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boyfriend,sex and exams!
my boyfriend(19) and I(18) have been together over 2 months and he suggested sleeping together this weekend. We're both virgins but we discussed contraception etc and i do feel ready for it but my university entrance exams are in two weeks and are the most important exams i will ever do. I think ill be too stressed to be able to enjoy it and id like to wait til after the exams. (a month or so) he says he doesnt mind and ive said id like to do other stuff with him but i still feel as if an innocence is gone from our relationship and its made me very depressed.I feel like the issue is hanging in the air and that sex is all that matters.How can I clear the air?please help,i cant study properly for exams!
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Well, to me, sex is as innocent is anything else... you just have to think of it as such. In this case I think it is anyway, because you and your boyfriend seem to love each other and like you're handling this in an intelligent manner. If you're worried about the idea of sex consuming your relationship, just pose that idea with him. Being completely open with him will get so much off your chest, and you should be able to do that anyway if you trust him enough to give your virginity to him. Tell him that while you're all for having sex once the stress lets up, you're afraid in the mean time that the relationship will just become based off of that one silly occasion that probably won't even be that great anyway. (First times never really are). Do romantic things like what you might have done at the beginning of your relationship and try to reinstate that feeling of love and security. If you're still feeling like this by the time you're thinking of having sex, I'd suggest putting it off a little longer.
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As he seems so understanding you need to talk about this. You can't afford to be depressed at this time and i'm sure he would agree.
It may feel as if an innocence has gone from your relationship but it hasn't really, it's still there but it's been caught up in the situation.
The first time should be a wonderful experience, not stressed and rushed.
It's a good idea to wait until after your exams, you've only been together two months so you don't need to be in such a hurry. There are other things you can do in the meantime.
I would suggest you relax, study, take your exams and then give your boyfriend your full attention after all the exam pressure is over. You will both enjoy it more and you may find that after talking openly about it, the waiting becomes exciting in itself.
Hope that helps and good luck with the exams.
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You really need to focus on your entrance exams and it's good that you see that. I think that due to the emotions involved in having sex for the first time, it probably is best to wait until afterwards to do it for the first time. However, holding off seems to be creating a bit of a burden too.
Here's the thing, if you and your boyfriend really care about each other then you shouldn't have to worry about this. The only thing you can really do is to talk it over with your boyfriend and don't stop until you feel comfortable. The problem is that you just can't put a date on when you will lose your virginity because it puts too much pressure on both individuals. It might be this that is making it so difficult for you right now. It also might be that perhaps you aren't as ready as you thought you were.
Talk it over. The only way to clear the air in relationships is by communication. Once he has reassured you that he really doesn't mind waiting, hopefully you will feel better.
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just talk to him about it. these feelings might be a sign that you aren't ready to take it to that level, but if you truly are and he loves you, he won't have a problem waiting a few weeks. i'm not trying to tell you what to do, but you have only been together for 2 months. if this is a lasting relationship you have plenty of time for it to happen.
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Communication is the foundation to a good relationship. If you feel that there is no longer innocents in your relationship then talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and hopefully he will understand all that you've said, and you both can come to a compromise
-BlackBatman-
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Breath... relax... just calm down, everything will be alright... Well, since you can't get your mind out of it, then talk to him first. Just make it clear... It's just your feelings, it's okay... don't think about it too much... ^_^ Just study and be happy... (though I don't know how both can go together...)
You just feel gulty because you turn him down, but it's okay... Don't be stressed while you have to study...
I hope I've helped. I really hope I have.
Hope you'll feel better...
Wish you the best luck
Everything will be alright...
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