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I want to ask out my crush, but don't want to embarras myself!
Hey,
15/f
I have known this guy since I was a little girl. I guess were friends. Now were in Highschool, these feelings have come up. But he's kind of popular now and I think he likes one of the pretty girls in my year...
I really like him but I'm scared of rejection.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
There is always a chance for rejection in the dating realm. One person is attracted to someone but the person they are attracted to doesnt feel any initial romantic attraction in return. So instead of walking up and asking someone out, you need to look for signs first that the person is comfortable with you or attracted to you. He may be looking at a pretty girl because she stands out more because of personality, more confident and sure of herself, friendlier and more outgoing than most the girls.
So you will be looking for body language. If you've known him all your life, how much time as kids did you spend together as friends? If he was comfortable enough to hang out with you then, there must be something he likes about you.
Find a reason to approach him and start conversation with him. Stand close.. close enough to be in arms reach. If he is uncomfortable being that close to you, he will step away to create space betweeen you. This is something all peoples subconscious minds do when someone they dont like or arent attracted to are in their personal space. And likely they aren't consciously aware of what they do...but you can be looking for it. Another thing people do when they are attracted to someone they like in mimic their moves, its called mirroring. If you bring your hand to your face to scratch an itch or rub an eye, he will touch his face somewhere too, like maybe scratch his chin, if you cross your legs, he may reposition his legs, not exactly the same way but does it right after you did. So look for that. If he leans in towards you wether standing or sitting while talking, this shows attraction too. Greeting someone you like with smiles and saying hello and asking about their day or a class shows a level of interest. If he doesnt do it with you, do it with him and see if he responds. Perhaps if you've only just been friends until high school, he hasn't made a switch to start thinking of you as anything other than just the friend he's always known. If he is popular, perhaps he's overcome shyness and become outgoing. If he has totally immersed himself in hanging with the popular kids and pays you no attention at all, even if you try to talk to him, then perhaps he is more into experiencing popularity and superficial things rather than having real friends with real meaningful friendships. Do what you can to gauge his level of interest in return. Guys at this age will look at practically any girl, its a male response, but its where their heart lies that matters. So just cus he's looking at another girl doesnt mean he is off limits, only if he is dating her right now.
You didnt have feelings for him before because the hormones of puberty hadn't hit full force yet. These changes in your body is what is making you aware of him in a different way. It is natural to go with what you know the best and are most familiar and comfortable with such as a person you knew growing up. But don't go after him just because its a less scary prospect than going after another guy you find attractive. Or, look for signals such as I mentioned from other guys that they have interest in you. And if your guy doesnt pay you any attention, then get your feet wet, getting used to dating by accepting an offer of someone else who likes you who finds you you attractive. Dating is all about learning what you like and dont like about a guy. So if you do get asked out, make it clear that you are attracted but don't know if you will really like him enough, like have enough in common for you to start really liking him. So you are not commiting to be his girlfriend yet, you are dating guys to find out more to see if you're not just attracted but really end up liking him. That way, the guy knows you arent desperate and he has to behave his best because you might date around until you decide. This way you are not locked in to one guy by a promise. I hear from so many girls who get the guy she wants and then another comes along that she discovers she wants to date too cus she's attracted even more to the second one. Guys are not like girls, most can handle a girl not commiting to be a girlfriend right off the bat and dating other guys too. The few who cant and get jealous are guys you dont want to ever be in relationship with, they are trouble. The other things most guys wont want is a girl who says yes, she want to be a couple and date him and dumps him as soon as the next guy asks her out so that she can go out with him and not be cheating on him. Thats when dating lasts days, weeks or maybe a few months before a breakup.
Work on your self confidence. It speaks louder than looks. I don't look like an airbrushed model but guys fall all over themselves to be in my presense because of my Self confidence. How do you get there? You borrow it from an actress your age that you admire, maybe you share one facial or body feature, or personality trait. Even if you don't, picture your self being able to super impose her looks and confident outgoing style over your self and do this over and over as you walk into any public place. take the time to close your eyes and see yourself looking like here, moving acting and catching attention like her. It really works. I did this when I was dating again after 30 years of marriage. I imagined myself as an actress who has similar eyes and I got lots of peoples attention, not just men but women began commenting on my eyes, even strangers. I was plainly shocked not expecting such a response...but confidence of your own comes from this kind of experience. Once I experienced it a coupled of times imagining me as the actress, I totally forgot about it and was comfortable being myself in a more confidant way.
Good luck dear.
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