|
Advice for a strange guy looking for a nice girl?
I am a 15 year old guy who's just finishing grade 10. I spend all my time making short and feature length movies mainly by myself and some of the time with my friends. Also I listen to alot of metal and instrumental techno music. I read books about the occult and death, along with really funny comic collections. I have never had a serious relationship, and I would really love to have one. I find it easy to become close to girls in a friendship way, so they trust me with anything but if I tell them I like them (which I have!) they get kinda awkward and won't want to go out with me. I know I'm not the best looking guy around, I'm very skinny, tall, glasses, and I have long hair because I love metal music, but I still think that if someone gave me a chance they might actually be pretty happy. Any advice for me to get a girlfriend?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
find a girl that likes the same things you do. i know when i was in hs long hair freaked me out idk why but it did. maybe cut it but if you dont want to i dont blame you try to find a girl who loves the same things you do. go watch local bands or enter your movies into contest maybe itll well help you meet a girl with the same interest
]
You're the tall, skinny, creepy, glasses kid who may or may not be into D&D or LARPing. Got it.
Dating, especially at your age, is mostly about confidence. Having it or faking it passably. Trying to tell the awkward semi-gothic to be more confident...
Lets try a different approach. I knew a hundred kids like you. You're puppy dogging them. You're all cute and cuddly and safe.
Cute and cuddly do not make women horny. You can work safe pretty well, but not until you've got a good bit of real confidence in your stable.
When you tell a girl you like her, it's a confession. You're sharing a secret hidden thing, and putting the burden on her of not hurting you. Pressure, pity, and awkward admissions are also a bad recipe for sparks and chemistry.
If you're going to be dark and brooding, you need to also be independent and stoic. When you turn letting a girl know you like her into a confession, you're showing vulnerability. That's now how attraction works. Attraction is about peacocking. Vulnerability comes later with trust.
Instead of presenting a choice guaranteed to hurt you, you should be presenting a choice with few to no strings. When you talk to girls they get the feeling that they could crush you emotionally by rejecting you. What they need to get from you is that you're curious, and the worst that will happen if they say no is that your curiosity will go unsatisfied.
You're invested in the answer, but it won't devastate you. You're a rock. Unmovable and emotionally distant. Peeling back your layers and getting to the "guy inside" is half the fun girls have in relationships.
The other thing. You need humor.
Google something like "Top 100 stand up comedians" and go watch something from each and every one of them. Pay attention. See what goes into a joke, delivery, body language, etc.
Humor is the giant spear gun on the front of your whaling ship that brings in the big ones. Humor allows you to flirt in a way you can play off, or at worst gives someone a framing to reject you early on without being a dick about it.
You can use humor to compliment a girl. To entertain her. To get her guard down. The right line delivered at the right moment can be the difference between attraction and indifference.
I've worked some of the corniest routines known to man successfully because I delivered them with a straight face.
You've got to express interest early. It's best if you do it with everyone. Flirt with girls. Compliment them. Ever seen Animaniacs? [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
There. See that? Do that, but less cartoony. Girls expect certain reactions of interest from guys, and when they don't get them they assume friend. That's where you are. You confess you like them, they're just friends, awkwardness, etc.
Final note: Right now you're being rejected because of the friend trap issue. Once that's gone, and you're expressing yourself and your interest like a human being with feelings (and hiding all of your real feelings), you'll get to deal with reasoned rejection. Things like "Your taste in music sucks" or "your hair is ugly" or whatever else girls might decide to pick as the reason there is no spark.
When that happens, find some good friends who aren't into the occult thing and get a few honest opinions. Or else ask a few of the girls you've gotten awkward with exactly what about you they don't like so you can work it until someone else does.
]
You're only 15, you should just focus on listening to br00tal music.
]
I'd like to start off by saying the number one important thing is to stay true to yourself. Don't change who you are because you want a girlfriend. That will just lead into problems. What I suggest is trying to meet a girl who enjoys things that you do. For instance, you said you like heavy metal, so you could probably find a nice girl who ALSO enjoys metal at a concert. Or maybe you could go to a midnight production of a movie you'd like to see, or an opening for a new book. You could even go to a comic book convention. Try surrounding yourself with girls with the same interests as you. :)I wish you all the luck in the world.
]
More Questions: |