Gender:
FemaleLocation:
Washington stateOccupation:
RetiredAge:
64Member Since:
April 24, 2013Answers:
7093Last Update:
October 11, 2025Visitors:
128517Favorite Columnists
solidadvice4teens
Hollywood22
adviceman49
GiddyGeezer
Razhie
kittenlover2000
Grandfather
rosalee
missundersmock
teehigh
gr8fruit
more...
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
General Sex Questions
View All
about
Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
Hi 15/F. So a few weeks ago me and "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ best friend made plans to go and drink some milkshake ((just us 2 because she and her bf would be togheter the whole wEekend)) and she braught him with so *̩ told her he can't allways come with us when we want to do girl stuff and we were °̩n a huge fight. A few weeks later we made up and a week later she and her bf broke up. Its been 3 days since and she already have a new one ((21y old! *̩ keep telling her its to old)) so we decided to go play hockey and chill and again she wanted to bring him with and *̩ said no so she told me her mother said no she couldn't come. So *̩ found out so didn't even ask her and that she and her new bf *̩s going to play paintball. ps. She swore she would never do it again. Any help??
Fact is that some people have no idea how to balance all the relationships in their life. Some are addicted to the feelings one gets in a new relationship and go from one to the next. While intoxicated by these feelings, which is like being on a high with drugs because it is an actual addiction for some, the person spends 100% of their time with that one person and drops all other relationships. This energy wears off after a while, in weeks or a few months and if the couple are fairly stable and happy emotionally, at this point they pick up again relationships like family and friends that they dropped previously. At this age range (in the teens) young people may continue to repeat the same thing, remaining stuck, ignoring friends because frankly they still are emotionally immature yet. Our brains aren\'t fully done growing to adult maturity until our mid twenties. So the sad news is that it could take that long for her to mature and realize what she\'s doing to you and really care. It could happen sooner, or perhaps never. If you\'ve had a boyfriend before, you know that you can feel like this do for a while in the beginning to where you exclude others for a short while as you focus just on your boyfriend. If it hasn\'t happened to you, perhaps it will one day. Then you\'ll understand how the draw to be with a boyfriend can be so strong to cause you to leave others out of your life, swear you wont do it again and yet do.
There\'s isn\'t anything you can do but be willing to accept her back as a friend once she comes to her senses.
I do have a suggestion for a little different action you might take in this situation than you\'ve already done, or with any situations in the future where you don\'t like what someone close to you, family or friend is doing. You are stating your frustrations in a way where you are \'telling\' her what she can and can\'t do. Perhaps you didn\'t but thats what you stated twice in your message. No teen or adult likes being told what to do by someone else. Most people what the choice to make their own decisions, whether they are the best or not, rather than giving up their decision making rights over to the control of another...which is not a healthy relationship dynamic for either to be engaging in. I hope this helps give perspective on whats going on and why there really isn\'t anything you can do to change it.
I am a female aged 21 and have recently started going out with a guy who regularly calls me a slut, whore, worthless and tells me how he doesn't trust me around any males but yet he tells me he has never loved anyone the way he loves me and he wants to marry me.
Long story short I went out with a guy for 2 years and he broke it off with me as he had been seeing another girl. A month later I had sex with one of my older friends (he knew my ex). A month after that I got back with my boyfriend.
We lasted for a year until I ended it with him for reasons of no trust etc due to what he had done before. About a month later I had sex with the same friend again.
I told my current boyfriend about my past history and he finds it very hard to deal with. He constantly tells me how he can't trust me around anyone. He asks me to send him photos of where I am every half an hour so he knows I'm not lying about my whereabouts.
He sends me messages such as (sorry for the vulgarity in some of these messages):
I bet you looked at his nice hard c*ck and loved it
You f*cked a guy who knew your ex
You wanted him to f*ck you
I find it funny that you aspire to be a mother one day
You really are a dirty sl*t
You used to deserve to get treated better but now you don't
You ruined yourself by f*cking him
Stop saying you're not a sl*t and face up to what you are
You f*cked up and you have to face the consequences
You are a disgraceful human
You are a f*cking whore
You just wanted his c*ck inside you
Do I deserve to get messages like this? I have only had sex or done any sexual activities with my ex, my friend and now my current boyfriend so I always thought I was a very good person.
He also has issues with the amount of guys that I have kissed which is 12. He hates that I have kissed three guys that I met on nights out (separate nights). One I dated for a while but the other two I never spoke to again.
I don't know whether I just hung around with people with no morals but I thought up until now that I was well behaved.
Do I deserve to get treated like this?
I\'m with Annie on everything she said. I was in a verbally abusive relationship. It doesnt get better, I can say that from experience.
Some guys can\'t handle knowing their girl has a past and it stems from him having a low self esteem. I had a first husband who had a fear of loss issue, starting in childhood when his mom almost died. He saw it as a female important to him was going to abandon him, even though it never happened. He approached all women this way, prophesying that all women would eventually abandon/leave him. He would treat me bad enough in hopes it would cause me to leave him so that his prophecy could come true. Pretty twisted huh? Whats what his counselor discovered. He\'d done the same with previous girlfriends. There is nothing a female can do to prove such a person wrong. Some of his actions to get me to fulfill his warped prophecys were to verbally abuse me, order me around, not giving me a choice, but dance to his tune, humiliating me in public, but not much of the controlling yours is doing. All this type of treatment of another human being let alone girlfriend is not normal. Many of these actions point to some kind of mental disorder or mental illness. You do not need to change at all. And you do not deserve this kind of treatment, no one does! He needs to go see a psychologist! And you dear, need to cut things off, as hard as it may be, let time heal any heart connections you have to him. But trust me, this isn\'t going to get better. In my case, I saw no progress, and in talking with his dr. was told that few people going for treatment improve, many may change very little in their lifetime and some perhaps never at all. I could not face after 30 yrs of living this way, to live any 30 years like that, and left and divorced. I hope it doesnt take you as long as it took me to see that the only remedy is to leave him. But in order for that to happen, you need to love yourself enough to not want to subject yourself to any treatment like this, not for any reason, not a boyfriend, not from a relative/family member, not from a boss at work, etc... If you feel that in some way there may be truth to what he says about you, then I advise you to get in for counseling for yourself.
Ok I'm 11 and I have a crush but I don't know if he likes me I ask him and he won't tell me what am I doing wroungh
You are the one crushing on him. Just because that is the case doesn\'t mean he necessarily feels exactly the same, having a crush on you too. He may be just friendly as a fellow classmate or even just a friend but not be attracted to you as a boyfriend. This is life! So in all likelihood, you may not be doing anything wrong so your question to him just confuses him and so he says nothing at all because he really can\'t point out anything wrong.
Lets say the roles were reversed. Some guy whom you are not interested in romantically has had a crush on you forever. He walks up to you one day and asks you, what am I doing wrong? When I pay attention to you, you don\'t respond to me in return as if you\'d like to be my girlfriend? How would you answer that?
Now if you just weren\'t clear in explaining to me and he\'s someone you\'ve crushed on and he has done things like smile at you alot and say hi to you and find excuses to be near you or paid attention to you by teasing you, or finding reasons to accidently touch you, then he does like you. At this age, girls and guys dont know much how to pick up these kinds of clues. And even fewer are bold enough to say that they like someone or are attracted to them. So if he\'s giving off real signs but not asking you to hang out with him or date him, then its probably due to not knowing how to. If this is truly the case that he is acting like a guy interested in you, then theres no reason you can\'t just ask him out first which he\'d jump at the chance and say yes if he thinks about you that way. If you read the signs wrong, and he says no...then at least you tried. Learn from these venturings into attractions, interacting with guys and dating and you\'ll be ahead of the game.
I'm not sure what is the right thing to do. I'll be honest, I know a lot of people don't like my boyfriend. We're both 22. He's difficult, can be very blunt/honest, which seems mean, and he went through a period last couple months when he was depressed; you know how it is to be around people who are depressed. He hasn't exactly been the funnest to be around. He lost a lot of his friends and even my friends know that he wasn't doing well. A couple of times that he was at my friends house he sort of acted antisocial and sat in the corner. They told me this was annoying and created a poor atmosphere and that they miss hanging out with just me. I told them he was having a hard time, and they seemed to understand, told me to talk to him about it. There was also a conversation we had unrelated to him in which they told me that they didn't want me to invited random people to their house unless I asked.
Now about the event, these same friends who are two sisters and one other girl just graduated. Their family of the two sisters who are good friends of mine is in town and the day of their graduation they invited me to a party at their house after, the same day last minute. Since I asked who was going and they said them their family and boyfriends and our other friend I didn't think twice about not going with my boyfriend (since I had already made plans with him before they invited me and felt bad telling him to go home because I had other plans). I talked to him before and he promised he wouldn't act antisocial or badly. Well I live 30 minutes away and it was 10pm at night when they said to come over, I already was tired but I thought these are my good friends, I'll go for them. We started driving and as soon as we got there we were about to walk upstairs and they found out I was with him and told me that they never invited him and they thought I was clear not to bring people over without asking them.
This is true I should have asked, but I honestly thought they were talking about random people not my boyfriend who I do a lot of things with. I knew they felt like he was kind of creating a bad time but I didn't think they didn't want him around. I told them that. And then told them I could turn around if it was a big deal. And they responded "We didn't think we had to spell it out for you, we don't want him here because of what we talked about before and my family is here so you can come but not with him" so I had to turn around and drive back home 30 minutes lost a total of an hour and my feelings are really hurt. I would never do that to someone.
Am I wrong? Were they wrong? I'm not sure how to feel... Yes I understand it is their party and I should have asked, but I can't help but feel really upset that I drove there for them and they told me to leave. I know he's not the most fun person, but he is not an asshole, he is not disrespectful to other people. He is just quiet and doesn't talk that much because he is not that happy in his life. He doesn't want to be this way. He has made progress and he is afraid of ending up alone because people don't like him. He just has a hard time with relationships, but he is a good person. I feel like I am losing my friends because of this, it is really frustrating and I'm not sure how I should respond to what my friends did. Talk to them, don't talk to them, what is the best thing to say to them, should I let them know in upset and what is the best way to talk to them about it? I could really use an outsiders advice on what seems right....
Hello there,
You said, \"There was also a conversation we had unrelated to him in which they told me that they didn\'t want me to invited random people to their house unless I asked.\" What you didn\'t realize is that what was actually happening is that the request they made was related to him totally...or they never would have made that request. They were stuck in a tough spot. There was no way to be tactful and not hurt your feelings. So instead of pulling you aside without him around and coming right out and saying,\"Hey we really hate to have to say this cus we really like you and dont want to hurt you, but we really don\'t like having your boyfriend come over to our place, they choose to allude to it, just hinting at it. They could have said, \"So if we invite you over we want you to ask us if it\'s okay to bring him over.\" \"But if their answer would always be no, no matter what, they shouldn\'t be asking you to ask first, but be truthful and tell you not to bring him. I figure the reason they weren\'t truthful is they felt saying that would damage the friendship you all have.
No matter how they told you, I\'ll bet you would have been hurt and angry.
Now if you and these girls were all invited by a third party to an event and you asked and it was okay to bring a guest with you and you weren\'t given any restrictions as to who you could bring, then if these girlfriends were not comfortable would not be in a position to request he leave, because it\'s not their house, they would have to leave instead if it bothered them that much.
People should have a choice of whom they have enter their house. So it is bad manners to not ask if you can bring anyone else. A simple, \"Does that invite include my boyfriend?\" Would suffice. Even if you didn\'t have him for a boyfriend, if you were invited to anyones home and did not ask if you could bring a guest, that is impolite. Some people may not have any problem at all even with someone like him and would just let him sit unresponsive in a corner and not go out of their way to try to make him feel better when their attempts to be a good hostess and pay him some attention are not met with any response.
Basically what is happening when people feel uncomfortable with him being around, it s a natural human response. Another case of this happening is when you are out somewhere in public and some stranger you don\'t know keeps staring at you but never attempts to approach you, after a point in time, the person being stared at begins to feel uncomfortable if not creeped out because basically you don\'t know the person well or at all, and you find it difficult to read a person and their intentions because of how they are acting reclusive and anti social. It is natural to feel uncomfortable with someone who withdraws into their own little world and makes no attempt to interact.
Now I am not picking on you. No, its not entirely your fault. You\'ve already figured out you should have asked if you could bring him, and I\'ve told you why. Also you made an assumption, on their request without feeding back to them what they said. they are young and you at 22 are not much older. All of you have grown up in a time when common courtesy is no longer taught and young people have difficulty communicating well. And that is your friends main problem, not communicating well due to feeling uncomfortable with a pretty much no-win situation for them. They just figured you\'d realize they were talking about the boyfriend when they said \"random people\" for lack of knowing what else to say. So they were misleading. Your boyfriend is not a random person. If you had been in the habit of showing up each time with another stranger they didn\'t know, then their request would make sense.
I have a daughter your age in a similar situation, a young man with PTSD and depression that makes most people uncomfortable being around him for various reasons but usually not that he is anti social. I have heard comments from others that they actually feel he is a really nice person deep inside but his problems he wont deal with, not seeking healing like Treatment for depression and Ptsd make it so that after so much time, people can\'t stand him being around, some can take only so many minutes, hours or continuous days of having him around even if they willingly invited him over knowing he\'s my daughters boyfriend. Like you, she acknowledges he has some issues to deal with. But she loves him and believes being in his life will help him. I can\'t say whether that is so or not.
Also some people aren\'t aware they have the psychic ability to pick up on and sense whatever is emotionally going on in others around them. When such a person doesnt realize they are like an emotional sponge just taking in whatever another person is burdened with inside, it can become quite overwhelming to be forced to be in the presence of someone like your boyfriend. That happens to be a problem for one relative I know with daughters boyfriend. They have graciously spent time with him at get togethers but afterwards told me how much it has affected them negatively in their spirit. Much of the responsibility here in this case is on the senser who soaks ups good and negative stuff from others to do things to protect and shield their-self or else they can not go anywhere in public without coming up against someone negative that makes them feel psychically ill. I highly doubt this is the case with your girlfriends but there is a chance one does pick up on something and that little bit of something she isn\'t cognitively aware of, is enough to make her uncomfortable enough to say he can\'t come to their house with you.
If you tell them how hurt you are, be prepared for a verbal battle and/or clearing out of feelings on their side too. My opinion is that neither you nor them were in the right, without fault. But don\'t feel bad, most of it is just due to being young and having inexperience dealing with such a thing.
the best way to bring up the subject is to simply apologize without expecting an apology in return which I\'d say they also owe you for not being clear and dodging it. But demanding an apology if they just can\'t see they were also in the wrong will only drive a bigger wedge between you. You could say you understand how they feel. You also realize that they don\'t know him as you do. And you feel that right now, fragile as he may be, that it is better that you do not attend anywhere that you two can\'t go as a couple. It doesnt mean you care about them less, but they will be seeing less of you because of your commitment to him. You also fear losing them and cant see much choice how to be really close with them and hope they understand that you\'ll only be keeping in touch via the internet for the time being. If they are not okay with that, it may be time to rethink about them being friends.
If you choose to say nothing but ignore every
invite to come visit on your own, they are likely to believe you are mad at them. If out of 5 invites, you decide to attend just one and let the boyfriend know that you will meet with them at a much reduced occurance rate and still spend the majority of time with you. Perhaps that won\'t be as hard on him, just missing out on you going off without him so seldom. But you know him best, and whatever decision you make is yours to make. Do your best to learn something about relating to and with other humans from this. Do no blaming or pointing the finger even if someone is clearly in the wrong. I have a couple of relatives, real close ones who treated me terribly by assuming some falsehoods about me and not talking to me for close to a year. When an situation came up to call one of them, i did and was recieved with love and a cheerful attitude. However they did not approach me first, nor did they ever refer to the separation or ask for forgiveness or apologize. I had to either choose to be upset by that and let it eat at me, or take the relationship any way i could get it. What was more important, being able to point out their error or be happy they chose to be talking to me again and leave it at that. I chose the latter. If you take a moment to put your self in their shoes, think about how you would handle it if the roles were reversed. I do that often and it helps me to understand why a person does what they do sometimes, even if it wasn\'t the best way to handle it. But hey, I look at it this way, we are all learning in this lifetime. There\'s always going to be someone with less experience than us on how to handle something and always someone with more experience. If we can forgive those who have the \'less experience\', who may really hurt us, then we\'ll be able to handle the \'bumps\' in life that most assuredly will come our way in the best way possible.
Good luck dear.
I'm getting a tattoo on the side of my ribs this Thursday (May 1st) and I'm unsure of what to wear on the day.
As if I wear a bra I will have indents where the tattoo is going.
My sports bra doesn't undo at the back so that wouldn't work.
I was thinking a bikini top but I'm not too sure.
Some advice and ideas for before/during/after would be great! Thanks!
I think it depends on how high or low on side ribs you intend to place it. You were told to check with the tattoo place which is a good place to start. If lower rib cage, a cami top or tank top should do, just raise it up.
If you are intending to place it right where your bra will be covering it after the tattoo is done, ask them if there is any problem with a tightness of a bra elastic strap being right there on top of a tattoo. Maybe not, but perhaps it would irritate the skin and not heal as well. So find out before hand if you can wear a bra after. If not and you\'re not comfortable with that, do get suggestions from the tattoo artist.
I've been living with my family for my 16 years of existence. However I lived with my 2nd parents since when I was born up to age 13 coz they had no child and my real parents' house is just next to ours so I really know them. And now I moved to my real parents' house. It's just really weird because sometimes when my mom talks to me I stare at her and ask to myself who is she and I say to myself I can't believe that this woman is my mom without any reason. She is really good mom. I also unexpectedly do that to my 2nd mom and even my dads. I experienced this i think since last year idk I can't remember much. And now I started to worry because I don't go out to my room I just write stuffs, articles and blog and my mom told me that i have a mental illness when she yelled that I'm so lazy. And also rarely when I look at the mirror sometimes I can't even recognize myself or I doubt if is it me, then I doubt if my body belongs to mine. I'm scared about this. And also when I wash my face I forget to turn off the faucet but still rarely. And also one time, when me and my sister were talking, I didn't comprehend what she was talking because I'm seeing her like I'm on tv because she was a far (i hope you get what I meant) but she was not really far from me, she was just a meter from me i think. and also last time when my dad scolded me while he was cooking, I'm seeing him like he was on a frame because I saw him from a far but still he was just few metres away from me and also there was no frame I saw in him literally, I just saw him like he was on frame. Please help me because I can't understand. I know there is no wrong with me because I'm healthy and I'm smart, yeh I'm different from other teens. I don't want this to tell to my parents because they would think im crazy which is am not. I don't want to see a doctor or a psychiatrist because I'm really really afraid I might not be able to get into the medicine school. However, I'm planning to tell this to my 2nd dad about this because I'm super close to him than any other parents but that would be in 4 months because he isn't here. I've researched something about this and I doubt it is a multiple personality disorder. But i dont want to accept that disorder because i dont have it. Please help me. I dont have any other person to ask to because my 2nd dad isn't home yet. Pls im worried coz im going to college and it might affect me much. Thnk you.
I have come across this exact thing with another person so I knew what to look up for you. I am no expert but you gave enough details that it matches exactly the definition of \'Depersonalization Disorder.\'
When you said: \'I\'m healthy and I\'m smart, yeh I\'m different from other teens. I don\'t want
to tell this to my parents because they would think im crazy which i am not\', that reminded me of the reactions of others with the disorder,(from the link I will post for you to read \"Feelings of depersonalization can be very disturbing and may feel like you\'re losing your grip on reality.
It is this very disorder that makes you scared thinking you going crazy but at the same time you can recognize that you are intelligent and smart and know you are capable of being normal.
Please read this link:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization/basics/definition/con-20033401
For something like this that is so scary to you, I would agree you need to discuss it with the person you trust most, someone who won\'t start placing blame on you, or call you lazy or others ways of labeling you. You don\'t need unprofessionals to label you. You need someone reassuring and understanding. If there\'s a way to contact the 2nd dad while he\'s still away and you encounter what is feeling like a crisis to you, I\'d encourage you to do so, just hearing his voice may give you reassurance. Tell him briefly what you\'re going through and that you need to talk with him and get his help as soon as he returns. When he returns it would be a good thing to go see a doctor. Let the Dr. give you a mental exam but you might share with him that you wonder if you have depersonalization disorder if you agree with whats written in the link.
I understand you dont want to see a doctor dear because of fear you might not be accepted into medical school. I personally dont think that will be an issue. I know many people to whom I am associated through family connections, or friends, or through a past job as a caregiver of those who have mental challenges and see counselors weekly, that at least half the people working in the field of mental health, have mental health issues of their own, have gotten counseling for it and or medication if needed and they will be able to have better empathy for their patients cus they understand. Plus it didnt mean they weren\'t intelligent, they were able to complete med school just fine.
I think a college would tend to have more possibility of being concerned about you if you have not seen a doctor who can teach you and counsel you on how to deal with and work around the disorder depending on the severity of it of course and if medication is needed and taken regularly, then there should be no issue. Here\'s a definition of \'mental disorder\'. Which I find reassuring...it doesnt mention anything about it being a death sentence on ones future goals.
Here it is:
A mental disorder is a change in an individual’s way of thinking and feeling that impedes his ability to perform his day-to-day activities. There are several forms of mental disorders of which anxiety and depression are the most prominent conditions. A disorder is granted valid whenever thoughts and feelings increasingly interfere in one’s normal functioning or pleasure.
I wish you the best dear. If you think of it, let me know how it goes for you in 4 months when 2nd dad returns and you hopefully see a doctor. I know that you are smart from how you expressed yourself and even tried to do research on your condition on line. I have a feeling you will make a great doctor or nurse no matter if you intend to go after physical or mental health degree.
So there's this guy, let's say his name is Alex, and I really like him I just don't know if he likes me. We go to Karate together and he's always looking at me through the mirror and smiling. We text almost all the time and our conversations never die. But I just wanna know if he likes me. He's always calling me his little monkey and sending me monkey emojis, but he doesn't act like he likes me. What should I do? We only started texting a week ago but I've liked him forever. I don't wanna scare him away by telling him I like him.
There are tricks to what you can say to get some points subtlely across to him without revealing how much you like him. Admiring certain qualities in a guy is not admitting that you like him. Being paid compliments doesnt mean that everyone who compliments you in interested in you that way but it shows that they noticed something about you that they liked, like lets say your performance in a talent show at school. Guys can be as scared to make the first step because of fear of rejection. So if he knew you noticed or admired some things about him, that speaks strongly that since you already think highly about some things about him, you may be more likely to say yes to going out with him.
Of course put it in your way of talking but something like, When you told the story of the customer who dropped some bills on the floor at the cashier and you told them and picked them up instead of saying nothing and keeping for yourself cus you could really use it, it shows you are an honest person and I admire that in people. So during conversation, even if its just stuff he says that makes you, theres reason to compliment, it means he has a great sense of humor and you like being around people who can make you laugh.
You could also make up a story early in week about how you and a girlfriend are going to such and such movie next weekend. When it gets close, you lament to him that your girlfriends parents had a family event they said she had to go to out of town and now you\'d have to go all alone or not go at all. And you never have any fun when you go alone. You just wish you had someone to go to the movie with. This is his opportunity to volunteer to go with you. If a guy is really interested in a girl, he\'ll be looking for any excuse to be near her or spend time in her presence and you can be sure he\'ll notice this opportunity. If he likes you in an attraction/romantically way and wants to date, he\'ll go for it and ask to go with you or ask you to wait for the following day when his schedule is clear to take you to the movie.
If he doesnt volunteer, he doesnt like you that way. Could it be that its not his taste in a movie? Maybe, but a guy who wants to be near you wont care what movie is playing, all he wants is a comfortable way to come to your rescue and end up on a kind of date with you. good luck.
I'm a teen girl and I just started a new school (I moved into a different state). I HATE the new school. It's not just that I'm not adjusted to it yet, but the school and the people there actually depress me. Don't get me wrong, they're very nice, but they're not my friends. My family and I move all the time so it's hard for me to make friends (we've moved about 11 times) and at the last place I made friends for the first time and then we left (I made friends because we actually stayed for a few years at that house). I'm not just a little upset, I'm actually depressed, drained of motivation, and I started cutting. In pretty sure that I've asked this question on here before but it's gotten worse! I need help. Simply thinking about going to the school makes me sick to my stomach and gives me a desire to cut my arms. What do I do?????
I know I\'ve answered you plenty times before on the same subject. Because of feeling disconnected and not having friends because of having moving so often, you\'ve finally had enough of this and are having your version of an emotional breakdown. I understand you have perfect reason for it.
I can understand not wanting to go to school. Have you talked to your parents yet as I have suggested about how you feel? If not, I still stand by my previous advice and encourage you to say something. I had a daughter who suffered from depression and as close and as much involved as I was in my 3 girls lives, I couldnt tell the oldest was depressed and she never told me until after she had her first baby and that caused her to finally start telling people, including me about what was going on and went to see a doctor. i am not saying you need a doctor, just that your parents may have no clue how this all is affecting you. If you don\'t say anything or have talked with them but not told them that you are seriously thinking of not attending school anymore because you just don\'t want to go through losing friends again, there may be no way for them to know. Say something. If I were your mom, I\'d want to know how seriously this moving often thing is hurting you. Please let me know what the outcome of a talk with them are. Can you go live with a relative to have a more stable education and social life? I\'ve mentioned this before as I See this to be a serious issue. Your parents may be only thinking of bringing in the most income to provide for you and yet you may be very willing to do without some things that money can buy, in order to have the things that money can\'t buy like friends, and long term history somewhere, where you can put down roots.
Your parents may mean well but if you don\'t say something that could help them decide to change things, for your sake, you may grow up to have trouble connecting with and committing to anyone in relationships, even dating ones, and you could develop a fear of finding a love partner and getting married because your subconscious mind has been trained to protect you from hurt of loss so you act in ways to not choose to marry and have kids someday so you don\'t have to suffer a loss. Also you could lose your ability to focus or put in any effort in school and choose to skip out on classes, drop out of school, start hanging out with the wrong kids and getting into trouble or in whatever ways some teen rebel against parents when their situation doesnt seem fair.
Whats important is that you learn to speak up for yourself when there is something you don\'t like, something that for all you know may be able to be remedied. If you don\'t know how to approach your parents or think they wont take you seriously, I am okay with you showing them what I write here now just for them:
\"Coming from one mom to another, you\'ll be kicking yourself later in life when you finally really see the affect your decisions you made had on your child when she was still a teen and also later when your daughter became an adult and all the issues that now affect her adult life because of something you did in the past, all with meaning well.
I have those regrets, staying with an abusive ex until the kids were all graduated from high school. Each one today has issues of their own, different problems with relationship with guys, shirking adulthood and not wanting to grow up for one. Choosing a boyfriend just like Dad for another, and a third who is afraid to get into a relationship, no ones good enough for her, she\'s unable to trust anyone or connect. It hurts me to see that but I chose to stay because I knew I couldnt afford to feed them or put a roof over their heads and clothe them if I left the ex. See, a financial reason, and what they grew up witnessing and experiencing has really messed them up. Don\'t let this happen to your daughter...there is still some time. Moving so often for financial reasons is killing the person she could possibly become.\"
I'd like some good ideas for how to reveal the genders of fraternal triplets at a gender reveal party.
I've heard of the idea to have your doctor write down the gender and seal it in an envelope. Then you take the envelope to a bakery, give it to an employee, have them bake you a cake, and fill it with either blue frosting for a boy or pink for a girl. Then at the party, you and your spouse cut into the cake and discover the gender when you see the color of the frosting on the blade of the knife. I like the idea, but I don't think we'll be needing three cakes.
What are two other ideas? I thought about maybe using punch or lemonade, blueberry flavored for a boy and strawberry for a girl. I am friends with employees and two different restaurants that could help me out with that. The could put it in some kind of container that's not transparent at all and the gender could be revealed when we pour the punch or lemonade, but is that lame?
I might use the punch/lemonade idea and get two cakes, or perhaps some cupcakes, half revealing the gender of baby #1 and half revealing the gender of baby #2. WDYT? My sister's not much for cake, so is there another dessert I can use in addition to a cake? Maybe have someone go get blueberry or strawberry ice cream?
I really want to use refreshments to reveal the kids' genders. I'm not crazy about the balloon idea or the outfit idea. WDYT?
I\'ve never heard of this before. I have always loved hosting parties for whatever occasions. Just because its not well known doesn\'t mean that there is a right or wrong way to do it. Sounds like you are very creative and have come up with lots of good idea\'s on your own. Perhaps you can be a trend setter, using ideas that are appealing to you and maybe many of your friends will copy them or pass those ideas on to other acquaintences. Would this be a self serve buffet line? Cus if someone chose to get a drink first and chose one for a particular name before getting a slice of cake with blue or pink filling, they\'d already know on that one name so they\'d have to choose a different name, 2nd child to get a slice of cake on. Sorry if I sound kinda dumb on this cus like I said i have no experience with gender parties, but I am kinda creative so all I can think is once a cake is cut into and a piece of two served already, anyone else approaching the cakes doesnt have to bite into a piece to know what the gender is. If you have help from people in the restaurant business, it might be more secretive and a surprise to have cream puff balls made, you know those bite size ones that look like donut hole sized pastry with a filling inside that needs to be kept cool. Cant think of professional name for it. But instead of normal white filling, it could be blue and pink fillings. Have 3 plates full for people to serve themselves from. They wont know the answer until they bite into one. If you wish to serve any type of food, hordevoures style, maybe something like those \'hot pockets\' sandwich type snacks only fancier and instead of using blue and pink, use fillings that are different, crab filling means girl, hamburger filling or whatever, means boy. Or maybe tuna as in blue fin tuna is BOY and Pink salmon is Girl. All you need is to label the separate serving trays with the childrens names correctly and people will discover once they bite into what ever it is they are eating. If you know someone who knows how to make molded white chocolate---some craft stores like Michaels may have the molds and all, have blue teddy bears and pink teddy bears made, and find a way to wrap the individual chocolates so that until they unwrap they have no idea. I have no idea what the balloon or outfit ideas is but I am sure you will make the best decisions. good luck.
I was talking to this guy since January of this year and like a week ago we got into a fight. It was something stupid, I wasn't texting him back fast enough and I got tired of him complaining to me about it n I told him to get over it. He freaked out basically n I ignored him for the rest of the night. The next day came and I answered him. I was still butt hurt about the night before so I wasn't very nice. He made me talk about it though and eventually he said he'd leave me alone for a couple days. At first I said okay but he kept talking and was really nice n I told him he didn't have to go for a couple days. After that he said ok and that his dad needed his phone back (his phone had run out of minutes) and he hasn't said anything since. It's been basically a week and I don't know if I should keep waiting or move on because he just might not come back. Oh and his dad let's him have his phone every night so him not saying anything isn't because he can't get ahold of me. So what's your opinion?
Whether you should move on or not should not be based on whether he\'s contacted you again but whether you like enough about him and the things you don\'t have in common are not an issue for you personally. Since he habits of wanting to hear from you more often than you were comfortable with and continuously contacting you was more often than you liked, I\'d say you had an issue with at least one thing. If thats the only thing, perhaps it can be worked through if you really like him otherwise. Since he seemed willing to talk with you about it before, perhaps you both can talk again and come to a compromise, but only if you still have a great interest in him. If so, call him cus it looks like he\'s trying to back off on the contacting bit to give you a chance to call first. So do if you want to. If you\'ve decided you\'re not all that interested in him, then move on.
My boyfriend is getting really bored in the bedroom how can I spice it up to make him feel amazing?
I am assuming that until this point in time, previously both of you were satisfied and he was also meeting all your needs too? If it has been all about what you can do for him, without any thought on his part of what to do to make things more special for you, then the relationship is set on a course to fail unless both parties are putting in the same amount of energy and effort into the relationship in every area including the bedroom. You can try all the things that were mentioned allready but you could also come up with a list of things you\'d like to see him do for you. If he is unwilling to try new things to spice up things for you, and only wants what you can do for him, you have a bigger problem than boredom in the bedroom.
The best way to find some new things to try is to talk with him. There\'s always working on each others g spots for a different type of orgasm for you from clitoral one, he\'d need to use his fingers on you inside vagina). And many men can experience stronger orgasms with the female stimulating his g spot which is inside his anus. Its what a doctor checks for prostrate problems...thats his g spot. Role play can help too, talking to each other creating the time period, your age or where you meet for an encounter. Perhaps he plays a man from Scotland or england long ago and you are a sexy barmaid. He talks to you in the best accent he can muster and you flirt back with him saying what you think a barmaid might say to her customer she\'s serving a beer to. I love doing that for a switch. Another thing I remember from a book for married couples to spice things up was for the girl to cut up pieces of fruit and lay down and place these all over her body for her male partner to eat off of her. Other suggestions were to study what the errogenous zones are on each others body, were having the skin caressed feels really good, dragging different clothes like silky cloth against the skin or a feather, feather duster, or even long hair if you have it is pleasurable. Just start using your imagination. theres no right or wrong way to spice things up, it comes to being more about both yuour personal preferances, so talk and find some common ground on things both of you think sounds fun. Dont either of you do something you don\'t like at all or are turned off by. Forcing yourself to do such things will cause you to lose interest in being sexual with the person. And that causes problems in the relationship.
My boyfriend is really depressed and is always telling me he's going to kill himself. It makes me soo upset because my sister has a mental illness and always tries to kill herself. I don't know what I should do about this as his friend told me it was my fault he cut for the first time. Can someone please give me advice?
The reasoning of his friend is all screwed up. No one can really be at fault for any other persons actions except their own. To say it was your fault is like a husband telling the wife, its your fault I cheated on you because.... and it doesnt matter what he says the reason was, thats a flimsy excuse to not look for the root of the problem and try to find a cure. Placing blame is not \'looking for a cure\' but running from the issue.
My oldest daughter told me after she was diagnosed with post partum depression, that actually, she\'d had depression while in high school.
I was very involved in the kids lives, alway openminded and asking how they were doing, feeling, any desire to try smoking? drugs, become sexually active? problems with friends, etc... I was very approachable and laid back and would never over react or be mad on many of their issues but the one thing she never shared with me is that she felt depressed. Honestly, there was no behavioral difference on the outside, I had no idea, so I know that if he hasn\'t told his parents, they have no idea either. I wished some friend who might have known had told me so I could get her in for treatment. Feelings of depression can easily lead to feelings of finding no reason to live, many thinking of suicide but as has been said, those saying they want to almost never do, all they really want is to feel normal and enjoy life and they wont be able to until they are getting the right treatment. His reason for feeling this way may not be mental illness like your sis. He may have a real great chance of getting better. Don\'t tell him to tell his parents, he won\'t. Find a way to go tell them because he deserves to get the treatment that will help. The only reason my daughter finally relented and decided to go for treatment was when she confided in me that she had feelings of wanting to kill her self or her new born baby, my grand child even though she knew that it was wrong to think that way and she wouldn\'t want to do it, but just having those feelings scared her because she didn\'t want to have something happen that drove her over the edge to kill her own child. She\'s a happy person today on depressions meds. It\'s not your fault that he cuts himself now. But if he succeeds with killing himself, and you didn\'t tell his parents, you will feel guilty as if it was your fault that he died. The only fault would be not speaking up but any action he makes, including suicide is still his because he did not choose to tell parents or school officials or anyone who finally took him seriously enough to get him help. Hope this helps dear.
Hey , I'm a Senior and i applied for 2 colleges in New York.I have 2 questions to ask actually , okay i applied for Computer Science ,Even though i wanted Computer Graphics more but i was told that it was only 2 years and it didn't have a good or credible certificate and that Computer Science has a brighter future and a guaranteed career , is this true ? .If i go through Computer Science , i just wanna know is it difficult ? , cause i heard that only nerds succeed in it.
Thank you
My husbands daughter went for a CG art degree. She checked out schools available and went for the top one, the one that was hardest and produced the most sought after students by software, movie and game developers. As to nerds, they all were nerds on the student teams she worked with on projects at school. So its not something you\'d find strictly in those going for CS degrees.
There was no such thing as a 2 yr degree for CG, the school she chose to apply at had a four year degree. Both require lots of hard study and in her school it was so tough, on purpose to weed out kids who couldn\'t handle the stress of assignments and deadlines that were truly cruel but it was necessary to weed out those who wouldnt be able to handle a job in those industries. She saw many drop out in their first two years.
Having a passion and desire for what you do is important. CG doesnt pay as much as CS and CS as a job is much harder on a person from what he heard. A person is more likely to excell above others if they have a great interest in what they are going after. The daughter will never have trouble finding better and better jobs and working her way up because she has a passion and talent for doing CG art. There were many other girls in the school, older than her that a team of student programmers could get to do the art part of school projects. But all the ones they tried either didn\'t know how to do the job exactly as they wanted, or they didn\'t have enough drive and energy or their work wasnt the quality as older students that they wanted. And they got special permission from staff to allow an entrance level student work with 3rd and 4th yr students on projects. I believe some of those students who just weren\'t good at the art part, were those doing it for the wrong reasons, because of how short the time to get a degree, because it paid better than other career options, but not because it was something they really loved. My advice is to go with what you love because you have a better chance of excelling at it and standing out among other students who are taking a degree for the wrong reasons. So go for CG. And good luck to you.
So me and my friend were getting revenge on these 2 girls. Yes I know it's bad, and I learned my lesson. But they found out and said that tomorrow I would be sorry. I don't know if I want to tell the teachers either, because then they will talk to her about it. Then she'll know and try to hurt me even more because i'm a "snitch". She's a really violent girl and I'm not a fight type of person. Please help. Yes I know it was bad of me to get revenge and everything but i'm really scared. Please please help me, I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Also, we're both about to go to high school.
I have to go to school eventually, and I only have to go like 20 more times before Summer then I probably will never see her again. But I'm scared. The only time she would be able to hurt me would be after school, but there's teachers near me. I still feel like she would try to do something. Should I stay near the teachers at all times? Please help as soon as possible. Sorry if this is long I just really need advice here.
You mentioned getting revenge which means that the girl you speak of started the whole affair that had you wanting to seek revenge in the first place, even though as you realize, revenge is wrong. I remember at your age being scared too. And its people like her that take advantage of it. Is there an easy solution? Not really. Going to apologize to her just to stop her possibly springing a surprise attack on you may or may not help, you can\'t hang out near a teacher at all times, there\'s always a slight chance she could find a sliver of opportunity to get near you, and telling teachers of her insinuating that you have reason to fear attack from her , may upset the girls more to definitely may some sort of attack against you. It could be words only they use and won\'t come through with any thing else, just the satisfaction of filling you with dread, anxiety of always wondering when something may happen, and just filling you with fear may be enough fun for them. If you don\'t want to talk to teachers, then you might see if any adult you know can give you a ride home, and you may have to explain why, that someone is bullying you and you want to escape any confrontations after school and just get to the end of the year. This may not stop things tho. You could make it safely to end of the year. But if you will see her again in the fall, she could easily decide to start picking on you again. You\'re probably not the only one.
The only way to really handle people who try to control others by fear is to band together to protect each other against her verbal and physical attacks. She is the minority and may have a couple friends who the help her so maybe 5 mean people, but easily 100 kids could pledge to stand up together for each other the moment she harrasses anyone, verbally or physically. So many kids have iphones today and its so easy to get video of at least a handful of students capturing her harrassing someone, and in another event, 8 kids capture video proof of her being mean to someone else, then all of you submit the 25 or so videos all capturing her being mean and \"snitch on her together. She can go after one snitch but 25 or more? She\'s outnumbered and knows that everyone will stand up for those attacked and work at getting her expelled from school for good. So try what you must to get to end of this year but if I were you, I\'d start asking to talk to other kids from school in person, not on social networks where she can see what you\'re doing. And see if you can find others who\'ve been bothered by her and how many are willing to capture her on video being mean to others. I was in school at a time personal computers didn\'t exist nor cell phones and iphones either. I didnt have the ability to fight back that you have. Proof is the best defense over her treatment of other students. If any are too chicken, dont choose them to be part of the iphone police who shoot evidence of her and also gather in a group, girls and boys to stand near the person who is the focus of her attack and tell her to stop. That all of you are not going to stand for her bullying and violence any more. there\'s strength in numbers) You kids tell her that they don\'t want her being in the school if she trys to keep up her bad behavior. Tell her all of you will capture her on video and submit tons of video evidence to the principal to get her expelled. So either she become nice or you all will work together to get rid of her. Once she has that ultimatum, she just may back down because she knows she can\'t defeat 5 or 8 kids at once. If eight kids went after her to force her to the ground as she tries to hit someone, and you all sit on her while another goes to fetch an adult and presents video of her attack to authorities, you won;t have to worry about her again. She may test you all to see if you mean what you say, if all kids can be bold enough to band together against her without any real violence towards her, then she won\'t try any more. She won\'t get any satisfaction of terrorizing single students here and there, not if others won\'t tolerate it. I can honestly tell you if a band of kids asked me to stand up together with them against such a bully, no matter how scared I Was to do it alone, I would be confident enough to do it with others surrounding me. Hope it works out safely for you rest of the year and that next year, you can organize a group of students who are friend of students who have been threatened or picked on to stand up against her the right way. Good luck
Which destination is best to visit in summer vacations?
Its more about your own preferances. If its just two adults no kids, perhaps a cottage for two by a lake, maybe a Bed and Breakfast. I went to a place that served a four or five course breakfast, romantic, but they also had a garden swing by shore of water, and canoes to go out on the lake. If you are more for a place with tourist attractions, thats fine too, just personal preferance. If taking kids, they may want enough to see and do to keep them entertained, like a wild animal park, a water park, interactive museums, camping and hiking if the kids are old enough are fun and a novelty, especially if they haven\'t been before. Rather than buying all the gear if you dont have any, like tents, sleeping bags, camp stove, etc. you might check into renting an RV for the weekend or week.
Here\'s a cool idea. I like to write and in choosing a story line I also need to choose a location/setting. I chose another country, choose a region and began to read the history of the area and points of interest, walks, hikes, geographical attractions, and tourist attractions, historical buildings, etc and I now feel like i\'ve taken a trip to such a country. I can\'t afford to but if I won the lottery tomorrow, you can bet I\'d want to go there. It could be a plan to just pick a random state to drive to or fly to and check out the area of the state near the airport you land in if flying, look up tourism for the area. I really wouldnt say one destination is best, it all depends on what is better for you and your mate and kids if there are any. So if you can tell me more of what you\'re looking for, historical sites, famous national monuments or parks or places to go with kids, I might be able to have more specific suggestions.
I mean is it all like "unholy"? I know that black magic is like witchcraft but whats white magic? Will it get you sent to hell? I have been thinking about this since I read "Jays Journal". Also are spells considered witchcraft?
I am not familiar with jays journal. I do however have experience with many years in a Christian church almost 30 and then experience and involvement with pagans and witches since about 2003, so 10 yrs. A big thing to keep in mind is the intent beyond what you are doing. Intent of the human mind is what powers Christians prayers as well as pagans spells. Intent is focus directed on a positive outcome or a negative outcome. Not only witches but people in all walks of life could have a negative intent towards others, and believe me, you will find them even in churches. Whats crazier, is that in my example, they have no clue they are practicing magic, black magic actually because their intent is the opposite of the christians \'golden rule\' a rule that every belief on the planet has in their own words. For pagans their way of putting it is \"An it harm none,do what you will.\" Which means if what you intent to do doesnt hurt yourself or others, thens it okay to do. the church I attended at the time was renting a piece of property the school district owned but no longer used as a school. The church made several offers to buy it off them, wanted the property to have to build their own church and christian school. The school district refused. So church leaders called a special prayer meeting after church where members stood in the field next to the gym we used for meetings and their so called \"prayers went something like this; Dear God, we know you want to bless us with this property. But the school district board has refused to sell to us. So bring hardships against them, bring them troubles. May they experience great failures, loss of staff and bring in new people who will listen to us and do as we want.\" I was horrified, they thought they were doing a good prayer. iT was their words that were wrong. Their words were focused on bringing negative events to befall the school district so that they could profit and get what they wanted. Witches who do spells use words and rhymes to bring a good event into being, getting a raise, a new job, healing for a health problem, etc... That is all good things. So white magic, is something used for good. If you ever hear of green witch, that refers to someone whose focus is healing with herbs and plants. Hope this helps you. If you have any other questions about the topic, I\'d be glad to try and help.
He always yells at me and bosses me,and any time I get upset he mocks me, and some things he calls me like a gerk or bitch or asshole really hurts my feelings. But he doesn't care, he yells at me so loudly, and charges at me, and sometimes he slaps me, then claims he just taps me, but just now he made my thumb sting numbly, it's hard to explain. But a few times he left red marks. I kind of got used to it, and it's not just me, he screams at the top of his lungs at my 3 year old autistic brother, wich is harsh, don't you think? I've also heard him call my mom a hoar and a hoe and a stupid bitch, and other horrible names, and I'm not even going to share what he does to my sister. Once he took one of our cars (we've got 2) and didn't come back for a couple days. Honestly, I would rather my parents get a divorce. What should I do?
What your dad is doing is abuse. Mom is being abused too and at this point doesnt have enough personal strength to reach out for help. It is not okay to hit another person ever. trying to hit you and missing, is assault, actually making contact is called battery and both are misdemeanors. If mom can\'t be strong enough to call for help, you\'ll have to. What you need to do is call the police. He\'ll probably get fined for the offense and it goes on record but probably wont go to jail. If calling the police doesnt get him to shape up and treat you all better, CPS needs to be called in to help. Its Child protective services, if there is no mark on you to prove it at the time, it may be hard to prove and they may not be able to do anything about it until they have some proof. Laws may have changed since i last had contact with cps. I cant say for sure.
It is also good to talk to a school counselor about it right now. tomorrow. don\'t wait until he hits you again. They will contact the right people to help you. It must be something awful if you can\'t share what happens to your sister. All you kids are going to need some major counseling some day in order to lead a somewhat normal adult life. If Dad isn\'t hitting but is forcing your sister to do things against her will that involve anything sexual, taking nude photos, touching her sexually or forcing her to have sex, thats a crime. The authorities need to know.
My ex was verbally abusive towards me most the time, the kids sometimes but never hit the kids. Just witnessing the verbal abuse was enough to mess up all of my 3 girls emotionally. One is still trying to work through it on her own cus she can\'t afford counseling but wants it, the middle daughter has problems starting a healthy relationship with a guy and is afraid of them as far as opening up to be emotionally intimate with and trusting them. At 25, she\'s still single with 3 crash and burn relationships in her past. The youngest found a boyfriend from what I\'ve heard from relatives, who is somewhat like her dad, not as bad but it\'s not the healthiest relationship and she has to put in all the effort while he puts none. Don\'t think bad treatment like this wont have repercussions later, even if its mostly yelling and verbal abuse. The verbal kind in some ways is worse than the other cus theres nothing to see for others to get you some help.
So no matter who he is attacking next, call for help. If the only phone is in plain sight where he can see or hear you, leave the house and go to a neighbors asking to use the phone to call the police. Any neighbor woould be concerned and willing to allow you to do so. Just dial 911 and explain whats going on. Once the authorities have enough calls out to your house with your dad being the offender, they may step in to get him the professional mental health he needs, he\'ll be taken away for a psychological exam and put into treatment for whatever is causing him to be this way. Its not going to stop and can only get worse if you say nothing.
I've been cutting lately. I just moved for the quite literal 10th time and the last place I lived I actually made friends and a boyfriend for the first time, so it realllly depresses me to leave (I'm a teenage girl by the way). Also I'm bisexual but can't tell my parents because they don't believe in anything except straight. If I told them my dad would probably yell at me and/or hit me and my mother wouldn't take me seriously and/or say that it's "just a phase" (it's been a while, I know for certain that it's not a phase). Finally, I'm not really excepted here at my new school, so that just adds on the pressure. All of these emotions are putting me on sensory overload and it's causing me to cut. I barely cut deep enough cause anything more than a scratch because I don't want my mom to know but I'm afraid that it will progress into something worse. Finally I have a demented perception of beauty so I think that the scars are beautiful in their own way. What can I do to stop cutting???? Please help!
Its a tough economy. Perhaps Dad had trouble finding working and then keeping it. I don\'t know what he does for a living but some job require moving around, like finishing a work project and moving on to the next location. Thats something you really have no control over. All you really have control over is your own thoughts and feelings and reactions to a bad situation. You\'re not the only one. Theres others who\'ve written that have to move often and its affecting their life too.
About being bisexual, there are support groups for anything if you go looking hard enough. When you\'re in a difficult situation, sometimes its helpful to be surrounded with others who have to face the same things. You don\'t have time to find friends and grow that level of trust needed to open up and share such a thing and they may not be bi anyways. Its easier to find others like you and thats one great thing about the internet, there are groups like that and though you dont really know them, it\'s easier to talk to an accepting understanding stranger on line sometimes. Heres a link to one teen group with 121 members. Hopefully you find and join more.
http://www.mdjunction.com/teen-bisexuality
There\'s another but I dont think its strictly for teens and has people of all ages. over 2000 members
http://bisexuality.supportgroups.com/
I am not sure what to say about not being accepted. Usually it takes a group of people some time to warm up to a new comer. How long have you been at the new school? I remember as an adult joining a club of people interested in the same pastime. Something silly like that and all people did was sit or stand there and stare and watch me and not approach. Humans are funny that way, watching and waiting for someone else to approach you first to see how friendly you are, how you handle yourself, if you seem fun to be around, if you seem to have low self confidence. So the thing to do that makes people more likely to approach you is looking upbeat, happy, friendly, in love with life, interesting, and fun to be around. Looking interesting in a way that makes them want to get to know you is going to be hard when you are already depressed. So perhaps its the way you look and act being depressed thats causing the other kids to not be quick to accept you. It is depressing to be hanging out with someone depressing. I think some counseling may be helpful with what you describe to be your feelings regarding cutting. You know by now that cutting only distracts you and doesnt improve your situation. Why keep trying the same thing if it doesnt work? I suggest you go to a school counselor and tell them what you told us and ask them to find you some help if there is any that can help.You can\'t know exactly how your parents will react if they found out about being bisexual. Some are so against something that is different than what they grew up with but flip and switch to being supportive when they find out a family member is gay or whatever and realise they\'ve been narrow minded and judgemental. Others do not change at all and harrass the family member. Sometimes its helpful to have another adult break the news in a situation like this, someone looking out for your welfare in this. I don\'t know how well schools are set up to refer teens to help agencies. If you have an adult sibling or adult cousin who may be openminded and supportive, you might go to them first and perhaps they could stand with you when you tell the parents if thats what you want to do.
I know of some things a person can try to get rid of depression but yours would be instantly back due to things you have no control to change like parents moving often and your natural sexual preferance. So I couldnt tell you how to stop cutting because the things that cause you to be depressed enough to cut are still going to be there. It makes more sense to work on the situations. At the very least let them know how depressed you are from the constant moving and not being able to have any long lasting friendships. If you must, tell them know you want some counseling for the depression cus you don\'t want to end up doing something to harm yourself. If they ask what, say I don\'t know but I am my wits end and upset enough to do something that could end up badly. Let them think what they want, suicide or whatever, but what matters is that they agree to get you in for counseling. second choice if they aren\'t taking you seriously is to see a school counselor .
I was recently diagnosed with genital herpes. I am on daily suppressive therapy, and always use condoms. If I have sex with my current partner, and by some chance give him herpes (since it is possible even with a condom..thats how I got it), and then I give him head, am I essentially giving myself oral herpes? Like if he gets it genitally from us having sex, and then basically he gives it back to me orally. Is that even possible to pass herpes genitally to oral in that way? Thanks!
Yes. And it is because of that very fact that I strove to learn what my own bodys personal messages to me are when I am in that \"shedding\" stage. (I answered your other question)
What I have found over time is that a day or two before hand, there have been subtle signs for me. I have not found anything on this anywhere else.
But what happens to me is that one particular spot on my genitals feels more tender or sensitive to the touch with my fingers such as when I wipe myself after peeing, or the skin feels chafed as if clothing rubbed against the spot and is making it feel slightly irritated, but theres no pain or outbreak yet. I take note of the spot and usually about a day and a half later there is a visible sore beging to show.
What I do when I feel the beginning chafed tenderness feeling, is I tell the husband so we don\'t do any oral sex or other kind for me. If we do anything at all, I give him oral sex since I don\'t have the oral herpes. But we\'re perfectly fine waiting until it goes through its course.
I am a 22 year old female and I just contracted genital herpes about 2 months ago. I am taking daily medication for it, and always use condoms, and would never have sex with any present sores. I read that with daily suppressive therapy and condom use, there is about a 1-2% chance of passing herpes from female to male, including shedding.
If it is that tiny of a risk that I would pass it to my current partner, what is the point of telling him I have it? Also, 80% of people who have herpes dont know they have it, and therefore are not taking any medication, making it a lot less risky to have sex with me than just some random girl, especially with such a low percentage of me passing it anyways. So, without lecturing me, please give me a legit reason why I should tell my partner?? If you were in my shoes, would you?
Thanks!
If I were in your shoes, what would I do? Well,I am in your shoes, so to speak, heres my story.
After leaving an abusive ex, went to live with my sister in another state. Started a dating profile. After leaving ex, I had tests done and I was clear of STD\'s. After years of being with sister and having dated guys through a dating site, I went back to my state because my kids were all there. Once I was back, and ready to date in my state, I got re-tested to make sure all was okay. The test came back positive for He rpes 2. I had never had an outbreak oral or other yet. I went to read up on it on line and realised that like me, many people are carriers but don\'t know they have it and until they have a break out, they won\'t know it.(So unless your boyfriend has been tested for Herpes recently, he could have it too and not know.) But there\'s always a chance any partner I might have in the future did not have Herpes and would want to be able to have the choice to decide whether to take the risk. I decided to update my profile and said \'hey update, I just found out thru testing, that I have herpes, so if you cant handle that, don\'t bother to continue reading my profile\"
I thought that would greatly cut my chances of meeting someone. It didn\'t. In a couple days I heard from a guy that I ended up dating 6 months who said he was a carrier but had never had an outbreak. I did hear from a couple guys who were on the site just to find activity partners like for dancing. They commented their kudo\'s to me for being honest and posting that update. I met and married my future husband who said he was also a carrier but never had an outbreak, I still hadn\'t either. Sometimes it takes something like severe stress on top of all of it to bring it out and thats what happened to me, it was financial stress, one unexpected thing after another and I finally had my first outbreak, not severe enough to go get treatment for the pain and to help heal it. In all honesty, I have maybe 2 or 3 outbreaks per year. It\'s never been an issue for us.
The reason I told people is to give them a personal choice. Even though I agree that choosing to avoid me as a partner is the least of their risks, cus they so easily can come across other sexual partners who don\'t tell or just dont know, due to the statistic of how many are carriers. Feeling safe by using condoms is to me a dumb illusion. The only part protected from any \'shedding\' I might be doing is the penis, cus my labia comes into contact with the area of skin at the base of the penis or anywhere else i might be rubbing myself up against. If it were the other way around and A guy I was starting to date me and told me he had herpes, and i knew I didn\'t, I might be torn between wanting to take a chance on it. Its once thing if I was sure this was the person I plan to live the rest of my life with or if I was just dating more for the social thing with sex. I\'d want someone to give me the choice.