I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
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F/13
ok
i am a christian so i plan on having sex after my marriage. No offense to anyone that hadn't wait, its just my personal belief. Anyways... I have been friends with these 2 friends since pre-school, I am now in 8th grade. Lets call these people J & M. They are the best friends in the world. My other friend L and I have gotten in a fight, its fine now. But L's mom ran into J's mom in the grocery store. L's mom said that one of J's friends was caught having sex in the bathroom at school. J's mom said was it M or A. And L'a mom said no. So this weekend I was questioned. They will believe me eventually because we are best friends. But I dont want one doubt in there mind about me. I promise I would NEVER do anything like that. EVER. I plan to serve the Lord.
Please what should I do?
and please dont say try and talk to them
thank you
sorry this is so long ♥ ♥ ♥ (link)
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The best thing to do is to be yourself. Don't look as if you're worried about something, otherwise they will become suspicious and begin to doubt you again. Erase the thoughts which could come to you, by saying a simple mantra quietly: 'Your're not real, You don't exist' whilst thinking of the doubt which has come to you and image it getting erased from your mind.
Plus, be confident in yourself. You haven't done anything wrong, therefore you shouldn't be worried about anything.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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what are some great friendship songs like your a really great friend and im going to really miss you when you leave what are some songs like that (link)
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1. Any Time you Need a Friend - Mariah Carey
2. I'll be There - Mariah Carey
Hope these two help,
triquetra
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Over the last few years i have stared to have feelings for an old friend, which is now my boss. But due to the work relationship and the strong friendship I have with her I try do everything to make her life easier and more enjoyable in every way with out letting on. If she found out my feeling it would make things more difficult for her and myself to work in the same area. I'm also scared that if she found out and not interested it would be even worse for us. Could any one help with some advise. (link)
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When working for somebody who doesn't know that you've got feelings for them is difficult. Sometimes it works out and everything is okay, but feelings can be distractions when working and i'm sure you don't want that.
Ask her to see whether she's seeing anybody at the moment and see what happens. Ask whether the you two could go out together and see what she says. If it's not possbile, apologise. If it's okay, go out with her.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I'm an actress. I'm in high school (as far as age goes.) The problem here is: I can't find any auditions right now. 0_o
Does anybody know any audition websites or something?
Because I'm in a depression right now. I need to have some kind of part in a play because I think I'm dying of boredom due to lack of being on stage. =[ (link)
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Check out this site:
http://www.stageagent.com/
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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My ex boyfriend (I'll call him L)and I went out for a month last year, and broke up becuz we were just acting like friends (it was our first relationship). Anyway, we are a rare case, because we just got ridiculously closer and its exactly a year today that we were together; we talk everyday, and he is almost like my best friend, only more. Anyway, i never completely got over him. I honestly love him. Not in love, but i do love him so much. We connect in a way that I never have with anyone. And i know he loves me too, we make a cute couple and balance each other well, but two months ago, i told him that i still had feelings for him and he told that we should just be friends. Anyway, my guy best friend's good friend J likes me alot, and I am attracted to him,but I cant see myself with him, because I still like the other guy. So, last night, I asked L for advice on what to do: whether I should give J a chance or not (because he is the only one who could give me a true answer). And he gave the sweetest advice, that if I saw myself with him than I should give him a chance, but if I cant than maybe I shouldnt. I told him that he (L) would be fifth wheel if I went with J (becasue my guybest friend, his girlfriend, me and L...and now J hang out alot). And he told me not to worry about him, and be selfish for once. Then he quietly asked if I liked someone else, why i was so unsure about J...and I didnt want to answer(because of course I like him). There is nothing wrong with J,but I love L, and I want us to have another chance. We are perfect for each other. We are always flirting with each other, and i love the way he talks to me. He said I brighten his day. Should I give J a chance, or try to give it one try with L again (mind you, he might not even want to try it again.) I want L to know that I do love him. I just dont want to get rejected again. But I dont think I can be with J unless..
(link)
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I would say first, decide whom you think about most and whom you've got stronger feelings for. L is right, see whether you can see the two of you having a future together. Second, be sure that that is what L feels, just for you to be friends. Don't give up on him just yet though, if it works between you and J, carry on with that relationship.
I'm sorry that i couldn't give anymore advice on this matter, L did a great job already!!! Trust him because he wants the best for you, and trust yourself. If you don't want to go out with J for the moment, fine, have a break for a while and then see how you feel.
I hope this helped and sorry i couldn't give anymore advice,
triquetra
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Ohhkay. Where to start. I'm confused. It really would be great to get some older opinions on this question. My topic is: teenage love. What does everyone think of it? Because all my friends, or a fair few, will have a boyfriend who they keep for a week or a month or two and they'll be from day one, "head over heels in love". Now, I for one think that's ridiculous! They're 15/16 year olds and, in particular examples, they'll have a week or two, maybe a month of I love You after they met about 2 days previously - or online or something, and then it stops. I for one think that love can't be anything more than infatuation, but I think this has become the image of teenage love. Now I started going out with my boyfriend 11 months ago and I knew I didn't love him at the start. It was like a 15 year old crush on both parts. I didn't admit to myself I loved him until about 5 months had passed. And even then I didn't say it verbally. Now, at 11 months I feel like I can talk about it freely with him and we've never been closer; I really can't see the end right now, even though everything inevitably ends. But my parents seem to think that it won't last and I'm being ridiculous, wanting to see him so much. They say it won't last, although compared to my friends, me and my boyfriend are practically an old aged married couple - they say its ridiculous that tennagers can possibly even contemplate the meaning of the word 'love'. They also say that what I have is hardly a commitment or any kind of dedication even though I feel completely commited , which I will admit came with time (about a month or two, even more so now). I just want to know - is this true? Have any of you ever experienced or seen 'teen love' do anything but crash and burn compared to the relationships people have when slightly older? Do you think that for some people, like me, it could last? Or is it, in your opinion also, likely to end and be forgotten about? Do you think there is more of a sense of commitment when you're more mature or an equal amount?
Thankyou! Your feedback is
VERY MUCH appreciated
Faye. (link)
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Faye, on this site, you get to read a lot of teen relationships which crash and burn with nobody to pick up the peices. Some relationships are sometimes just not meant to be, whilst some others are. It depends upon the couple as to whether their honest with each other and respect each other.
Many teens think that love is something which comes when we want it to, but working with people has helped me to realise that it doesn't. Love just happens, there is no way to explain why.
This is what has happened to you, you didn't love him at first, but now you do. Even though you wanted to deny it, it happened.
I can see this relationship going on for quite a while because i can see you as an open minded person who knows what to do. Trust your instincts for they tend to be right.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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i dont know what to do anymore i liked this bo0oy name kent. he likes someone else i just want too0o0 cry. this boy calls me squints but im in love with him he doesnt call me it the name anymore. i told him i like him alo0oo0ot every one knows about it please help. i just want to die. i need tips to look pretty. im starting to believe im a ugly fat slob i wish i was loved omg (link)
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You can't make yourself pretty just to make somebody else like you, that's not how love works. It only works when the couple feel something towards each other, not one forcing the other to like them.
In my life, i've come to accept two things:
1. Everthing happens for a reason and
2. Some things are just not meant to be.
The reason i think that he's left you is because the right guy for you is still out there, only you need to wait till he comes to you, even is he's somebody whom you didn't expect!!
Keep your chin up and don't doubt yourself, somebody will come and you will know in your heart of hearts that he's the right guy.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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I am going super fast with older guys lately and I am afraid that I am going to ruin my life!?
How do I slow myself down? (link)
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It could be because the guys whom you're going out with aren't the right people for you. Relationships can happen quickly if the match isn't right.
I wouldn't call you a slut because you're just not finding the right guy. Take your time before you go out with somebody, see whether he's the right guy for you and then make your desicion. Everybodies Mr Right (and Mrs Right) is out there, waiting to meet each other.
Don't doubt yourself, you just made mistakes and everybody in this whole world makes mistakes, especially about relationships, because that's the most difficult area to make decisions on.
I hope this helped and good luck with the future,
triquetra.
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what are some ways to break up with a boyfriend without it hurting to much?
(i know it will always hurt a bit but whatever)
please dont say i should say its not you its me lol i already know that
um im planning to do it by myself, and not through a friend, so anything i can say that will "reduce the sting" a bit?
thanks..:) (link)
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When you break up with somebody, there really isn't any way in making it easy. Some people understand and take it well. Others don't.
My only advice which i can give you is to break it gently to him, and gradually. That way, he won't take it as a big shock and won't react at first and it will wash over him as he takes it in as to what you said.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ive known this kid for a couple years now and were pretty good friends. we party alot together. for the past two years he was dating a girl. a few weeks ago they both came to a party and me and him started just talking and stuff like we always do. well his gf got jealous and made a big scene saying i liked him. i did like him but i knew not to show it in front of her. he kept tellin her to stop and go to bed and stuff and she was yelling at him for defending me. they broke up that and the next weekend we started talking talking. we've been hooking up ever since and he's perfect. going to school to be something, nice job, cute, sweet, funny and fun to hangout with. the problem is we've just been hooking up and not really anything else. i know he just got out of a relationship and i dont want to date him but i would know if he cared for me cause i dont want to keep hooking up with this guy if he just wants sex. i know him really good and i dont think he would do that at all but idk. when we hangout he acts like he cares but when we dont nothings going on. we dont talk on the phone or anything cause i dont have the cell and we have to wait until the weekend to hang out cause of school and work. what should i do? (link)
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Give him a little time. Coming out of a break up is hard work, and then all of a sudden, another one comes right out of the blue and he might feel a little bit under pressure.
Give him a week or two and see what happens. Hang out with each other by all means but don't make it seem as if your 'warmin When he begins to act like more of himself, ask him what his feelings are for you and see what he says. Then tell him what you feel because by that time, you will know how you feel because your feelings might grow stronger over those two weeks.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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okay so i met my boyfriend about 7 years ago and hes two years older hen me, we didnt decide to start dating until july of 07. lately he yells at me alot and trys telling me what i can and cannot do and he even has other girls before me on his myspace page, i dont know what to do. For christmas he bought me a very expencive necklace and told me he wanted to be with me for a long time and everytime i accuse him of being a player he says "if i was playin you i wouldnt of bought u anything and we wouldnt have been together for this long" [he has a bad history of being a player] so what should i do? how do i know if hes cheating? and should i leave him? (link)
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Begin to set boundaries. That's the first step. Tell him that you don't like the way that he treats you, but don't make sound as if your not grateful for the things he gave you, otherwise the situation might become complecated. Tell him that it hurts your feelings which he shouts at you and telling you what you can or cannot do. Nobody is the boss of somebody else. Ask him to show a little respect for you and show that he loves you, not to treat you like something else which he can tread all over.
Good luck with teh future,
triquetra
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ok, so there was this girl that went to my school who had cancer for the part 3 years. She was the nicest person i have ever met in my life, and always had something nice to say. She was fun and so much fun to be around. Recently (1-14-08)after going into remission 3 times, she passed away. I'm not saying that i was like best friends with this girl, because i wasn't, but i did know her. We sat together in Chemistry and always talked, and were even going to be lab partners before her cancer came back. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this loss. I just can't handle that this great person is gone and i'm never going to see her again. I cry really easily and everytime someone really bring up her death in school, or there is an announcement made about her, or they show a powerpoint on her life, i start to cry. I went to her viewing today, and just completely broke down. it was just hard to see this person who was so full of life and fun just lying there dead.
I was really just wondering if anyone could give me some advice to help me cope with this loss or anything like that. Thanks (link)
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I'm really sorry about your lose. I understand that this is a really hard time for you. It is really hard when we loose somebody close to us. It's natural for all of us to grieve death, even when we feel strong.
Remember all of the fun times you spent with her, remember that she had a fun life and remember that nobody is ever truly gone when we hold that person in our hearts and memories.
I hoped this helped and once again I'm sorry for your loss,
triquetra
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Okay, I'm writing a story and I'm stuck because I'm basically a hermit so I don't know these things.
The story is about 2 teenagers who go out, but aren't supposed to because they're from two different groups. The boy goes to a private school and the girl goes to a public school.
Anyway they're skipping school to go on their first date, where should it be?
Of course I'm not going to ask what should happen, as it is my story and up to me. But I need a bit of a push of where the location should be so I can make up a story behind it.
It can be anywhere, it doesn't even have to make sense. Thanks a lot! (link)
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Some where like a shopping centre at a cafe, or at the park or even to the woods!
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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So my boyfriend and I were having some technical difficulties, and I want some songs to reassure me that I love him. He lied about something in the past and me,I blow everything out of proportion. So any good songs out there to help me out!? (link)
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1.Without You - Mariah Carey.
2.I will Always Love You - Whiteny Houston.
3.Crazy for You - Maddona.
4.My Heart Will Go on - Celine Dion.
I hope these help,
triquetra
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lets call him J. we were together for 2 months, but we had been really good friends before that, always liking each other, always having a good time. i can tell him anything, he's like my other half. we argued, but we always got over it. and the only reason we argued was because we had so much in common. anyway, on the 15th of january, we were texting and he kept dropping hints that he wanted to take a break. so i came right out and asked him what was going on. he told me that he can't handle the fighting with his parents anymore and the only thing he can think of is to break up. so we did. his parents are reallllly strict, they like me and everything, but hes in 9th grade and i'm in 8th, we live in different school districts. they dont let him go to the movies with just me, and whenever he asks them to hang out with me, they always get in huge arguements over me. so he couldnt handle it anymore. even though my parents are divorced, my moms a whore and my dads an alcohlic and im gettinga new stepmom, i guess he feels the need to complain about how hard his life is when really mine is 10x worse. we had been talking on instant messenger up until last night, he kept saying how he wanted me to still have fun and live life, and not be obligated to him, but he still didnt want this to be the absolute end of us. then, at like 12am, he called me, and was like crying, and he was like Kendall, i love you. and i was like......i love you too....and he was like i've been thinking and i just i love you. i dont want to see you date other guys or anything and i cant wait until next year when i can drive to date you. i cant wait that long. and he kept saying all this stuff and it was like in a movie. it was so cute. but im so confused of what he wants. we havent talked yet today, he's at school, i skipped school. he put 11.20.07 (link)
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Different parents are like that. Some feel protective of their children, some over protective. They just don't want to see him get hurt. Keep in touch with him, to keep his feelings up. He cares about you a lot but don't make it seem as if you're not going out. Keep it to friendship, that way the arguments won't start again and you can still see each other.
I know this sounds really stupid and hurtful but i'm only trying to help you in a way which won't result in an argument.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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Ok so I'm a senior in highschool and I go to a voke and I take childcare. I'll start with that. I don't want to be a preschool teacher when I graduate though. I want to be a nanny , but how do I get a job like that. Where would I start. Please help I'm confuzed on what I have to do or where I start. And I'm only 17 and I'm going to be 17 when I graduate , if that matter. Thanksss in advance. (link)
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First, be sure that this is what you really want to do. Being a nanny takes a lot of responsibility and trust not only from you, from the parents as well.
Check these websites from Google:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=Nanny+Services&meta=
and they should be able to give you a whole range of nursing jobs and find one which will suit you.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i am 15 and a female. Okay i have really like this kid for a long time know, and i talk to him every once in a while at school. and last weekend i stayed at my friends house and she has a twin brother and he had the kid that i like sleep over, and i was kinda shy to like talk to him and everything for a little bit. but he was trying to talk to me but and i started talking to him and he like started flirting wiht me. do you think he likes me or he was jjust flirting becasue that is what guys do.
thanks. (link)
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The only way which you'll ever find out is if you ask him. But from me, i would say that he likes you. I mean you respond to him and he will take that as if you really do want to be with him.
Many realtionships can come out of the blue because people don't know how the other feels. See what he feels towards you and tell him how you feel towards him.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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so heres the deal
ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years on and off.. im really in love with him and this weekend was crazy.. friday we stayed in a hotel 2gether.. and we hang out all the time.. i live in missouri and he lives in illinois. he comes and picks me up all the time.. he calls me his shawty..
the thing is, hes bout 2 b locked up.. hes turnin himself in about 2 weeks.. im waitin on him.. hes not going in for something real bad, it was a big misunderstanding and hell be out real quick.. should i stay with him????/
thanks=]] (link)
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Whe people go to jail (which i hope doesn't happen to your boyfriend), they need people to come and see them, people whom they're close to. If he does, stay with him, he would need the support from somebody like you.
You seem to be a person who really cares about him and want nothing bad to happen to him. No matter how serious the charge is, stay with him.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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my parents say just because we have a really good life i dont appreciate the value of hard work and they say i take them for granted just because i would rather hang out with best friend and god bro roger every day and my girl friend mariah whom i love very much they get mad because i would rather hang out with the girl i love more than anything in the world and my bro roger hes my best friend we have been together every day since i was five we live right next door to each other they just told me that since i take them for granted they're shipping me to a school in north carolina called ashville but rogers parents may send him to i told them i dont wanna go but they don wanna listen they already started looking for available flights so they can start looking at the different campuses their flight left 8 hours ago i dont wonna go because if i do ill lose the love of my life and i cant handle that what should i do (link)
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Just because you hang out with your friends, doens't mean that you need to go to a different school, that's not right.
Go to your parents and say that you love Roger and you don't want to move away. Say that you don't take them for granted and you love them more than anybody else (this is true, isn't it?) but you need to go out and meet your friends every now and then. Spead equal amounts of time with your parents and your friends, not one more than the other.
Now to get your friends to understand, tell them the situation and that you want to spend some time with your family.
I can imagine that many people would take this light heartedly, but not you. You can really have some quality time with your family and have fun at the same time. Watch films with them, walk with them and have good family discussions. I have faith that you can do this.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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16/f. my friend, 15/f...one of my best friends...has changed a lot since this year. reasons: i got a boyfriend and she didnt. i developed more and she didnt. stuff like that.
now, she's very mean towards me. she mocks me, she makes fun of me..and i cant trust her anymore. when she asks me to tell her something, i trust her with my secrets...and so i tell her.
she goes to her OTHER friends...and tells them everything i told her. even after i told her not to. she has a big mouth and is very obnoxious. she's turning into a bitch and i cant do anything about it. she even told me thatt she was jealous.
i cant have a person like that around me. yet..its so hard to end a friendship, but i feel that if i dont...she will hurt me so much in the end.
what can I do? (link)
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Ask her why she's doing this. You won't be really able to find out why she's acting like this until you aks her.
If she's jealous, i can understand how she's feeling, so read on.
She feels as if you're doing what she wants to do, what she dreams about. You've got a realtionship going, your developing more than she is and she just wants to be like that, though she isn't.
Try and reach out to her and say things. But not "You'll develop soon" or "I know you'll get a boyfriend soon": this will just upset her more because you've already gotten to that stage and 'soon' can be a long time.
So, what to do, go to her and say that you're not a diferent person, even after all of this. You still want to be friends and you don't like this rivalry between the two of you.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
She's being mean to you because she's angry that you've gotten to where she isn't and she's trying to 'bring you down' back to her level. I know that this is harsh but you can't rule out what she's done.
So, what to do. Don't go and yell at her and shout. Go and say that you still want to be frineds with her. This can be hard for you to do, but say that you're not a different person, just somebody who's...you know...developed more. Ask whether you can still be friends, you don't like this rivalry between you two.
Play it safe for a while and be kind to her,
tri
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