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Why do my mom keep reading my diary
Hello 15/F*
My mom keeps reading my diary! I try to hide it but she is allways snooping around!! I write EVERYTHING °̩n there because that's the way I express my feelings. I don't act weird I'm allways bubbly, but I have my down days. Why does she keep reading it. And any good ideas where to hide it? I can't hide it °̩n my matress or pillow. So any other ideas? ThxX lvj! XxX
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I can't really tell you why she keeps reading it. She most likely just wants to know what's going on or she doesn't trust you.
I think you should sit down and have a conversation with her. Let her know you don't want her to read your diary and you'd like to have privacy where you can express your feelings.
I wouldn't know any other places to hide a diary. I'd suggest using an online diary or online journal, there are tons of sites. She wouldn't be able to get on there because she'd need the username and password.
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Why your mom reads your diary is a tough question to answer since I do not know her. As a parent myself I can only give you a generic answer to your question.
You are probably thinking mom reads your diary because she does not trust you. This may or may not be true. Teenagers are famous for not communicating with their parents and we were not different when we were teenagers.
As a teenager the feeling is we are no longer children though we are not truly adults either. Still we fill we have a right to be treated more like adults than children. Some parents are better at this than others and find way of finding out what their children are up to both in school and out. This is easier in a small town than in a large urban area.
If I can remember back when my so was your age. A typical conversation went something like this. "How was your day?" "Okay." "Anything happen in school." "Have much home work" "about the same, call me when dinners ready."
Really not a lot to go on to see if everything is okay with him. What he is doing during the day. How he feels about things. One of the longest conversations we ever had was one where he wanted me to sign papers for a delayed enlistment in the Army. He would actually be in the Army while in the last year of High School. That needed explaining.
My thought is that mom if she is open about reading your diary is not snooping as much as she is trying to find out what your day is like and how you feel about things. Things you are telling your diary that she might like to know. Things she my need to know as a parent that you are not telling her. Things you will want to know about your daughter when you're a mom.
My advice is to be more open with mom about things. IF mom feels you are giving her the type of information she need to know as a parent then maybe she will stop trying to read your diary. One thing for sure is there is no place you can hide your diary that she did not try to hide her diary from her mom. So where ever you try she will eventually find it.
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Moms just wants to know what's going on with you and doesn't believe you'll tell her the important stuff. If you have a private locker at school, keep it there. You could also put it in the sleeve of a coat or jacket that hangs in your closet, but doesn't get worn often. In the meantime, let your mom in on a few important things. When she handles them well, tell her you like how she handled it and you'll probably tell her other things. When she doesn't handle it well tell her she's making it hard for you to talk to her. AND let her know that you don't understand why she doesn't trust you to manage some thoughts and feelings on your own. Tell her you may not always tell her, but you remember her advice on how to live and use it more than she thinks.
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I used to have this problem as well. I think parents just like to keep updated on how their kids feel. Do you talk to your mom about your personal life? She may be snooping around because she feels like she doesn't know much and is trying to find out for herself. You should talk to her about how you feel. Don't get mad, just tell her you know she's been taking it and you'd like to talk about why she reads something private. If it doesn't stop, I suggest you keep an online diary. Either on Microsoft word or online notepads or free diary websites. It won't be exactly the same experience but it will be nice to not have to worry about her reading something so private. Overall, I suggest you talk to her first. I'm sure she doesn't mean to anger you, mothers like to feel involved. So maybe talking to her more frequently about your personal life will help fulfill her curiosity.. It's worth a try!
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Does mom do this openly or sneak and do it and get caught? Does she tell you what she read and ask about it? It is not right for mom to not give you the same respect and courtesy as she would her best friend or a co-worker. To be caught snooping through a friends bedroom drawers or through her purse is wrong and disrespectful.
My first question on reading this was to wonder if you and mom ever talk much and have meaningful conversation. Sometimes when teens begin to learn to make their own choices, choose their own friends, and past times, they end up getting all their socializing needs taken care of with other teens and siblings or parents get left out. Where there was once lots of talking and communicating is no longer there. You may not have realized if this is what happened. As a mom, when my daughters were teens, if they suddenly stopped wanting to take time to talk with me and that kept on with any attempts from me to get them to just talk to me and share about school or their friends, I would think something may be wrong that they are attempting to hide. Parents had to develope an instinct when kids were little. the moment a child is playing and then it gets really quiet and you can't hear them anymore in another room, a parent knows to investigate because thats usually the moment the child has gotten a hold of scissors and is attempting to cut their own hair or is unrolling all the toilet paper or stuffing things in the toilet, etc.... If your situation is that you have unknowingly become too quiet with mom, that could be what has driven her to be concerned. However her choice of how to remedy that, is not right. A better choice would be to sit with you and have a talk and share how she is feeling concern. If mom doesnt know that you know what she's been up to, its time to bring this out into the open. Tell mom that you know, and ask her to be honest and tell you why. Is she worried that you might be getting into trouble? Is there anything she is picking up, the false signal that there is a problem? Does she feel the two of you don't talk and communicate enough? Reassure her that you love her.
If she denies it or tries to pretend she has no idea what you're talking about, then share whatever proof you feel you have of her behavior. It may come to the point where you need to state that if she's trying to feel ,closer to you, or worried or suspicious of your activities as a teen, then snooping is not going to help, it will draw a wedge between you and her by destroying trust, And let her know that by snooping, she is setting a bad example for you and any siblings by doing what she's doing, no matter how she justifies it in her mind. work to put this in the past and kiss and make up.
By trying to keep finding better hiding places, you are not choosing to face the issue, the problem head on. Finding better hiding places is not going to solve a problem if it is solvable.
If perhaps your mother has some mental issues where she needs to be under the care of a dr. with medication, then this will not be the only issue you have with mom. Do you have a dad? If talking to mom doesnt help, I would talk to the other parent. If thats not possible, go to an aunt or grandma you're close to and tell them the story with facts, not emotional hysterics. And ask them to have a talk with your mom and find out whats going on with her and see if a solution can be found. Its hard for a parent to take correction from a child but mom soon will need to learn to go from her mothering role to just being your sounding board/ a source of emotional support, a person to bounce your ideas or thought off of, only when asked by you, and this is a hard change for parents to do when their child is an adult and we witness them making mistakes but are not being asked our opinion. I must speak with my grown daughters the same as i do with people who write in here. Giving them other perspectives to look at, offering some different points of view that might help bring clarity but in the end the decision is still yours, and with my kids, its still their decision.
Let me know how it works out and if you end up with any more questions regarding your situation, let me know.
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