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his past experiences
The new guy I'm dating isn't a virgin. We were friends a long time before we started going out, and he'd always tell me about his sexual experiences. I want to save myself for marriage, but I don't care what others do. This isn't about that at all. It's just lately, all the things he's told me he's done with other girls has started rushing back to me and it bothers me. I guess it's some weird jealousy thing, I don't know exactly why I care. He's completely perfect in every way, but his past experience is really holding me back. I realize this is very irrational as most guys have some experience by now (We're both 17) but I can't let go of them. How do I let go of these thoughts? Has anyone had experience with this?
Thanks for your help.
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You're in a tough spot.... and it's hard to let go of the thought that there was someone(s) before you. But what counts is how he is with YOU in your current relationship, not anything before. Even though you don't have much in your past, you wouldn't want him to hold anything against you. It's hard for a girl to let go of the jealousy thoughts in our heads, but try and always treat him with care and respect and hopefully he will treat you the same way. best wishes
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Oh yes, I have had experience with this!
I had exactly the same situation as you. I was a virgin and good as good can be when I first started dating my boyfriend when I was 18. Didn't drink, smoke, do drugs whereas he had at least tried all of that.
He has told me all about the experiences he has had and I must admit that to begin with, it was VERY hard to get past it. The fact is, when you really care about someone, you don't like to imagine that they have ever been with anyone else because it feels almost as though they have cheated on you.
The thing you have to do is just try to accept his past. I know it's horrible to think of him having been with these other girls but he is with you now and he only wants to be with you right now so make the most of that. Just because he has been with other girls, doesn't mean you have to jump in the sack with him. If he was your friend first, he should understand your intention to remain a virgin until you get married (an intention I greatly admire by the way) and respect this.
There's no immediate solution to letting go of his past but you need to accept that it happened and cannot be changed. In time, you will accept it.
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Everyone experiences this sort of thing, I would imagine that it is even worse for you because you have no experience of any kind and you know that he has much more. Maybe there is some jealousy that he has done these things with other girls and not you (even though that isn't want you want), maybe there is some fear that he'll be thinKing of those girls and remembering what he doesn't have now, Maybe you don't think it's fair that when you DO get physically involved, he'll be comparing you and you won't be comparing him. Maybe your afraid he will think of you as naive and childish since you've never done anything and don't want to. It is normal to feel this way, you should voice your feelings though and see what is really going on in his head. Maybe a little reasurrance is all you need, maybe it's a deep conversation. You need to talk about it though, just remember that it's ok to feel the way you do.
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hey, well tell him that you jsut want to stick to making out and other minor stuff like that. dont rush into anythingg. just think that all those girls are going to be pregnaunt by 20 and you, your going to get married first. cait♥
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