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I like this guy and he doesn't even care
I have a crush on this guy.He's 19.He likes me but just as a friend , not even a close friend.i always have to knock him and he replies with short answers and sometimes he doesn't even reply.I told him that i like him and all he said was "aww".i also asked him "why don't you feel the way I feel about you?" and he told me that "You're a kid". But guys older then him asked me out , why does he feel that way?I mean I want him very badly.Don't know what to do :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It is a fact of life that just because one person is attracted to, the other doesn't automatically feel the same.
You didn't mention your age, but I am guessing that him mentioning that you were just a kid is not the real reason. Since age of consent in the UK is 16, even if you were at least 16, you'd be legal if he got to the point of wanting a girlfriend to be sexual with.
So being too young and anything else he says is not going to be his true answer or lets say, the one you need to hear because he is only 19 himself and inexperienced in how to answer you without hurting your feelings. He hasn't a clue what to say, or how to say it to convey the truth without hurting your feelings.
Its a tricky situation for him and there is no easy way. Honesty being the best policy is the best choice here. Although, if he did say to you, "Thanks, I am very flattered that you have feelings for me, but I do not have the same feelings in return. Its not that you aren't pretty, I just don't feel any chemistry with you. You deserve a guy who returns the same feelings for you that you have for him. You just haven't met him yet. And I am not that guy, no matter how strongly you feel I am."
That would be a good response from him. However if he said that, would it make any difference? Would you stop following him to talk to him, knocking him up? If he told you that, it wouldnt magically make your feelings for him disappear instantly, that will take time.
As far as I can see, he is not doing anything to encourage you and give you false hope, he doesn't even engage in conversation with you, giving short answers or non at all. He's hoping you'll pick up the signs through his actions of disinterest but I guess that didn't work.
Other guys even older are asking you out. Are you attracted to them? If you don't find all of them attractive enough, you have no feelings towards them....its the same situation in reverse. The guys are attracted or have feelings for you but you don't feel the same about all of them.
Do you see now that a possibility exists that not just one guy might like you that you dont like back, but many guys could like you all at the same time. When I went on a dating site after my divorce, in my forties, I discovered I was a hot commodity. I had guys begging me to give them a chance and at least go on one date with them. When I first put the ad up, I had over 200 hits overnight and thats not to mention the messages I got daily throughout the year thereafter. If I were to give each guy who was attracted to me,a chance for only one date in a years time, I figured I might be hard pressed to find enough days in the year to do so. There is no way I was going to be attracted enough to try meeting all of them in person. I met maybe 2 dozen guys once in person at a coffee shop, had a few dates with three but in the process discovered enough from meeting in person that either there was no chemistry, no attraction even though they were handsome, or I was attracted enough to date and discovered some negative behavior from the guy by the 3rd date or so that I wouldnt tolerate in a relationship and stopped seeing him immediately. So basically, out of hundreds of guys, I finally found one where both of us had feelings for each other and we are now happily married.
You are a teen, you will have to go through many relationships to learn what it is you like and don't like, beyond initial attraction. Dating and attraction is a process you will need to go through to discover who really makes the best boyfriend and for later, life partner. Attraction to a person can be very misleading to you. I found it was for me. What I was attracted to in guys to start wasn't enough to keep me interested once I got to know a guy better. That is what dating is about, just for your information for later.
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You didn't say your age.
I agree with Solid, You are wasting your time. This guy is not interested you in a romantic way and doesn't seem to even be really interested in a maintaining a friendship with you. Stop trying to contact because it's not getting anywhere.
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It sucks when someone doesn't return the same feelings.
If he doesn't even care, why do you keep wasting your time? By trying to talk to him, it isn't going to make him want you back.
Like the other columnist said, he thinks you're too young for him personally. You might not be for other guys, but maybe he's just not interesting in dating someone who's your age. And also like they said, it also could be the maturity differences. He might be more mature than the other guys that ask you out. Who knows.
So the best thing to do is to let him go and move on to someone else who actually want to be with you. Don't keep waiting around for him, he might never change his mind.
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I hate to confirm bad news but you're wasting your time. He's not into you at all and perhaps not even as a friend. If he's acting weird with you screw it. You tried. There's nothing you can do to change it.
As far as the "kid" remark perhaps in his view you're too young or he means it in terms of intellect or maturity (ouch) in comparison to himself.
Either way as hard as it is to deal with unrequited feelings I would move on. This way you don't get hurt further than you are feeling now. The only person who can tell you why he feels this way is himself.
Unfortunately whether he's sparing your feelings or just isn't forthcoming the reason doesn't matter. It won't change things but only make you miserable. Look for someone worthy of what you have to offer.
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