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Feelings toward coworker
I am bisexual. No one is aware of this, and everyone just assumes that I am straight. Recently, a coworker of mine and I have been getting closer, and I'm starting to feel as though I am developing romantic feelings for her. As far as I know, she is straight.
How should I deal with my growing feelings for her? How do I handle my work relationship with her?
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I actually have similair problem. I'm gay and I like a girl at work who "thinks she's bi". Very hard to know if she's flirting back or not. Anyways, on to your question.
I don't think it's romantic feelings yet, just a huge crush. Infatuated with her if you will. Try to put in your mind that she's straight and it won't work. As harsh as thag sounds, it might just help. I used to hve a crush on this girl who is now my best friend. I turned that flirty energy into a positive means of gaining a friend. And yes there were times I just wish I could date her, but having her as a friend is better than nothing. So just try that for a bit. It's alright to have quick glances an such , just don't make it a habit.
I just don't want you to waste your time to pursue her and ruin a perfectly goos friendship
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If she is single or married and straight, the way you handle your feelings or work relationship is the same way guys need to learn to handle a sexual attraction to someone other than the gal he is with if he's dating or married, he's uses willpower to not go there.
I know thats not much help but unless she leaves the job place or you do, you are going to have to face the fact you have feelings and not act on them.
When a person is first attracted to another, that attraction is usually surface level, there is only so much one can witness about that person to be attracted to them. I can't say that you are attracted to the same qualities in a female as you might be in a male.
A constructive thing to do is take note of exactly what those qualities are. Perhaps its her style of humour, her laugh, how she carries herself, her looks, mannerisms, how organized she is or how she handles pressure at work. Great things to admire in a person. You will want to be looking for the same qualities in a female who is bisexual also. I personally am not but have known many bisexual females who were married. They let their husbands or boyfriends know as soon as they discovered this about themselves. Guys are pretty good about the situation being explained up front, and don't like surprised of something like this discovered later by accident. So if you have a male significant other, it's best you share with him now so he has time to get used to the idea and decide if he's okay with or not. You need a man who doesn't feel threatened or like he's lacking in some way. I talked often with the husbands and found they were very supportive of the girlfriend/wife. One let her find her female b
partner by using an online site, dating site...where you can put your status as being bisexual and looking for women. Another guy accompanied his wife to a swing club where he sat and enjoyed the band that played but did not engage in dancing with or sex with other women, just there in her support. Its much easier to begin with searching for a female who has already declared herself as being bi, than trying to find one that you might stumble across in your regular schedule and activities of life. If your senses are picking up signals that make you think she may be bi, you can always try to innocently steer the conversation that way. If you are becoming more chummy at work, that should be easy, starting a conversation. Maybe mention a movie or show you saw on the subject and then ask what she thinks about that and ask if she's straight or bi curious at the least.
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