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should i go agenst my parents wishes?
ok so their is this boy we can call him j and i REALLY like him. i am thinking about going out with him but my parents would freak out because hes mixed (white and black) and im white. their not racest or anything. they just disagree with me going out with a black/mixed/any race other then white person because they think that putting mixed children situation is wrong. i of coarce STRONGLY disagree! i think that it shouldnt matter what race you are. so as i was saying i want to go out with j but should i really go agenst what my parents say AND not tell them im going out with j?
what should i do??
please HELP!
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I'm sorry but your parents are being racist in their opinions. I'm pleased to hear this isn't an opinion you share.
In most cases, people are racist because they are ignorant. They believe there is something bad about all people of a particular colour, or at least most and they might be concerned about you dating someone of a racist they do not trust as a result.
The worst thing you can do is to date him in secret because it immediately gives off the impression that you are doing something wrong and trying to hide it. The fact is that there is nothing wrong with dating someone of colour and they need to understand this so here's what I suggest you do. Invite him round for dinner. I know it's not something you will really want to do but trust me on this. Invite him round for dinner but just ask your parents if you can have a friend over. Don't tell them anything more, except perhaps a name. Once he gets there, they will have to treat him like anyone else and it is his chance to give them a good impression. Do warn him beforehand that they have issues with things like this but tell him that you don't care about it. This way, if your parents do allow anything callous or racist to slip out, he will already expect it.
As long as he is pleasent, polite mannered and makes it clear that he wants to treat you well, I doubt very much they will be able to maintain their convictions against him and you should be free to date him.
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First of all, what you just described is racism. To have a problem with you going out with someone because of what their skin color is, is being racist. Anyways..to answer your question; I'm all for respecting your parents and what they tell you to do as long as it isnt morally or legally wrong. Maybe you should try talking with your parents about it. Explain to them that you don't agree with what they are telling you, and that you might be interested in dating people who aren't white. Let them know that you do respect their opinion, which is why you are coming to them, but you also have your own opinions and ideas on how to live your life. That might get them to respect your decision, and also feel less betrayed if you ever did go out with j. If it doesn't work, and you really like the guy then I guess go behind their back.
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hey, well if you feel comfortable lying/hiding it to/from your parents then go out with him. but if you feel the need to tell them then just have them meet him! cait♥
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You say they aren't racist but if they would care at all regarding his race then clearly they are racist to some degree. If you make a decision to not date him based on his skin color (no matter why, even if it's just to appease your family) then guess what that makes you? Yep. You would be inheriting their racist attitude. Is that the person you want to be?
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..forget about your parents opinion.they think (probably) that "oh..he's part black he must be a thug"(very steo-typical.)hmmm..which isn't the case( i doubt..)it really shouldnt matter the race,and if you like him then nothing in this world will change that,your parents have an opinion and so do you.you said they disagree,but they cant forse you to stay away from him(well,i dont really know your parents..but keep it on the down low if u go out w/ him)i think you should go against your parents on this one..i no you really,really like him,but its not like this will be "to the end forever and ever,no matter what"they have to accept the people you go out with,they're being to jugemental.you just have to,well,not tell them if you want 2 go out with him..some things aren't ment to be told to parents..this is one.
anyways,good luck and i hope things turn out rite!!!!
<<3
xdarkdesirex
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It's your decision. If you really like him, go out with him. If your guilt is going to get in the way however, it might not be a good idea. If I were you, I would go out with him and after a week or so, I would tell my parents. I would say something like, "I want to be completely honest with you. I am going out with J. You can't help who you like, and I won't break up with him because of your inter-racial beliefs. How would you feel in my place?" Just make sure when telling your parents you act mature, therefore they know you are serious, and will take you seriously. Good luck and I hope this helps.
-cindy <3
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The choice is totally up to you. If your going to feel guilty while your going out with him, I suggest not doing it because you'll feel bad you know?
But if you dont really care what your parents think, go for it. Race shoulden't matter, your right...sadly your parents dont think that. So just do what you want if you dont care about your parents not knowing.
I think eventually they'll find out though, you'll have to think about things like, how are you going to go on dates and stuff? Plus other kids at your school knowing, stuff like that. Things might just slip out.
So be careful and have fun!
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