I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65034
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I want to make a new screenname but have no idea what it should be! I'm female 14 and my name is Denise. I want my name to be in the sn. Please give me a whole list of ideas! (link)
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Not to be dense here, because I would like to help you, but you'll need to clarify what you mean when you say you want the name to be in the 'sn'. If you can get back to me, I'll see if I can help.
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i don't like my boyfriend i like my best friend. he lieks me to but i don;t know what to do my boy friend is obsessed with me and i wouldn't want to hurt him i care for him just not as much as my best friend. and now that i have a boyfriend my best friend is a little mad at me. even tohught my best friend had done the same thing to me before knowing i liekd him i feel so guilty doing it to him i just want him i like him so much and i dont want him to loose feelings for me, what should i do? i dont want to be easy because then thatmakes him loose feelings but should i play hard to get? pleaseeee help (link)
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Honestly? I think it would be a waste of time playing hard to get in this case. Your best friend has already made it clear that he likes you and I would say having a boyfriend has probably tortured him enough.
Bottom line here is that you like him and he likes you. You would be far better off breaking up with your boyfriend (not really fair to be with him anyway when you really like someone else more than him, however obsessed with you he may be. You can't stay with him out of pity) and pursuing a relationship with your best friend.
Just ensure that once you start going out with this guy, you take things slowly. If you move too fast, that is what will make him lose respect for you and feel less for you in the long run. Just be yourself for now. A cliche I know, but it was being yourself that made him like you so far, so it can't hurt to do that now.
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ok. i`ve been knowing thiss guy.. since 6th grade and i`ve fallen for him. *since 6th grade* but i was a fat girl and he wasn`t so he didn`t like me. we were kool, kinda friends i guess, but you can tell he didn`t like me cause i used to ask him out all the time. well throughout middle school, my like for him got stronger and stronger. and i lost weight during summer b4 9th grade. well in 9th grade, he started talking to me more, and more. and we evolved a friend ship. he had a girl friend, but she could nvr do nething durin the weekends, so i used to do stuff with him all the time, and he used to cuddle with me. well they broke up and we started talkin, and he asked me out on his birthday. well we broke up but even tho we were broken up we were still actin like we were goin out. he had another g/f and he cheated on her with me and was still tellin me he loved me, and i cheated on my b/f with him. well now he has no g/f and i have no b/f and we tell each other tht we arent goin to get one. but i dont understand why WE D0NT G0 BACK 0UT. i mean we tell each other we love each other, and spend each minute with each other, everyday @ school and everyweekend. but he is goin off to a school next year tht is like 5 hours from here. only gonna come down once a month, but idk. we`re at the end of out 10th grade year. and we have been talking since october of 2004 so almost 2 years. but we don`t go out but we act like we do and everyone at school thinks we do. please i need advice. (link)
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It sounds as though this guy has a fear of commitment. He clearly has feelings for you but for some reason will not allow himself to formally be your boyfriend. Unfortunately, while I suspect this is what the problem is, I can't say for sure and really the only way you will know for sure what the problem is is to ask him directly.
I know that it puts you in an awkward position and that it makes you vulnerable to rejection but after the way he has treated you, you deserve an explanation because he seems to have been leading you on for quite some time. Try to get him alone (either at your house, his or somewhere neutral) and tell him that you really like him and he has told you how he feels about you and if this is the case, you can't understand why he doesn't seem to want to be with you and that after all this time, you need an explanation because you can't keep hanging around with him if there's no future in the relationship.
If he can't give you a satisfactory answer or tells you he just isn't ready for a relationship etc, you need to accept that however strongly you may feel about him, you are wasting your time with him and the best thing you can do is try to move on. Believe me, I know this is hard to do but there will be men who behave like this all the time in life and although you may like them, you are better off cutting them loose or you may realise that two years have gone by and you haven't been with anyone else because you have been waiting for a guy who can't pull himself together.
You sound like a nice girl so please, don't waste your time on someone who isn't prepared to fully throw himself into a relationship. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't but right now he's keeping you in limbo. You deserve more than that.
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I really am Inlove with my ex. I broke up with him about 2 weeks ago. I was going through a really hard time and I kno I made a really big mistake. This girl that is suposed to be my friend is trying to go for him but Im trying to fix things with him. I really do love him and I just want to be with him. What should I do?
15/f (link)
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Nobody who is a real friend would ever consider going for a guy that you like, let alone went out with, without asking your permission first at the very least, so you can rule her out of the equation as a friend. People like that are not worth being friends with because they are only thinking about themselves and not you. Unfortunately, something I can say from experience.
Now, as for the situation with this es of yours, there is really only one thing you can do and that is to get things fixed with him before your ex-friend gets to him. If he likes you as much as you like him then you shouldn't really have anything to worry about and if your ex-friend did get to him first, he wouldn't be interested anyway. However, as soon as you can, you need to sit him down and explain you made a mistake breaking up with him. Tell him that you have really missed him and you only broke up with him because you were going through some stuff and you would like to give things another go.
If you broke up with him, he probably feels the same way so just take a deep breath and go for it. You have nothing to lose.
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ohkay.. well my "best friend" since 5th gradee me and her have been fighting likee crzy this WHOLE YEAR over everything and i can never hang out with like other people unless she gets mad and "cries" and then won't talk to me and thne makes me feel like crap the rest of the dayy and then ughh it makes me soo madd && so idk what to do b/c shes just not nice to mee && it dosn't help that i'm in every noe of her classes this year so idk what to do and i need help!!
- confused (link)
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If she's not letting you hang out with other friends and throws a temper tantrum when you do, then the simple solution is to stop being friends with her. Next time she has a wobbly because of something you are or aren't doing which she disagrees with, tell her that you can't stand all the fighting any more and that she is just making it too difficult to maintain a friendship with her. Explain that however good friends you used to be, you just can't do it any more and you can't be friends with her.
If you really can't take the arguments any more, then this is really the only thing you can do.
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My boyfriend & I have been together for a few months. Our relationship is starting to get physical and serious. He has always made the first move to kiss me, grab me, etc. I've never been that open to do that to any guy, even though I have strong feelings for my boyfriend. How do I go about being sexy and actually making a move on him? How do I get to be the 'dominator' this time around and be really sexy about it? (17/f) (link)
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It's really embarrassing to try to be sexy, I know but rather than try to work out what to do to turn him on and make a move on him, why don't you ask what he would like. Then, as long as you are comfortable, do what he suggests. The only flaw in this theory is that you have got to be comfortable saying no to him. You want to please him but there are boundaries.
The main thing that men think is sexy is confidence. A woman could look like a truck ran over her face but if she oozes self confidence from every pore, he'd still be turned on! So before you start doing anything, make yourself feel confident. Then kiss him first. Most guys love it when girls make the first move so just take a deep breath and do it. See where things go from there. If you want to do something to him, do it. If you want to touch, caress or (dare I say it?) kiss something, do it. This shows him that you are in control and you're confident and happy to do it.
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14/male.
I have crush on this beautiful, smart, funny and great girl. I've (sort of) asked her on dates before - we went to the movies. It was kind of a bad time, because she brought about 5 friends, and it was if I wasn't even there. I just kind of hung around the entire time and didn't even talk to her.
There's a school dance tomorrow. I asked her if she was going to go and she said yes. So we're both going. I want to ask her to basically be my girlfriend...but I have no idea what to say, and I'm really afraid of rejection. What do I do?
(link)
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First of all, she has agreed to go with you so it seems as though you are pretty sorted on the 'getting her to like you' front. As far as your fear of rejection goes, I know how difficult it is, believe me. But the way I see it, if you run away from every opportunity like this because you are scaredof being rejected, you could miss out on some wonderful things. If someone does say no, you just have to build your self esteem up a little bit and try not to let it bother you. Everyone gets turned down at some point in life but you can't always run away from the possibility that it might happen, so take a deep breath and go for it!
Now, if you want to ask her to actually be your girlfriend, you need to wait until the timing is right. See if you can talk to her during a slow dance. Take her to one side or even tell her while you are dancing that you really like her and that you are glad she came with you. Then tell her she looks nice and you are having a good time and that you were wondering if there was any chance you could go out again, as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Don't worry, because I'm sure it will be fine and if you stress about it too much, you'll forget to have any fun! You can do this and if she says no, you have to try not to get too upset. One rejection just means you have more time to look for the girl you are meant to be with and I promise you there is one. That being said, the way I see it, you sound like a really nice guy and she would be a fool to say no. Good luck!
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Hey,my name is Rachel and iam 17 and my boyfriend Jesse never talks to me and when I asked him why he never talked to me all he said is becouse he didn't feel like it and it's been like this from day 1 and our relationship has been going on a little over a month.what's going on? (link)
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I'm afraid that a lot of guys just don't talk to people, whether it's his girlfriend, family or even his best friends.
The problem with this is that communication is a major issue in every relationship and if a couple can't communicate properly, the relationship is doomed from the start.
If it is only little things he isn't talking to you about then there's no real cause for concern, as long as he is telling you important things. If on the other hand, we're talking about big things or if he just sits there in silence and doesn't talk at all in general, this is a big problem, because it makes for very poor company and a really useless boyfriend.
If you have tried confronting him about this before and nothing has changed, give it one more try. Tell him that you need to feel that he can be open with you about things and talk to you about his worries, hopes and fears. If he still can't do this, or makes a big issue out of it, you will be a lot better off without him. There are guys out there who will talk to you about things that bother them and guys who can actually hold up their end of a conversation. If this one doesn't get out there and find someone who does. You deserve a lot better.
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ok i think my friend might be bi sexual, but she won't tell, this is going to be long but here goes nothing:
My friend told me that when she was in 5th grade she was gay, but when she got her 1st boyfriend in 6th grade she told me that was wasn't into girls anymore, and ever since then she has been in guys. we are both freashman, and she droped out of our all girls choir when i ask her why she said it was because she was feeling way too horney around the other gils. I ask her if she was into both guys and girls and she said no. I told her it was ok if she was and that it wouldn't change our friendship. She said that she was 100% into guys and that was it, and that i should drop it. She also told me not to tell anyone that she used to be gay. If she is into both guys and girls i want her to know that i won't care. How do I make her see that? I just want to help her.
~*Keri~! (link)
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It does sound as though she may be bisexual or gay. I don't really know anyone who is gay but I doubt very much you can just 'stop' being that way any more than a straight person can stop being straight.
I suspect she is very concerned herself because it may be that her feelings are scaring her and at the same time, she's worried about the way other people may react. Perhaps this includes you, perhaps not.
Try talking to her again. Sit her down somewhere and just ask straight out, "Are you gay or bisexual?" She will most likely say that she is straight and if she does, make sure you tell her that if she was, it would be okay with you and you would still be her friend. Most importantly, reassure her that you would not tell anybody else. She's bound to be feeling pretty insecure about it all right now.
She may well brush off your assurances and comments because even having your support, she may not be ready to accept the situation herself yet. If this is the case, don't worry too much because at least you know that she is now aware you will be there for her.
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I have been with my boyfriend for a year but we have been sexually active for three months. He broke my virginity. And he takes care of me so I won't have to work and quit school. But his sex is very aggressive and I really don't like it most of the time. He even freaks me out by some of the things he tells me. Like he is going to let his boys get some of me and stuff like that. What should I do. I love him and he takes care of me. I don't have anyone else but him what should I do??????????????????????? (link)
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Sex should be an honest and open expression of love and emotion bewteen two people and it sounds as though this is a point he has missed.
If you are in a relationship with this guy, you need to be comfortable telling him when he does or says something you are not happy with. In this case, you need to tell him you are intimidated by his aggressive attitude when you are having sex and that you need to know if the things he says are true. You say that he tells you he will let his 'boys' get some of you. If this is a serious comment then you need to know because I'm pretty sure this is not something you want to be involved in.
Tell him how you feel. If he isn't prepared to change or if the aggression seeps into other areas of your relationship, get out of it. No matter how well he takes care of you or how much you care about him, if he is aggressive towards you, you need to get away from him while you can.
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well there is this guy his name is tony. we have talked once, online, and he likes me. he is 3 years older then me but that doesnt really bother me. i am not sure if i have any feelings for him other then everytime i see him my heart goes 1000 miles a minute. okay well until i know for sure how i feel i dont want him to move on. how do i keep a guy interested for later and kind of leading him on so that he makes the next move. i figure that i might as well try it. but what type of signals should i send that say. i like you and i am willing to give us a chance (link)
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I know this will sound corny and I'm sorry about that but the truth is that if this guy really likes you for you, you won't need to send him any signals or play any games to keep him interested, because he already will be.
If you already know that he likes you then those feelings probably won't disappear overnight and to be honest, it sounds to me as though you have alredy decided that you like him. As long as you like each other, there's no harm in going on at least one date. The whole reason for first dates is to get to know each other better. Once you have done that, you will know for sure how you feel about him and can decide whether or not you want to pursue a relationship with him.
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i had my 13 birthday 1 and a half months ago and my mom threw me a big party where me and my boyfriend slept together for the first time after being together nearly 2 years. after that we agreed not to do it again for a while 'cos i didnt felt ready, i missed my period so i took a pregnancy test and it was posative! i have told him (he is almost 15) and he says he will stand by me what ever i choose but i am so affraid. i feel helpless, please help me :( (link)
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The first thing you have to do is tell your parents. I'm sorry that you are in this situation but let's be honest here, you're only 13. You played with fire and you got burned. Now you need to work out how to deal with the consequences.
Have a chat with your Mum and Dad about this. They will be mad, there's nothing you can do about that but you cannot go through this alone, whatever you decide to do. They will support you and take you to the doctor and be there for you so you have to tell them.
You also need to decide what you are going to do. A baby at 13 is a huge responsibility and there is nothing on Earth that can prepare you for it so please consider your options carefully. It will be very hard to continue your studies in between changing nappies and giving bottles to a baby.
This being said, the bond between Mother and Child is the strongest in the world and you have every right to keep this baby if you want to. Abortion or adoption are options but they're ones you may not want to consider, because either way, you will be without the life you are currently attached to in every possible way.
Get your boyfriend round to your house for dinner or just to be with you while you tell your parents. Let them know that you know this was a mistake and that you really need them. Talk it over and work out what you want to do. This decision is up to your boyfriend as well, so ask him what he wants to do. He can't leave a decision like this entirely up to you because he is the Father and that baby is as much his as it is yours.
I know it's a terrifying situation to be in, but please talk to someone about it. It won't make what has happened go away but it will make it easier to deal with.
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I met this guy at my friends party and I thought he was cute, so one of my friends introduced us. Later I found out that he is 18 and im only 15. The problem is that I think Im starting to like him. What should I do? (link)
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There is nothing really wrong with going out with an older guy, as long as you are prepared for the implications of it. The main implication (the one that will most concern your parents), is sex. He's been able to have sex for two years and most probably has had sex in that time. The very fact of this means that if he were to go out with you, he would want you to have sex with him. You could be lucky enough to find one of the few guys that would patiently wait for you until you are old enough and happy enough to want to do this as well but you need to be prepared for the possibility he might not want to wait and may put pressure on you to do it. Therefore, the first thing you need to work out is whether or not you would be able to be with someone like that.
Another problem will be the fact that he can drive. Combine with a third problem that your parents don't know him, you've got a massive problem. The parents thing can be overcome if you were to invite him round for dinner and introduce him to your parents. You would need to be upfront and honest with them about the age gap or they will be less inclined to let you even go out of the house when they find out. If he can make a good impression on them, you've ruled out the problem with the fact he can drive too. They need to be reassured that a guy with a car isn't some mad rapist who is going to drive you to a forest and have his wicked way with you so if you decide to go out with him, please bear this in mind!
All of this, however, is academic unless you ask him out. Have a think about it and decide how much you like him and how badly you would like to date him. If you think that it's worth a try, ask him out. BUT, make it clear that he will need to meet your parents before you can go out. Better yet, tell your Mum about him before you ask him out. That way, you won't ask him before you risk finding out whether or not you can go.
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my bestfriend & i sort of slowly drifted apaprt...we just haven't talked, except maybe briefly, in the past 2 or 3 months. we didn't fight, we just sort of stopped talking? should i confront her? i don't really want to be best friends with her anymore, but it seems like i tried to make more of an effort to keep the friendship then she did. should i confront her? if so what should i say? i just want to know WHAT happened, so it is not such a mystery anymore. (link)
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This is actually a very normal thing to happen to friends as they get older. When we are young, we have friends that we have so much in common with and have so much fun with that we're virtually inseparable. However, as we get older and our horizons broaden, we develop different interests and in most cases, these are not the same as those of our friends. The experiences we have and the things we enjoy grow and change over the years and we become different people. Sadly, this means that maintaining those relationships we once had become more difficult, because there's less in common.
If you have drifted apart from your friend and don't really want to be best friends with her any more then it sounds as though you have already got what you want. I understand you might want some closure on the matter and that's fine but if you don't wish to pursue the friendship any furter, there is very little to be gained by retracing your footsteps to discover who did or said what to whom and when.
As long as you are sure you no longer wish to be friends, let the whole situation go. Don't fret on it too much because soon enough you'll have new friends that fit the person you are now. You might 'outgrow' them in time too but for now, make the most of the friends you have right now. Even if they don't last forever, it doesn't stop you making memories that will.
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Cell theres this guy who will not leave me alone. he calls all the time & wont ever leave me alone. I gave him my number once for a science project. hes really creeping me out . . i was wondering how you block people from calling you. I have a verizon wireless phone. I know it sounds really mean but Ive asked him nicely to stop & he wont, hes like creepy stalkerish. please help! (link)
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If he really hasn't got the message and you have tried a lot and he phones all the time, there are things you can do. I had a similar situation once where someone was texting me constantly and they wouldn't stop and the text message became obscene. If this happens, you are within your rights to speak to the Police because it does class as harassment.
For the meantime, if the phone calls are not obscene or rude or threatening, you can speak to the company you have your phone through and they might be able to block that number from calling you. I would recommend you have another try at talking to him first. Explain, firmly, that you would appreciate it if he backs off and stops calling you. Try to be nice but be firm and if he tries to get out of the situation, explain that if he doesn't stop calling, you will have to take it further because you have asked him before.
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alright. see heres the thing. last night i had a dream where i was hanging out with my bestfriend (hes a guy. im a girl) and ive known him a loooonng time and when i first met him i liked him alot but i had a boyfriend (still have the same bf) and i ignored my feelings for him and really they went away now that i know him really intamitly as a bestfriend. so last night i had a dream that was with him and we were 5 years older and i was laying on him and stuff and we were making out and then we had sex. and im really worried cuz i liked the dream :( and being that i have a boyfriend and hes my bestfriend and on top of that i am really good friends with his girlfriend. so all of this is freakin me out. do you think it was just some random dream or something more? (link)
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It could be that you like him. On the other hand, it could just have been a dream.
Lots of people dream about lots of different things. You can have dreams where you are doing things you would never even consider doing in real life, so why should this be any different?
The only thing that would make it different was if you had actual feelings for him, so the question here is, do you? If you forget about the dream for a second, forget that you ever had it. How do you feel about him? Dreams are only manifestations of worries, hopes, fears and desires in picture form. Now, it might be that you were feeling particularly hormonal at that time and.....a little horny perhaps. For whatever reason, perhaps you had been thinking about him that day, those feelings were transferred to someone you were comfortable with. In other words, your friend.
So as I say, the only time you need to worry is if you actually have feelings for this guy. Take some time, think about it and then try not to worry too much.
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I dont know what to do. I like this guy and im pretty sure he doesnt like me. And i think he knows i like him, but im not sure. I dont know if i should talk to him or just find out if he likes me. If i do talk to him, and he doeasnt like me, everything will be really awkward because i see him every day in school. I was thinking of signing his yearbook saying i think i like you, and giving a hint to who it is. But idk if i should. I need help
(link)
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Guys are virtually impossible to read when it comes to things like this so don't write him off just yet.
Here's the thing. You have a choice. You can tell him that you like him, even if it is just for the sake of telling him and find out for sure how he feels about you or you can leave it and risk regretting not having said anything when you had the chance.
Telling any guy you like him is REALLY scary and there's no denying that but speaking from experience, the regret of not having said anything and missing the chance to find out how he feels just isn't worth it because it's true torment to know the pain of a missed opportunity. So tell him how you feel. Just tell him that you don't expect him to feel the same way but you wanted to tell him that you like him and have done for some time. Give him a glowing smile, stand up and walk away. Even if he doesn't like you, he'll have a lot of respect for you because you did it and you never know, the confidence you have after you managed to do it might just attract him to you anyway!
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Im about to go out and by the John Freida glaze to make my hair shiny and hopefully a bit darker, has anyone tried it and is it worth it
thanks (link)
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I have tried it and it's nice stuff but it can make your hair get greasy much faster so if you are going to use it, it's best to do so on nights when you are going out only, or you will be washing your hair every two days!
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on friday night, i have my friends party. we are going to get our nails done and then we are sleepoing over. except theres a few problems. i have a double header softball game on saturday against a REALLY good team. my parents already said i can't sleepover because i'd be too tired for my game, so i have to come home at midnight. the other thing is that on friday night i was asked to play an older leauge game becuase they are missing some players. only 2 girls get to move up for the game, and my coach and the older teams coach both said they want me to play up in the game. i really don't know what to do becuase my friend is already pretty pissed that i am missing some of her party, and now i might have to miss more. i play in a travel softball leauge, and it really is a hugee commitment to play. i really don't know what to do becuase i dont want my friend to be mad, but this softball thing is a big deal! i mean, there will be other parties to go to but i may never have the chance to play with the older team again. pleasee help im really stuck on what to do!!(i'll rate high (link)
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I can understand your friend's point of view....but this is a big opportunity for you and she should be able to understand that.
Try to sit down and talk to her about it. Explain this is a big chance for you and she needs to understand that as much as you want to go to all of her party, she can't expect you to give up something like this. If she is a real friend, she might be mad at first but she will understand.
What you might need to do, however, is to try to make it up to her by getting her an extra present or taking her out somewhere after her birthday. Something to let her know that you do care about her birthday and did want to be there and to thank her for not going to hard on you when you didn't do it.
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15 / F _ okay so i started going out with this guy a couple days ago && i really like him nd all ;; but it doesn`t really feel rite && i don`t think i`m ready for another relationship yett because me and my ex broke up about a week or 2 ago && i know i`m still in love with him ,, he was the 1st and only guyy i fell in love with .. and he still likes // loves me too ,, but i don`t want to wait around for him for _ ever yah know ,, but idk what to do .. (link)
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I know you don't want to wait around for him but please remember that this doesn't necessarily mean rushing into dating someone else. The heart is like any other muscle. We need to let it heal before we can use it effectively again and I think the problem here is that you have tried to move on too quickly.
If you still love someone else, it isn't fair to be in a relationship with this guy, so try to explain to him that you thought you were ready to move on but you weren't. Reassure him that he is a great guy and you do like him but you just aren't able to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment.
After this, you need to start trying to move on. This is a very difficult thing to do and I would never deny that it is but if you don't want to wait around for him then you need to do it. Try to go out with some friends more. Take up a hobby, expand your horizons and try different things. If you can do this, it should take your mind off him and it might help you to start moving on. Don't expect your feelings to disappear overnight becuse it will take time. A cliche, but it's true.
You will be ready to move on at some point but for now, just work on distractions and in time, you won't have to remind yourself not to think of him. When that happens, you know you will be ready to move on.
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