I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65028
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Hi, I am a 15-year old female, that is in love with another girl. I am bi, and like my closest friends know about our relationship, but i don't want to let everyone know. We broke up because she says I am ashamed of her, but it's that I'm ashamed of my actions, but I love ha, how can I get over the fear of being classified as being "gay". please help because I want my girlfriend back (link)
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It must be very difficult for you because of all the prejudice and discrimination out there for people who are homosexual and you have my sympathies. However, the best thing you can do in the face of adversity is laugh in its face.
If you really love this girl and you are attracted to women then why hide in the shadows about it? If you do this now, people will only beat you down more when they do find out. Your feelings and your actions are nothing to be ashamed of. It may not be considered conventional but this doesn't make it wrong.
Rather than hiding yourself and your relationship from everyone, let everyone see you. Those who are worth knowing will be pleased for you because you are in love - whoever that is with - and those who don't care about you aren't worth wasting your time on. So go out there, let people know that you are bisexual and proud of it. People will probably class you as being gay but the fact is, you half are, that is why it is called bisexual. So tell people. Tell them you do also think men are attractive but you are in love with another girl. From there onwards, just let word spread and when people make comments, it is normally because they are actually intrigued. It is lack of knowledge that causes prejudice. So give them answers. Don't go to lengths to flout your relationship with this girl but act as you normally would.
Please don't hide away because I'm sure it will only make you unhappy in the long run. Be who you are and be proud of that person. Most of all, don't risk losing someone you love over this.
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How can I boost my matabilisum or however you spell it (link)
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Exercise is the best way to boost your metabolism. It needs to be cardiovascular exercise, for example, skipping, running, fast walking, cycling or swimming. Make sure that you do these two to three times a week for around 30-40 minutes. This should boost your metabolism but it is a commitment and if you don't keep doing it, it will slow down again over time.
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So this guy I'm seeing came over last night and we were just making out when he takes his hand, puts it between my legs and starts rubbing me. Well, I usually wouldn't have a problem with it but it seemed as if he didn't know what he was doing. Not doing it in the right spot AT ALL.
I tried taking his hand and put it where I wanted it but somehow it'd always end up in the wrong spot again.
So after that happened, I took his hand off of my crotch and didn't let him do it any more.
Now, he thinks I made him stop because I wasn't comfortable with it. Should I let him think that or should I tell him the truth?
(link)
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Honestly? It will be difficult to do but you have got to tell him the truth. If you don't, not only will he continue to make the same mistake with you but this poor misguided lad's attentions will be poorly inflicted upon every subsequent girlfriend! By telling him that he's not quite doing it correctly, you're not only helping yourself but you're really also helping him and any future girlfriends.
However, be nice about it. I mean supernice. Guys, especially when they are just starting out with bedroom antics are very self-conscious, in general. Put it too crassly and he'll feel embarrassed and humiliated and you won't see him for dust! So perhaps next time he tries, stop kissing him for a second and just gently tell him how you like it. Tell him where to go and what to do when he gets there. Then make a REALLY big deal about it when he gets it right, so that he feels encouraged to do it again.
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Ren, my childhood friend, who has loved me since ever, is unstoppable. He always wants me to be his girlfriend since we were little, which is kind of impossible, because I'm so busy and not interested in that kind of relationship. But then he started it,
Since he can't have me, he starts going out with these girls and dump them in a day or an hour, just to hurt their feelings. I told him to stop, but all he said was,"I'll stop if you can be mine." some of those girls are my friends, and I feel sorry for them. He keeps doing it to other girls, and no one can ever stop him. He thinks by doing that, he is hurting me, because he has weakness: I don't know why, but he can never hurt me by any means. This is so sad, and those girls really like him. What should I do? I still am busy and tired of his behaviour... Please help... (link)
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I cannot believe that this guy can be so callous and unfeeling as to do this to innocent bystanders. I'm sorry to say this but this is certainly not the sort of person you should EVER be in a relationship with, as he clearly has no respect at all for women and if he really did love you properly, he would never do anything to try to upset you.
Really, the only thing you can do is try to have a serious talk to him once and for all and the lay down the law. Tell him that you aren't interested in him in that way and that showing he has no respect for women is NOT the way to a woman's heart. If he carries on the way he is, not only will he end up without you but without anyone at all and he will be miserable and lonely. Finally, tell him that you're sorry he feels bad about it, but you don't think you will ever feel that way about him because there's just no chemistry there.
After this, I would really recommend that you are careful. While setting him straight is the best thing to do, this guy is showing very worrying behaviour and I'm concerned about what his reaction may be. So make sure that when you tell him this, you go with someone nearby and that your parents/friend/etc are aware of the situation. If he does ANYTHING that could be construed as harassment or any other such behaviour, make sure you record it and inform the police immediately.
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my boyfriend(19) and I(18) have been together over 2 months and he suggested sleeping together this weekend. We're both virgins but we discussed contraception etc and i do feel ready for it but my university entrance exams are in two weeks and are the most important exams i will ever do. I think ill be too stressed to be able to enjoy it and id like to wait til after the exams. (a month or so) he says he doesnt mind and ive said id like to do other stuff with him but i still feel as if an innocence is gone from our relationship and its made me very depressed.I feel like the issue is hanging in the air and that sex is all that matters.How can I clear the air?please help,i cant study properly for exams! (link)
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You really need to focus on your entrance exams and it's good that you see that. I think that due to the emotions involved in having sex for the first time, it probably is best to wait until afterwards to do it for the first time. However, holding off seems to be creating a bit of a burden too.
Here's the thing, if you and your boyfriend really care about each other then you shouldn't have to worry about this. The only thing you can really do is to talk it over with your boyfriend and don't stop until you feel comfortable. The problem is that you just can't put a date on when you will lose your virginity because it puts too much pressure on both individuals. It might be this that is making it so difficult for you right now. It also might be that perhaps you aren't as ready as you thought you were.
Talk it over. The only way to clear the air in relationships is by communication. Once he has reassured you that he really doesn't mind waiting, hopefully you will feel better.
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OK, so i basically wear my hair in a ponytail EVERYDAY. My hair is extremely thick and kinda wavy and it is soooooo fuzzzzzy, a ponytail seems like a managable way to control it. But i am sick of my beloved hair-do and i cant stand to wind another rubberband arounf my precious strands.
The thing is, my hair is O-so fuzzy (none of the serums, conditioners, shampoos or anything work for me) AN my hair is so thick that is kinda sticks out if i wear it down. I need help!!!! Can you give me advice, hairstyles, products or anything to help me excorsice my pony-do? (link)
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I have suffered the same way all my life!! I finally discovered GHD's when I was 17 and used them religiously twice weekly for over two years before the damage caused got too much and I had to stop. The straighteners took out the frizz and it looked great for the first time in at least 9 years but I panicked because nothing else worked!
Then I decided to try embracing my curls, rather than trying to flatten them out and bought Wella Shock Waves Curl Shaping Mousse. I partially dry my hair, comb it through so there aren't any knots, add in a lot of the mousse (it doesn't get sticky or crispy so don't worry about that)and finish drying. It was really frizzy to begin with, due to the damage I had caused with the straighteners but now it just looks tousled and I really like it! So give some mousse a try, if you haven't already and if all else fails, just get some REALLY good straighteners!
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Does anyone have any good ways to get yourself to fall asleep at night? Particularly at slumber parties?
Thanks to anyone who answers :) (link)
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Through problems I won't go into, I am used to sleeping with a lot of noise around me. I'm also scared of the dark so when I moved in with my boyfriend (who ALWAYS sleeps in the dark), I started leaving the television on, just loudly enough so that I could hear it, but I put it on Sleep Timer so it switches off automatically after an hour. You might be able to convince your friends that you'd like to keep watching something while you're lying down and that way you could try to fall asleep. I know it sounds weird but it really helps me!
Also, if I don't want to have the noise of the TV, I sleep with a lava lamp on next to the bed. The lava glowing and going up and down relaxes me to help me sleep and I'm not completely immersed in dark because of the light coming from it.
The only other suggestion I can make is Lavender oil. It's recommended by a large number of people, as it helps to relax you. A lot of shops sell sleep or relax kits and the majority, if not all of these will contain a lavender oil, bath cream, scented spray or some other such substance. Try putting a squirt or two on your pillow or dropping one or two drops of lavender essential oil on a tissue and put it inside your pillow.
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ok so their is this boy we can call him j and i REALLY like him. i am thinking about going out with him but my parents would freak out because hes mixed (white and black) and im white. their not racest or anything. they just disagree with me going out with a black/mixed/any race other then white person because they think that putting mixed children situation is wrong. i of coarce STRONGLY disagree! i think that it shouldnt matter what race you are. so as i was saying i want to go out with j but should i really go agenst what my parents say AND not tell them im going out with j?
what should i do??
please HELP! (link)
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I'm sorry but your parents are being racist in their opinions. I'm pleased to hear this isn't an opinion you share.
In most cases, people are racist because they are ignorant. They believe there is something bad about all people of a particular colour, or at least most and they might be concerned about you dating someone of a racist they do not trust as a result.
The worst thing you can do is to date him in secret because it immediately gives off the impression that you are doing something wrong and trying to hide it. The fact is that there is nothing wrong with dating someone of colour and they need to understand this so here's what I suggest you do. Invite him round for dinner. I know it's not something you will really want to do but trust me on this. Invite him round for dinner but just ask your parents if you can have a friend over. Don't tell them anything more, except perhaps a name. Once he gets there, they will have to treat him like anyone else and it is his chance to give them a good impression. Do warn him beforehand that they have issues with things like this but tell him that you don't care about it. This way, if your parents do allow anything callous or racist to slip out, he will already expect it.
As long as he is pleasent, polite mannered and makes it clear that he wants to treat you well, I doubt very much they will be able to maintain their convictions against him and you should be free to date him.
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A guy asked me to go to the movies with him this Friday and I said yes. Well we were talking and he asked me if I was going to bring anything with me. I was thinking, "Hm...I thought this was a date?" So I told him that I wasn't planning to but I will if he brings someone. So we decided that we both were bringing someone. Then, about 10 min. later he said that he'd really like it if we went alone. So at that point I was just like, "Uh, wtf? Does this guy not know what he wants?"
Well, I've talked to him for at least an hour and half each day since Monday and now I don't think that I really like him. Like, at all. Not even as someone I'd hang out with as friends.
So my question is, do you think it's too late to cancel? Or would it be rude of me to cancel the day before? I was also thinking about saying that I want to bring a friend after all. What do you guys think?
(link)
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Okay, here's what I think happened. He asked you out to the movies but then after thinking about it, realised he didn't specify it was a date and was worried you only said yes because you didn't know it was. Worried about this and too scared to ask, he asked if you were bringing someone and when you said you were, he thought you didn't like him so agreed to bring someone too. He finally worked up the courage to make it clear was a date so told you that he would prefer if you could both go alone.
It sounds to me as though that is probably what happened. He knows what he wants but is too scared to ask right out.
As for your change of feelings towards him, I would suggest that you go out with him. The reason you aren't so sure now is probably because of the way you felt he was messing you around. Give the guy a chance and he may end up being someone you really care about.
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okay well theres this girl and im friends w/ her and all but lately shes been getting on my last nerve and she never botherd me befor just now that my best friend (whom is a guy) is like in love with her its been bugging me i mean she says shes fat and ugly and all this other crap and shes not shes like freaking perfect and i think its becuse i a little jelouse that he kinda ignores me for her but yea i dont no what to do i kinda wanna hit her. but she doesnt no any of this and im not about to tell her how i feel. so yea idk she keeps saying shit like i rub in that i went out w/ him and blah blah blah. and she even had the nerve to say im the reason they broke up and still like each other i dont no can someone help me pleaseeee (link)
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I know that it's difficult to be in a situation like this. Perhaps there's a part of you deep down that thought because you and this guy were best friends, you would get together at some point and now she has taken that chance away from you? I could be wrong about this but it's a theory.
The situation is really very simple but the outcome is going to be tough on you. You've already said you are jealous but you need to learn to deal with it properly because at the moment it's just building up inside you. The chances are that as far as she is concerned, she IS fat and she IS ugly. Lots of attractive, thin people think that about themselves and no amount of reassurance will take those concerns away so please don't dwell on this. She isn't doing it to make you feel bad. The bottom line is that if she likes him and he likes her, there's really nothing that you can do. Perhaps you want to stop being friends with her for a time if it's this hard on you but if that's the case, you really do need to explain to her why because she will have picked up on how you feel and won't be able to understand why. Explain that you think you're just jealous and you're sorry if you haven't been pleasent to her lately but the situation is a little more difficult for you to handle than you expected.
After this, there's precious little you can do. Please try to get on with her because if this guy really likes her and you treat her badly, you will lose him too.
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Oh my gosh, my parents are making me go to this filthy dirty restaurant with this ugly bitches who they call "their friends." Everytime I go out to eat with them, they start making fun of my and I lose my temper and I wanna punch the shit outta them. (They are 50.) And this restaurant is soo bad. I can't even enjoy the food. What can I say/do to my mom so I don't have to go!!!??? I need major help. I'm not wasting a Friday night at an old restaurant with a bunch of old people. And don't say to get a baby sitter or stay home alone, or that will be a 1. Thanks in advance! I rate 5's for REAL answers.
(link)
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I know it's horrible to have to spend time around parent's friends, especially when you're in your teens. Mainly because ALL parents and friends of parents do what yours are doing to you. It's not a personal thing as far as they are concerned. It's more of a defence mechanism because they don't know how to relate to you. Because of this, they tease you in what they probably think is a light hearted manner but to you is more like vicious teasing.
There's really nothing you can do to stop them doing this because as far as they are concerned, they aren't doing anything wrong and it probably hasn't even occurred to them that you are upset about this. You have two options
1)Tell your Mum that you don't want to go, risk getting in a huge fight, end up going and sit there getting angrier and angrier all night.
2)Accept they don't mean to upset you, go along and try to laugh at yourself a little bit. Or, if it stings too much, tell them it hurts your feelings when they joke about that.
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This guy at school has been calling me really mean names such as a fucking bitch and a skank. I found out about it and I was really mad but I just let it go. Then, he started calling me it again so I went up to him and asked him politely to stop. Then, he now did it a THIRD time. I'm just really mad now and I feel there's nothing I can do exept tell the teacher. If I tell my teacher, he could get expelled from the school because my principal is REALLY big about harrasment. I'm not sure if I want him to get in trouble. But I'm sick of him making fun of me. Do you think I should tell a teacher? And why? (link)
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I understand how you feel and you must be a very caring and compassionate person to be concerned about him after what he has done to you. That is very admirable.
The problem is that maybe you are being TOO nice about it. I know it might sound harsh but the fact is that more than anything else, this guy needs to learn that he just can't treat other people like this. It's not decent behaviour and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.
At the end of the day, we all have to learn to accept the consequences to our actions and the only way he will do this is if you do something about it. So be brave, stand up and say something. You deserve to be treated with some respect.
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Ok..my teacher and I are very close. He teaches art. Well..we have a very good teacher and student relationship. But..lately it seems like we're getting closer..like over the student and teacher boundary. I kno im falling for him..its difficult not to..hes soo smart and talented. He's 24..im 17..and..i think we both "know"..these feelings are real...is this wrong? and have u heard of a situation similar? HELP (link)
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I know this must be difficult and as someone who has had crushed on teachers before, I understand that it's sometimes hard to hide your feelings but the bottom line of this situation is that he is your teacher. If you had a relationship beyond that, he could (and most likely would) lose his job. You would also be expelled.
I don't know how much longer you are going to be attending your school but if you really do care about each other and it is more than just a crush, please don't do anything until after you have left school. Even then, there may be difficulties but as far as I am aware, a teacher cannot be persecuted for dating an ex-student.
For the meantime, I strongly recommend that you push your feelings for him to one side, as you need to focus on your education anyway and no good can come from your feelings right now.
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Ok here is the thing, my friend and her boyfriend started having sex about 6 maybe 7 mounths ago, and i do not have any problems with that. But since then she has thought she might be pregant 4 times! Im scared that she might not be careful untill she becomes pregant. Her boyfriend told her that if she ever did become pregant then he would leave her. I don't vare if she has sex, i just don't want her to another 15 year old girl who becomes pregant. Do you think i should but in because, everytime she calls saying she needs me to come over so she I can read the pregancy results, i tell her that she lucky that she's not, and she should start useing protection. she says she doesn't need it cuz she is on the pill. should I but in, or should i just be the friend that warns her,then reads the results, tell her she lucky and that she should protection? (link)
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Unfortunately, there isn't a lot you can do or say now that you probably haven't already said to her and if she thinks she is mature enough to have sex, then she should be mature enough to take the proper precautions.
The Pill, depending upon which one you use, is up to 99.9% effective. However, this is only true if you take it correctly and if she keeps having reason to believe she is pregnant then she either isn't taking the Pill correctly or she lied about using it. This being said, as getting pregnant on the Pill is still possible, she ought to use condoms as well (which protect against the STI's and STD's. The Pill does not). This is what the Dutch call going 'Double Dutch' and it provides the best possible contraception.
It is worth bearing in mind (and possibly this is a good thing to mention to her) that although sex might be fantastic by itself, it is primarily for conceiving babies and if she isn't with someone who would be prepared to stay with her or even support her should she accidentally fall pregnant, she shouldn't be having sex with him in the first place, especially underage.
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You know where the pee comes outta? Well, I have a little gray ball that hangs down from it. It's not normal. And I've gotten this little ball, twice. The last time it went away. It hurts, especially when I'm walking. The doctor said it was nothing. Has anyone ever had this or know what I should do. Ahh, last time it took a month for it to go away. Would it have something to do with the underwear I'm using?
I know this is totally gross, but I really need some advice!! =( (link)
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It sounds like it might be something like a polyp, although I have never heard of them being grey before.
I really don't know why your doctor has been saying it is nothing but you really need to go back. It is unlikely to be anything terribly serious (please don't panic, I do know someone who has had a polyp before and they are fine!) but bearing in mind it is not just 'nothing' as the doctor says and it is painful, you really need to harass them until they do something about it.
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Hi everyone, I'd like to hear your perspective(this question is especially for girls but guys are welcome to answer too). My problem is that I feel disgustingly and frighteningly ugly. My own reflection upsets me when I look in the mirror, and I find the idea of sex really scary. I've tried it a couple of times, but the guys I've been with have been really greedy and impatient and made me feel even uglier. They kept on going on about how pretty other girls were, and I think they just wanted me because I'm so insecure. Has anyone else been through this , and come out all right the other end(e.g. in a happy relationship, or just happier with themselves). Some days I don't even want to leave the house, I feel I look so bad.
Thanks in advance(22/f BTW). (link)
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A certain amount of insecurity is normal for almost every individual but to the extent you seem to have it is something I would see as a cause for concern.
There is a condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which causes the sufferer to feel fat/unattractive even though this is not the case. It's not an uncommon condition, especially in this day and age and in severe cases, sufferers either get rid of all mirrors in their home or go to great lengths to avoid looking at their reflection in any way. It is also common to obsessively degrade your looks to yourself.
It might be that you just need an injection of self-esteem but by your description, I would imagine it to be quite likely you suffer from BDD. If you think it's possible this may be the case, have a quick look at the information available on the net and get it confirmed by your doctor. Unfortunately, I don't know what treatment is available but your doctor will be able to make a recommendation, whether it is medication or counselling.
I know this won't help, but if it makes you feel any better, Jennifer Love Hewitt has BDD and if she can be as pretty as she is and still think she is ugly, that should reassure you that you aren't as ugly as you think you are.
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The new guy I'm dating isn't a virgin. We were friends a long time before we started going out, and he'd always tell me about his sexual experiences. I want to save myself for marriage, but I don't care what others do. This isn't about that at all. It's just lately, all the things he's told me he's done with other girls has started rushing back to me and it bothers me. I guess it's some weird jealousy thing, I don't know exactly why I care. He's completely perfect in every way, but his past experience is really holding me back. I realize this is very irrational as most guys have some experience by now (We're both 17) but I can't let go of them. How do I let go of these thoughts? Has anyone had experience with this?
Thanks for your help. (link)
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Oh yes, I have had experience with this!
I had exactly the same situation as you. I was a virgin and good as good can be when I first started dating my boyfriend when I was 18. Didn't drink, smoke, do drugs whereas he had at least tried all of that.
He has told me all about the experiences he has had and I must admit that to begin with, it was VERY hard to get past it. The fact is, when you really care about someone, you don't like to imagine that they have ever been with anyone else because it feels almost as though they have cheated on you.
The thing you have to do is just try to accept his past. I know it's horrible to think of him having been with these other girls but he is with you now and he only wants to be with you right now so make the most of that. Just because he has been with other girls, doesn't mean you have to jump in the sack with him. If he was your friend first, he should understand your intention to remain a virgin until you get married (an intention I greatly admire by the way) and respect this.
There's no immediate solution to letting go of his past but you need to accept that it happened and cannot be changed. In time, you will accept it.
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well I am pretty stressed out with everything like my parents yelling at me and breaking up with my b/f and school so when i was telling my friend about all this she said cutting herself worked for her she told me to try it well i did and it didn't work but i just kept doing it i have a total of 59 cuts on my arm and my other friend found out about it and told my spanish teacher so i am in big trouble what should i do? (link)
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I'm sorry but no real friend would recommend you try self harming. It's the least productive and most dangerous 'solution' to life's problems and with more and more of the teenage population turning to it, people should be discouraging this behaviour.
I'm sorry that it seems like things are going so badly for you right now but this really isn't the answer. Cutting is just a way to temporarily escape what is going on and what you need to do is work out ways to make things better long-term. For example, if you are upset because you aren't doing so well in school, try to put more focus and energy into your school work. Ask for a tutor or some extra help from your teacher. You say your parents are yelling at you. Parents do this but rather than slinking away from it, ask yourself why they are behaving this way. Is there something you can do to make things better? Do more around the house? Not fight with siblings?
Please, PLEASE, stop harming yourself. You're only creating more problems for yourself in the long run and if you want to stop finding things so difficult, you need to face them and work them out, rather than running from them because if you don't do it now, you will be running from problems all your life. Facing up to them takes courage and maturity, which I think you do have.
You can sort everything out but it takes time. If things get difficult, talk to someone. Write something. Keep a diary but don't cut. No point creating so many more issues for yourself in the future when you can just sort the ones that led you to it. Be strong, face up to it. You will be fine and you can cope.
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16/F
By nature I am a shy girl. I have a problem which makes life difficult for me. When I use toilet its a noisy, mean I make loud sounds (louder farts). As I said I am shy in nature so I try to avoid visit toilet when in school or out side home, or I spend too much time sitting on toilet seat trying to avoid or lower the sound or trying to just pass the urine without releasing air. This creates a big problem for me.If you have any advise please.... (link)
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How often are you having this problem? The average adult human releases around around 7 'farts' a day so if it is any more than this, it may be you have a problem with your digestive system. This could be an allergy or it might be you suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. If you suffer from constipation or diarrhoea on a regular basis, it is possible this is what you have.
There are medications that help to dispell the wind which causes your flatulence so try going to a chemist and seeing what is available. If there are any other symptoms, whether it is bowel motions or tiredness or anything along those lines, you should see your doctor to check for any digestive problems.
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i am so freaked out about my upcoming concert. i play piano and the only piece im playing is this five page one with a metranome pace of 144 (ahhhh!). im playing with my school's chorus and on tuesday i have to play in front of the whole school. im playing the real concert for the parents on wednesday but the other one is more important because i have to play amoung my friends, boyfriend, and my boyfriends friends. even when i think about the possibilities of messing up makes me flip out and play the wrong key. all that pressure too! im even nervous typing about it.
my school's chorus isnt so organized and i've only played with the actual chorus 2 times. both of those times my fingers missed a whole chunk of the piece. i think its the 'being in front of people with their eyes on your every move' thing that scares me. its not exactly stage fright but i just want to be good enough for them. and all of these thoughts come to me when i play and it really takes my focus off because the adreniline starts going crazy. i know i tell myself to just play and give it my all but idk.
i have practiced this song so much at home but its different there. my hands get shaky in front of the chorus and that doesnt allow me to move my fingers as smoothly. and guess what else. deep breaths dont help.
is there any like, good luck charms or exercises i can do before i go on? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE you dont know how much this matters.
and i appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this book-long entry. fives to everybody. (link)
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I know exactly how you feel. I used to act on stage at my school and on every occasion I was so terrified I could either barely talk or couldn't shut up before hand!! Believe me, I know how important it is that it goes well.
Here's the thing about performing though. The only thing that will make you mess up is your nerves. I know it seems as though messing up would be the end of the world but think about all those famous musicians out there. They had the exact same issue and even Beethoven probably pressed the wrong keys a few times! The key is to practise and to relax. I know that you say you get a lot of practise at home but you need to ensure that you do so much practise that you could perform the piece blindfolded. With one hand tied behind your back. While hanging upside down! But here's the clincher, you have to see if you can do it at the hall you will be performing it in. I assume from what you have said that the piano is in the hall so sit for a minute quietly in there and shut your eyes. Imagine the sounds of lots of people around you and the chorus singing. Then start playing.
I know that might sound ridiculous but it can help to practise in the environment you will be performing in, so that you are already comfortable with it.
Also, before the performance, try to accept that nerves are an important part of a good performance. Use them to your advantage by accepting that you WILL be nervous but that you know what you are doing. All that nervous energy will go into what I am sure will be an amazing performance.
Please don't worry. Everyone gets nerves before performing in front of other people. It's natural. Just don't let it get to you so badly that you forget to enjoy it. You play the piano presumabley because you like it. Try to remember that. Don't worry too much. You'll do great.
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