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about Instabang....
My fiance just set up an account on instabang on June 6th 2014...we have been engaged since feb. I know his password ...he doesn't know this but I've been monitoring it to see if there is activity...I agree that you can't do much if you're not paying but I also know that he is for a fact masturbating frequently.....I don't care that he does that, shoot I do it too, or looks at other woman....however if he prefers that to me then I have an issue.....I guess my main question is why on earth would he set up a profile...I can only assume that when he signed up he was thinkin ohhhhhhh what if I can bang someone and she'll never know....he has a job that allows him to be in many places throughout the day???? We are getting married in 3 months and I'm not really sure if I know him....he's told little white lies in the past and I'm concerned they might turn into big dark lies!!!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are right that a person cant do much on instabang or really any web sex site unless paying. Even if not webcam, guys can get satisfaction from seeing just the pics in ads and why? Because the mind is our greatest sex organ. Fantasy is a normal healthy part of a sex life and in a long term relationship like marriage is also quite normal. one under the right circumstances, it is not a problem. A bad circumstance would be the one you mentioned, wanting or prefering another to you. A good one would be that both of you want only each other but you both find it exciting to roleplay and pretend to be that barmaid and swashbuckling pirate, use that type of talk with each other as flirting and love making. Costumes are not needed but some may go that far. Its use of the imagination that makes it special for each other.
My guess is that the two of you have not had many if any talks about where you both stand on your likes and dislikes sexually. I don't know if you are sexually active now or waiting til marriage but either way, its an extremely important talk.
I have done that with anyone I dated until I found my 2nd husband. Friendship is one important foundation in a marriage. The other is sex. So you both need to know you're in sinc/in balance as far as that goes. Even if not sexual yet, you'll have a pretty good idea what aspects sound good to you or not and know how daring or not you may be. How often a person wants sex is one for example. Will you both find use of toys to pleaseeach other one of your things. Are your libidos the s ame? Very important. Some want sex once a month, once a week, once a day or more often. If he wants 2 3 times on days he's not at w ork for example, will that b e okay with you or do you think you will satisfied enough with once a week? There's so much to talk about and it all needs to be gone over before you marry cus you just may not be compatible and one or the other of you may ignore your partner and truly go for a sex partner outside of marriage if unhappy in the sex area but happy with the friendship part.
I believe a man can love his wife as his best friend but the two are a sexual mismatch and neither willing to c ompromise to satisfy each other so the man secretly goes to another woman.
You aren't married yet so nows the time to find out. If the two of you are a big mismatch, marriage won't make it better. Marriage will be mediocre, unhappy and unsatisfying and may at some point end in divorce over this.
His looking at photos now may just be a healthy need. Once married, if his needs are not met through you and yours through him, then there will be a problem. You'll need to bring up sex and things you'll like to shoot for in married life or now if already having sex.
In the discussion, if you find he has always had a high sex drive and masturbates often, it not because sex twice a day isn't satisfying him, its because he actually has a greater appetitie. Same like one person eats like a bird and another can go back for a full plate of seconds. My husband is one of those men with a high sex drive and a need to masturbate at other times. We pretty much have sex daily unless one of us is really ill. Not headaches tho dear, the hormones released by orgasm are the best cure for a headache!
If you and he had talked and hes got the high sex drive and you tell him its okay to talk to you about anything, even needing pics of women to masturbate by, then there's no problem. Let him take lots of pics of you nude or partially so, as artistic as you can make it and he can keep them in a file on his pc to look at anything you aren't around or able to have sex and he'll be a happy camper if he is truly in love with and satisfied by you. My husband has plenty nudes of me. I know he uses them because I woke earlier one morning and came up behind him as he sat at the computer. He wasnt masturbating, just looking at my nude pics. Men are visually oriented in sexual arousal and thats why pics help. Women use their visual screen in their mind imagining scenes from romance books or movies and that can get them the same results without having to look at pics of a man. Same result, different path to get there. Have those talks dear. I hope the two of you are a match in that area or willing to discuss c ompromises now and maybe willing to even try things e ventually with each other as you gain more trust in that area. Good luck.
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