I finally updated my picture, I thought it was time for an update on it so I picked my favorite picture. After all, my previous picture was almost 2 and a half years old!
My name is Ryan. And I will answer most everything you want to ask to the best of my God given ability.But I will not sugar coat any answer and I will give MY advice. I don't care about my ratings, so don't think giving me a 1 for an answer you don't want to hear will scare me. And if you already know what you should do about a sitaution, don't come to us here at advicenators asking for a second opinion. And here below is a list of questions you should NOT ask on advicenators. Granted some of them may vary and be acceptable, but overall don't ask the below questions on Advicenators.
**Don't ask questions like "OMG i heard this song on the radio with "insert pointless pop lyrics here" and i wanna know what it is so what is it! Thanks!! I rate 5sssss! hearts". This question can be simply googled with the lyrics, or you need only ask a friend
**Don't ask "ok so there is the hott guy/gal in my class and he/she like got me a *insert gift or simple trinket here* do you think he/she likes me?" This is the most common question here on this website sadly. Unless it is vitally important and actually pertains to a feeling of true feelings, don't ask it. This is most asked by teens. And what teens need to learn is "love" is not thinking a guy/girl is sweet and hott and nice. I know love, and it is so far from all those things. Remember Cicero when he said "Out of all the emotions, love is the most violent. Love is madness."
**"Ok so me and my boyfriend had sex last night and we like used no protection omg he came in me do you think i am pregnant?" Ugh. Stupid teens and their hormones. IF YOU HAVE SEX YOU ALWAYS RUN THE RISK OF PREGNANCY, UNLESS YOUR STERILE. And if you don't know anything about sex, you shouldn't be doing it. Even if you "love" your partner, half the time this is a disallusion and you will end up hurt. Sex is for marriage.
**Or asking what's "in" for fashion, or what they should wear out tonight. Or what is "cute" and what looks good. Pick and choose for yourself what you like, think for yourself instead of trying to let other people do it for you. Stand up and be yourself.
These are the most common questions I have seen on Advicenators. Now there are a few questions that are very good questions and deserve the 3 rating and the best answer possible. But they are usually blocked out with the kinds of questions listed above. If you want to ask something, check the following off that I am listing.
1.Does the question pertain to anything important or trivial?
2.Is proper grammar used?
3.Is the question long and in one paragraph?
4.Is it a question that you yourself can answer?
5.Is there enough detail?
Following those 5 guidelines, you can write a good 3 point answer. That about wraps it up.
I spend alot of time online and here on advicenators, so if you ever need anything then just send something in my inbox or IM me. I'm not opposed to helping people at all, in fact I love doing it. I just want some people to wake up from asking a stupid question.
Thank you all for your time.
Gnothi seauton - Know thyself My Motto
E-mail: alpha_0mega345@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Location: New Palestine, Indiana
Occupation: Movie Theater Employee
Age: 17
AIM: Alpha0mega345
Yahoo: alpha_0mega345@yahoo.com
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Member Since: July 13, 2005
Answers: 496
Last Update: May 17, 2008
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I've been home for the last week and it is so boring!! I'm home alone from when i wake up to 11:30. What can I do other than eat, go on the computer, read, and watch TV because that is what I've been doing. So bored! My summer is wasting away! (link)
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Sorry to hear your summer is going so cruddy. Mine is about the same way. I get up around 12:30, eat lunch, then run and work out, then either get on the comp, read, or bum around til dinner. Then I basically repeat everything til about 3 in the morning (I have trouble sleeping). Do you have any friends you can call and talk to? Maybe you could try to plan something with them. Best advice to get your summer (or what is left of it) going better is to do stuff with your friends and stay in touch with them. Your summer will alot better when you got your friends around to talk to and do whatever with, trust me. Hope your summer gets better and this advice helps!
-Ryan
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Sorry this is such a long question but I need help:
Ok my grandma died in April but why am I still crying about her? Every little thing about her makes me cry. None of my family members are crying anymore. She has been close to all of us and will always be dear to my heart. She came in her little cart because she couldn't walk just to see my sister play a softball game. She died so suddnely. She died at a Grizzlies game and that was the best place for her to die. How do I stop crying and thinking about her everytime I hear her name or think about her?
(link)
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I'm sorry for her dying. You said you were close to her and you still mourning is really acceptable. Let time run its course on you and remember everything good about her that you know and hold onto her memory and in time you will find relief from her death, trust me on that because that is what happened to me when my great grandmother died. She was the oldest in my family and had Alzheimers and the time I got to spend with her was very precious to me and when she died I drew into a really deep withdraw and wasn't the same for a good 2 months afterward. Just let time run it's course with you and in time you will feel better about her death and stop crying about her, trust me. Hope this helps.
-Ryan
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Please only answer this question if you have read the book!!!
I was wondering how many people liked the book(Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince) because i work at a bookstore and we have really been wondering what people think of the book!!!
thankees
(i rate high!!) (link)
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Personally I enjoyed the book. Alot of questions got answered and we finally get to see who Voldemort really is and who he was. Also there was a good plot and the story moved very nicely for me.
The only thing I didn't like was the end. I don't have very high hopes for book 7 now because of the ending of book 6, but I still will read book 7.
But otherwise the book was very good, definately one of my favorites for sure out of the Harry Potter series. If I were to give it a rating I would say 9/10, and only getting the nine with the ending, otherwise the rest of the book was increadibly good.
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this is really stupid.. but i met this guy online and i started to like him ALOT. well anyway i met up with him yesterday he is the sweetest/cutest guy EVER. I mean we had such a GREAT time! Well anyway he asked me if I wanted to go out another time.. and I said yes.. but see he's never done ANYTHING with a girl except for hug.. and yesterday we didnt do anything! If we go out again will he have the nerve to hold my hand?? and if he doesnt do i just grab his HELP ME PLEASE! (link)
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Well not all that stupid. I have been in the exact same situation. I can say I am like the guy who you met online and you are my ex girlfriend. A friend introduced us via the internet and we hooked up this past new years eve. Well I hadnt done anything more with a girl cept for a hug, and she knew that ahead of time (and she sounds just like you). She was really looking forward to meeting me and thought I was the sweetest and coolest guy she had ever met so she made the first move on me. We were at a party at her friends house and we were walking alot around the town I live in (her friend lives right down the street from me) and on the way back she started holding my hand and then she kinda spaced herself and me from everyone else we were with and then she flat out kissed me in the middle of the street. Ok from the little story I just told, start out slow. Hold his hand first, and then maybe follow the story I told, or take it at whatever pace you want. Or just do what you think is best. Hope maybe the advice and story I gave helped and good luck with him, hope it works out for you.
-Ryan
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ok, its really hard to explain this without going into detail on the last 8 years of my life, but ill try my hardest- 14/m
I have loved this girl my entire life and we have been great friends, and i asked her out and she said yes. Well that was about 7 or 8 months ago, and she turned out to be a SUPER freezer (for those of you who dont know, its a person who doesnt do ANY thing on dates). She wasnt at first and i thought we were goin pretty well, but then all the sudden she said she needs her space and she told me to back off a lil and slow down. and that was about 3 months ago, and then all the sudden i felt like she had broken up with me cause she didnt do ANYTHING. All the sudden i was getting to feel depressed and stuff (it wasnt only cause of her doin that, i had other stuff goin on too, and she wasnt there for me) and the last week ive called her like 6 times and she never called me back. well i swam over the summer, and i had a friend who i kinda liked last year, and so i was hangin with her, well i think i kinda love her now, and i was debating on breaking up with the first girl and goin with the second. Well, that wont work, because all the sudden the first girl is starting to show just enough that she really likes me and prolly loves me back. so now im stuck in a bind because half of me is sayin break up with her and get over her, and then go with the next girl, and half of me says stay with her and give her the chance. but i already told the second girl im breakin up with the first, so now all the sudden im just plain caught in the middle, and i have no idea what to do! please help! i rate high!!!! (link)
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Try and be friends with the first one but I think you need to let her go as your girlfriend. She isn't paying any attention to you so it is pretty obvious she doesn't have a thing for you anymore. The other girl though does and you got something for her now, maybe time to move on a bit. Do what you think is right, but my advice is go with girl #2, but still make sure your friends with girl #1, because that is no cool to lose a friend that you have had for that long.
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okay well this guy i really like is going out with the prettiest girl in my grade. He isn't a hottie or anything, but I've liked him since 6th grade, and I'm in 8th. The night she asked him out (at a school dance) I was going to work up enough nerve to ask him. I feel like, if I asked before her, he would have said yes; only because we are so close. I was up practically everynight i saw or even talked to him, thinking about him. I started cutting myself i liked him so much. I cut myself only to make myself stop thinking about him. But eventually it just got worse. I want to stop cutting myself, and start taking it like a normal person (link)
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You need to stop cutting yourself. If you feel you can't do it alone then tell a close friend have have them try and help you. A guy/girl is no reason to start cutting yourself just to make yourself. Get some help so you can stop. Then when you have that out of your system, then talk to him and see where that can go from there. Good luck and hope this advice helps.
-Ryan
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i have a problem. i really love my boyfriend but i can't stop cheating on him. i have cheated on him close to 10 times with a bunch of different guys (one of the them was his best friend). i really do love him and i don't want to break up but no matter how hard i try i always end up cheating. help! by the way i'm 14.
from,
emily (link)
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Well, maybe you should reasess your love and relationship with your boyfriend. You have cheated on him almost 10 times now right? I really don't want to say this in any negative way but from the sound of what your telling me, your love for him isn't really true. My honest advice is you need to see where you stand with him and if you think you can't not cheat on him then you need to break up with him on friendly terms so he can still be your friend. But if you think you can resist cheating and stay only with him, then by God stay with him. If you keep cheating on him eventually he is going to find out or get a very strong impression you are cheating and then you will most likely break up on unfriendly terms and probably lose him as a friend (which I am undoubtfully sure you do not wish to lose him as a friend *Nor do I want you to lose him as a friend because losing friends like that sucks, plain and simple* ). Do what you think is right and maybe use this advice to help you. I really hope I helped and everything works out. Good luck to you, if you need anything else..just IM or email me and ask. Hope this helped.
-Ryan
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all off my friends dont like my girlfriend but i really like her, what should i do (link)
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Heh, I have a friend who has been in this situation. Me and 2 of my other friends were pretty much those 3 guys from Without A Paddle, crazy and somewhat inseperable. My one friend Mike had this chick he hooked up with and they went out for the longest time and the whole time me and my other friend Joel pretty much hated her. She did nothing but put us down, insult us, and did everything she could to keep us away and make Mike hate us. It didn't end well, my friend Mike ended up breaking up with her under very bad conditions (She gave him the choice between his 2 best friends, or her, and he picked his friends) and she is still trying to get him back (Been around 4 months now, one would figure she would take a hint?). Listen the point of my little story is you need to listen to your friends to some point but not always. Go with what you think is best and if you think your friends are wrong then just sitck with her. Easyily said. Hope everything works out and this advice helps.
-Ryan
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I just had surgery and i can't really walk very well and i have to go to registration at middleschool in 2 days. I am not sure if i will be better by then and i am nervous that people will think i am a weirdo if i walk around limping. What should i do? (link)
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You just had surgery! Why the heck should they think your weird if your limping about after surgery? Don't worry about what the people will think. You just had surgery and you can't walk well because it was so recent, that is all you can say. And if they do think any less of you, then you have no reason to even worry about them. Glad your surgery went well and hope this advice helps.
-Ryan
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I'm 15 and my sister is 14 and she cuts herself. I just found out like 45 mins ago bc she left me a comment on my xanga saying she has a career she was looking into but she didnt know how much it paid and she wouldnt tell me what it was so I figured that maybe she searched it up on the search bar. When I checked the search bar history I found a bunch of stuff about "I cut myself" and "I cut myself and a friend wants me to stop" and such. Then, since it's late at night and she usually is in the basement at night, I tried to sneak downstairs but she caught me.
Well she started casually talking to me and asking me why I was downstairs and I looked at her arms and saw they were bloody and I almost started crying but then I mentioned how I found the articles and started asking her about it and she just smiled goofily and I looked at her arms and saw all these scars I saw before but never thought of as cutting herself just from cats. And I said "why would you do something so stupid, whos your friend" and she said "dont tell anyone, it doesnt matter, you used to cut yourself" (which I briefly cut my wrists for 3 months last fall, it was a dumb mistake and I even told her that I only did it because I thought it would make my problems go away but it never helped) and she just tried to play it off as a huge joke, and said dont tell anyone, its not a big deal. But it was! These weren't little puny cuts they werent to big but not puny! She said she doesnt tell ppl about them (xcept that friend) but thats why she wears hoodies all yr.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I want to tell my parents but I dont want her to get mad. I really want to tell my best friend but she's not online and I'm just confused. This is my baby sister and I dont want her hurting herself. I asked her why she was doing this to herself and she didnt have a clearcut response but argh.
Please help. I really need some guidance on this I'm very confused. (link)
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She must realize she has some kind of problem with it because she has been running searches on it. You need to talk to her seriously about it, get her to stop because even just a little bit of cutting can lead to worse things. Talk to her, you can try and relate to maybe why she is cutting because you said yourself briefly that you had cut prieviously. But talk to her and find out whats wrong so then you can try and stop her. I wouldn't tell your parents or anyone else unless if she continues to cut and you couldn't do anything to stop her through talking to her. Just be there for her and try to find out whats wrong because then you can find why she is doing it and find a solution to it. I hope you are able to get through to her and help her stop and hope this advice helps.
-Ryan
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Okay, so my best friend "Christina" and I both have pasts that deal with suicidal type things. She was in a mental hospital earlier in the year, and when she came out she promised to stop cutting or try to call me whenever she felt like that, and I promised the same to her. About a week ago, my grandmother died, and the other day I got a call from her, saying she was going back into the hospital. I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said she wanted to give me time to "mourn." I feel like she doesn't trust me as much as she says she does, and I don't know what to say to her, because I'm hurt that she wouldn't talk to me and I'm scared that she's gonna hurt herself too badly someday, and I don't know what to do to help her anymore. Any advice on what I should say when I talk to her next? (Sorry this is so long) (link)
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Eh, don't worry about the length, it's nothing. You need to talk to her and just let her know you are there and don't want anything bad to happen to her because she is your friend. Just be a friend and listen to her on whatever she has to say and say what you feel you need to say. Be here friend no matter what, that would be my best advice. Hope it gets better (and sorry for your grandmother's death) and this advice helps.
-Ryan
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ok my mom is WICKED over protective. tonite i wanted to go to this little concert thats going on at 6:30 about 20 minutes away. I asked her if i could go with my older cousin and shes like "well you didnt even tell me what time or where.." and i told her where and shes like "NO WAY" and it seems like she's totally against the people that live there ( even though they arent bad) and plus I was meeting up with some of my friends there. How can i get her to let me go to SOMETHING?? oh yeah..I'm 14 (link)
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You need to sit her down and talk to her about this, tell her you think she is being overprotective. Tell her your 14 and you are gonna need more freedom to do what you want to do because your old enough to have some more freedom. Also give her lots of reasons to relax the overprotectiveness that she has (positive things that will show her she doesn't need to be so protective). Hope this advice helps and hope she lightens up a bit!
-Ryan
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hey i been friends with Ashely for about 6 years and we are best friends and we were going out to dinner and a movie with group of friends and i pick here up and i walk in and i show her cuting her self and her dad and mom was not home i dont want Ashely to get her or i know some times u can die from cutting your self do u think i should tell some one or just keep it to myself? (link)
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Cutting yourself is very serious and can lead to death and a whole host of other problems. You need to talk to her about this, find out why she is doing it and try and resolve it. I wouldn't go and tell anyone about it just yet, only tell another if you can't do anything about it and your help didn't work. You need to find out why she is doing it and get her to stop. Be her friend and listen to why she is doing it and help her the best you can. I hope everything works out for you and this advice helps.
-Ryan
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How do guys feel about dating girls younger than them ? i know this guy who seems to like me , but i want to know if i should flirt more . I'm 13 , and he's 15 (: thanks ! (link)
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Age doesn't really matter that much, my last girlfriend was atleast a good year or so younger then me (just don't ask me how that turned out..bad expierence). Just go with who you want to go with, don't worry about age, it doesn't really matter at all. Hope this helps and it works out for you.
-Ryan
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ok..well i know a lot of you will be wondering why im asking this. Its because my bf and I were messing around and after i gave him a handjob he fingered me and i dont know if he got cum on his hands ..i know i know..slim to none chance im pregnent but anyways..just got me thinking of aboruion soo...
is abotion legal in new york?
if im under 18 do i have to have a parent with me?or just someone who is 18?
how much does it cost?
how bad does it hurt if you have had experience
i dont want to hear lectures..just some facts..5's for helpful people (link)
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Abortion is wrong in my book. I consider it murder and what you need to really do is put the baby up for adoption and not go through with the abortion. I bet that if you do that then you will feel alot better than going and killing your unborn child. It is ultimately up to you and do what you think would be best. But please remember my advice before you go through with an abortion. Do you want to have the death of YOUR unborn child on your mind for the rest of your life? Hope it works out and this advice gets through.
-Ryan
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omfg i need an answer quickly please!
i am not really a cutter, only on occassions. today i was very stressed and cut, deep and long. (not too deep obviously) as i was getting dressed my sister saw it. she said if i didnt go to my friends house she wouldnt tell, so i stayed home. then she came in later and said she was still thinking about telling. you don't realize how upset my mother will get, how pissed my dad will be, i don't want to hurt my parents! i regret doing it, i will never again. i told my sister that, but she doesnt believe me! what do i doto convince her not to tell! what do i do if she does tell! (link)
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Listen, there are better ways to relieve a stressful day other than cutting. You need to talk to your sister about it and tell her you do not want your parents to know and be very serious about it. Cutting won't help you relieve a stressful day and it certainly will NOT help you in the long run. In every case I have seen of someone cutting they do it again, which makes it worse and worse, until it comes to a point where it is like an addiction, and as you are most likely aware, addictions can ruin your life and lead to a whole new host of problems. Please talk to your sister then make a hard effort not to cut yourself anymore, no matter how the stressful the day has been or how bad your life may seem. I will pray for you and I hope this gets better for you and I sincerly hope this advice helped.
-Ryan
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Okay well this is a bit of a weird question but ah well.
I can't smile! My normal expression makes me look unhappy, even when I'm not. People always think I'm giving them a dirty look and when I try and smile at them it looks forced and bitchy. I can smile when it comes naturally but if someone asks me to, I can't. It's starting to become a real problem as everyone thinks I'm being unfriendly when I can't help it.
How can I learn to smile? (link)
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I was the same way (and still sometimes am) and I had the same problem you do. What you need to do is to just practice smiling in the presence of your friends, because when you do that then your friends are gonna make you laugh at yourself trying it and then you will just smile from the moment, trust me that works. I used to just let it slide, I was infamous for always having my "game face" on whenever I played sports or had to do something. It's not something you want to just live with because it will give people wrong impressions. Just try maybe having some with it with your friends. I hope everything gets better and this advice helped!
-Ryan
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alright, i have a question. my parents decided not to go to curch for awhile...but we ARE going back. i HATE the people at that church. none of the kids in youth group are nice to me...or talk to me. and im a shy person so i dont want to go up to them and to top it all off the teachers are MEAN! and they have no clue wat theyre doing! how do i tell my parents i dont like it and i want to go to another church?
p.s. my mom and dad LOVE the church
p.s.s. i rate really high (link)
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Nevermind the "I rate really high", I'm not writing this for that so I don't care what you rate, if you rate at all. You need to talk to your parents about it. Also you probably need to overcome your shyness to a point where you can go up to them and find out why they don't like you and talk to them about it. But definately talk to your parents about this, tell them what is happening and make a point about it. I hope it all smooths out for you and hope this advice helped!
-Ryan
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I know this is gross and stuff...but its true....i was raped by my teacher and he swore that if i tell anyones hes going to kill me and I see him all the time...like he is following me or something to make sure I am not telling...and so I dont know how to tell anyone beczuse he said he would kill me...anyone have any ideas...because i am scared to tell someone
plz help!
thanks (link)
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First, you tell your parents, and then in turn tell the police. First though, make sure you have proof. Immediately you need to go to the doctor and have him run a test for any sperm that may be left over from the rape, because if they get any, then they have DNA on him, and there is no defense for that in court. Go in the order of parents->police->then doctor. Please, PLEASE tell someone, this isn't something that needs to be left untold and nothing done about. I got vendetta for bastards like your teacher. I have a good friend who was molested by her uncle at age 10 and the anger I feel for people who force sex upon another knows no bounds. I am extremely sorry this happened to you, it shouldn't happen to anyone but sadly it does, which makes me mad everytime thinking about it. Please tell someone, I beg you. Get this bastard behind bars and out of your life and everyone else's live's before he gets the chance to do it again. PLEASE TELL SOMEONE. I pray for you and I know this will work out and this man, this bastard, will go to jail.
-Ryan
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I have a very bad case of Arachnephobia. I've always been afraid of spiders, but it wasn't always like a phobia. (Phobia here is defined as an irrational fear that interferes with normal living). It started about a year or two ago, when after a shower, I was toweling off, and there was a large spider on my towel. I hated spiders, so I flung the towel across the room, and spend the next half hour curled up, crying. It scared me half to death. Then later, my cousins and I went to a park, and there was a profusion of spiders. My little cousin Andy loves spiders, so he pointed out every single one. They were each about 4-6 inches long. After about five minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I hid in the car and cried. Things reached their worse when last month, I woke to find a strange bite on my arm. I figured it was just a bug bite, and ignored it. By noon that day, the area near the bite had swollen into a huge bump, about three inches long and one across, and at least a half inch high. I was feeling naseous, and terrified. I was so afraid that I refused to sleep in my bed that night.
Things have just gone down hill from there. Some nights, I won't sleep because I am afraid of the spiders. I check my blankets almost every night, and sometimes sleep in another room. I shake my towel out before using it. I check the shower and garage for spiders before entering. I know this is irrational and abnormal, but somehow I can't help it. What should I do?
(link)
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I got the same deal with spiders, I hate them and I freak out whenever I see one. I guess some of that can derive from my mom getting a bite by a brown recluse spider on her ankle when I was very young and her coming pretty close to death because of it (she still has the distortions and marks there too). Another reason is that I do not like the way the move or just how the look. Everything about spiders I hate. Your not alone with Arachnephobia, trust me. I would say it has to be one of the most common phobia's out there. The best advice I can give you is to just kill them when you see them (or have someone else do it for you). And to kinda check with your eyes if there is a spider somewhere near you. Also you can try seeking professional help for this. I really hope this gets better for you, I know what your feeling and hope this advice helps.
-Ryan
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