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im in love with the lead singer of a band
ok so this probably sounds pathetic and like every other fangirl out there but im positive its not. i am in love with a guy in a band. they arent very big but theyve been around for a while. ive met them 3 times in the last 2 weeks and they are amazing. they remember me and the first time i met them my mum was there and said that the lead singer (whom im in love with) was checking me out. and i told him thankyou for following me on twitter and he said "no problem! well keep in contact! DM me, (then put his face in my view and repeated) DM me DM me." and when i was walking to hug one of the other guys goodbye he steppeed out so half of his body like kind of rubbed against me. then i got home and dmed him and he replied but it was just about another show they were having and he hasnt replied since. then the 2nd time i met them they were kind of rushing because they had something to do after but he told me he liked my shirt cause i was wearing an ACDC shirt. (obviously a cool shirt) then today i met them my 3rd time. one guy said "hey again!" and "see you again soon" when i was leaving. the other guy said "oh hey you! you made it! how did we do?" then i was talking to the guy im in love with and he just kept repeating how much he loved my shirt and how he just liked it so much! (this time i was wearing a rolling stones shirt. so pretty self explanatary) well i took individual pictures with them and the other 3 guys just stood next to me with there arm around me like a usual person would do, but when it came to the one i love he like squeezed me super close even longer than it took to take the picture. (the guy taking our pic took it and he continued to squeeze me) ok im sorry this is so long. my question is how can i make him see me as a friend and not a fan. i dont get all giggly and googly eyed at them when i meet them. i stay calm and collected and talk to them normal but because im in that environment i feel like he cant see me as a friend, and i just really want him to. before you say im just star struck im not. ive met bands i like before and its not like that. he is just amazing and absolutely intriguing. i get the worst kind of butterflies and start shaking when im near him. thats never happened to me before. someone just please give me advice to get his attention without looking like a crazy stalker fan because i am the complete opposite of that! thankyou so much in advance to anyone who takes my question seriously. xoxo
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What i Wonder is if you have skills in conversation, basically in starting convo with individuals you know, or a stranger. If you know how to feel comfortable starting conversation like that, then apply the same here. So far, sounds like enough comments are being made to give you something to latch onto as a conversation starter. For example "You made it! How did we do?" Besides stopping at "Great! or I loved it." You can continue with something like, so how long were you guys practicing before you began to get gigs, did you have a place to practice away from home or did you guys jam at home driving the parents crazy. If he answers at home, or friends home, you ask how the parents took it. Ask if his parents are supportive, does musical talent run in family? Do you have siblings who are musically talented. You could along the lines of talking of their practicing for the band ask if he knows how to play any other instrument. Did he ever play in orchestra or band in school. If you did, mention what you did and some of the songs you played that you liked and that can lead into mentioning other genre's of music you can tell him you like besides the type he plays. Once you've had a chance to keep a conversation going for a while but the show is over and they're needing to pack up you mention that you have enjoyed talking with him and would like to do more if his schedule has chunks of time where he can get away to do so. This shows your interest but gives him an easy out if he's not really interested in you as anything more than a fan.
Remember in conversation, people love to talk about themselves so keep asking questions.
When we are attracted to a person, no matter what age we get to, there is a special energy that enhances that attraction and makes the feelings you have so strong that it feels like love. Yes, I know some people fall in love at first sight. Its a crappy deal if only one does and the other is not interested, but thats life. If you don't take the risk, because of fear of heart break, you may never find that significant person. Because these feelings are so strong, they can tend to make us stop living and focus only on the one person. Some people do that even in a marriage, the woman who has no life or interest of her own anymore and focuses to pour her energy only into her husband and kids. This is an unhealthy choice, one can't be balanced in life if doing this. Those who do start dating will experience great energy too, New relationship energy will be so intense for the first few months that the two screen out all their family and friends and other obligations and want to be around each other 24/7. Usually this passes and goes down to a more normal balance where the caring and love is still there but balance comes back and other parts of ones life is now attended to again. So when you are feeling sluggish or depressed over how you feel without knowing how he does, the worst thing to do is sit and indulge those feelings by doing nothing. Get up, get out, see a friend for lunch, take a bike ride, even if you're thinking about him while you ride, go watch a new movie thats out of a favorite actor/actress...simple things like this can help bring you back to balance. And good luck with starting a nice long convo with him.
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