Matt's advice column

Hello,

I am a male (18) and I've been having sex with my girlfriend for five months now. As the title says my girlfriend has trouble cumming. I am not sure why this is, the past five months she has never had an orgasm. I can however give her a clitorial orgasm, but not a vaginal one. I haven't yet tried fingering her to that point and she refuses to finger herself.

I wonder if there's anything I can do to make her get her orgasm. She is really getting frustrated during sex, she actually gets to the point when the orgasm should come, "but then everything disappears" she says. These frustrations occur multiple times during sex, followed by an emotional breakdown(on her side).

I real feel bad about not being able to give her an orgasm, so please, are there any tricks/tips/suggestions?

Thanks in advance!

Chill out buddy. A high percentage of women can't achieve orgasm via intercourse. She's not alone, you're not alone, etc. Stick to oral.

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My boyfriend and I hooked up last night, i gave him head and he came. Then about 5 mins later I went to the bathroom and peed and THEN i washed my hands :( Is there a chance im pregnent?!

There is a high chance you're pregnent.

But luckily zero chance that you're pregnant.

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alright my friends are way to over protective.
i like to hang with guys thats just me. even with my bf its hard to even hug.
like seriously they need to learn its my choices and who i hang with
what should i do

I agree. Like seriously.

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My boyfriend says my cum tastes sour. Not like rotten sour, but like actually sour. Is this normal?

Stop eating Warheads.

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does anyone know if... if you try to communicate with someone telepathically, and you are using your own mental voice.. would they hear it in your mental voice..?

They wouldn't hear anything, because telepathy is as much a possibility as asldkjfakj;sdhfkjh is a word.

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13/f
and i like a
13/m

BEWARE: this might be long.

OK. So i have posted so many questions on the same topic. But i haven't gotten any real good advice. All of my answers usually say "just go with what you think is right" or "its better to do it and say you did the to not and regret it later." so i hope you can give me better advice. like what i should specifically do.

So i have like this guy for a long time. Ive known him since elementary school and he lives two houses away from me. I think I'm IN LOVE with him. now don't say "i think your too young to be IN LOVE" or "you need to wait and see if these feelings leave. if they don't then....." because I've heard it all before. I know for a fact that I'm IN LOVE with him. so i know that he likes me because he asked me out at the beginning of 7th grade. I said no because my mom doesn't approve of neighbors dating. because if we ever break up then it'll be awkward because i see him all over the place. but i like him so much that i am willing to hide it from my mom. But another reason why i know that he likes me is because, not too long ago, we were walking home together and he touched my ass. on purpose. so if that's not flirting than i don't know what flirting is. lol. so i have no idea what to do. do i ask him out myself or just wait for him to ask me out? please help me. and im sorry that this was so long. thank you in advance.

Well, at least you know he isn't lying about his age. Because touching someone's ass is an entirely 13-year-old move and one that if I tried on my friends, would get me a slap in the face. A much deserved slap in the face.

You're not in love with him. You're 13. The end. But hey, look on the bright side; there's a level of emotion and connection that's beyond what you're experiencing now. Why limit yourself by claiming this is love?

Anyway, I don't have much advice to give, mostly because you're 13. "Date" him if you want. I'm not sure what your mom is so worried about, considering you both can't "go out" without your parents' help anyway. So yea, if you're so into him, hang out with him, do whatever you consider to be dating with him, and that's that. Just realize that when things fall apart, you'll both have to be able to move forward.

Just don't show each other your private parts and all should go well.

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Ok, I love my boyfriend to death. He is so amazing except for one thing; he's TOO honest. I know, I know it sounds stupid but I don't know...sometimes we play this little question game like if we're bored or something and we just ask each other questions. I know I probably shouldn't ask questions if I'm so afraid of the answers but I don't know...I guess I just expect him to answer all of my questions nice and sweet for some reason. Ok, for example: The other day I asked him if he thought he would get tired of me if he hung out with me for too long and he said "yeah, probably...I have to have time for hobbies and stuff" and it's like I know that logically, what he's saying makes sense, but would it have really hurt for him to just say "No, of course not!" or something? :( It just seems that he doesn't really think about how sometimes his honesty can hurt me...I mean part of me feels ridiculous for even being upset about this because all anyone ever wants in a relationship is honesty right? But on the other hand, this isn't the first time he's done this...and then after he says it and I explain that it hurts me, he's just like "Yeah, I can see how that would have hurt you"...I don't think he understands how much it hurts me? I don't know...what do you guys think I should do? Or should I just drop it?

You're setting yourself up for hurt. If you already know he's an honest person that is going to answer from the heart, why would you ask questions that you know he'll answer in a way that will hurt you?

These are your own hang ups; don't blame them on him.

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So, I'm not talking about my first kiss-I've been kissed before, although not much. And I don't know if my boyfriend has been kissed before-but I'm guessing he has. I'm talking about OUR first kiss. We haven't been together very long (btw, we're both 16) but we haven't yet kissed. And I'm wondering, should I leave that up to him? He's shy (we both are to some degree), but he is the guy, and he's not THAT shy. Or should I take matters into my own hands (he's quite the gentleman, maybe he's wondering what I'm ok with, and besides, I tend to be more agressive). Or should I try to talk about it? So-wait for him to make a move, just go ahead and kiss him, or what? How would I go about the correct option?

You should stop over thinking and just kiss him.

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okay. sooo i read your advice to this one girl and i really liked it and i\'m about to tell you the entire story of my relationship (7 months) (things i\'m too scared to tell my friends) and i just wanna see what you say.

alright. i am a fourteen year old girl (freshman) and the guy is a sixteen year old boy (sophomore). it all started about ten months ago when i met him. we\'ll call him jack. (not his real name) and i saw him playing baseball last summer and i thought he was cute. when school started we talked because of a mutual friend. one football game he looked at me and smiled and after the football game we went to bdubs and just talked. after another football game (i\'m a cheerleader) he talked to me and asked for my number. we texted and talked and hung out in groups for about three months and then he asked me out.

I was really really really happy. then one night about a month in he told me about a certain time with his ex girlfriend, and how he had fingered her. i was kinda upset by this but i don\'t really think i had a right to be. it\'s just before we started dating i had never kissed or done anything with a boy and i didn\'t want him to expect anything like that from me. he told me he didn\'t and that he valued our relathionship more than the physical stuff. and i believed him. thing is, i let him finger me. i wouldn\'t say he pressured me into it at all. he would try to slip his hand down there every once in a while and i would stop him, until one night i wanted him to do it and he did. things were fine. about anothere two months later, i gave him a handjob. he kind of asked for that... then we didn\'t go a lot farther for awhile but our relationship started to get really rocky. he would be a complete ass to me sometimes and it felt like all i ever did was annoy him or embarrass him and it sucked. when i went out of town he went out to lunch with this girl kacy. nothing happened, but i was still mad cuz he didn\'t wanna tell me about it. she was the one that asked him and there was anohter guy there but jack and kacy used to like eachother and she\'s constantly flirting with him. jack and i would just fight all the time and it sucked. we almost broke up but he said he was gonna try harder and he did. and things were slowly starting to get better. just four days before he broke up with me (he brok up with me on tuesday) he told me he felt so much happier and that he could tell things were better.

But i\'m skipping a part... a week before we broke up i gave him a blowjob. i didn\'t really wanna do it but i felt almost kind of guilted into it. let\'s just say i\'m really bad at handjobs and i stopped giving them. well he kept fingering me and he could make it feel sooo good. he told me we had been dating for six months and that i should be comfortable enough with him to give him a blowjob. that he felt like the physical part of our relationship was completely one sided. And that made sense to me so i did it... i trusted him when i did it and i wanted to make him happy and he broke up with me in a text message a week later. i don\'t even get why he did it when four days prior he told me how much happier he was...

well its been a few days since we broke up. and i found out that after we broke up on tuesday he alrady started talking to this new girl on thursday. that just hurt really bad... i thought i wanted him back but i don\'t think i do anymore. i just gave so much of myself to this guy and i\'m so hurt right noww because it seems like those seven months didn\'t mean anything to him at all.

i just don\'t know what to do... and i would really appreciate any advice you can give me. thing is i can\'t talk about this stuff with my friends because i\'m too ashamed to tell them that we did all that physical stuff... so please don\'t involve the advice doing that. i really don\'t want to.

Chill out, you don't need to tell your friends anything. This is a personal matter and it's entirely your decision as to how public you want to make your personal business.

Basically, you can chalk this up as your first experience with a total douche bag. And I'll spell out the inevitable; this is the first of many. You're 14. A majority of guys your age are only looking to find some way to cum without doing it themselves, and they'll do anything they can to make that happen. Including taking advantage of your conscience and feelings. So they'll try to guilt you into doing things you might not want to. You know this, this just happened to you. And as you clearly know, this is wrong. You shouldn't feel guilt or discomfort when getting physical with a boy; if you feel either of those, it means you should stop what you're doing. You probably regret what happened, and that's okay. You're not the first this has happened to and sadly you won't be the last. What's important is what you take out of this; guys your age are douche bags and for the most part are only looking out for themselves. This doesn't mean EVERY guy is like that, there are always the poor saps that are cursed with caring, but the majority of guys in your Algebra class are in fact douche bags.

So, from here you ought to just reevaluate how you go about relationships. You shouldn't even talk to this dude again, no matter how convincing his apology is. He's not worth your time and never will be. Also, if you're 14, it's not the best idea to be sucking dick and getting fingered. As you can obviously tell, this just leads to complications and issues in your relationships that you could have avoided. When I was 14, I have no idea what the fuck I was doing but I sure as hell wasn't guilting girls into sucking my dick. And I turned out okayish.

In conclusion, avoid douche bags, only put things in your mouth you plan on eating, and enjoy being a 14 year old with your friends. You have nothing to be ashamed about, but you have plenty of time for this adult junk when you're a few years older.

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My boyfriend says we have a normal relationship. I try to tell him it's not. He expects me to tell him everyone I pass in the hall way at work, what they say and send him pictures. If they come in my office he says they only made an excuse to come and see me that things should be controlled differently and men should not be able to just walk in my office. He takes these things out on me as well. Last Friday my boss called me in his office because he was about to leave for the day. When the boyfriend called I wasn't at my desk. he called and left vmails that were rude and ugly and when i called him back and explained he Said "you were in the office w/ 2 men?" "What else happened" Would you feel as if he is suggesting that something un professional could have happened by saying something like that? I'm at wits end and he seems to think he is doing no wrong. He says he has the right to know who I talk to and what is said and where I am and thinks if I have a problem w/ it then I have something to hide.

Where is your brain? Break up with this douche bag and try not to set feminism even further back.

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I am a 15 year old guy who's just finishing grade 10. I spend all my time making short and feature length movies mainly by myself and some of the time with my friends. Also I listen to alot of metal and instrumental techno music. I read books about the occult and death, along with really funny comic collections. I have never had a serious relationship, and I would really love to have one. I find it easy to become close to girls in a friendship way, so they trust me with anything but if I tell them I like them (which I have!) they get kinda awkward and won't want to go out with me. I know I'm not the best looking guy around, I'm very skinny, tall, glasses, and I have long hair because I love metal music, but I still think that if someone gave me a chance they might actually be pretty happy. Any advice for me to get a girlfriend?

You're only 15, you should just focus on listening to br00tal music.

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What should I do ?

Get on your knees.

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how far should you go with a guy at age 13...and don't say "however far you wanna go"--thanks

Kiss.

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i mean like.. if someone says.. "do you put out?" whats that mean? a guy asked me at school when he asked me to the dance and i said yes to the dance but idk to this other question. Is it bad? everybody laughed?

Do you put out = Are you down to fuck?

You're going to the dance with a 14 year old or a douche bag.

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i want to do really good in the 100 hurdles so i was wondering if tehreis anyting special i can do to maybe improve my chances. is there something i can eat maybe or what should i be eating? let me know

Listen to something br00tal.

Future Breed Machine by Meshuggah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOd-T58qHLA

Prison Born by The Faceless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRF0cPnw0A0

Hadean by The Ocean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSVRPssSNoI

Where Strides the Behemoth by Mastodon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4bCWZjkrdw

Congratulations on first place.

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I am leaving for college in the fall and planning on staying together with my boyfriend. There is a handful of people I know who have actually made it through their freshman year with out breaking up. Has anyone gone through something like this... How did you make it work? Do alot of these people end up cheating? Everyone keeps telling me to break up with my boyfriend before college... And I know it make sense, but I can't break up with someone I love without a legit reason.

"Do alot of these people end up cheating?"

None of my friends did. If their relationship ended, it was due to them finding someone else or just getting tired of being strapped down. Maybe I just surround myself with altruistic, good people. Yea right.

Anyway, I finish my freshman year on Monday, and we still haven't broken up. It's a combination of trust, not being in constant contact (no texting), and circumstance. And being awesome, of course.

Basically, every situation is different and no two relationships are alike. Don't break up with your boyfriend now. If you find someone else at college that's hotter or nicer or richer or has a bigger dick or is just better for you, by all means, break up with him. But until then... what's the point?

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18/f.

next week i'm going to have sex for the first time. not sure which day but my parents are going out of town so i have the house to myself.

are there any last suggestions any of you could give me? any pointers? i've been on birth control, take it on time, never miss one. and we will be using a condom. i KNOW for sure FOR sure i want to do it.

i just want to know if there is anything i should know prior to having sex .. such as things to expect .. any helpful hints? any comments will be appreciated! :)

Depends if he's had sex before.

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Me: F19 boyfriend:M19
So my boyfriend that I have been dating for a year and 4 months is being a jerk. Here's the story... two weeks ago he throw a party at his older sisters house when she out of town. When the sister came back a neighbor told her he was throwing partys. She asked him if that was true, he lied and said that he threw no partys while she was gone. Well she believed the neighbor over her brother (my boyfriend). Will my boyfriend is so mad that she did not belive him. Me and his sister are good friends. We hungout all day together (two weeks after the party issue). When he realised I spend the whole day with her. This is what he sent me via text message...
Boyfriend: Im so mad at her u dont even know. And uve spent all day with her.
Me:I guess we will talk about this later... but I don't even know why you are. You did have a party at her house. She is not mad at you for it. Just drop the whole thing she believed robben over you.
Boyfriend: F*** off. Go have fun... No we wont be talking about this later. Turning off my phone! Dont text me or call or show up on my breaks.
Me:Jon you don't tell anyone to fuck off especially the one you love. That is very disrespectful, and rude. How dare you get mad at me for hanging out with your sister when you two have a problem
Me:I thought you were goingt to stop being so mean and disrespectful to people. And not treat me like sh** What happen to the guy the guy that wanted to become a better man and not turn into jeff?
* jeff is a really mean guy who treats people really badly*

What should I do? Am I wrong for hanging out with his sister? I am so mad he told me to f*** off I have a right to be right?

You should just break up with him. Weeeeeee

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me and my boyfriend have sex alot, but i can never seem to have an orgasm. I was to be able to scream with pleasure. How can i have an orgasm while having sex?

A good deal of women can't; welcome to this world.

But if anything is going to help, playing this while you're doing it could make a difference.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fmPUtP0dXM

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