I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
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i used to had a boyufriend we were together for 2 years and a half and afte r several things like him not being tolerant enough , and him criticising everything i do , wehre do i go , who do i talk to , my friends, family, my clothes, the things i like to do , and even the music i like to listen to ....this was a huge deal for me and i d ont want him back cause hes done kind of cheating things to me , but a part of me still wants him to be there, but i dont want him back! but when i notices he stops talking to me or things like this i always do something that give him like the hope we are getting back (oh cause he always try to make us be together again) the weird part ...is that a part of me knows that im better of without him, and hes not the one for me ......but the other part...still wants him to like me and being there like trying to get back and doing this kind of things =S that part doesn't want him to move on , i cant imagine seeing him with someone else or dating anyone else,,,but at the same time i dont want him to be with me!! pleaseee help!! this is killing me and im also hurting him cause one day i make him understand i still want to get back and the next day i tell him something like oh im glad we broke up its better off this way :S (link)
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If he criticises you, then ask him why he's doing it and that it's making you upset (well, it is isn't it?) and that you want to break up with him, tell him that you've got feelings for him, but you don't think that the realtionship won't work.
See how he reacts. Expressions can tell people a lot and this question could change your relationship. He will either shrug his shoulders and say "Fine" or he will look upset. If he looks upset, then it would show that he's got feelings for you and then talk to him.
Listen to him and work this out between the two of you.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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I'm a girl and I'm 15. My mom has always hit me when I did something wrong. She stopped when i was like 12 to this year. Now shes starting again. And its for stupid stuff like me forgetting to put my pajamas in the hamper and then me talking "fresh" to her because shes yelling at me for a stupid reason. I don't have an attitude utill she yells at me. Then I do. And then sometimes i get hit. One time when I was 11 she hit me with a cat litterbox. Just a few weeks ago she punched me in the back of the head repeatedly. It was hard enough to hurt and leave a bump. Then the same like 5 minutes she was about to punch my face, then i answered the ringing phone so she stopped. I could defend myself. But if I do, i'll get punished. And because that is totally unfair, I'll try to go against it and yell and get hit again. I threaten my mom that i'm going to get her taken away. My question is is it possible? I don't have any bruises or any proof, except my hatred for her. I really want her to get send away. I can't take it anymore. Next time she hits me, its either going to be me or her who will leave. By the way, my dad is a nice guy but he doesnt defend me. I hear him yelling at her sometimes. And when she randomly talks mean to me he'll say "what the hell is wrong with you?" or something like that. But she hits me when hes not home. I know he doesnt love her. I think he does, but just because shes his wife. I one time found, what i thought was, pictures of stripper on his phone. Please help me (link)
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Go and tell somebody whom you're really close to what's happening, it could be your neighbour, your teacher, your friend, anybody whom you think can help.
Note: Go to these people first and see whether they will help. If not, go to the next paragraph
Even go to the police. They will listen to you and help you, that's what they're there for. Try and get a video of this happening because they will belive you and back you up.
Don't be afraid, nobody in this whole world deserves such treatment. Don't be afraid to speak out, because you could encourage other children like yourself to speak out against abuse.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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(Me m/14) (Jake m/14) (stephanie my ex f/15)
Ok me and my ex have been broken up for about a month and a week. Her bestfreind who is a guy told me, that I need to prove things to her. Before this i told her i would lay off but i need her! How can i show her I "love" her? And me and my best freind jake are in a big fight and me and him have been freind since grade 5 and him and her have been texting and went to lunch togethere with my othere frein cody. Jake is making a big fucking deal over nothin! and wont even let me talk to him! And i think jake likes her, but how can i prove to her that i love her? cause i know that is what its going to take!
(link)
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YOu shouldn't get angry, that is not the right thing to do right now.
The way you need to show her that you love her is to do things that are from the heart, thigns which you wouldn't usually do around other people, make her special in her own way, unique to others.
To do this would be to, send her flowers on her birthday (not crappy ones, roses for instance)and send her a lovely card. Love is something from the heart, not something which you bluff and hope that she comes back to you. For her to do that, she needs to feel the same way about you as you do about her. Ask her first and see what she says.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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Hey there; I've already posted this question but seeming as you look pretty good and as my friend recommends you I would really like you to answer my question below. Thank you!!!
I have a friend who's girlfriend seems to like me more than she likes my friend. I'm two years older than her and I already have a girlfriend. What should I do? It would be rude to date her, yet I don't want to tell my friend? Sweet really…
Please help,
Germany
(link)
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She cannot fall for another person whilst she's with somebody else, that's really not fair. Breaking two hearts at once? The two would be your friend and your girlfriend. She's put you into a dangerous postition in which you face a row with your friend and a break up with your girlfriend.
Ask her what her feelings are for you, if she says that she just wants to be friends, that's fine. But if she says that she wants to go out with you (which i suspect she might say), say no. It's not rude or anything, it's the truth. You're already going out with somebody and the fact that you're two years older than her should be enough.
Good luck with the future and thank you for the question,
triquetra
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F/15
So I use to work at a mcdonalds but I had to quit because I didn't have transportation to get there on time and to get back home but I ended up making myself look really bad when I decided not to show to work on a busy day and also by quitting the next day . I really am starting to regret quitting especially because there's a bus and train to get there and because I really need the money right now....so I guess my question how can I get my job back ? How can I talk to my manager and convince her enough to let me come back after making her look bad by stoodn her up on a busy day and leaving the next day? Please I'm willing to do anything to work again. (link)
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YOu must tell her how difficult it is for you to travel from Macdonalds to your flat and visa versa. Say that you're very sorry and that will not happen again. Explain to her your situation which you're in and tell her as well that (as you said) you're willing to do anything to work again.
That will show her how much you want your job back, with any luck, she should give it back.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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i have been dating this guy for a while and i have serious feelings for him. lately we have been arguing a lot and a week ago i broke up with him because i was really upset. i didnt mean it and i told him but he wasnt sure if we should get back together. he told me to give him time to think and i told him not to make it long because it was hurting me and i wanted to know asap. well the next night he said he was really confused and wasnt sure and that there was another girl he liked and starting talking to. he told me he loves me and doesnt love her but wanted to see where things would go with them and wasnt happy how we were doing lately. we promised to do better and he would stop talking to her and we got back together. i know the girl and her brother so i know they havent been talking but this past week he hasnt been the same. he has been acting different, never calling me or asking to hang out (hes done it like three times this week), i dont ever know what he is doing or what he is up to. i dont ever see him that much anymore. im hurting really bad because i dont think he cares that much for me and the other night he sent me a long text message telling me he is so sorry about everything that he loves me and apologizes for not showing his love for me properly. tonight i called him because im so miserable and upset and asked him why he acts like he doesnt care about me and he just doesnt see it. he doesnt think he is doing anything wrong and just says that he just doesnt show his love the way i want him to. he used to i dont understand why he doesnt now. im so depressed because i love him more than anything and i want to stay with him but i feel so crushed because i want him to show me he cares. im not asking for him to call me and see me all the time, im just simply asking for him to show his love like he used to. what should i do? what should i do to help him realize how i feel and what should i do to help change the fact that he doesnt show it anymore.. (link)
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Tell him how you feel directly. Don't just hang around and wonder what to do. Just call him or tell him how you feel towards him. Tell him that this is really upsetting you and that you really want this realtionship to work. Now, one way to do that is to sit down with him and talk to him about what is concerning you can how the two of you can work around these issues.
Relationships aren't always perfect, there are many bumps in the road and many sharp corners which the couple must face together. If one breaks away, then the other can get lost and needs that person's company. This is just another one of those things which life throws at us and we must fight throw it, because soemthing worthwhile will be waiting fro you at the other end.
Don't take each other for granted, listen to each other and talk this out.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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i have a boyfriend and we use to talk like all the tyme but now we bearly talk and i still want to go with him but it just doesnt seem right....but i just wish we talked like we used to and everything was solved
wat do u think i should do (link)
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Ask him what is the matter and why you don't talk to one and another as often as you used to. Say that this is really upsetting you and you want to have things back to the way which they used to be and to go out with him again.
Talk this one out and see what happens, because if it isn't going to well between you two, then you should talk this out and see how you can get it back to the way it used to be.
Good luck with the future,
Triquetra
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16/female.
i just want to know how do you know when you're in love?
I mean, I really want the real answers. I know it's different for everyone and I know "it's something you can't explain. you just know."
But I really can't tell between real love, physical lust, or just plain hormones.
I know I'm young and apparently, too young to know what love is.
But it feels so real.
I liked him from the start. He was smart, witty, charming, fun, nice, interesting. Everything appealed to me. Eventually, he had me completely. my heart, my mind. just everything.
During the summer, I really wanted to get over it because he's leaving for college next August and I went 3 months without talking to him and the feelings still were the same. I didn't like him any less.
It's hard for me to flirt with other guys now. It's weird. I just don't feel attracted to anyone else and the more I try to flirt with another guy, the more I miss him.
It's just something that's there..I don't know what it is.
We used to like each other a lot and we were close to dating but not anymore. Do you have to be dating someone to be in love with them?
so basically, my two questions are
How do you know when you're in love and it's not hormones?
and do you have to be with someone to love him?
(link)
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Nobody in this whole world can tell you whether you're in love, only your heart can tell you.
Love cannot be told to anyone or can be explianed, you just know. Trust your instincts because nobody on this site can tell you how you feel, only you can answer that question.
To love somebody means that you've got very strong feelings for that person, which means you can't be with just anyone and love him. It has to be true, warm and straight from the heart.
This is the most difficult question i've come across, sorry if this didn't help.
Triquetra
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i am in a new school. i have no friends. how do i make frends? i sit in the cafeteria with people who totally ignore me!!! please help (link)
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They don't talk to you because they don't know you. As you say, you're in a new school and don't know whom to trust and the others don't know your personality so they don't know what to make of you.
Make friendly jestures and they will soon begin to like you (like, helping them out with something which they're struggling with in class)
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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ok i know its gonna be kinda confusing but i don't know exactly how to start,... i had a boydfriend, we were together for 2 years and a half, but everything started to destroy from the 1 anyversary, we started to have lots of problems with trust, becuase the 1 year i was so confortable with him, i was so sure that he would never ever do anything to hurt me and that i was the only one, but then i discover he started to like attention, cause usually not many girls will like him, but all of a sudden a lot of girls started to be interested on him, and the first time smoething like this happen i forgave him because i thought oh maybe he is not used to girls comming onto him so now he knows hes handsome and gets attention...cause there was this girl that was suppose to be his new friend and she was like saying lots of things like "hey do you like someone at school? knowing he has a girlfriend. and asking things like ..do oyyou think im pretty cause i think im sooo ugly ...so he would say something like of course your not ugly i think your really pretty and things like this, she used to make lots of comments like if she was so insecure about herself just for him to say nice things to her..when i found out about him i told him, and he was like oh sorry its just that i felt bad that shes so insecure about her looks (of course i was like "how can she be so insecure about her looks if she uploads hundreds! of pictures of herself in her blog?") and then he kinda understood that ,,,then ,..another thing like this happen, this super firendly girl started to receive comments from him like "you look soooo pretty in that picture ;)" things like this ,,and i found out and got so mad at him,..since then i haven't been able to trust in him again..now i found out he was receiving messages from a random girl on myspace like "oh your so hot your soo handsome" things like this ...and i was so mad i was like ok its not his fault that she wrote that ..but then he aswer! like "hey thnx whats your email?" and i got so mad and told him i couldn't trust in him and i wasnt' confortable with this ..his kinda popular in my city cause he has a band and things like this so that made easier for girls to approach to him, ...he used to be so insecure about his lokks while we were together ...but then ,,now with all this girl things he is so secure about his looks.....then another thing came.. i looked at his email account and he had this email from a girl like ohh baby how are you haven't talk to you please answer you know i love you please lets be friends again cutie please write me back....and i told him i saw that ...and he was like ...that doensn't mean anything its one simple email someone sent me and this girl is not even from our city so who cares if i answer ..i told him what was bothering me was not the mail ...was that he was answering back!...we broke up...but still when i log into his msn i saw like 50 new girls i didn't knew he had in his list...and im soo insecure now cause i wanna get back with him and hes constantly begging for me to come back with him...but i told him i just dont trust in him..for several things that happen...i know he wants me back,,and me too...but i don't like that kind of things :S like having hundreds of pretty girls on her list that they added him just to get to know him cause they are interested in him! please help!! im soooo confuse cause i wanna go back with him...but...im sick of having to be spying his email acount his msn his facebook, his myspace and worse finding things like this!! do you think i should just not go back with him??cause also i think that if he cared enough like he says he wouldn't be doing this kind of things over and over again :S ...im so confused please help hes become very flirty =S!! and i hate that !!! (link)
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Tell him head on about how you feel about him and tell him how all of this is upsetting you and (by the sounds of your question) that you really love him to peices.
But you must understand that all of this attention is new to him, he doesn't know how to cope with it. He only reponds in the way which he does is because he feels as if he must. He doesn't know how to tell these girls "Look, sorry but i'm with somebody else". I know, you're probably saying that he loves the attention and that this answer is bullshit but read this out.
I, myself, have been experiencing a little bit too much attention from girls and i'll tell you, it's scarying me. I don't know how to cope with all of the attention which i never used to get and i was quite happy by myself with my own small group of friends. Now, i feel as if i must turn my attention to others to stop them from becoming bored with me and now my friends hate me for it.
Put yourself in his shoes and see how you would feel.
This has to be the longest answer i've ever done!!!
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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I don't have self esteem issues... i love myself i'm comfortable with who i am and think i'm pretty funny... but all my ex's are jerks or crazy. they fall pretty hard usually and take it to extremes. i don't think i'm bad looking but think i look young. i don't know, i just seem to have a problem meeting good guys. how can i get myself out there enough to meet my next victim...jks (link)
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You should give yourself time. Finding the right guy for anyone is a challenge, even for the him!! Love takes time to find each other and in this case, your Mr Right is still out there somewhere.
Don't go and beat yourself up because you haven't found 'him' yet, because it isn't your fault. Everything happens for a reason and i really and truely believe that your ex-relationships weren't meant to be because you and your ex(s) aren't meant to be together. When the time is right and you find the guy whom you love, then you'll know.
Don't make love happen, let love come to you and fullfill your life.
Good luck with the future
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i used to have a crush on this boy when i was a teenager, and for years i havent been able to get him out of my mind, i used to be his sisters best friend and he detested me( used to make fun of me cuz im fat), and i beleive he still does, i recently starting seeing him again for small periods of time, but every time im within 50 feet of him my tongue feels like its swollen and i cant talk!!! i mean words really just wont form, now im 19 i still like him but he has a girlfriend and shes like a size 16 or 18 and thats the same size as me, i have no idea about what to do about any of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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When you meet someone that you really like, somebody who takes your breath away, that would be your guy. The reason that you can't speak is because your sub-concious is trying to stop you from saying somthing silly and that is natural because you don't want to say anything silly to him now, do you?
About his girlfriend, see whether the realtionship is going well, and if it is, see what she's doing and see whether that will work for you. In your heart of hearts you know you love him and you'll do anything to get him back, but sometimes, we need to let life take it;s course and see what happens, don't rush and do something which you might regret for the rest of your life.
I hope this helps and soryy if the answer is a little complicated
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I know these questions can be extremely annoying but i am very confused and frustrated.
I sit next to this guy in one of my classes. I was friends with him last year and we are this year too. We arent like the kind of friends who hang out after school or anythign but we have fun when we are around eachother. Any who.. I've liked him on and off for a while. We sometimes flirt, and he seems to enjoy talking to me in class.. but theres a girl that he talks to more than me in the class (i dont think he likes her. i think they are just close friends) and she is always telling him to "come over here". If me and him are talking and she does that, then sometimes he looks upset. Another thing is that he wont say hi to me in the hall. Well, I'll say hi to him or try to start a conversation, and he'll seem like he doesnt want to talk to me. Well basically.. in class when we are talking, I think he likes me, but in the hall or when the other girl interferes i doubt it.
What can I do to make him more interested? I'm scared he thinks of me as a girl who will just be a friend. (link)
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You should try and make him more comfortab;e around you. I know, that isn't easy to do when he doesn't talk to you in the hall but does in class. But think about this for a second:
could it be in the slightest way possible that he's already got a girlfriend? I mean it's not natural for somebody to do that unless there's somebody whom he's going out with who isn't in your class but in the hall at the same time.
I know that you like him and i completly respect that, but when girls are constantly calling him over and talking to him, he could be getting worried because he might feel like as if he might get pulled into a relationship which he doesn't want to have.
Just play it out for a while and see what happens, ask him if he's seeing someone else and if he isn't, forget all of the above and ask him why he doesn't speak to you. It could also be that he doesn't want a realtionship with anybody at the moment, who knows until you ask him.
Good luck with the future
triquetra
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15/f
I'm having a lot of problems involving members of my family. I'm constantly stressing over not only these problems but also school problems and I just can't take any of it anymore. My brother and his girlfriend recently accused me of going into their bedroom and stealing 20 dollars from them now before any of you start contradicting me about this, I didn't go into their bedroom and I wouldn't steal not only from them but from anyone. What stresses me out the most is that because of this issue we no longer acknowledge one another or have any contact what so ever. My brother has brought into this my older sister and sort of "stuffed" a lot of BS about me into her head and now because of this my sister and I haven't been speaking to one another and she no longer trusts me. I just don't know what to do my one option would be to leave and go live with my aunt since everyone here has made it
Clear that they don't want anything of me. What would you do in my place? (link)
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What's more important about the $20 is that you know the truth and nothing but the truth. YOur brother and his girlfriend just want the finger to point at someone. But you've done nothing wrong and ask them what you'd need to do with $20 anyway?
Talk to your parents about this because this is a form of anti-social behaviour and bullying and you cannot allow them to feel as if they can get away with it. Your father or your mother can help you, for that is what parents are for. Tell them the truth and they will speak to your brother and sister. It isn't cowardly to do this, the bullies are usually the weaker ones and have issues of their own, in this case, your brother.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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So there's this boy and he is so adorable. we had a talent show thing at our school and he was in it and played guiatr and sang amazingly and had to do his dream pruposal and it was amazing and soo sweet and every girl there melted inside well i know i def did. and i told myself i couldn't fall for him even though i already maybe liked him a little before. every girl now likes him and itll never happen especially since ive never even talked to him. i told myself i couuldn't fall for him but i think i did... what should i do? (link)
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Your love for somebody is more important than any thoughts that you may have.
Don't let an other girls get to him and take him away from you. Make your own appraoach and make a good impresion on him. Don't make it look like as if you're flirting with him because then you could be forcing it upon him to like you. Take it slowly and see what happens.
Triquetra
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Ok. Well I'm not going to give out any names.
So here I go. I like this boy, Kevin (not his real name) and he's very sweet, glamouring, charming, funny, and crazi. But there's one problem, My Sister Amber ( not her real name)Dated him a month ago. But she didn't know him. She never met him, so it really meant nothing.
He tells me how he made a mistake in dating Amber and knows he can't change it but would like to make between us better.
What do I do????
I wanna date him, but Amber date him
Sincerely, Miranda (not my real name) (link)
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If you know him better than 'Amber' did then you should go for it. Why not go out with somebody just because your sister dated him and she didn't know anything about him and when you do? Plus, she never met him so how would she know that you're dating her 'ex-boyfriend'????
It really shouldn't be called a 'date' if she never met him so there should be nothing worrying you. You've got an open road with no bumps.
Good luck with the future!
Triquetra
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latley, ive been really bored with life. i havent had any suiciadal thoughts of any kind. im just bored with life...i do the same stuff everyday. and then i got to sleep, wake up, and then do the same stuff. is their something wrong with me? (link)
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There is absolutly nothing wrong with you. You've only gotten youself into a routine and you can't find a way out of it. Go and call your friends, see what they're doing and ask if you can join in and have fun.
Go out and do different things like swimming, going for a walk somewhere or just watch TV. Life is something which we should all cheirsh and enjoy to the full.
I hope this helps and good luck with the future,
triquetra
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I don't think I'm good at basketball. When I get the ball I just freeze and never pass it. When I do dribble it gets stolen again. I'm never aggresive too. What should I do? (link)
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I get this a lot whenever i play basketball. You always feel as if you don't know what to do when you get the ball, even though you've gone through all the drills and practiced and so on.
It is just a state of mind, in real life, we don't always know how to apply the skills which you've learnt and sometimes, we just feel as if somebody will tell us what to do and we'll follow. Tell youself under your breath:
'I know i can do this, I know i can do this'
When you get the ball and start running, tell yourself:
'I'm doing it, I'm doing it!'
Remeber: real skill comes without effort.
good luck with the future,
triquetra
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I have noticed a pattern in my dreams. I would say that in the last five or so years, I've had a few dreams that included pigeons , in one form or another. For example, a few years ago I had a dream that I sacrificed a bunch of pigeons (black/grey) ...but it was not out of hatred at all, and the pigeons were silent and did not feel pain. To clarify things, I am not religious at all, so the sacrificing has nothing to do with religion.
Also, I once had a dream that a bunch of pigeons were flying. The other night, I had a dream ( I don't remember exactly what) that also included a lot of white pigeons. I sometimes have random dreams, like anyone else, but if they include birds, it's more than likely to have pigeons...
I guess everyone has that one recurrent dream, and mine happens to have birds in it.
Any idea what the symbolism of the pigeons might be? (link)
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Follow the link below:
http://www.mydreamvisions.com/dreamdictionary/symbol.php?DreamMeaningID=730
I hope this helps.
Triquetra
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i need to relax.
but im not sure how you meditate.
do you just sit with your legs crossed and do nothing but try to concentrate on getting everything off your mind?
and can you listen to music when you do it?
thanks in advance. (link)
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You first need to find somewhere where you won't get disturbed for around twenty minutes. Don't heat up the room till you feel drowzy otherwise you might end up sleeping!!! It is better to do this in silence. Do the following:
You need to sit in a rigid chair, which has a straight back (if you don't have one, use any chair but not a sofa). Place your feet six inches apart and place your hands on your lap. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. With each breath, imagine all of the fear or worries that you feel inside of you leave with each breath. Keep your head upright. Realx all of the muscels in your face, your back, your hanads, your shoulders; everywhere.
You'll hear a sort of ringing in your ears, don't worry about this, this is silence. Let it penertrate your mind and let it clear all worries. To help your mind concerntrate on the silence, chant a small mantra under your breath like 'Maranatha' (that always helps me).
You'll find it difficult at first, but keep on practising and you'll find that you'll be able to meditate for longer periods of time.
Sorry for the long winded answer but this method really does help.
Triquetra
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