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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Once I have anal sex and it didn't slipper to my vagina, am I still a virgin? (Stressed)
It all depends on what you consider virginity to be. Penis in vagina is generally what people consider means you're no longer a virgin. If so, then at what point do two same sex male lovers or two same sex females lose their virginity if they never do anything with a person of the opposite sex. They either have two vagina's or two penis's and there's no way to have 'penis in vagina' sex. Does it mean they remain virgin's eternally?
Well, I suppose one girl could use a strap on, or one of the guys could do anal on the other. Are you getting the picture? At what point does a person then become no longer a virgin? Its an outdated, useless word. Our sexual experience from puberty til we die, is a unfolding of experiences, one by one. You have just experienced one of them.
We done great together gor 2 yrs. Now im being treated as a child. Cut off fro ALL money. Put down constantly as he thinks im incapable of even talking. Fight fight fight. I dont think i can take another dark path. We decided i would be a stay at home mom. Now im interested in nothing. I just miss my son. I dont rub it in his face. He hurts too. But i would never say hurtful things to him. He NEVER did. Now every time i open my mouth its wrong. How can i make him c im trying and i love him more than ever.
I am so sorry to hear this. Grief will do a lot of strange things to a person, especially if a person doesn't process properly through all the stages of grief and gets stuck at one point along the way. When that happens, it will affect a person's life in very negative ways, if married, will affect that marriage in negative ways.
Take a good look back. If before the loss of your son, the husband treated you like a Queen, then its the grief likely thats caused this and both of you may want to consider seeing a grief counselor and get help to process through. If you ignore this, it will only continue and not get any better.
If the husband treated you okay most the time but there were hints of this kind of behavior in a milder form, then perhaps the death of the son brought what lurked inside him fully to the surface... I am just guessing.
If he's always been like this, but you did great for 2 years after the loss, it may have been that both of you needed something/someone to cling to just to get through during the grieving process, but now he's back to his normal inconsiderate, unloving self. Remember, I am not saying his is that...just supposing. Any woman with a man that treats her like that, I will advise to have the couple go for marriage and relationship counseling if you want to save the marriage. If he isn't cooperative and won't go, then either you decide to put up with this behavior or decide to leave, no matter how much you still love him. How can one leave so easily? If a mate is not willing to change there is no one who can say or do anything to make them change. Change comes from the inside, an internal desire to change, not from outside influences. So he has to be willing and counseling is needed no matter if its for grief or marriage counseling. If he won't listen to you to go in to counseling, talk to family, swallow your pride (if you haven't told anyone) and let them know whats really going on so they can help support you. Perhaps he'd be more willing to listen to a family member who encourages him to go, like a parent, a brother, best friend. I'll be praying for you dear.
21/f, 27/m
Some information about us that relates to this question: I have been dating this guy for two months now. We have not discussed whether or not if we were exclusive. We are talking to other people, but we're not seeing anyone else other than each other. He's admitted that he would like to be exclusive and that he would be upset if I dated other people... But we have not officially stated whether or not if we were exclusive. He's going on vacation from Friday-Early Monday morning. Usually when he's on a trip, he doesn't talk to me much. But, he used to?
To the story:
We went to see a movie three days ago and after the movie, he found out that my recent ex-boyfriend came by that morning to pick up his things (we broke up months ago). This started by me saying that I finally have my closet back and he asked if my sister was using it, I said, "no" and he said, "then who?" I told him it was my ex-boyfriend. I told him way ahead of time that my ex-boyfriend lived with me for awhile because he got kicked out of his house and had no job, no place to stay, so my family took him in for a while.
The guy I'm dating said, "that's weird that he's still there." I told him that he wasn't, and that he was just there that morning to take his stuff back. And he just looked at me and said, "you're weird. You're really weird. I'm going to go now. Have a good night." And left.
I texted him a few minutes later and asked, "why am I weird? I obviously said something that upset you. What's up?" And he didn't reply the rest of the night and he texted me the next night and told me that it's not the fact that I've dated a lot of people, it's the fact that a lot of them are still in my life. This included the people I dated when I was 12, 14, and 16 years old.
I told him that I'm the type of person who doesn't look back whenever I date someone. Once I move on, I move on for good and it'll be hard to rekindle the relationship. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but it's highly unlikely. I also told him that I see my exes here and there and talk to them, but not as often as before. I also told him that I also completely understand where he's coming from, especially if he was worried about my previous serious relationships.
I asked him, "what would you like me to do? What would make you feel better?" And he responded with, "I can't tell you to change that." I told him, "Can you please try to work with me on this? What will make you feel better? Do you want me to cut them out completely? Do you want me to keep my distance? What would you like?" And he told me that he was about to pass out and that he would respond to me the next day. The next day, he didn't text me so, I texted him to see if he has decided anything. He told me that he didn't have the opportunity to think about what I said yet, so I told him to let me know then. Knowing that he was on a trip until Monday morning, I was thinking about waiting until then...
but the more I think about it, that's BS. He didn't get the time to think about what he wants? Why can't he just tell me? If he wanted to end things with me, why wait until Monday? I'm wondering on what's going through his mind right now. Is he doing all of this because he thinks that he doesn't have the right to since we're not "officially exclusive"? Why do you think it's taking him so long to answer? Do you think it's because he's actually busy? Too busy to not send me one text all day? What do you think I should do?
I am just guessing that he may be an insecure man. I could be wrong but this type of behavior is generally typical of that. If a guy has low self esteem or gets jealous just hearing about past boyfriends/relationships or current male friends talking to you, then it is a good possibility he is always comparing himself to others and measuring himself in worth and in his mind finding himself to always fall short. This is a cognitive problem and there is counseling for that but I am not the professional and I dont really know this guy of yours so I can't know if something else is going on currently in his life that is causing him to act this way. Good communication is important to having a health rewarding relationship. If he is not going to make the effort to come out and share and really talk to you and give explanations, then you may not want to spend anymore time on him.
Thats up to you tho. But if he won't talk, theres no way for you to know for sure whats causing his behavior so you can either give him understanding and support or encourage him to seek help or whatever the situation needs. Good luck dear!
I'm 17 and lost my virginity to my boyfriend a few weeks ago. We used protection the correct way, no breakage or slippage, and I'm on estelle 35 ed which I'm not sure has extreme protection of pregnancy. We are extremely safe, and make sure no breakage has happened. I don't often get signs of my period, sometimes a bit of rumbling in my stomach, and also heavier discharge a week or two before. I was diagnosed with possible PCOS so always had irregular periods and no sign of them coming, and have been on Laila/estelle 35 ed for two years. What's the possibility of me being pregnant? I have no discharge and I'm due on a few days. Thank youbl!
Some women get signs that their period is about to start. Some never do or only occasionally do like myself when I still had a cycle. So don't worry about not having physical signs that your period is coming. It doesn't matter if a person has PCOS or not, it's normal no matter what.
I can't say what 'rumbling' in the tummy is. I can say that with some periods I did get looser bowels for a day or two before or on the day my period started and thats the only kind of 'rumbling' I ever had. It's normal too. If you've eaten anything recent that has lots of fiber, roughage, you may experience something more like diarrhea for a day but I did not experience this with each period, just some. And I had yearly gynecology visits and had nothing wrong with me.
The discharge that your vaginal area does between periods is your bodies normal way of cleansing itself there. It can also vary. Sometimes I would get more, sometimes less and was told thats all normal too. So don't worry about it.
trigestrel defnation sideeffect
Here's a description of Trigestral which is an oral birth control.
http://www.igenericdrugs.com/?s=Trigestrel
As to the side effects, it will be the same as with any hormonal birth control. Not every person will have the same side effects and some will not have any at all. But most women do experience a couple at a minor level that they can live with. If its severe, then see a doctor and get a different dosage or try something different like the shot or an IUD. (Intra uterine device)
Heres a link to the actual side effects. They list 7, but there is one more....many women complain of weight gain, not a little but a lot and that can be caused by trigestrel or any hormonal based contraception. The only most popular non hormonal birth control methods I know of are Spermicide used with a Diaphragm or the copper IUD called Paragard. If in your research you want to know more about either of those, let me know.
ok so this probably sounds pathetic and like every other fangirl out there but im positive its not. i am in love with a guy in a band. they arent very big but theyve been around for a while. ive met them 3 times in the last 2 weeks and they are amazing. they remember me and the first time i met them my mum was there and said that the lead singer (whom im in love with) was checking me out. and i told him thankyou for following me on twitter and he said "no problem! well keep in contact! DM me, (then put his face in my view and repeated) DM me DM me." and when i was walking to hug one of the other guys goodbye he steppeed out so half of his body like kind of rubbed against me. then i got home and dmed him and he replied but it was just about another show they were having and he hasnt replied since. then the 2nd time i met them they were kind of rushing because they had something to do after but he told me he liked my shirt cause i was wearing an ACDC shirt. (obviously a cool shirt) then today i met them my 3rd time. one guy said "hey again!" and "see you again soon" when i was leaving. the other guy said "oh hey you! you made it! how did we do?" then i was talking to the guy im in love with and he just kept repeating how much he loved my shirt and how he just liked it so much! (this time i was wearing a rolling stones shirt. so pretty self explanatary) well i took individual pictures with them and the other 3 guys just stood next to me with there arm around me like a usual person would do, but when it came to the one i love he like squeezed me super close even longer than it took to take the picture. (the guy taking our pic took it and he continued to squeeze me) ok im sorry this is so long. my question is how can i make him see me as a friend and not a fan. i dont get all giggly and googly eyed at them when i meet them. i stay calm and collected and talk to them normal but because im in that environment i feel like he cant see me as a friend, and i just really want him to. before you say im just star struck im not. ive met bands i like before and its not like that. he is just amazing and absolutely intriguing. i get the worst kind of butterflies and start shaking when im near him. thats never happened to me before. someone just please give me advice to get his attention without looking like a crazy stalker fan because i am the complete opposite of that! thankyou so much in advance to anyone who takes my question seriously. xoxo
What i Wonder is if you have skills in conversation, basically in starting convo with individuals you know, or a stranger. If you know how to feel comfortable starting conversation like that, then apply the same here. So far, sounds like enough comments are being made to give you something to latch onto as a conversation starter. For example "You made it! How did we do?" Besides stopping at "Great! or I loved it." You can continue with something like, so how long were you guys practicing before you began to get gigs, did you have a place to practice away from home or did you guys jam at home driving the parents crazy. If he answers at home, or friends home, you ask how the parents took it. Ask if his parents are supportive, does musical talent run in family? Do you have siblings who are musically talented. You could along the lines of talking of their practicing for the band ask if he knows how to play any other instrument. Did he ever play in orchestra or band in school. If you did, mention what you did and some of the songs you played that you liked and that can lead into mentioning other genre's of music you can tell him you like besides the type he plays. Once you've had a chance to keep a conversation going for a while but the show is over and they're needing to pack up you mention that you have enjoyed talking with him and would like to do more if his schedule has chunks of time where he can get away to do so. This shows your interest but gives him an easy out if he's not really interested in you as anything more than a fan.
Remember in conversation, people love to talk about themselves so keep asking questions.
When we are attracted to a person, no matter what age we get to, there is a special energy that enhances that attraction and makes the feelings you have so strong that it feels like love. Yes, I know some people fall in love at first sight. Its a crappy deal if only one does and the other is not interested, but thats life. If you don't take the risk, because of fear of heart break, you may never find that significant person. Because these feelings are so strong, they can tend to make us stop living and focus only on the one person. Some people do that even in a marriage, the woman who has no life or interest of her own anymore and focuses to pour her energy only into her husband and kids. This is an unhealthy choice, one can't be balanced in life if doing this. Those who do start dating will experience great energy too, New relationship energy will be so intense for the first few months that the two screen out all their family and friends and other obligations and want to be around each other 24/7. Usually this passes and goes down to a more normal balance where the caring and love is still there but balance comes back and other parts of ones life is now attended to again. So when you are feeling sluggish or depressed over how you feel without knowing how he does, the worst thing to do is sit and indulge those feelings by doing nothing. Get up, get out, see a friend for lunch, take a bike ride, even if you're thinking about him while you ride, go watch a new movie thats out of a favorite actor/actress...simple things like this can help bring you back to balance. And good luck with starting a nice long convo with him.
So I'm in 8th grade and I started getting these black lines/ dots/spots on my lips and they haven't gone away since 4th grade. I asked my mom and she told me to drink lots of water and I HAVE. I drink almost 2+ water bottles a day. And if i do ask my doctor, she'll flip out on me. And it's really embarrassing to have them on my lips and not have it go away. No one really has ever asked me about them except one of my best friends earlier this year but i dodged it. It's a really sensitive subject to me and i feel like everybody stares at my lips. And trust me, i've tried google and none of the remedies have worked. I've used Apple Cider Vinegar, Honey & Lemon Juice, and drink a lot of water and kept myself hydrated etc. Also I do not drink or smoke.
I'd never seen or heard of this before so I went searching the net and here's what I found:
http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/14767/1/Black-Spots-on-Lips.html
Since it could be a hormonal imbalance or other things treatable by a doctor, its best to go see one. Show this to mom.
So I am in the 8th grade- going into 9th. I'm pretty sure this all started in 5th grade btw... but I think I have a depression/ anxiety/ bipolar disorder. I've taken A LOT of these quizzes and screenings online for them and it states that I have a high case of it and I should get some help just in case... I also had one of my friends take it and she got a high ish score too but her mom found it and she took her to get help and she has been getting help from medications because she was diagnosed with quite a few disorders like depression and anxiety. I've told her about my scores and she has told me many times to ask my mom but I'm afraid to. I mean I don't cry every night or day about my life but I do a lot and when i do it's horrible and i have no one to talk to about it. If i tell my mom, she'll either think i'm crazy or she won't believe me. And what if I am actually diagnosed with those disorders? I'm going to have to talk to a therapist (she does) and get on medication.. and that's going to cost a lot of money... and nows not the time to make my mom worried and have to pay money. she and my dad have been stressed lately and it's just too much money and i don't think we could afford it with all this shiz going on. I want help but I don't want my parents to have to go through all this...
If this started in 5th grade and you began to notice going through puberty changes at the same time, it could be related. Not saying that this is for sure. But there are many girls today who pick up the same kinds of hormones your body naturally releases when you start puberty so your body can naturally change. Our toxic world has so many of these same hormones in things we come into contact with, plastics being a biggie. So by time you add the naturally occuring ones from your own body, you are on hormone overload.
This hormone overload is known to cause a total personality change, bring on total uncontrollable anger and rage and in many cases, depression. It is not your fault. It is just something that is happening more regularly these days than in the times when your parents generation grew up. All my nieces are suffering from this and each one is seeing a doctor for this and getting on medication. So talk to mom and you can let her see what I have written. I am no professional but have real psychology sites on line on current issues for teens and this was one. There is always a way to get help. If you don't have insurance, perhaps the family can qualify for the Obamacare or perhaps a free clinic. I highly recommend getting help. You might even try asking the school counselors or school nurse to put you in touch with someone who can help.
Your parents may have other issues that are stressing them but not telling them just to make it easy for them is not going to help if you get to the point where you get so depressed you commit suicide or accidently cut too deep and bleed to death. That is alot more stress and grief also. So tell them now dear and get professional help cus its actually a quite common problem these days with teen girls.
Hello you guys
Thank you for clicking on my question
I really am frustrated A LOT! This illness or whatever you want to call it is making me lose my mind
It's been present for quite a while (1year) yes quite a while huh..
The thing is some red stuff... Really dry and dead skin that brushes off when I rub it , I simply rub the skin, it's yellowish colorless kinda skin that falls off when I rub it off my face or below my earlobe
And now it reached the space between my freaking eyebrows since the redness and dryness is present under my eyes and on my nose and it climbed up to the space between my eye brows. My entire face is kinda red now...
Also, this dry dead sorta skin is present on my sideburns now..my sideburns (both of'em) itch and when I rub they fall off.
Some people also told me I got white stuff on my hair in the bottom of the back of my head..
I attached this picture of the redness/dryness http://oi57.tinypic.com/wlq0ao.jpg
By the way this redness/dryness disappears when I rub it with some cream and wake up the next morning gone.
Thank you SO much ! For donating priceless time for someone else.
Thank you.
There are so many things that can affect the skin to cause a skin condition that is not normal or healthy. Sometimes what we eat affects the body, even if eaten for years, it may take time for certain things to accumulate in your body to the amounts that would cause the problem. Or it could be an allergic reaction. Have the parents noticed or made any comments on it. All you have to do is ask them if they'd take you to the doctor to have it checked out. yOUR family doctor may suggest you see a skin specialist. There may be some minerals or vitamins missing in your diets that could correct it, or something prescription cream may correct it.
You may just have extremely dry skin. When you shower, the soap or shampoo you use on your face or hair will be absorbed to a minimal extent by your body. Anything that comes into contact with our skin will be absorbed. Thats why your told not to have bleach come into contact with your skin. If you have dyed your hair ever, those are very harsh chemicals and can burn your skin and perhaps start off a sensitivity in your skin. I had a teenager who at one point developed light rashes because the family shower gel that hurt no one else, she became sensitive to cus of the color and scents added. You could try thinking of anything that your face and head comes into contact with and changing that for a while to see if it goes away. Although since it is itching, you may not want to wait that long to find out if that was the culprit. I recommend seeing your doctor to get checked out because they are the experts on this and we here are not. Good luck!
20,f
I have a problem finding a boyfriend and I think it may be because of my appearance. I am 162cm tall,weigh about 65kg,I have long blonde hair,blue eyes and I dress nice. I am told by many people that I am actually beautiful but I have trouble believing it because it is really hard for me to find a boyfriend. I do take care of my looks but I'm no supermodel. My good friends and family told me they think I'm having difficulties with this because I don't want to go for just a one night stand,I want a serious relationship with a normal guy. But I feel like nobody will even try to get to know me because there are so many prettier girls than me out there. Pretty face will be gone,but a good woman will always be a good woman. So is appearance really the main factor for a guy who is choosing a possible girlfriend? Just thinking about it makes me stop pursuing anyone ever again.
Oh my goodness, your family?? And friends think you should go for one night stands to be popular with guys??!! I'm a mom of three grown daughters, one two years older than you. I can't imagine telling them to sleep with a guy for the night just to become popular.
The kind of popular they are talking about is like your name and phone number written on a mens restroom wall by a one night stand saying, for a good time, call Sheila at xxx-xxxx. That is not the kind of man who wants a woman to care about and love, this gets the ones motivated by lust, not love. Please...don't listen to them, listen to your heart and stick with what you want. Keep the standards high, don't settle for less. Sometimes it is that ones personality type, shy or slow to warm up to feeling comfortable with meeting people types just don't stand out as much as those who are more talkative and outgoing.
I don't know you so it could be as simple as working on this:
Finding ways to get comfortable with approaching others and starting conversation. It could be a lack of understanding men and the do's and don't of attracting a guy and dating a guy. It could be that you lack self confidence. Self confidence speaks as loudly as good looks with all men except the types who seek only the model types just for sex. And those guys, you don't want anyways.There are great videos I've seen on you tube when doing a search for girls and guys on attractions and dating guidelines. Theres a lot of good information out there. If you want some idea's for self confidence or how to overcome difficulty starting conversation if you believe that might be part of the problem, let me know by writing to my column as to exactly what you need and I'll be glad to give you some hints. I have learned how to overcome all that myself and what i Used really worked for me.
So in answer to your question if appearance is the main factor for a guy in choosing a girlfriend, no it is not. Let me know if I can help at a deeper level. Good luck.
You just mentoned my type of personality!
Will the slow-to-warm up types usually get true friends?
If I've spoken to you before, please give me some reference as to your previous question so I will know who I am talking to. I would have no way of knowing what you mean otherwise by "Mentioning your type of personality.
It doesn't matter what personality type you are when it comes to having true friends you can count on who accept you just as you are. What matters more is who the persons are at their core, their values, and beliefs, if they are a person who keeps their word and does not do that which they know they ought not to do and is trustworthy and practices unconditional love even at a friendship level. It is true that some types of people do not attract friends as easily, being quieter but all personality types including yours will catch the attention of someone.
If you want to take the time to study different personality types including yours and understand yourself a bit better, you could do a web search for "Personality types" and personality tests. There are many different ones that offer on line questions to help you determine what you are or help you understand your type better. Hope this helps.
my name is Rachel and I am a 25 year old female and almost a year ago I was dating this guy named Aaron who went to my church and he was very involved in the church and all my family and friends told me that he was a good guy so I didn't have to worry about him doing anything to intentionally hurt me in any way and I also assumed that since he went to church that he was a good guy and that I could trust him but both my family , friends, and I were wrong because he did hurt me and it wasn't by accident either . lets just say after 3 months into our relationship we had sex which it was my first time having sex with anybody I was virgin until him and it was the biggest mistake of my life losing my virginity to a jerk like Aaron and I regret it because I know that I can never get it back again . I know having sex that early in a relationship was to soon and that was my mistake. After we had sex he told me that he wanted me to tell my family and friends that I cheated on him if I were to end up pregnant because he didn't want anyone one to know that he had sex outside of marriage and when I told him that I wasn't going to do that he broke up with me and will not speak to me or even look at me anymore. I don't understand why he would do to me ? I don't understand what I did to deserve the pure hell and torment that he is putting me through . It's been a year now since it's happened and I am still not over him last night was far the worst melt down I've ever had . I was getting ready for church and I knew he was going to be there because he always is and I couldn't even get dressed by myself my cousin had to help me because I was sweating and shaking so bad my dad had to help me with my hair . I am just so embarrassed that when I am writing this I feel like crying . I ended up staying home from church yester because my cousin told me I didn't need to go if it was going to upset me that badly . I couldn't sleep at all last night . I didn't go to bed until midnight and woke up at 3:30 in the morning and my cousin had to lay down with me just so I could get back to sleep . she told me if I ever needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on she was there and if it wasn't for her last night I couldn't have made it through it by myself .why do I still love him after what he put me through? my cousin told me it was probably because he was the guy that I lost my virginity to and I will get over him eventually but it just takes some time please help me .
Oh Hon, so sorry to hear that. In a way it happened to me, as far as a Christian guy fooling my parents (who didnt go to church) and friends thought he was great too. Married at 20 and found out very soon he was verbally and emotionally abusive towards me after we got married.
Moral of the story is: Just because you find a mouse in the cookie jar, that doesn't make him a cookie. (Heard that uttered by a visiting Pastor at my church.)
What we were being told is that just because you find someone attending a church, going through the motions of church life and professing to be a Christian, that doesn't mean they are truly a believer.
Another thing I have learned in life as I am now grandmother age, is that whether Christians or other Spiritual people of other faiths, there will always be varying degree's of maturity spiritually. Some are just starting. Some are forced to go and just fake their interest to keep the heat off from relatives, some are very devout and want to improve and make innocent mistakes that hurt others, and others are very mature spiritually but still open to learning and growing and showing others the path. This is an important lesson to learn in life, not to judge a person based on their title or label but by their heart, just as God does with us. You don't have to associate with any that you don't feel capable handling. Now a days, the soonest I see a glimpse of the true character of a person and I don't like what I see, I avoid them. Best example is when I was dating, before meeting myIf it makes you feel any better 2nd husband. Many appeared nice men. Once I was usually on the 2nd date their pretence if any with me, went away because they thought they hooked me since I agreed to see them again. They showed their true self and I saw things that looked like the behavior of my ex or that they were anti spiritual or just had nothing in common with me when they originally professed to like same things as me. Lying right off the bat, or asking me to change something about myself, or putting their needs before my own needs, interests, or my feelings and emotions, would automatically get me to drop them like a hot rock.
Now that you have unfortunately experienced this, you will have learned what to do next time. Don't be gun shy and put up a barrier and never attempt to meet and date another, its a good way to get to know a persons character. I dont call it dating tho...its hanging out, whether at the parents, out with friends, etc....just make sure the setting isn't you and the guy alone without other humans nearby that you could turn to for help if such a need came up again.
I know this doesnt help with right now. Time will heal your heart and emotions.
As for first times, people make so much more a big deal of what they experience the first time than realistically its worth. If you ask any person on the street of those who remember their first time, what they thought of it, whether it was special and loving and good, the great majority who are truthful will tell you, it was not special, either for same reason as you or even if with someone who treated you well as a first love you had sex, the reality is that no one knows what they are doing to make the first time really that enjoyable. My first time with 1st husband was a flop and failure. The rest of our married life in fact, a failure. He was oppositely as different from me as could be sexually and theres no way to know if trying to remain pure and virgin until marriage. More people than not, if they find a loving person, will eventually check them out sexually to test wheether they are a match. I hope this will help you in time to come. If you need to ask any other specific questions, feel free to write to me at my column.
God bless and heal your heart.
15, Female, USA
I really want a Flemish Giant rabbit. My mom said I could if I can train it to use a litter box or something of the sort.
I've always wanted a rabbit and this is the only breed I could convince my parents to get(since we have cats and my sibling past experiences with rabbits weren't the greatest).
It would stay in my relatively large bedroom, I don't think it would be in a cage unless it was needed.
In short my questions are: Can you litter train a Flemish Giant Rabbit?
Will having cat's and dogs be a problem?
Can I let it stay in my bedroom without a cage?
ANY info on these matters, or anything
(literally anything) else you know about Flemish Giant Rabbits, would be GREATLY appreciated.
Yes, rabbits of any kind can be trained to use a litter box. We had rabbits and cats at the same time. They got along well. If a young rabbit grows up with the other pets around, it will fair better than being subjected to a dog or cat added later, same as it goes for pets owners of a cat or dog adding one of the other.
For more specifics on training a rabbit and care for it, etc.. you might go to your local library and check on books for rabbits as indoor pets. I am sure there are some such sites on line as well. I always find it comforting to have a book I purchase at a bookstore on something like this to have on my bookshelf at home that I can turn to for reference at anytime.
Good luck and enjoy. Rabbits are indeed fun pets.
I've been in a relationship with a girl from overseas for almost two years. I'm a 26 y/o guy, and she's 24. She came with me here about a year and a half ago. I treat her well, romance her, buy her roses, bake her cakes, take her out when I have time, tell her that she's beautiful, help her look for work, and a lot with English.
Last year she started acting funny and talking about a guy, and I found out she cheated on me by looking at her phone, and reading her emails (Not saying this was right, just that I did it). I confronted her, but I never really felt she thought what she did was wrong. I promised not to look at her stuff again.
For the half year since then she's been using her phone a ton, and hiding it from me. Lately she has been getting calls and messages from the guy she cheated with on me again, so often that even though she doesn't want me to know, it's inevitable that I would see at some point. She gets pissed off over trivial things, she's stuck to her phone 24/7, we hardly ever have sex anymore, and sometimes I don't feel like she even wants to be here.
So I gave her time, and everything just felt kind of wrong. I broke my promise and checked up on her. She's still cheating on me, and things never really stopped. She tells me she's faithful, nothing has happened, and she loves me, but I know she's lying.
Recently she got offered her dream job in my country, and the contract process is happening fairly quickly. She's staying here on a Partner visa with me, and we live together. If I break up with her, she either has to leave within a month, or become illegal. Apart from that, it will obviously make my life more hellish for that month than it already is living with a person who you know is lying to you with a straight face, while making out with another guy. I know that she is planning to stay with me for the two years it will take for her to gain permanent residence, and then leave me for the guy she is cheating on me with.
In my country, you can only ever sponsor two people to be partners, and if your first partner is granted PR, the length your second one has to wait grows to 5 years, rather than just 2.
I don't know how to handle breaking up with her, and what to say to who, when. I don't want to be taken advantage of, or have my name smeared by this. Breaking up with her before she gets PR will pretty much destroy her whole life as she knows it. She quit her job to come here with me, which is kind of a black spot on her employment history in her home country. I feel angry and upset about what she has done to our relationship, but I'm still battling feelings of love for her, and I don't want to see her broken. I wish everything I know about what's happened could be a lie, but I know it's not, so I have to deal with it.
To complicate things, accepting the job involves costly medical and security checks for her, and may mean we consider moving. I'm at university, and I only just found this out, right before the exam period. I really don't want to think about this before exams, and I definitely don't want to break up with her just before my first exam, so I am putting it off, but I feel so guilty for "supporting" her through the process of getting checks and references for this job that I know will be difficult if not impossible for her to keep.
What would you do?
What should I tell her? The truth? Or that I've fallen out of love, but don't know why? Or that one of her friends told me the truth?
How do I deal with the stress of living together with this oblivious lying girl who tells me she loves me?
What should I do to handle the resistance that I'm likely to have to breaking up with her? She won't want to break up with me, because she wants PR.
Can you tell me some steps and the order in which I might do them?
Any other general advice about the situation that I haven't asked a specific question about is more than welcome.
Thanks in advance.
-Troubled
Dear Troubled,
If it gives you any solace, you're not the only a to end up in your predicament. For eons, women have found a man to grant her passage into the U.S. by promising to be his fiancee or his girlfriend.
After divorce from my mom, my dad, through an agency found a spanish speaking woman who agreed to come th the US to become his bride. A few month after she arrived, she searched and located relatives whereabouts and then she disappeared and wasnt heard from again. All his efforts and money wasted.
I cannot say in your case if this was her plan at the time you met her or whether she devised it later as the opportunity occured to her. But somewhere along the line, your lady friend became dishonest with her intentions and a true relationship requires honesty.
So whether she really fell for you in the beginning and changed her mind later or never cared about you and it was all an act, you still lose either way.
It seems you realize this relationship has no chance and is over, you're just in a quandry as to how to handle it from this point on.
I do not know whether there are any stipulations in any immigration papers signed that state she only has the legal right to be here on visa if she stays with you or whether its okay if she finds another sponsor and is free to go. If it could cause you trouble if this situation came to the attention of officials, it might be in your best interest to go the legal route and end the "sham" relationship, stop covering for her and advise immigration that you are splitting up since she is no longer interested in you and looking for others. Your place is only a place for her to live to gain eligibility to become a citizen.
If the two of you were devoted to each other, its one thing, and you'd be a heal to dump her if she loved you but you no longer cared about her. In that situation you could wait until she has gained citizenship to part with her. But thats not the case here. She is no longer interested in you. Thats another story and you would not be a heel for splitting up with her now which would in turn cause her to have to return to her home country. The choice is really yours. You can tell her that as soon as she gains citizenship, you want her to move out and never want to see her again, or for how it affects your ability to find yourself another gal the 2nd time, you 'd want to end it now as long as in your mind you understand there is no reason to feel guilty about doing so and/or you can live with those feelings if you can't feel any other way.
Good luck!
It's Father's day tomorrow (so advice needed quick!)
This Mother's Day my husband did something really nice for me so I feel obligated to return the favour.
However, yesterday he hit me in the face in front of our toddler and I'm not really feeling "into" it.
How should I celebrate?
1. Ignore Father's Day completely.
2. Give him the card and the one gift I've already gotten which is literally from the $ store.
3. Do something commensurate to what he did for me for Mother's Day.
Honey, your problem is not figuring out what to give him for Fathers Day, its that you need to learn how a person should treat another human being.
For one thing, it is never right to hit anyone. That is assault and battery. You should be calling the police and reporting this. That is not love, hitting someone. For one thing, he has an anger problem, temper, unable to control himself and often this comes from a past of abuse in some way as a child. IF i were you, I'd contact the nearest office for battered women and start learning from them what the signs of an abusive partner are. What is acceptable behavior and what is not. Which is a criminal offense.
If you don't make a big deal of this and address this, he will continue to get away with it and get worse over time and may at some point begin hitting child/children. That is no way for them to grow up. If he is not willing to go see a counselor and get some help, then you may have to think seriously about continueing to be his wife. Right now I'd lay off on having any further children with him til this is resolved if at all fixable. Sorry to have to pass on such a hard point of view. I know what I am talking about, I am one of those women who was once in an abusive marriage. It started with verbal abuse and over time got worse and he began to push, shove, grab hit all wrong. I was pushed to point of losing balance and falling and could have got injured.
If you are not ready to face the real issue here, then get him something or ignore fathers day, it doesnt really matter.
So i met this guy a few months back. (Im 19 and hes 21) To be specific we met mid April, we have been talking non stop every single day since then. Hes my best friends cousin so she was always trying to build things up between us when we met. Thing is, I got out of a relationship 3 months before I met him, so when we met it was really difficult for me to believe in anyone or anything for a while, I was devastated and it was a terrible time for me. When I met him, he really liked me.. he asked my friend for my number and asked to see me all the time, he was such a gentleman and was such a sweetheart. At first, he told me he liked me and I told him that i thought it was too early to talk about it because what comes easily breaks easily and he was iffy about it but I think he agreed. I thought to myself, well if this kid really likes me then he'll wait until the time is right between us and thats what I thought before he started pulling what hes pulling right now (Ill talk about that in a bit) Anyhow, we went on vacation together for 2 weeks..me, him, my best friend and their whole family. He would always ask my best friend to take pictures of us, everytime I was sitting down he'd rub my lower back very softly (not sexually at all) he was great and I started to really like him, I felt like things were really starting to build up between us and i could finally see us being together after feeling like I was not at all in the right state to be in a relationship, we came back from the vacation and he was the same..sweet all the time, texting me and calling me. till just last week when he stopped. He doesnt call me at all anymore unless I call..he barely texts, so im like okay this kid probably lost interest right? Then he texts me going, I dont know why you havent written me lately.. i kind of felt like he was trying to turn tables on me because he knows that I was upset with him for not coming to see me the day he said he would, so i told him that I always write him but hes the one being weird and distant and hes like No im not but I really liked that you called me previously to go out and see me, I apppreciated your effort" and im like okay well great if you appreciate my effort and write me and get annoyed that I dont write you, then why are you being weird and distant and not writing me at all or calling or being half as sweet as you used to be ? I didnt literrally say that but thats what i was thinkig. Before our vacation and even a few days after, he would call me sweet thigs like "Love, babe " Now, nothig at all. What happend? Did he randomly lose interest?? What do i do. should i just forget him? To be honest its all making me feel terrible about myself, I feel like my self esteem is so low and I keep thinking its somethig I did. I showed him I liked him A LOT after our vacation, even if I didnt say it im positive he knew because Id say things like "Im telling you this because your special to me, your the only guy I really care about" and I swear I meant it all. Im just confused now. Any advice would be helpful, thank you!
What you need to find out is what the word "Like" means to him and ask yourself what it means to you as far as a potential dating partner is concerned. That may solve alot here.
Some people use the word "like' when first 'attracted' to someone. It doesn't necessarily mean that a person really likes another if they know next to nothing about them and with a guy, how he is like 24/7 even when short on sleep, had a bad day or when ill and not feeling well. Does their personality change and they treat you different under difficult circumstances for example?
He may just have been saying he's attracted, not offering anything more yet until he gets to hang with you and date you some to get to know whether he actually likes you. Dating is not just a socially thing. so few are using it for its best ability, dating as a way to learn what you like about a person or dislike. If the dislikes are a deal breaker, then you break it off and move on the next person, looking for someone a st ep better without the dislikes you had on the previous one.
You said
"everytime I was sitting down he'd rub my lower back very softly (not sexually at all) he was great and I started to really like him".
Having ones back rubbed is enjoyable yes, but it has nothing to do with whether you know a person well enough to fully trust them with your life and to begin to love everything about them. I am guessing that what you were feeling was attraction, you liked the feeling of the attraction, but it doesnt mean you liked him yet as a person. Your stance with him when he first asked you, even though right after a break up 3 mo. prior, may have made him feel that you were unreachable. If he hasnt gone through a bad break up, he may not be able to understand why you c ouldn't just take the step to become just friends, not dating to become an official couple. Females tend to read too much into a guy wanting to date them believing they are instantly a commited couple when the man needs more time to get to know her and thats all he's doing at this point. A friendship like this is not sexual unless you are prone to having casual sex with friends. Dating at this stage is exploratory, get to know the person. If the person doesnt pan out for you, then you break up. THe female tends to let her heart get tied to him too soon. Just take the time to get to know him, no pressure. Remember neither of you are mind readers so he wont know why you are saying or doing anything unless you volunteer info along with to explain. Not enough c ouples ask each other what they meant by something. If you had asked him when he said he liked you if he could explain what 'like' meant to him, he would have given you a clear answer and you could have known a little better what the situation actually was. Never let your self esteem be affected thinking you are less of a person in dating arena. AS I said, it doesnt reflect on you if he has indeed lost interest, he may have decided that you are not the type of girl who truly interests him enough to get into a commited relationship with, the kind where you give your love and have trust with each other. Even once in a committed relationship, some people thought they really had the best person for a marriage lets say to get engaged, but they didn't know they were settling for someone less than the personal best for them until they accidently meet someone better for them. That can be recognized whether the relationship has sex or not. Again, it doesnt mean you are lacking, you are just different. Don't settle for less for yourself either. At your age, you are still going to trying to learn what and who you want for a life time love and the process is not an instant one and may take several dating relationships to learn. the best thing you can do is have deeper talks with him and explain what you mean and ask him what he meant. There may be a chancee theres time for you two to spend time getting to know each other as friends first or he may have already found someone else to date. You wont know until you ask. good luck.
My fiance just set up an account on instabang on June 6th 2014...we have been engaged since feb. I know his password ...he doesn't know this but I've been monitoring it to see if there is activity...I agree that you can't do much if you're not paying but I also know that he is for a fact masturbating frequently.....I don't care that he does that, shoot I do it too, or looks at other woman....however if he prefers that to me then I have an issue.....I guess my main question is why on earth would he set up a profile...I can only assume that when he signed up he was thinkin ohhhhhhh what if I can bang someone and she'll never know....he has a job that allows him to be in many places throughout the day???? We are getting married in 3 months and I'm not really sure if I know him....he's told little white lies in the past and I'm concerned they might turn into big dark lies!!!!
You are right that a person cant do much on instabang or really any web sex site unless paying. Even if not webcam, guys can get satisfaction from seeing just the pics in ads and why? Because the mind is our greatest sex organ. Fantasy is a normal healthy part of a sex life and in a long term relationship like marriage is also quite normal. one under the right circumstances, it is not a problem. A bad circumstance would be the one you mentioned, wanting or prefering another to you. A good one would be that both of you want only each other but you both find it exciting to roleplay and pretend to be that barmaid and swashbuckling pirate, use that type of talk with each other as flirting and love making. Costumes are not needed but some may go that far. Its use of the imagination that makes it special for each other.
My guess is that the two of you have not had many if any talks about where you both stand on your likes and dislikes sexually. I don't know if you are sexually active now or waiting til marriage but either way, its an extremely important talk.
I have done that with anyone I dated until I found my 2nd husband. Friendship is one important foundation in a marriage. The other is sex. So you both need to know you're in sinc/in balance as far as that goes. Even if not sexual yet, you'll have a pretty good idea what aspects sound good to you or not and know how daring or not you may be. How often a person wants sex is one for example. Will you both find use of toys to pleaseeach other one of your things. Are your libidos the s ame? Very important. Some want sex once a month, once a week, once a day or more often. If he wants 2 3 times on days he's not at w ork for example, will that b e okay with you or do you think you will satisfied enough with once a week? There's so much to talk about and it all needs to be gone over before you marry cus you just may not be compatible and one or the other of you may ignore your partner and truly go for a sex partner outside of marriage if unhappy in the sex area but happy with the friendship part.
I believe a man can love his wife as his best friend but the two are a sexual mismatch and neither willing to c ompromise to satisfy each other so the man secretly goes to another woman.
You aren't married yet so nows the time to find out. If the two of you are a big mismatch, marriage won't make it better. Marriage will be mediocre, unhappy and unsatisfying and may at some point end in divorce over this.
His looking at photos now may just be a healthy need. Once married, if his needs are not met through you and yours through him, then there will be a problem. You'll need to bring up sex and things you'll like to shoot for in married life or now if already having sex.
In the discussion, if you find he has always had a high sex drive and masturbates often, it not because sex twice a day isn't satisfying him, its because he actually has a greater appetitie. Same like one person eats like a bird and another can go back for a full plate of seconds. My husband is one of those men with a high sex drive and a need to masturbate at other times. We pretty much have sex daily unless one of us is really ill. Not headaches tho dear, the hormones released by orgasm are the best cure for a headache!
If you and he had talked and hes got the high sex drive and you tell him its okay to talk to you about anything, even needing pics of women to masturbate by, then there's no problem. Let him take lots of pics of you nude or partially so, as artistic as you can make it and he can keep them in a file on his pc to look at anything you aren't around or able to have sex and he'll be a happy camper if he is truly in love with and satisfied by you. My husband has plenty nudes of me. I know he uses them because I woke earlier one morning and came up behind him as he sat at the computer. He wasnt masturbating, just looking at my nude pics. Men are visually oriented in sexual arousal and thats why pics help. Women use their visual screen in their mind imagining scenes from romance books or movies and that can get them the same results without having to look at pics of a man. Same result, different path to get there. Have those talks dear. I hope the two of you are a match in that area or willing to discuss c ompromises now and maybe willing to even try things e ventually with each other as you gain more trust in that area. Good luck.
I am from Nepal a 20 years girl.My bf says me that I am characterless.He fought with me and we broke up.I haven't done anything like characterless.He used vulgur words and bit me hardly.I still love him.I can't live without him.I wanna die Days are very difficult to live.Nights are diffucult to dream..What should I do?I am completely broken.
First, lets make sure you and I understand what it means to be character-less according to the dictionary. There is no word found listed as "character-less".
The dictionary had the word 'Character' described only so to be without a character would then be the opposite of anything listed under Character.
Here is the dictionary definition of character:
Character is the combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another. Moral or ethical strength.
A description of a person's attributes, traits, or abilities. Having character can refer to a distinguishing feature or attribute.
So as you can see, if the word he used was "characterless", he would be wrong. The reason it's difficult to find the word written anywhere is because there is no way a living person can not have their own personal character. If a person has a soul, they have a character. That character begins to develop from the moment we are born. Perhaps the bf meant to say you are 'dead'. A dead person no longer has a character. We are only left with memories of a dead persons character, and what it was like.
He may be trying to say that to him, you are no better than a dead person, that there is nothing about you that interests him, that he has no care about you or feelings for you.
It's not that something is wrong with you. We should never have to change who we are to be 'perfect' for someone else because then we would no longer be ourselves. And someone who is complaining or finding fault with you in the beginning will continue to find fault no matter how many changes you make in yourself. I know this because at age 20, I married a man who did this to me. I kept changing and doing exactly as he asked. Once I did, he complained that he still didn't like me and could not provide logical reasons why. There was truly no way to make him happy or satisfied because something was wrong inside of him. It turns out in his case, it was a type of mental illness. Some people just choose to be hurtful to others because they are hurt inside from something or someone in their past. And they want to lash out and hurt and dump their frustrations, they need an outlet and so they hurt the person closest to them at the time rather than focus that hurt in retaliation at the person who caused them hurt. A practice I don't recommend, but I am just saying that your bf may or may not have not realized he was hurting you.
I believe it is for the best that you broke up. When you begin to give your love to someone, even if they treat you poorly in return and do not treat you as if they love you, it still hurts your heart to be treated that way and rejected. That hurt is very real and can make you feel like there is no reason to live. However, that would mean 'He wins' and you lose if you do decide to end your life. As long as we are living, we have a chance to improve on our life and learn and grow. Relationships fall under the same standard: We can always learn and grow and improve on relationships. That means certain relationships must end. This would be a relationship that doesnt work, because one person isn't putting their full effort and time into it, or one where both individuals are way too different from each other, or they are not best friends to begin with or there is a lack of "chemistry", that mysterious unseen quality that brings great feeling of desire for the other, or a lack of both wanting to put the other first in their lives, etc.
Dating is actually a process we go through with many relationships. The goal is not to make your 1st or 2nd dating relationship end up a life long healthy marriage but to find what you do like in a guys character and what qualities you don't like and then avoid the bad qualities in the next one and look for more good qualities and learn with each step and each new relationship. tHis means your heart will get hurt but that is part of what can not be avoided in this process of finding the person who will become your love and your mate.
You may feel you cant live without him but in reality, we all can go on. It's only a matter of choice, to continue to live or not. What if a loved one dies in an accident. You cannot bring them back from the dead. I had to decide to continue to live when I first lost my mom and later my dad. I was the one to decide to leave an abusive 1st husband. If I had decided to end my life because of a 1st husband who treated me worse than an animal, then I would never have met the wonderful man i now have as my 2nd husband. As different from the 1st one as day and night and a hundred times improvement. Give yourself time to get over the hurt and then venture out to meet a better guy the next time around.
I'm going to start by saying that I have a hard time deciding on what to do for my future. I feel lost and I don't know what to do.. I recently graduated high school, which mean looking for collages is the next step. I have a dream of working in a studio with people that make cartoons or movies. I love art so I want to become an art teacher,as you can see I like art but now I have the choice to either continue working on on my math and other skills or just go straight to an art school where I focus little on my math,english,writing etc I don't know what to choose:/
I agree with Advicemans suggestion, it could be the best of both worlds. My 2nd husbands daughter completed CG (computer graphics) art college recently....this is the kind of college one goes through to have a degree in computer graphics.
One has to show some planning and drive and prepare for entering or even getting accepted at such schools. Hers was one of the top schools and had higher standards than others and made the assignments and times to complete extremely hard so that she and her team worked around the clock, even late in the night more often than not to meet a time schedule....its a way to weed out those who can't handle that pressure and see who can handle a job in that field by giving students a taste of the reality of it. There is lots of impossible time standards to such a job making animated movies and cartoons. Many of the people who work there don't have much time for a personal life. Just sharing what i know from what she and her friends in school went through. Many dropped out as they couldn't handle the pressure. Becoming an art teacher, you can still focus on using summer months or other time to yourself to study and specialize in growing another art talent and do the extra work on the side. I can also tell you that even those who have the highest grades and make it through CG school, those scouting for new artists on their team only pick a couple handfuls of the very best talented students and the rest still have to find a non CG job in the field of 'art' that will bring in enough earnings to pay off their school loan debt. The job offered the daughter ended up being for lower pay than she thought and the company didnt really have things together. She's tried several other things and non have worked out yet so she is working right now with a tattoo artist, drawing up the designs for him while he does the tattooing, just to have some money to pay school loan. It isn't what she would have wanted but she's okay with learning a new skill cus he'll teach her the tattooing part later and this can make good money in the end run. I wish you the best. It is important in whatever you choose to do, that you enjoy it. Too many people have jobs they hate. If you can find something that will make you happy and pay the bills, then that is the best choice. Remember, If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong.
I have a corn snake who is around 6 months old i have had him from a hatchling with the mother what worries me is hes got a small bump on his head which has been there from birth it is about 3-5cm i was just wondering if anyone can tell me what causes it before i take him to a specialist thank you for any advice
I remember you, you asked this same question a couple of months ago. Did the pet store you got the snake at have no referrals for a reptile specialist?
I have again gone searching on line and can find nothing about corn snakes naturally having a bump on their head as a periodic occurance in births of some snakes. I've looked at photos. I see none of snakes with the bump that you are mentioning or at least none seem to be apparent on online photos.
I would suggest you look for the closest reptile vet in your area and take the pet snake in. Your other choice is to continue to do nothing but you have to be able to live with the consequences if it is life threatening. Perhaps you don't have the money to take your pet to a reptile vet. In that case you have no choice but to do your best to make your snake comfortable and happy. I know this may be a hard situation if something bad happens and you might feel guilty about not being able to take the pet to a vet but if there's nothing else you can do, not having the financial means to care for its medical needs, it's a fact of life, things like this happen. I hope for your sake its nothing serious or life threatening in case money is an issue.