Question Posted Wednesday December 12 2007, 9:30 pm
ok i know its gonna be kinda confusing but i don't know exactly how to start,... i had a boydfriend, we were together for 2 years and a half, but everything started to destroy from the 1 anyversary, we started to have lots of problems with trust, becuase the 1 year i was so confortable with him, i was so sure that he would never ever do anything to hurt me and that i was the only one, but then i discover he started to like attention, cause usually not many girls will like him, but all of a sudden a lot of girls started to be interested on him, and the first time smoething like this happen i forgave him because i thought oh maybe he is not used to girls comming onto him so now he knows hes handsome and gets attention...cause there was this girl that was suppose to be his new friend and she was like saying lots of things like "hey do you like someone at school? knowing he has a girlfriend. and asking things like ..do oyyou think im pretty cause i think im sooo ugly ...so he would say something like of course your not ugly i think your really pretty and things like this, she used to make lots of comments like if she was so insecure about herself just for him to say nice things to her..when i found out about him i told him, and he was like oh sorry its just that i felt bad that shes so insecure about her looks (of course i was like "how can she be so insecure about her looks if she uploads hundreds! of pictures of herself in her blog?") and then he kinda understood that ,,,then ,..another thing like this happen, this super firendly girl started to receive comments from him like "you look soooo pretty in that picture ;)" things like this ,,and i found out and got so mad at him,..since then i haven't been able to trust in him again..now i found out he was receiving messages from a random girl on myspace like "oh your so hot your soo handsome" things like this ...and i was so mad i was like ok its not his fault that she wrote that ..but then he aswer! like "hey thnx whats your email?" and i got so mad and told him i couldn't trust in him and i wasnt' confortable with this ..his kinda popular in my city cause he has a band and things like this so that made easier for girls to approach to him, ...he used to be so insecure about his lokks while we were together ...but then ,,now with all this girl things he is so secure about his looks.....then another thing came.. i looked at his email account and he had this email from a girl like ohh baby how are you haven't talk to you please answer you know i love you please lets be friends again cutie please write me back....and i told him i saw that ...and he was like ...that doensn't mean anything its one simple email someone sent me and this girl is not even from our city so who cares if i answer ..i told him what was bothering me was not the mail ...was that he was answering back!...we broke up...but still when i log into his msn i saw like 50 new girls i didn't knew he had in his list...and im soo insecure now cause i wanna get back with him and hes constantly begging for me to come back with him...but i told him i just dont trust in him..for several things that happen...i know he wants me back,,and me too...but i don't like that kind of things :S like having hundreds of pretty girls on her list that they added him just to get to know him cause they are interested in him! please help!! im soooo confuse cause i wanna go back with him...but...im sick of having to be spying his email acount his msn his facebook, his myspace and worse finding things like this!! do you think i should just not go back with him??cause also i think that if he cared enough like he says he wouldn't be doing this kind of things over and over again :S ...im so confused please help hes become very flirty =S!! and i hate that !!!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? nicoann2 answered Wednesday December 26 2007, 5:18 pm: girl listen to me. i have this really cute boyfriend and girls constantly text him on his cell emails him and all that. he answers a lot of them but you have to be understanding. girls are gonna like him which your not gonna be ble to stop. if he relly loves you he wont go to any of them. i got upset on my boyfriend couple weeks ago over the same things. a girl sent him a hi5 comment saying 'wow you look so sexy, you got a girlfriend, if you do email me i'l get rid of her for you' but girlz who do things like that are bitches. give the guy a chance. [ nicoann2's advice column | Ask nicoann2 A Question ]
brinaloveshamsters answered Thursday December 13 2007, 4:55 pm: if that boy wants to talkto random girls just hope that his man whore self will find out that one of them is a man...............lol! well if he wants to have other girls then a pretty girl like you then get over hm [ brinaloveshamsters's advice column | Ask brinaloveshamsters A Question ]
triquetra answered Thursday December 13 2007, 8:50 am: Tell him head on about how you feel about him and tell him how all of this is upsetting you and (by the sounds of your question) that you really love him to peices.
But you must understand that all of this attention is new to him, he doesn't know how to cope with it. He only reponds in the way which he does is because he feels as if he must. He doesn't know how to tell these girls "Look, sorry but i'm with somebody else". I know, you're probably saying that he loves the attention and that this answer is bullshit but read this out.
I, myself, have been experiencing a little bit too much attention from girls and i'll tell you, it's scarying me. I don't know how to cope with all of the attention which i never used to get and i was quite happy by myself with my own small group of friends. Now, i feel as if i must turn my attention to others to stop them from becoming bored with me and now my friends hate me for it.
Put yourself in his shoes and see how you would feel.
This has to be the longest answer i've ever done!!!
rogue420 answered Thursday December 13 2007, 1:43 am: Hey girl,
Ok first things first. Are you cute? Because if you are, then you should be going out with me! I would treat you like a gorgeous woman should be treated. I am so loyal that ether women disgust me when I am in love with my woman. Disgust me! Hows that for love eh? I was married for 11 years, and I have only been with 2 women my entire life. I am not afraid to say it. It is because I cannot have sex, I can only make love, and I have only ever truly loved one woman, and before her, I was only fooled into thinkng it was love, when it was just lust. But know I am searching for my true love, the one I was supposed to love from the start. I loved my wife so completely and we were best friends, and better lovers. But her depression was a monster and eventually she allowed it to take her over and destroy our marriage. Your probably wondering why I am telling you this, how does it relate to you and your problem? My wife cheated on me 3 times, on the internet. She never had physical sex with them, and I am not sure if she had cybersex with them or not, I doubt it, but it felt just like I had walked into the bedrom and she was there with another guy, basically it amounts to the same thing, her computer, which I hand built custom just for her and since she loved playing games on there, mmorpg's I built it super fast, high end so it ran beautifully. Anyway, she used it to flirt , chat and tell some guy she never ever met in real life that she loved him. Afterward she claimed she was just confused, she thought I might have been cheating on her, even though she knew I wasnt in reality, I spent too much time taking care of her, she wa always ill almost 90% of the time she was too sick to do anything, psycosomatic I think, anyway, after promising it would never happen again and confessing her true love for me and so on, she did it again! 6 months later after the first, and she had done it to me again with some other guy on some lame ass game on there, then almost a year later, again, I catch her doing it with yet a third guy!! COuldnt believe it. We have a son together, he just turned 7 and not only that but she would have died about 6 times if I had not saved her , literaly saved her life!!!If i had not been there, she would have died, so anyway, what I am trying to say toyou is, it is not worth it. In my book, your boyfriend has already cheated on you. Period. No doubt about it, just on what YOU told us here in your post, what you already witnessed contitutes cheating in my book. Right? ./......Right. Im sorry but it is true and you know it. I was just too stupid to forgive her everytime she did it, it just made her want to do it again, because she knew I would forgive her out of love. She was abusivve to me , she would hit me, yell at me, start vicious fights out of thin air or for very little things that she has no right to even get upset with me about, like putting my shoes inthe corner, and she will happen to trip over them, IN THE CORNER and yell at me to move them, she could have broken her neck ect, and its stupid shit like that,you know? So look, the only reason you even want him back is you dont want to be alone. And for him, he is probably actually not good looking but because he has a hot girl other girls automatically want to get with him, but when they fin dout he is a jerkoff they dont want to get with him, which is why he still wants you, turns out he didnt realize chicks dont like assholes, and he must not be getting any. So save yourself a lot ofheartache and either go out with me, or find another guy that is nice. Try a nerd or geek, they will love you forever and never look at another. :)
Jeanne answered Thursday December 13 2007, 1:28 am: I have a friend who was in the same situation as you. They started a new school together, and suddenly her boyfriend became really popular. Girls were all over him! This was something new to him, and of course he thoroughly enjoyed all the attention. And he turned into a total flirt. Instead of discouraging girls from hanging all over him, he just encouraged it, because it gave him a huge ego boost.
And of course it caused a lot of problems for their relationship. And even though she told him a zillion times how much it hurt her when he flirted, he kept doing it.
But then something happened. They were at a party one day, and several guys started hitting on my friend big time. At first her boyfriend was really mad... but then, he got sad! Because it made him realize how she'd been feeling all this time. It was like a light went on in his head, and even told her, "Wow, now I know how you feel when girls hit on me."
Since then, things have been a lot better. Girls still throw themselves at him, but he doesn't openly encourage it the way he used to.
What your guy needs is a wakeup call like this. And maybe he's gotten it, by you breaking up with him. Now he's realized what its like to be without you, and that he could lose you for good. Maybe he's learned his lesson? The only way to find out is to give him another chance. But be straight with him... let him know that this is his one and only chance; that if he continues to encourage these girls by flirting back with them, then it will be over for good. If he cares about you enough, he'll not risk losing you again.
icey0990 answered Thursday December 13 2007, 12:24 am: i totally feel your pain! i can tell you stories that go along the same lines as your stories, but even more painful. it totally sucks, i know. the one thing i do like is that he is begging for you even though he has tons of girls wanting him. if you had no doubt in the world he would cheat on you, it would actually be kind of nice to know hes yours and the others cant have him. from what i read it seems like you are insecure and afraid he will leave you, which i TOTALLY can relate to trustttt me. so you have to make a choice: you can have a long talk with him and make some comprimises the two of you can work out, or you can stay single. If you know there is no way this can be worked out, why be with him if you will be miserable? I should probably take my own advice :X haha, but i hope everythign works out. if you tell him about your insecutities and how you feel threatened, maybe he will stop flirting with girls. tell him to immagine him in your situation, maybe that will help too! [ icey0990's advice column | Ask icey0990 A Question ]
cheer4life13 answered Wednesday December 12 2007, 10:43 pm: OK i would totally understand where your coming from! Talk to him in private then you should talk to the girl thats a flirt with him and explain you dont like it........But dont yell or diss them explain nicely and sweetly! if they dont understand talk to your bf about what might happen like breaking up hope my advice helps you! [ cheer4life13's advice column | Ask cheer4life13 A Question ]
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