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I need advice! Is he a jealous controlling boyfriend?
My boyfriend says we have a normal relationship. I try to tell him it's not. He expects me to tell him everyone I pass in the hall way at work, what they say and send him pictures. If they come in my office he says they only made an excuse to come and see me that things should be controlled differently and men should not be able to just walk in my office. He takes these things out on me as well. Last Friday my boss called me in his office because he was about to leave for the day. When the boyfriend called I wasn't at my desk. he called and left vmails that were rude and ugly and when i called him back and explained he Said "you were in the office w/ 2 men?" "What else happened" Would you feel as if he is suggesting that something un professional could have happened by saying something like that? I'm at wits end and he seems to think he is doing no wrong. He says he has the right to know who I talk to and what is said and where I am and thinks if I have a problem w/ it then I have something to hide.
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Sounds like a highly insecure, controlling and, in the future a highly probably abusive person. Get out while you still can, you can't fix him.... only years of medication and/or therapy can.... If you don't go through physical abuse, I'm willing to bet the emotional abuse will be worse.
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i agree these are warning signs of an abusive boyfriend but , then i asked myself if you are complaining about him you want him in your life.as women thats the hardest thing to do, letting go.
well i recommend you sit down and talk to your boyfriend about changes that you want to see, tell him you are not happy with the way he behaves.
this will help with your professional job, since you work with same people. give it time , its all easy to say dump him but , its hard. if he makes you happy, let him know, communication. if he doesn't like it give him a week or so to see if he will behave better. if not then its time to cut your losses and move on. your best days are ahead of you ! have fun
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Dump him.
This is not normal. Even if it was normal, it would still be completely wrong. His behaviour is controlling, manipulative and threatening. This isn't something you need to 'talk out' or 'find a compromise on'. This is something you run screaming from.
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Its time to leave.
Your boyfriend thinks he has the right to act this way. You aren't going to change his mind by staying with him.
Tell him point blank. Break up with him and explain (briefly) that you're leaving because he has no right to call you at work and leave shit like that when you're away from your desk dealing with work. Tell him that his opinions on what should be allowed and what is appropriate between men and women are 200 or more years out of date and that you have no interest in being with someone who's so insecure and pathetic that he's got to create his own little rules about what men and women should do which let him be secure about his relationships.
Leave. Everyone has the right to secrets, and everyone has the right to not be hassled for living a normal life. Unless you want to end up the abused housewife raising his kids for him, dump him now.
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Your boyfriend does not trust you.
It's very sad. And you're right, he is controlling. He's making you send him pictures and tell him every moment of your life...I'm sorry but that's not the way to have a relationship. If you don't fix it, sooner or later it's going to have horrible results. He's already placed ideas in his mind that you are meeting wtih different men, and the next step is he's going to come up with new scenarios about you and these men.
You are not at fault, but if you let it continue, you are. This is not the type of relationship you want to be in. It is important to have trust, and he doesn't seem to have that.
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Where is your brain? Break up with this douche bag and try not to set feminism even further back.
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uh, no. this is REALLY not normal. its good you know this isn't normal. he does not have a right to know who you talk to and pass in the hallway. you shouldnt have to tell him any of this. if you dont break it off soon, it could turn really ugly. what i would do is cut off all contact possible. or dump him. if he gets upset about it and maybe a little violent, stay at a close friend's house for a while, and tell the people at your work so if he shows up there they'll take care of him.
take care, and please be careful. if he does physically hurt you, call the police. it may be hard since you might like him a lot, but its for the better, trust me.
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These are all the warning signs of an abusive boyfriend. Abuse doesn't start with hitting. It starts with controlling and isolation. First he starts asking you to spend less time with friends and family. Then he gets overly jealous about people at work. My guess is the next step he'll take is to ask you to quit working there. If he hasn't become physical with you yet, its only a matter of time. I know from experience. He sounds really crazy and you need to get yourself out of this relationship as soon as possible. Then you need to seek out counseling so you can figure out why you attract men like this in the first place. I know you have feelings for him, but please, for your own safety and sanity, get out of this now. It will only get worse. This is not normal. It is not typical. This is not an overprotective boyfriend. This is a real problem that will escalate quickly. Run, don't walk, away from this one as soon as possible.
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