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pls help. no one has given me really good advice on what to do. sop i help
13/f
and i like a
13/m
BEWARE: this might be long.
OK. So i have posted so many questions on the same topic. But i haven't gotten any real good advice. All of my answers usually say "just go with what you think is right" or "its better to do it and say you did the to not and regret it later." so i hope you can give me better advice. like what i should specifically do.
So i have like this guy for a long time. Ive known him since elementary school and he lives two houses away from me. I think I'm IN LOVE with him. now don't say "i think your too young to be IN LOVE" or "you need to wait and see if these feelings leave. if they don't then....." because I've heard it all before. I know for a fact that I'm IN LOVE with him. so i know that he likes me because he asked me out at the beginning of 7th grade. I said no because my mom doesn't approve of neighbors dating. because if we ever break up then it'll be awkward because i see him all over the place. but i like him so much that i am willing to hide it from my mom. But another reason why i know that he likes me is because, not too long ago, we were walking home together and he touched my ass. on purpose. so if that's not flirting than i don't know what flirting is. lol. so i have no idea what to do. do i ask him out myself or just wait for him to ask me out? please help me. and im sorry that this was so long. thank you in advance.
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I'm sorry to hear that you haven't received the advice that you need. However, hopefully, I can give you some good advice, friend. Thanks for inboxing me! :)
Not to worry, I will not tell you that you are too young because I too was in love at thirteen. For most teenagers, it's not really love, but I know that it was for me and it seems to be for you also. It seems that you have already established that you both have feelings for one another, which is the first step. Now, you need to go to step two: Establishing a Relationship.
I'm not really happy about you not telling your mother, however, I'm assuming that you will not tell you no matter what I tell you. :) So I'll go ahead and give you my best advice, friend. He lives a couple of doors down, therefore, it's very convienent for you to see him and talk to him. You need to, when you see him or you may go to his house (whichever you are more comfortable with), talk to him and explain to him how you feel and listen to how he feels as well. If he tells you that he likes you back, which you've already established this (you should still ask though for communication purposes), and let him know that you would like to be more than friends.
I wish you the very best of luck, I'm sure everything will work out just fine. However, I hope that maybe if things do work out, you will tell your mom sometime and maybe she will understand if you two are very serious and it is love.
P.S. I do want to say that you should keep your eyes open at all times for any behaviors that may signal that he's only with you for sexual things. I only mentioned this because he touched your butt, which may not be too big of a deal, just want you to keep an eye out because boys can be very pushy sometimes and you don't want to rush into anything.
Sincerely, LagunaBabe
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If you want to date your neighbor, you need to ask your mother. Sneaking around her back will get you into trouble, and unless you want to be punished, you need to come forth and tell her. Give her reasons why this might be good for you. Don't complain, whine, yell, etc because if you do, your argument won't be heard & you'll be shut down. If you can't be mature about it, you won't have a good chance of getting what you want.
Aside from that, if you want to ask him out, you can. He may like you, but may not ask you want just because you want him to. If you want something done right, do it yourself. Also, boys touching your butt outside of a relationship isn't flirting, it's sexual harassment. It's not really something you should brag about or be proud of.
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First of all I don't think you should start by hiding it from your mom. She may not like it, but its not good to start any relationship based on lying. No matter how old you are!
I'm not going to say you are to young to know what love is. I do want to want you to understand though, that love is much more than sex. 13 year old boys, no offense to the one you like, often look for someone who will allow sex. Don't fall into that trap. You want a guy to love you for who you are, not what they can get. Touching your butt isn't really flirting. Its seeing what he can get away with. :)
Dating someone at your age is very hard. Nobody can drive, parents have to chauffeur you anywhere that isn't in walking distance. I see nothing wrong with you inviting him over for a movie, or out to do something. It might be best to wait for him to make the first move though. I'm kinda old fashioned. :) Let him know you are interested. He may already know, or think he does. Let him know he is right. If he mentions doing something, say something like.."That sounds like fun, maybe we can do that (see a movie or whatever) together sometime." Let him know you would go out with him if he asked.
Good luck!
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Well, at least you know he isn't lying about his age. Because touching someone's ass is an entirely 13-year-old move and one that if I tried on my friends, would get me a slap in the face. A much deserved slap in the face.
You're not in love with him. You're 13. The end. But hey, look on the bright side; there's a level of emotion and connection that's beyond what you're experiencing now. Why limit yourself by claiming this is love?
Anyway, I don't have much advice to give, mostly because you're 13. "Date" him if you want. I'm not sure what your mom is so worried about, considering you both can't "go out" without your parents' help anyway. So yea, if you're so into him, hang out with him, do whatever you consider to be dating with him, and that's that. Just realize that when things fall apart, you'll both have to be able to move forward.
Just don't show each other your private parts and all should go well.
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You may absolutely hate my advice but it's as honest as I can be about this.
You don't need to hide something like this from your mother. I know it sounds a little silly since she already said no about it but you should be mature and discuss this with her before making any steps towards dating this boy. Explain to your mother that you were even considering doing this behind her back. Yeah, that might be a shock to her but remind her by saying, "But then I just knew I had to really talk to you about this because I feel so strongly towards seeing this boy on more than a friendship level. I need your support, advice, and guidance when it comes to dating and if I see him then I will need you to help me get through all of the ups and downs of normal, healthy relationships..."
That's about as mature and grown-up as you can be about this situation to your mother. Chances are she might be upset at first but will calm down and act rationally. You're coming to her because you don't want to betray her but want to follow your heart. She will listen, at least, and if you are seriously mature enough to handle a real relationship then she will be able to see that and might even help you plan you first date out. Give her some credit. She just doesn't want to see you hurt--but she's right, in a way. Chances are you will go through heartache and breakups and will need her help to get through them. Let your mom know.
Next...
Do you really want a guy to be touching on you without your say-so? Really. How unclassy is that? To me, that screams no respect. Sure, maybe the first idea is, "Oh, wow...he touched my butt! YEAH! HE LIKES IT!" but then it's...uh...hello! You two weren't being all flirty-flirty and he thought you were easy enough that you'd let him get a good feel-up on you without your permission?
Now, I'm not saying that this guy is a loser. I'm saying you need to really discuss this issue before going any further with him. Chances are he doesn't really know how to flirt with a girl properly without looking like a total jerk or sleezebag. You're not a slut. He can't just feel you up whenever he's in the mood. Not good flirting technique. You should confront him about this in a non-aggressive way though.
"NAME, the other day I noticed you grabbed my ass when we were walking home. I really do like you. I do. I have strong feelings for you. That wasn't appropriate though. I know you asked me out before but it isn't right to just touch me like that when you feel like it. We're 13."
Yeah, because you are 13. You don't want to give him the wrong impression even if you are madly in love with him. Make him have some respect for you as a person. It would have been different if he was verbally flirting with you and felt you were really "into" the conversation enough to physically flirt with you too...but that isn't the reality of it. Verbal flirting comes before physical flirting unless you're selling yourself, pretty much.
Steps:
Talk to your mom.
Talk to the boy.
Ask out the boy for planned date.
Begin mature, healthy relationship.
You can be in love at 13 so don't let that idea keep you down. You just need to be mature enough to handle love and relationships at 13. A lot of 13 year old girls don't know what it even means to be respected or cared about by another person, let alone a 13 year old boy. I was 13 once so I know what I'm saying...and at 13 I wouldn't have wanted to hear this either (but it's so true).
It wasn't a long question, by the way ;) no need to apologize. I'm a long-winded person (obviously) so it seemed pretty short to me.
I hope everything turns out to be OK. Remember to take little steps in the relationship. Start with exchanging phone numbers and calling each other every few days. Go out to the movies, dinner, or minigolf (something fun) once a week or once every two weeks while you get to know each other on a more intimate level (not intimate as in sex but intimate as in relationship bond between boyfriend/girlfriend). There's no need to rush passed kissing to groping, feeling-up, oral sex, or anything else for a while because you are a growing woman still and you don't need the emotional baggage that stuff can create.
I wish you well and hope everything goes perfectly.
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Well my method for attracting boys has always been to flirt with them until they asked me out. First of all, I think it says more about their character if they have the balls to ask you out, especially if you rejected them the first time. Second, it's kind of traditional for the guy to ask the girl out haha it seems stupid but in my book, that's just how it goes. Anyways, that might be the one thing that is keeping him from asking you out again, because you said no the first time. No one likes to get rejected, so perhaps he just fears rejection again. So I still don't suggest you ask him out. I think you should keep flirting with him MAJORLY. DON'T let up! When you guys talk, do you ever get into discussions about who the other person likes? You should definitely bring it up if you haven't because that is a major sign that someone likes you, and hopefully he isn't completely oblivious so he will catch on ;) So my answer is just flirt with him a lot...if you are already doing so, turn it up even more! Also, don't worry about hiding it from your mom...she'll find out when she does and she'll still love you. Adults expect teenagers to screw up so it probably won't come as much of a surprise if/when she finds out :b Goodluck!!!
-Jess 16/f
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