionals can even discover the root cause and be able to offer a solution. But my vote is for asking for help from professionals.
I have a crush on this guy.He's 19.He likes me but just as a friend , not even a close friend.i always have to knock him and he replies with short answers and sometimes he doesn't even reply.I told him that i like him and all he said was "aww".i also asked him "why don't you feel the way I feel about you?" and he told me that "You're a kid". But guys older then him asked me out , why does he feel that way?I mean I want him very badly.Don't know what to do :(
It is a fact of life that just because one person is attracted to, the other doesn't automatically feel the same.
You didn't mention your age, but I am guessing that him mentioning that you were just a kid is not the real reason. Since age of consent in the UK is 16, even if you were at least 16, you'd be legal if he got to the point of wanting a girlfriend to be sexual with.
So being too young and anything else he says is not going to be his true answer or lets say, the one you need to hear because he is only 19 himself and inexperienced in how to answer you without hurting your feelings. He hasn't a clue what to say, or how to say it to convey the truth without hurting your feelings.
Its a tricky situation for him and there is no easy way. Honesty being the best policy is the best choice here. Although, if he did say to you, "Thanks, I am very flattered that you have feelings for me, but I do not have the same feelings in return. Its not that you aren't pretty, I just don't feel any chemistry with you. You deserve a guy who returns the same feelings for you that you have for him. You just haven't met him yet. And I am not that guy, no matter how strongly you feel I am."
That would be a good response from him. However if he said that, would it make any difference? Would you stop following him to talk to him, knocking him up? If he told you that, it wouldnt magically make your feelings for him disappear instantly, that will take time.
As far as I can see, he is not doing anything to encourage you and give you false hope, he doesn't even engage in conversation with you, giving short answers or non at all. He's hoping you'll pick up the signs through his actions of disinterest but I guess that didn't work.
Other guys even older are asking you out. Are you attracted to them? If you don't find all of them attractive enough, you have no feelings towards them....its the same situation in reverse. The guys are attracted or have feelings for you but you don't feel the same about all of them.
Do you see now that a possibility exists that not just one guy might like you that you dont like back, but many guys could like you all at the same time. When I went on a dating site after my divorce, in my forties, I discovered I was a hot commodity. I had guys begging me to give them a chance and at least go on one date with them. When I first put the ad up, I had over 200 hits overnight and thats not to mention the messages I got daily throughout the year thereafter. If I were to give each guy who was attracted to me,a chance for only one date in a years time, I figured I might be hard pressed to find enough days in the year to do so. There is no way I was going to be attracted enough to try meeting all of them in person. I met maybe 2 dozen guys once in person at a coffee shop, had a few dates with three but in the process discovered enough from meeting in person that either there was no chemistry, no attraction even though they were handsome, or I was attracted enough to date and discovered some negative behavior from the guy by the 3rd date or so that I wouldnt tolerate in a relationship and stopped seeing him immediately. So basically, out of hundreds of guys, I finally found one where both of us had feelings for each other and we are now happily married.
You are a teen, you will have to go through many relationships to learn what it is you like and don't like, beyond initial attraction. Dating and attraction is a process you will need to go through to discover who really makes the best boyfriend and for later, life partner. Attraction to a person can be very misleading to you. I found it was for me. What I was attracted to in guys to start wasn't enough to keep me interested once I got to know a guy better. That is what dating is about, just for your information for later.
Okay, this is bizarre. 26/f. And this will be long. I'm just curious as to what people make of all this.
I've had kind of a spiritual/intellectual crush on Loki the Norse trickster god since before the lovely Mr. Hiddleston embodied him. Loki has been a part of my life for a very long time. I was raised Jewish... which never really sat right with me.
For months now, Loki has been in my dreams so frequently it's become strange when I do not see him in my sleep. Not to mention, I am notorious among my friends as an insomniac plagued by nightly nightmares (which caused a sleep-phobia to develop). Ever since Loki has begun to appear in my sleep, the nightmares have stopped. Completely stopped. And now I look forward to closing my eyes.
There's continuity in the dreams. We speak, we kiss, we hug, it started with a dance; we reference other dreams/experiences we've had together, and... given the nature of our relationship and, er, relations, I've ruled out that he is simply a guardian. Sorry if this is TMI, but I also haven't had sex dreams involving anyone else since him...
When I was little, I used to have dreams about a massive wolf from whom I always ran. This was from before I knew about the myths. More recently, we were strolling through an autumn colored forest, (in a dream) he stopped walking, and I was face to face with the wolf from my nightmares. This time instead of running from the wolf I knelt and bowed my head to him until he started nosing me to be petted. And it occurred to me that if Fenrir wanted to catch me before, he could have. He wasn't chasing me, he was following me. HE feels like a guardian. He's appeared and led me to Loki more than once in my sleep.
I had a dream about a massive blue snake whose single eye was bigger than my body, but I wasn't afraid of him. Loki was nearby. I also believe I've met Hel, who was not kind at all. She actually scared the hell out of me (ha, I accidentally a pun), but she did nothing to hurt me. Loki was just out of my line of vision, and I don't think he would've let her hurt me. So it would appear I've met the Big Three kids - not Sleipnir though.
I couldn't even begin to describe to you how much intimacy there is between my dream self and Loki. These dreams are so vivid I know what he smells like; tastes like, sounds like, feels like... sometimes I have trouble figuring out whether I'm awake or asleep, even if he's there. I heal; he's taught me tricks in my dreams that WORK in real life, and every time we play with my "abilities" I wake up feeling like I got hit by a truck. Personality-wise, we balance each other out extremely well, and he's always a comforting presence. Playful, but comforting.
I'm not even sure what I'm asking.
Spiritual people, any thoughts? If a girl wanted to pay homage to Loki in a neo-pagan type of way, how might she do that exactly...?
Thanks to anyone who has anything to say!
When we are dreaming, its usually our subconscious mind with all our feelings and emotions that is at the surface and of course our conscious mind is restig, unaware of what is going on. So perhaps there is a need in your subconscious, which I also consider our inner child, that needs to be experienced or things that need to be totally worked out which for some reason can't be as well, in the awake world. I do believe in spirit guides, personal angels and spirits of those I've known in past lives that came to me at a time I was going through something tough alone before i met my 2nd husband. I had extensive conversation though with such entities while totally awake and not asleep, not able to see them but sense and feel their presence and touch and get encouragement in conversation. It sounds crazy to most, but there is so much we don't know about the realm beyond what we can see in our dimension, our reality, who knows what is possible in the spiritual plane. I do believe we also have a creator who is very much interested in our spiritual growth and will use whatever venue works with us for where our minds are at , at the time, what we can best relate to. God has used interesting things to teach me something, talking in a style of speech using examples and experiences I could relate to at the time, and once I made a spiritual leap, how I got contact and what type from the spiritual realm changed too to meet me at where I just evolved to in my beliefs.
As long as you feel it is profitable to you and what you experience and are learning is of no harm to yourself and will not cause you to harm any others inadvertantly, then there shouldn't be any concern. As far as paying homage to, I advise caution. Paying homage to me means the same as what the dictionary says, worship, paying tribute to, placing on a pedestal, etc.... Even in a relationship with a live man, there is something wrong and out of balance when we begin to pay homage to someone in a relationship. Usually it means giving away your own power and making the other greater than yourself in your eyes. ITs not a healthy way to relate. Did you ever worship and bow down to your parents? Likely not. The strongest thing we might feel is best described as deep love and wanting to show that love in the best way possible, by emulating them, that is the greatest honor a parent could get. Christians talk of fearing God and worshiping him. God does not have a problem with who he/she is. We can call God any name we want. God is not offended if he/she as the infinate, eternal and absolute is not recognized by a soul and one of his/her creations, spiritual beings that are God like are recognized instead...beings made also in Gods' image (like us) and being endowed with certain powers as are the angels. There are many such entities that may be what a human had the opportunity to experience in history in such a way that humans named them or they gave us their names, and we wrote stories about them. Since you speak of Gods of Norse mythology, perhaps in a past life you lived as a Norse person so your soul responds best to Gods who come to you looking like that. There is also Greek mythology and the fairy tales of so many different countries that all talk of creature most of us cant see, but like angels, just because we cant see or experience them doesnt mean they don't exist. In the spiritual realm, the fallen angels still roam on earth looking to mislead innocent souls. If such a creature was posing as a God or a good angel or spirit guide, etc... and required you to pay homage and bow down to him/her, then this is not a creature to associate with any longer. If your Loki ever slowly redirects you to doing things that don't seem right in your gut instinct, seems negative in any way, then stop it right there and you may need to call on your guardian angel to come manifest instead in your dreams to keep any such entity from messing with you again. If this is a good entity, working with you for your personal and spiritual growth in this life, then the biggest compliment you can do is to copy they positive traits and learn and do as they do.
Hey,
15/f
I have known this guy since I was a little girl. I guess were friends. Now were in Highschool, these feelings have come up. But he's kind of popular now and I think he likes one of the pretty girls in my year...
I really like him but I'm scared of rejection.
There is always a chance for rejection in the dating realm. One person is attracted to someone but the person they are attracted to doesnt feel any initial romantic attraction in return. So instead of walking up and asking someone out, you need to look for signs first that the person is comfortable with you or attracted to you. He may be looking at a pretty girl because she stands out more because of personality, more confident and sure of herself, friendlier and more outgoing than most the girls.
So you will be looking for body language. If you've known him all your life, how much time as kids did you spend together as friends? If he was comfortable enough to hang out with you then, there must be something he likes about you.
Find a reason to approach him and start conversation with him. Stand close.. close enough to be in arms reach. If he is uncomfortable being that close to you, he will step away to create space betweeen you. This is something all peoples subconscious minds do when someone they dont like or arent attracted to are in their personal space. And likely they aren't consciously aware of what they do...but you can be looking for it. Another thing people do when they are attracted to someone they like in mimic their moves, its called mirroring. If you bring your hand to your face to scratch an itch or rub an eye, he will touch his face somewhere too, like maybe scratch his chin, if you cross your legs, he may reposition his legs, not exactly the same way but does it right after you did. So look for that. If he leans in towards you wether standing or sitting while talking, this shows attraction too. Greeting someone you like with smiles and saying hello and asking about their day or a class shows a level of interest. If he doesnt do it with you, do it with him and see if he responds. Perhaps if you've only just been friends until high school, he hasn't made a switch to start thinking of you as anything other than just the friend he's always known. If he is popular, perhaps he's overcome shyness and become outgoing. If he has totally immersed himself in hanging with the popular kids and pays you no attention at all, even if you try to talk to him, then perhaps he is more into experiencing popularity and superficial things rather than having real friends with real meaningful friendships. Do what you can to gauge his level of interest in return. Guys at this age will look at practically any girl, its a male response, but its where their heart lies that matters. So just cus he's looking at another girl doesnt mean he is off limits, only if he is dating her right now.
You didnt have feelings for him before because the hormones of puberty hadn't hit full force yet. These changes in your body is what is making you aware of him in a different way. It is natural to go with what you know the best and are most familiar and comfortable with such as a person you knew growing up. But don't go after him just because its a less scary prospect than going after another guy you find attractive. Or, look for signals such as I mentioned from other guys that they have interest in you. And if your guy doesnt pay you any attention, then get your feet wet, getting used to dating by accepting an offer of someone else who likes you who finds you you attractive. Dating is all about learning what you like and dont like about a guy. So if you do get asked out, make it clear that you are attracted but don't know if you will really like him enough, like have enough in common for you to start really liking him. So you are not commiting to be his girlfriend yet, you are dating guys to find out more to see if you're not just attracted but really end up liking him. That way, the guy knows you arent desperate and he has to behave his best because you might date around until you decide. This way you are not locked in to one guy by a promise. I hear from so many girls who get the guy she wants and then another comes along that she discovers she wants to date too cus she's attracted even more to the second one. Guys are not like girls, most can handle a girl not commiting to be a girlfriend right off the bat and dating other guys too. The few who cant and get jealous are guys you dont want to ever be in relationship with, they are trouble. The other things most guys wont want is a girl who says yes, she want to be a couple and date him and dumps him as soon as the next guy asks her out so that she can go out with him and not be cheating on him. Thats when dating lasts days, weeks or maybe a few months before a breakup.
Work on your self confidence. It speaks louder than looks. I don't look like an airbrushed model but guys fall all over themselves to be in my presense because of my Self confidence. How do you get there? You borrow it from an actress your age that you admire, maybe you share one facial or body feature, or personality trait. Even if you don't, picture your self being able to super impose her looks and confident outgoing style over your self and do this over and over as you walk into any public place. take the time to close your eyes and see yourself looking like here, moving acting and catching attention like her. It really works. I did this when I was dating again after 30 years of marriage. I imagined myself as an actress who has similar eyes and I got lots of peoples attention, not just men but women began commenting on my eyes, even strangers. I was plainly shocked not expecting such a response...but confidence of your own comes from this kind of experience. Once I experienced it a coupled of times imagining me as the actress, I totally forgot about it and was comfortable being myself in a more confidant way.
Good luck dear.
15/F
Hey. So I have UTI and I tried to say nothing but I can't take it anymore! It is sooo irritating! I have to pee the whole time! So yesterday I told my mom and she said I will go and check if I have sometimg (after she screamed at me and told me I'm to flirty with my nephew! I mwan he's my nephew!) But she never went.... And I'm not gonna remind her again.
Any help
Hon, if your mother isnt being a help, you might want to go see Planned Parenthood, they will handle things related to your private parts, not just pregnancies and prevention of. As Razhie says, a UTI is a serious condition if left untreated, the longer you let it go, the more serious it can get.
While sometimes a girl can get a UTI from having sex, there are other ways to get it too. One being wiping herself incorrectly after a bowel movement. The correct way is from front to back, not the other way. Even if you take care to wipe correctly, I have found the majority of UTIs i got was recently after having bouts of diarrhea. My guess is that it being so runny and explosive (sorry about having to be graphic) that some of the germs still get near the vagina or pee hole. I have since started a custom of using a warm wet washcloth to wash well down there after wiping my best with TP after diarrhea and never again got it from that.
Another way to get one is simply to be too low on fluids. You are not drinking enough water so the natural germs in the pee don't have a chance to be flushed out with a full load of pee and just sit at the bottom of the bladder and begin to breed germs. So drinking plenty fluids is a good way to prevent this cause of it.
As for the sex part/for future reference, it is recommended that a girl have a good orgasm or two before the man enters her because it will close down a valve in the urethra that would otherwise be open allowing any possible germs that might be around to be allowed access to the bladder. Another good precaution is to urinate right after sex.
In the future, if you think you feel that funny urge to go when you've just peed, the first time you feel it, don't wait...start drinking cranberry juice. Naturopathic docs know this works to get rid of it in the early stages. However you may not be that familiar with signs from your body yet so I don't recommend relying on this only. Start drinking it, a gallon a day. If caught early enough, it can be cured naturally by as early as 48 hrs for some people or in 3 days time. Set an appt with the doctor anyhow just in case and go in. If the cranberry had time to work, they won't find any sign of UTI.
it started out my boyfriend bought condoms from a store he them came to my house and we had sex a few days later i had cuts and bumps down there! And i went to the doctor and im waiting on test results but i had to tell my mom i had sex she was mad but said not to tell my dad so i didnt but in the same week my boyfriends parents found out and made me tell my dad and now i cant see my boyfriend and honestly are year is in one day i love him and dont know what to do help me please
If you are under legal age and still living under your parents roof, what they say goes and you will have to comply. Depending on what country or what state you live in, the legal age of consent for sex can vary a bit, for most it is 18 but it can be as early as 16 in the US. If you are of the age of consent, but live under parents roof and are financially supported by them, fair or not, their rules take precedence in their house. It doesnt help when you have feelings for a boyfriend and can't see him. Life is hard sometimes. Would you be allowed to Skype or chat on computer or send him mail, on FB, instagram or email? It might be your only way to have contact with him? Check with the parents.
As for cuts and bumps, condoms do not cut skin, only sharp objects, even edges of fingernails can. I am guessing that most likely you were dry and the condom dry and no lubrication was used, or not enough, so there was some dragging and pulling on the tender skin down there which caused some tears...thats nothing to worry about, can happen from time to time with couples who've been together for years, and it heals fine on its own. Its something small like paper cuts on the finger. The bumps could indicate an allergic reaction, like a rash to the latex of the condom. If you have latex allergies and experience this again once you are of age and on your own, then please don't use condoms for birth control but get on the pill instead.
What does it mean when a woman's says don't play me
It doesnt matter who is saying it, male or female each will mean something that is a little differeent from the next person saying it. So it is best to ask for clarification as to what she meant by it. In general "Don't play with me" has some of these meanings:
Dont play with someones heart if you have no intentions for a serious relationship
Don't play mind games or lie, be straight up honest and not hide things. I'm not an idiot so dont play me like a fool.
Don't play cat and mouse with me. This is when somehow you're letting off vibes or certain signs that you get into the chase of a person like a cat does with a mouse, but your intentions in the end are one sided, only in the benefits to you, the fun, the thrill for you, not the welfare or the best for the girl.
I could post a few more. But as you can see, something is setting off the warning bells in her, whether she has good reason to sense something, or even if your words, behavior, actions have somehow, unintentionally mislead her.
This brings an initial distrust between you and she will not relax and begin to trust until you can prove by your behavior consistantly who you are at core, and that she has nothing to fear.
So to know what exactly she is concerned about, might be a good thing for you to find out if your intentions are truly pure which I believe they likely are, for if they weren't you wouldnt bother to write in here to ask.
She may be jaded by past experiences with guys and you must understand she has every right to be more careful this time around. She may not do so in the best way...just do not take personal offense to what she says, be patient if you really care about her or getting to know her and show her in time that not all guys are bad.
Hi, I am a teenage girl. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for a year and we really like each other. This other guy and I have been friends for a while now, and I've always had a thing for him, but it was just here recently he told me he had feelings for me. I'm really confused. My boyfriend can be really nice to me sometimes, but he kind of has the tendency to control me, but there is just something about my boyfriend that makes me stay with him. My guy friend is really sweet to me, but I want to be with him. I don't know what I should do. Which one should I go with?
The way you describe both guys, it seems you have already figured out who treats you better, boy number two who is really sweet, and whom you've always been attracted to and whom you want to be with.
It would seem simple to say, then just break up with guy number one, you already have found out thru dating him some things about him that do not make your relationship with him the most healthy and rewarding one....like being controling and only being nice 'sometimes' instead of the state of being nice being a part of who he is at core and always will be. If he can't be consistantly nice in how he treats you, well I'm sure you can feel it, your gut instinct is telling you that something is Off, somethings not right.
So the only thing that really is confusing to you is there being something that makes you want to stay. I can only guess here what it might be. Many females have a strong nurturing instinct that makes them want to help or 'fix' a person who is not perfect, that way they feel more needed and it satisfies their need to nurture. Nurturing will not change someone who doesnt want to change. All teen boys start off dating totally inexperienced in how to treat others in a relationship and learn as they go and so they can unintentionally make mistakes, but if you are seeing a pattern this early on in his life, it is most likely to continue unless he see's a life coach or a counselor of some sort. Most controlling people have emotional problems and some can even have a slight undiagnosed form of mental illness as my 1st husband had.
The other thing that could be confusing you is the feelings you developed for him, those emotional ties that can form, even if the person is not treating you well. These feelings come from your subconscious mind and have a tendancy to override the better judgement of your conscious mind that is saying. The fact that your relationship has been on and off again several times over the year are a warning sign to me. I know that most relationships are going to have problems and a couple disagrees, gets angry at each other or needs to apologize and so there can be a difficult day or two while they work things out, but part of learning to become mature in relationships is to continue to work at doing better the next time and it shouldn't go to the extreme of breaking up each time because a compromise wasn't met, and getting together once the anger has cooled off only to break up again over the same issues again. Thats a warning something is not working right here and there shouldn't be so much on and off again stuff going on.
If you do break up with him, in time you'll find that your emotional connection to him will heal from the parting with him. With what i've experienced in life, if it were my choice, I'd go for number two.
Dating is not only to have fun and enjoy socializing but to learn more about the person to see if the feelings they say they have for you jive with any actions involving you. Words are cheap, but actions and treatment of a person ring more true.
Heres a thought, would you continue to hang out with a girlfriend who exhibited abusive behavior towards you, waffles back and forth between being nice one day and treating you like crap and talking behind your back, or blaming you for something the next day, and she is always telling you what the plan is and wont give you a choice, she puts up a fuss/gets angry if something doesnt go according to her plan, she won't let you make any choices and get upset when you try to. No you would not, at least, not after some time...cus you'd get tired of it. The friendship is going no where. Who needs that for a so called friend. And its easy to stop being her friend because there is no romantic tie to her as with a relationship with a guy.
The guy should also be just as good a friend if not better than your best female friends but there is the added benefit of the physical, emotional and mental attraction to each other, that spark and romance.
Too often we focus only on the romance part and forget to look at the friendship part, are you being treated like a best friend...unconditional love for another human being comes into this picture...if not...you truly know deep down you are with the wrong person.
Hope this helps you sort it out.
I am a 25 year old female who is trying to get a job at the local Good will that just opened in my town and I got a phone call from Goodwill today telling me that there's a Job fair coming up on the January 28th at the end of the month and I don't know exactly what a Job fair actually is . I also want to know do I have to dress a certain way for the fair and if so what are the requirements of how i am suppose to dress ? I also wanted to know since I receive SSI Income for disabilits even though Goodwill is an organazation where it is there mission statment to help people with disabilities get jobs if I have to report to Social Security that i am working even though working at Good Will isn't suppose affect my income is there a possible chance of Social Secrety decreasing my income since I am working . Thanks for everyone's help .
I used to be a caregiver of a disabled gal. There was an agency in her part of the state that helped place disabled people in jobs and took care of making sure they did not work any more hours than Social security allowed, and that the job was appropriate for them mentally, and or physically. There must be some agencies with advocates for the disabled that you are in touch with and you can ask them to refer you to someone to help you land a job.
A job fair may work for some people especially for those with graduate degrees for one position a company is trying to fill or a company who has to fill several positions where no skills or education are needed. A large hall is rented and booths set up, like going through craft booths at the county fair. If this is the only job you want to try for, then going to the fair is not necessary as far as I can see. You should be able to hand in a job application to Goodwill without going to the fair. If they say thats the only place they will be accepting a job app, then you will need to go, find their booth and apply there. It may work better for you to have someone rooting for you and approaching Good will to talk to them about you, besides them having a resume, to get a job. I dressed up in what I guess is best described as wearing 'your Sunday best' because I did not own the female version of a business suit. I saw people dressed up and others dressed casual because the hundreds of people walking through the fair were looking for different types of jobs, some casual, some where uniforms would need to be worn and others where business attire was a must. Its a big mix of all sort of employers. The employers who took my name and number and promised to call to set up an appt to interview me at their office. They didnt call, but I called them repeatedly and never got an interview. My experience was a waste of time. Your job fair may be a good place to go. With as high as unemployment is, its sure to be flooded by people trying to find work. Do try to find a job advocate for the disabled as soon as you can to work with you on getting either that job or the next best opportunity.
I think the disabled can have an edge on those who aren't because they can not work too many hours, whereas others are looking for full time work and cant survive on and accept a part time position. Good luck dear.
Hi guys, I am 13 and domt know how to highlight my features. I do care about my appearance but I always just kinda wore what everyone else wore and now it looks really odd because I grow slower than everyone else. So I am short 4 ft 6 and 64 pounds( dont expect you to know exactly what I look like just tring to give you an image. I have short muscular legs, small bust, broad shoulders, and thin, feminine arms. I have a long nose, hazel eyes that people say looks eager and happy, minimum acne but still some, white straight teeth, and curly dirty blond hair. What would best highlight these features? Thx!!!!!!
Since you are a shorter girl, your goal is most likely to give the illusion of length. This can be done by tricking the eye using certain fashion techniques. A optical trick that makes the eye think there is more height is using darker colors for one, or making sure both your top and skirt or pants are the same color, because use of two different colors cut you off at the middle as far as the eye traveling over you. Avoid anything that would make you appear broader/wider such as horizontal lines, stripes or bulky fluffy ruffles, etc.. that will only give the pumpkin effect instead of giving the sleek vertical look.
I did a search for actresses 5 ft or under to do a comparison and see what they wore. It seems a good majority don't follow the fashion rules that help them appear taller. So really, in the end, just wear what you like, pay attention to what colors style etc... you are wearing when you get the most compliments from people. You might even try asking if its the color or the style they like or what.
Well, let us start out with some details/background information. I am a few weeks away from being 16 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been together for a while and I love the kid to death. It's safe to say that even if we did break up; we'd be the best of friends after the fact.
I'm going to be moving somewhere an hour and a half away, he was going to move with my guardian and myself. But he has a lot in this town and we've collectively last night decided it'd be in his best interest to stay here. It was a bit upsetting. I know it doesn't seem like much only moving an hour or so away; but he's starting college, working, and he's in a well known band doing shows all over. I'll be in school for a longer period of time and going to college while in high school along with a job. We'll never really have the time to see each other at all. In all honesty I don't know what posting this will do. But I'm at a loss as to what I should do? I don't even know if it's that. Any advice?
My second husbands daughter was going to high school while taking entry level course at college at same time and she had some time for friends, but not too much. Only difference, she did not have a job by choice so more time could be focused on school. We witnessed a certain level of stress just with how hard she was on herself but she wouldnt think of anything else and there was no boyfriend at that time. And it sounds like your boyfriend also will have his hands full with school, job and band gigs and practice. I understand why its best he stays put but not what the reason is that you need to move. Is it job related for the guardian? If not, is there any way they could stay for two more years where you are until you turn 18? But even then, with the schedules you two have, I dont see where there would be time to see each other. Perhaps making the trip to go watch his band perform but that is just an occasional thing. You can always keep in touch easiest between places you need to be, be using the computer, FB, instagram or seeing him on cam on Skype. Make sure to put school first but talk to your Guardian about necessity of move or if any visits can be done on weekends where both of you have time to see each other. And perhaps your guardian also will have friends to go visit at the same time. If your guardian knows your boyfriend that well that he was welcome to move with you, I am sure they will understand the need for occasional visits and be willing to do so. Otherwise, last possibility is the boyfriend gives this a try and finds its too hard for him to be away and he'd rather take you all up on the offer to move to where you are and transfer college at a later date. He could probably find another job but it may come down to having to give up the band to be near you.
Blessings to you this year.
i have this white stuff in my underwear.. what is it?! kthnxbye
I will assume you are a female since a guy would know if there was anything in his underwear, it's likely due to precum or he came in his shorts.
So for a female, the vagina is its own little ecosystem and has its own way of cleansing itself and this is always on going, on a daily basis.
Females wiThere is good bacteria and bad bacteria, and ll find this liquid, either still sticky and gooey at the crotch part of t heir panty, or dried on with anywhere from a white powder to a thicker crusty layer that when dry can break off in crumbs. This is perfectly normal. You will see this anytime that you are not having your period.
The only time to have any concern in which case you most likely itch, are sore or detect a foul odor (like something rotting)along with the secretion. It can range from a cottage cheese lumpy consistancy, to the same as your natural cleansing liquid, however with the bad odor. If you believe you may have yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, go see a dr. Due to privacy laws, they cannot share any information that you
have seen them and what for. This is kept confidential. If going to a family Dr isn't an option, go to Planned Parenthood.They can help.
Someone in my school snitched on me. They told my guidance Counsler that I smoke weed. That they have picks of me possessing weed. Post where I said who's out to smoke? Thy called a meeting up for my mom. I know I feel stupid. I know it's someone who hates me because my friends would never do that to me tey smoke as well. I'm 100 percent positive it's someone that I have stuff on too I just need to know who it is. But will they keep that person anonymous ? I don't sell or posses right now . So how much trouble can I get in ?
I really wouldnt know what kind of trouble you might get in. Probably depends a lot on what penalties your school issues for this offense. Different schools may handle things slightly differently. Either wPerhaps a warnay, I am sure they will see smoking weed at the very least as having an affect on your ability to concentrate and do your best in school to learn and pass grades, or you may get detention or kicked out of school for a while. I don't know what city laws or state laws there may be that influence what measures will be taken with you. I suppose you will have to wait and see. Best policy at this point is to just be honest. Try to hide or lie and that may come back to bite you as well.
im asking this to Dragonflymagic i read answers to my questions from the sites owner Dangernerd and when he recived them he told me that i should apologize to MissyMeliss for asking her attack questions and also i have posted apology questions to MissyMeliss and i would like to know if she has recived them or not so you have them post me some links
You're asking the wrong person dear. You need to go to the column of advice columnist MissyMeliss and where you can click to send a question, just ask her to please respond and let you know that she did receive your apology. Any questions sent like you just sent to me have two buttons, respond to question or ignore. I dont ignore, I just let people know if I can't answer cus I dont know the answer.
As far as I know, there are no issues with how this part of the system works. If someone goes to an advice givers column and sends a message from there, the advice giver will get it. Messages have not been lost to my knowledge.
Hi there, im 18 and 2 weeks ago i had unprotected sex with my bf. He came in me but the next day i got my period, at the ryt time.It was completely normal so I didnt bother to get the emergency contraceptive...
Its been a week since my period and for the past two days ive been cramping a lot, more than my usual period pains. My lower back is also sore and i keep getting spasms all over my back... I am a weed and cigarette smoker daily and i dnt drink but this past weeks in December ive had a couple. (it will only take 3 cups for me to get drunk anyway).
So today im bleeding again, its just as heavy as my period, I am 100% sure it is not just spotting. Ive googled the symptoms nd i have both pregnancy and miscarriage symptoms. I dont wana get a test now cos its still a bit too early.
Is there any way you can give me clarity, i feel like this isnt normal for pregnancy, do you think ive miscarried/ destryd the thing already???
Hi dear,
It's mostly likely that since the period came, that you are not pregnant.
However the fact that you are bleeding heavier and that you are having stronger pains than usual may be pointing to abnormalitys in your cycle. For instance, heavier bleeding can be a sign of Polycystic Ovary syndrome, and the extreme higher pain levels can be a sign of Endometriosis.
Anything abnormal about your period, what is real different from your regular periods should be reported to your gynecologist. If you haven't seen one yet, depending on your circumstances, if on family insurance and you want to go through that avenue, do so. An abnormal period is not related in any way to having sex. Your parents wont know unless you tell them. Your doctor must keep any info regarding your care for anything, including female problems, confidential, it is the law. So if you can't see a family doctor, go to Planned Parenthood or the local womens clinic to be seen. This article attached goes into a little more detail and says to go see your doctor. Don't assume everythings fine. By ignoring it, problems could escalate.
http://www.healthyimmunity.com/books/An-A-Z-Woman-s-Guide-to-Vibrant-Health/Menstrual-Abnormalities.asp