advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: ok, well i am in 5th grader and a girl, and there is this boy i like, i had a friend dare him on an index card to go out with me, he said "no." idon't know if he knew it was serious, and idk if he is the dating kind of boy..he is really nice and a lot of boys said he likes me but i think they were folling around, everyone else has a date and i don't so i want to try and be his asap. what should i do????
well, you can't FORCE a guy to go out with you.
Either he likes you or he doesn't.
But if a lot of people are saying he likes you, he probably does. He is just shy.
So you should write him a note or something and ask him to go out with you, instead of having a friend do it.
Why? Because if you have a FRIEND do the dirty work FOR you, he may take it as a joke.
And that's why he is saying no.
Maybe if he knows you are being serious, he will say yes.

reply and let me know if this work.

xoxo, Kayla.

Q: okay so theres this guy i really like he is 1 year younger than me but we go to the same school. today he asked me to kiss him but i guess it was a joke and i am kind of sad. what should i do?
Guys can be so mean.
But you know what?
That's USUALLY their way of hinting that they like you.
I mean, does he do that to any other girls?

I know how you feel, babe.
Trust me.
Give me a relationship problem and I have been through it.
The best thing you can do right now is to ignore him.
This makes him want you.
If you act like he doesn't exist and just talk to your other friends, he'll feel like he can't HAVE you because YOU'VE moved on.
Then, he'll want you even more so he'll start talking to you more and more, possibly annoying you to get you to notice him.
I know, guys are complicating.
they just are
they don't have a clue what they want.
Us, girls, know what we want and we want it NOW and exactly how we want it.
But guys are different.
They don't express feelings like... normal.
they show it in different ways.
depending on the guy.
some guys may play around with you or want to walk you to class or be mean to you but deep down, they want you.
complicated, I know.
But just try it out.
Come back to me if it doesn't work and we'll work out plan B together.

I hope I helped you in any way.

And I'm extremely sorry if I didn't.


Q: I am 11 and i would just like to know around what weight is healthy for an 11 (almost 12) year old girl without her period. (in kilograms)
I would love to answer this question babe but I don't know in kilograms.

I have a 12 year old sister [[just turned 12 in November]] that weighs about 65 pounds but she's pretty small for her age so I would say around 70 or 80 pounds.


I hope I helped you in any way.
And I'm extremely sorry if I didn't.

Q: I really like a guy but we dont really know each other. AND this crush is so huge that i forget what to say!!!! I tried telling him but I could'nt get it out! and he's one grade higher.
The last boyfriend I had died. And i dont know how to get him to realize that i like him!! I'm a girl. I'm from Illions.
I'm really sorry.

Guys mostly like confident but not cocky girls.
You know?
Like, you believe in yourself but you don't show off.
Guys like that in a girl.
Try flirting like, over the internet or something and see how he reacts.
If he seems into you, then it shouldn't be that hard at all to talk to him.
Work up the courage, babe.
If you flirt [[don't tell him flat out that you like him. It turns most guys off]] then he SHOULD flirt back.
A guy cannot turn down a flirting girl.
Well, I guess my advice to you is to work up the courage.
Or become his friend first.
Get close.
And then, make your move.

Best of luck.
I hope I helped you in any way and I'm extremely sorry if I didn't.


Q: ok here is the deal i have never played volleyball and i just started and our first game is this saturday im afraid I willmess up and the crowd will laugh.What should i do?
Everyone makes mistakes, hun.
No one on this earth is perfect.
Sometimes, you're gonna mess up and may embarass yourself but even if that were to happen, I'm sure it would blow over in no time.
But anyways,
all you need to do is try your VERY best to strive for what you want.
You're there to win that game.
That's all the coaches ever ask for.
Do YOUR best.
Don't try and show off or prove to someone that you're better than them.
That'll get you all worked up and then in the end, BOOM.
You fall flat on your face.
You don't want that to happen.
So I guess my advice to you would be to try your very best, and most importantly, don't think about what other people think of you.
They might laugh but if you laugh with them and be like "hahaah yeahh that was pretty funny"
They'll move on and your tiny mistake will be forgotten about.
Best of luck.

I hope I helped and I'm extremely sorry if I didn't.


Q: I think my best friend has major jelousy issues and I don't know how to help her out. Example: If someone has one of her favorite songs on their myspace or something she gets mad. She acts like she's the only one who can like it. Same with layouts and colors for A.I.M. She's really spoiled but her family isn't even rich. Her parent's can't make her understand that they need important things for the family besides Abercrombie clothes.

There is a guy she likes and he has a girlfriend. She was talking all trash on her saying how she was fat and ugly.. and seriosyly, she's not. If I hang out with other friends, she gets mad at me. She didn't make a volleyball team and soccer team and she threw the biggest fit!! She kept yelling at her mom like it was her fault and was being really bitchy towards me. She also gets upset if she isn't first in someones profile or something. If she's last or something, she gets upset.

Anyways, she's my best friend and I would never justt blow her off and I've sat down with her and talked to her about it but she gets mad and then forgets about it. I mean, there are good things about her but it just drives me insane and I don't know what to do.
No problem! If you wanna IM me on AIM, you can... my screen name is xoxokaylanicole... what's yours?

Q: Me and my best girl freind have been really close for a while. Over the summer we went on vacation together and we ended up hooking up a lot of times, and I kind of liked it, but i still like guys. What does that mean?
Well, the term defined "Liking both sexes" is called bi-sexual.

It's not gross and it's nothing to be ashamed of but you too could maybe possibly... become more than friends! ;-)

♥ Kayla

Q: Ok some of ya'll may remember that problem of mine. well turns out all of you were right and so was I, something had happened and his mom wouldn't let him talk or something like that. He called Friday and was like I'm soooo sorry I haven't called baby! ANd then went on with what happened. So We are ok now I think..... He hasn't called today but I'm ok with that because we are basically the ideal "couple" at school. Because we never get in fights unles its something horrible lol, and we love and trust each other completely so why throw that away? lol well thanks for all your help!
I'm really glad everything worked out for you two. I hate to see any relationship that good end. :-]]

♥ Kayla

Q: So i really liek this kid thats 2 years older than me..and i think he might have an interest in me..but we used to be able to talk for hours and now..when he signs on i get a weird feeling in my stomach..and i can never get him off my mind. and now i dont know how to IM him. I really like him..and his one close friend said he did. But, i dont know if i should get more info out of his friend or not. Please help!

I'm not saying that his friend is lying but sometimes, you should always believe other people. It's a lot more accurate if you do it yourself. Just say, "Hey." in the IM and see what he says.

It's not gonna hurt to flirt a little. Flirting is a good thing and gives them the HINT to ask you out to make it more obvious.

Don't THROW yourself at him or whatever. Just be cool. Be yourself! :-]]

Act like you're into him and he'll start getting interested in you and nature will take it's course from there.

Whatever happens just happens and whatever doesn't wasn't meant to be. It's that simple.

Just talk to him. It's easier than it looks. lol.

It's not embarrassing or anything. You're just making conversation and if he's mature, he'll know that and take it to heart.

Be flirty but not "I love you"ish just yet. Be confident but not cocky. :-)

With this advice, you should do fine! :-]]

If you need anything else, you know where yo find me! ♥

♥ Kayla

Q: When I talk and flirt with a boy, he usually flirts back. Then I jump on the fact that he likes me just as much as I like him. How do I chill out, and idk, "play that game" where it doesn't seem like I'm desperate to be with him. Sometimes I can scare guys away like that, what should I do?

You need to relax. Take it SLOW. Relationships take time. They don't grow overnight. You have to work at them.

Flirt a little but if he flirts back, don't assume all these things like he wants to marry you or anything. lol.

You just need to chill out.

It does scare guys away and... that's not good so you just need to ((like you said)) play that game.

Flirt with him and stuff but don't get too deep. I mean, you're just STARTING. Take it a lil slower. :-]]

Be FLIRTATIOUS but don't like, be cocky about yourself and KNOW you're gonna get the guy because then, you end up screwing everything up and it doesn't work. Be yourself. I know you hear that a lot but it works on a lot of guys, unless they're worthless, clueless pigs!

Just relax and let it work on it's own. If there's a chemistry, It'll happen. If not, maybe he's not good for you. Maybe you deserve better than him. You never know until you find out so experiment and flirt to see what happens!

Nature will take it's course. :-]]

If you need any more advice, you can certainly message me or whatever and I will try my best to answer every question you have. :-]]

♥ Kayla

Q: would it be wrong to date a guy a year younger than me. the thing is he lives in my neighborhood and me and his sister and others all hang out. would that be wrong.

it wouldn't be wrong at all. A year is not a big age difference at all.

That would not be wrong at all! :-]]

♥ Kayla

If you need anymore help, message me or whatever! :-]]

Q: ok well my boyfriend and i have been going out for allmost 4 weeks and i dont get to see him that much cuz i met him at this camp but he calls me everyday. the last time he called was tuesday and i have tried calling him but he hasnt answered. well yesterday i was tlaking to a friend online (he is friends with my boyfriend) and he said that they were tlkaing and he mentioned that he wanted to break up. well they talked last week on monday and i talked to him on the fone after that conversation. I dont know what to do...i tried calling im like everyday every minute but i dont know if hes really not there or avoiding the calls and if and wen i do et a hold of him...what should i say? please help...thanx

Sometimes, your boyfriends friend will lie and say "So-And-So wants to break up with you."

You can't always believe what he says...

You need to talk to him if/when you talk to him.

Say, "Your friend told me you wanted to break up with me. Is this true?" and see what he says.

Maybe his friend wasn't lieing. But maybe he was. You will never know unless you find out yourself.

Also, ask him about not answering his phone. Say, "Were you avoiding my calls or just not availible?"

Do you call a cell phone to get to him, or his home phone #?

If its a cell, don't you think he would call you back if he saw missed call?

If its a house, there's caller ID. He can look at the call time and see that you called.

If he doesn't have caller ID ((which I doubt)) then you're pretty much screwed. lol.


You don't need to believe every word that everyone says because HALF of what people say turns out false.

It's called a rumor.

If he was telling the truth and yo uask him and he doesn't say anything or he says, "I don't know..." Say, "Well, you're not the breaking up with me. I'm breaking up with you." and hang up on him.

He should be sure of himself and "I don't know." Is just innacceptable.

Besides, you deserve someone else. If yall hardly ever even see each other, it's stupid to waster your tiem on him when you can get a local guy who you see all the time and trust more.

Trust me. True love will come. :-]]

If you need any more help or if you need me to clarify something than you can send me a message in my inbox.

♥ Kayla

Q: Ok there's this really cute guy at my school I wanna ask him out only Before when I asked a guy out I always got turned down everytime should I change my additude and clothes or just with a better additude? sincerly boycrazy
(16 F)
No, do not change at all.

Never change for a guy. He should like you for WHO YOU ARE. If you change for him... that's just stupid. ((Don't mean to be blunt))

He's a guy... not a GOD. You don't change for him to like you. Your true love will love you the way you are and will love everything about you. If he isn't interested in your style or attitude, he's not the guy for you.

However, I'm not saying give up. Flirt with him. DO NOT ASK HIM OUT! That'll freak him out and scare him away. The BIGGEST turn-on is HARD TO GET. Works everytime. Act flirtatious around him, make him want you, and yank everything out from under him. Then, eventually, give in. lol. Works everytime.

If you're not very good at flirting, just have a conversation. Start out as friends. Act like he's one of your best girlfriends ((But don't talk about nails, hair, and makeup. :-P))

If you're really cool and outgoing and you act like yourself and you be who you REALLY are, he should like you for that. If he's not interested in you, Do not take it personal. Don't think you're ugly or anything. Don't feel down on yourself. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

You don't need a guy like that, anyways. A guy who is thinking of changing you is a jackass and you deserve better than that. Any girl deserves than that, unless it's a complete bitch.

Hey, you're still young. Have fun being ingle!

The right guy will come along for you and you will be very happy with him and he won't care WHAT the hell you wear or how you have your hair/makeup. He will love you for YOU. Personality means everything to me. Looks matter too but not as much.

Trust me. Your guy will come. Try this one out. Have a descent conversation with him/flirt and everything will work out fine.

If this doesn't work, I'm really sorry but I'm trying the best I can to give you the very best advice I have. :-]]

If you have any further questions or if I didn't clarify something, message me and I will be sure to fix it!

♥ Kayla

Q: i'm 17 and i've been wondering something confusing about girls.For instance take these two scenarios:

1)I went to a camp and this gal was looking and smiling at me alot and i did the same too, then later i saw her profile on the internet and messaged her,but she didint' reply back.So has she forgotten me?is she playing hard to get?she doesn't want to look desperate?she doesn't want to look to obvious?

2)Second scenario, I see this gal regularly when I pick my sis up for dance lessons,she keeps on looking at me and I know it, but after a while she stops looking at me and acts as if I;m not there?
Is it because she doesn't want to be too obvious?playing hard to get?forgotten about me?or lost feelings for me?

thanks for reading and I hope you can answer my question.

I have to be blunt with you. You cannot think that EVERY single girl who looks at you likes you!

I'm a girl so I know this... a girl will look at you sometimes if she thinks you're cute but that doesn't mean she wants to go out with you or MARRY you. You just have to know that girls send mixed thoughts. She may be playing hard to get. I don't know... but girls tend to lead guys on a lot... It's not very nice but they don't like being mean by giving you a dirty look or whatever.

I'm not saying she doesn't like you. She could, seriously. She could just be shy. Why don't you make a move on her? Go talk to HER. Girls don't like making the first move. There is ALWAYS a thought in EVERY girl's head saying, "What if he doesn't like me?" If she is looking at you like she wants you to talk to her, do so.

I have NEVER made a move on a guy. My point is you need to talk to her and do a little work. You can't expect her to read your mind. Inside, she's wondering if you even like her. If you do, show it. That's what every girl wants. If she doesn't like you, she'll usually tell you, unless she's just being nice.

I have no clue why girls are like this but they are. lol :-]]

But yea... Try talking to her. I'm sure she hasn't forgotten about YOU. If she has, remind her.

I hope I helped you in any way and if you need me to clarify anything else for you, just drop a message in my inbox.

♥ Kayla

Q: Is there any possible way to get your period sooner?
Sorry but there is no way to get your period sooner. Trust me. Nature will take it's course when your body is ready for it.

F.Y.I... Periods SUCK! They are annoying and can be sometimes painful ((cramps))

lol. I looked forward to mine too but now I wish I didn't have it at all. :-]]

If you have anymore questions on this topic, I'm your girl! :-]]

♥ Kayla

Q: Ok well my bestfriend, she was like my bestfriend ever & like now I just feel like shes replacing me with one of her other friends. cause she used to be like a sister to me and now like we barley talk & i tried to talk to her about it & ask her if she was trying to replace me and she even said i dont know. it really hurts and i was like crying for a while trying to think everything over & i just dont know what to do cause i love her shes like my sister & i deffently dont wanna stop being friends with her. I dont know what to do to make her understand cause talking to her wont work? any other sugjestions? =/

Hun, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I feel like my best friend is replacing me too. Her name is Becka and she has these other two friends, Alyssa and Alix. She's ALWAYS calling them and they are numbers 1 and 2 on her top 4 on her myspace and guess what? I'm #3!!! I was pretty bummed out but hey, I'm sure she's not the ONLY friend you have.

The best thing I can tell you is to be the one to call her! Don't wait around for her to talk to YOU. I'm sure if you started talking to HER more, she would come around and realize, "Hey. This is my BEST FRIEND and I can't just let her go!"

If this doesn't work, try talking to her again. Tell her she's not being herself and frankly, it's really bugging you. Don't be MAD at her ((and tell her that you're not mad at her)) Just clear things up and get EVERYTHING off your chest. Tell her you miss the times with you and her and you feel like those are slipping away.

Tell her it's okay if she has another best friend and tell her you're not jealous or anything but you just don't want her to forget about YOU and to not let this "other" girl take your place because if you truly are her best friend, trust me, NO ONE can take your place because you're in a special slot in her heart that never budges. :-]]

She should understand and if she gets upset, maybe she needs some time to think to herself. Trust me. Everything will work out fine! :-]]

If you need ANY MORE help or if you need me to clarify something that you wonder or need help on, drop a message in my inbox. I'm always here for you if you need help, okay?

♥ Kayla

Q: ok well i sorta just got out of a bad reltionship like a month or two ago nd im finally starting to like other ppl...well theres this guy i like nd he knows i like him nd he said he likes me to but im not sure nd i realized that hes one of those playboy guys who has a lot of girls around him nd stays in reletionships for like a month but he seems different and i dont know im confused...i just sorta got away from a guy like that nd i dont want to get hurt again but i dont just wanna mess around for a month too...what do u think i should do?

Hmm... Sometimes, you shouldn't listen to what other people say or care about what other people think.

I understand you don't want to get hurt again, which is TOTALLY understandable. You cannot go through life always worrying about whether or not you get hurt. Maybe he'll change for you because he really likes you and you guys will end up happy and dedicated to each other. Or he could be just like the others. Sometimes, you have to take chances! ♥

Try talking to him about it... that could work.

Tell him you like him and everything but if he wants to be with you, he needs to treat you like you're the only one he sees and you're the only girl in his life. Sure, he can have friends and stuff but he needs to focus on you, not other girls.

Tell him that you want to be with him but he needs to straighten up because he is NOT going to hurt you!!! :-]]

If you need any further advice or if I didn't clarify things enough, you can put a message in my inbox and I will answer it the best I can!

♥ Kayla

Q: what is a good way 2 ask a boy out???
If you're shy ((like I am)) You always do it with a NOTE! That is the best way... Make it say: "Dear _____, I kinda like you, etc." Just tell him how you feel.

Me? I've always had a friend do it for me. Hahaha. Give him the note, I mean.

You could even have a friend ask you out. That's a good and high effective way too.

I hope you don't blame me if he says no ((not that he will say no ;-])) I am just telling you what I have done. Personally, asking him out is a bit extreme but that's just me. I have never asked a guy out and I don't plan on it. I always tell them I like them and usually, they're pretty cool with it. I flirt with them and eventually, BAM... It happens... But hey, we're all different so if you really wanna go for it, I say GO FOR IT!

Now, there are other ways too... like the phone. Have a friend ((if you know his number, that is)) three way him, pretending your not on the line and she'll ask him all these questions to find out if he likes you. That's a good way too...

Trust me honey...

I've done it all... Hahaha...

That's about all I can think of right now at 6:30 A.M ((lol)) but feel free to drop a question in my inbox if you want anymore ideas... I will think of some more if you don't like these ones.

I hope I helped you in any way and I'm sorry if I didn't. Just give me credit for the time and effort put into this answer but hey, I love doing it! :-]

♥ Kayla

Q: My boyfriend cheated on me one week after we got together. Now I have taken him back (about 2 weeks after he cheated on me). All of my friends thinks it's a misstake but I believe in second chaces and I like this guy...All advicenators out there do you believe in the term- "once a cheater, always a cheater"??
Was it a big misstake to take him back, should I dump him for what he did to me?

if he was really happy with you in the first place, he wouldn't have done it BUT then there is ALWAYS the possibility of him CHANGING his "ways" and trying to improve the way he treats not only you but other girls too...

It all depends on the guy... Is he known for lieing? Would he ever lie to you MORE THAN ONCE? Has he ever lied to other people?

Ask these questions to yourself.

If he has a history of lieing to peopleust ask yourelf those simple questions. Lieing isn't good at all, especially to a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Either he likes you or he doesn't but he cannot keep lieing to you.

It ruins everything. Yall will never be the same, you won't have as much fun together, and eventually, you'll get sick of seeing each other. You do not want that to happen.

So my advice is: Give him another chance but keep a CAREFUL eye on him... it's not called's called BEING A GIRLFRIEND! Hahaha. Come on, you have to know what he does. Just don't get carried away and go to the extremes with this. Don't hide in bushes or follow him around with video cameras. Just watch who he hangs out with.

I hope I helped you in any way possible. You can ask me anything, anytime. I'm always here. :-)

♥ Kayla

Q: Whenever I'm not with my boyfriend I'm happy. And when I'm on my way to see him I think to my self "why didn't I cancel? Why am I going to see him. I don't want to see him!"
But when I do meet him and when I'm with him, I like it and I want to be with him. But then When I have to go I get happy for leaving him!
What's that all about?? Don't I like him? Is it somethig wrong with me??

This is a really tough question... even for me. It seems to me that you don't really know what you want yet. You're having mixed emotions. This is normal. I'm the same way sometimes, with my boyfriend.

It's the feeling of insecurity. Maybe you like SOME things about him but OTHER things bother you a little bit.

Here, think of it this way: Write down all the things you would change about him and all the things you love about him.

See which column has more, likes or dislikes.

If you have more likes, then you'll be able to work everything out and stay with him for a while... I hope! =-]

If you have more DISLIKES, you should probably talk to him about it. Not about him changing ((I don't mean to be blunt)) but about breaking it off...

Maybe just spending some time being single and then consider rekindling everything after thinking a little bit about what you want to do.

You cannot have a relationship where you feel insecure or unsteady in any way.

Your relationship should be steady and healthy and I guarentee you will be happy! =-]

I hope I helped you and if I did, you can ask me ANYTHING ANYTIME! I'm always here! :-)

♥ Kayla

I'm Kayla.



Student at LPHS


Member Since:
July 13, 2005


Last Update:
June 10, 2008


Main Categories:

Favorite Columnists

layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker