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is my boyfriend cheating?
okay so i met my boyfriend about 7 years ago and hes two years older hen me, we didnt decide to start dating until july of 07. lately he yells at me alot and trys telling me what i can and cannot do and he even has other girls before me on his myspace page, i dont know what to do. For christmas he bought me a very expencive necklace and told me he wanted to be with me for a long time and everytime i accuse him of being a player he says "if i was playin you i wouldnt of bought u anything and we wouldnt have been together for this long" [he has a bad history of being a player] so what should i do? how do i know if hes cheating? and should i leave him?
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"If I was playin you i wouldnt have bought you anything"? Maybe he felt guilty for something and felt the need to buy you something expensive. If you've ever seen Madea, then she would say that if you think that your man is cheating, then he is. Go with your suspicions, but dont make it obvious. Now dont do all of this stuff you see and hear like looking through his cell phone and whatnot. When you go out, how does he look at other women/girls. Until you get enough facts...
Cliche Time: He's guilty until proven innocent
Hope that helps...
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Begin to set boundaries. That's the first step. Tell him that you don't like the way that he treats you, but don't make sound as if your not grateful for the things he gave you, otherwise the situation might become complecated. Tell him that it hurts your feelings which he shouts at you and telling you what you can or cannot do. Nobody is the boss of somebody else. Ask him to show a little respect for you and show that he loves you, not to treat you like something else which he can tread all over.
Good luck with teh future,
triquetra
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What I would do for your own sake and self-respect is set boundaries. Don't let him tell you what you can and cannot do, that's controlling. You have to set boundaries for yourself and simply say, "I'm not comfortable doing/not doing that." You'll find that he'll respect you a lot more later on.
As far as myspace goes, it's myspace. If he's cheating on you through myspace he's not even worth your time. But as far as knowing if he's cheating on you or not, there's no way of "knowing." If he can't be honest with you about it [which would be hard for him I'm sure] then you have a couple of choices. You can break up with him just because you had doubt in his loyalty, or you could stay with him and set boundaries for yourself.
People say "once a player, always a player." Well, I believe people do change. You might be the girl that takes the player out of the game, you know what I mean. You just have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if he's worth keeping around. Maybe he's not mature enough for someone like you. I think that once you've gotten some good advice, and a clear head, you should have a serious conversation with him, without arguing, and just tell him how you're feeling and what it is you want, and what you want from him. If he is willing to respect your wishes, then give him another chance [that's just my advice. do what you do], if he wants to argue, then don't waste your time. You can't change him, he has to be willing to change. This is just my personal opinion, if you didn't like what I have to say there are plenty of people with a lot of different opinions, but I hope you do what's right for you. Good luck and keep me posted hun. ~Love Angel
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It seems like he's playing that, I'm proving you my love with jewelry, NOW believe me! He doesn't sound good at all. Once he starts telling you what you can do and what you can't, it's going downhill. If he doesn't have you as number one, it's rather odd... unless those girls are his best friends before he met you. If you don't like your boyfriend and how he's treating you, then you don't need this anymore. To me.. it seems like he put you on the side. So he can flirt or do whatever sly thing, then come back to you. Since he's trying to buy your love with something expensive, he's probably thinking you'll still around. Maybe he's not cheating or flirting, but he doesn't sound like a good boyfriend anyway. If you have tried to change things with his behavior and it's not working, then leave him. You said he has a bad history being a player.. so if he's acting suspicious then give back the necklace. Cheating? Well he would probably cancel dates with you, go out to places you don't know where and with who, works late, is somewhat secretive, etc etc.
A way you can find out if he's cheating, is to get one of your friends to hang out where he's at. Watch him a little and see if he's being a little too flirtatious. If you're close with one of HIS friends, you can talk to them about it.
I wouldn't bother with that because he doesn't treat you right.
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You shouldnt let him tell you what you can and cannot do thats nun of his business. As long as your not doing anything bad then don't worry about it. If he loves you then he would want you to be happy, not be holding you down from doing stuff that would make you happy. Thats not right him putting other girls on his myspace before you unless they are related. You can't tell if he is cheating on you right now just spend more time with him and if he makes up odd excusis for not being able to then thats a sign that he is cheating on you. If you find out he is don't hesitate to break up with him. Best of luck
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